A Flower's Touch
by WavesBlade
Summary: Sephiroth is victorious over Cloud and his friends. Having no other choice, Minerva sends Aerith Gainsborough back in time to change the future. In order to do so, Aerith must overcome her previous life as a delicate mystical flower girl and become a true force of nature destined to save the world from the Calamity, and perhaps, even save the Calamity's children from it's grasp...
1. Return to Sender

It was over.

Despite everything they had been through, despite how hard they had all struggled, Aerith Gainsborough watched helplessly from the lifestream as the recently revived One Winged Angel Sephiroth ran Cloud Strife through with his blade. His friends laid beaten and bloody around the battlefield, barley clinging to life with Aerith's help from the lifestream. But it didn't matter, as Sephiroth pulled his sword back, Cloud fell forward and collapsed.

"Goodbye, Cloud," said Sephiroth softly, with an almost fond voice.

The man lifted his sword and swung, decapitating Gaia's champion. The shock of the moment caused Aerith to lose focus, and without her touch, the rest of Avalanche succumbed to their injuries and died. Aerith couldn't help but let loose a grief stricken scream that echoed throughout the entire lifestream, stirring the countless souls that rested there.

She collapsed to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. "No... NO!"

There was nothing in Sephiroth's way anymore. He would destroy the planet and ride it's corpse through the stars only to repeat the tragedy upon another world.

"It's over," sobbed Aerith.

"Dear child," came a soft voice from behind her.

Aerith turned to see Minerva, Goddess of Gaia, manifestation of the will of the planet, appear and walk forward. "Goddess... what do we do?"

Minerva shook her head. "There is nothing we can do, not for _this_ world. My last champion, Genesis, We have sent on his way to stall Calamity's Child, but he will not last long. There will not be enough time for Chaos and Omega to fulfill their duties, ignoring that Calamity's Child would not let them succeed to begin with."

"So it's over? We just give up?!" exclaimed Aerith.

Minerva smiled sadly, "We did not say that. We said merely that there was nothing to be done for _this_ world. But perhaps, for another, there can be hope."

Aerith frowned. "What... do you mean?"

Minerva focused her gaze critically on Aerith. "Child of the planet, will you do us one last service?"

Aerith stood up, face growing determined. "I'll do anything."

Minerva spoke solemnly. "As an Cetra, and as the dearest child born of the planet, you alone had a special attachment to the lifestream. You can flow through it's depths as none before you ever could."

Aerith's eyebrows furrowed. "I thought all Ancients could... why am I special?"

"Because, you are our fail-safe. The planet could see visions of potential futures that awaited us. So many of them, dear child, were bleak. We needed a way out. Within you, we imbued a special ability, to transverse in reverse, at an ultimate cost, through the lifesteam."

"I... don't understand," said Aerith.

"We will initiate the consumption and use of the entire lifestream to destroy the planet and activate it's fail-safe, killing Calamity's Child and sparing my brother and sister worlds his damning touch. In doing so, we can send you back to the past, to create and safeguard a new world," explained Minerva.

Aerith stared at her in shock. "G-goddess... you... the planet... it would sacrifice itself to do so?"

Minerva nodded. "We would. It is our duty to do so. So we ask, will you fulfill this final request?"

"But... what could I do? How could I change things?" asked Aerith.

Minerva smiled. "You'll find a way. Trust in yourself and your gifts, stride forth with strength and conviction, walk past the meekness your youth used to be filled with and grant our world a shinning new future."

Aerith closed her eyes, a green mako tear sliding down her face. "I'll do it."

Minerva strode forward and embraced Aerith in a loving hug. "We know you will dear child, we know you will. We entrust the fate of a new world in your hands."

Minerva began to glow brightly. "Genesis has fallen and Calamity's Child gathers his power to rend the planet anew. There is no more time. Goodbye my child."

Minerva grew brighter and brighter until finally, she exploded in a brilliant shower of light, and for a time, all Aerith saw was green, and then, all she saw was darkness...

* * *

"Aerith? Aerith!" came a slightly panicked voice.

"Tseng, calm yourself, she'll be okay, she still has a pulse," came an older voice.

Aerith slowly became aware of someone shaking her. She groaned and opened her eyes, sighting a younger looking Tseng than she was familiar with looking over her with a bit of panic. The moment he saw her open her eyes, his panic faded and his usual calm mask returned.

He offered her a hand. "It's fortunate you awoke Aerith. You've been out for hours after Rude contacted us. We were contemplating returning you to the labs to be looked after if you did not recover."

Aerith reached up and rubbed her forehead, pausing to look at her smaller hands. She looked down at her younger body, seeing herself in a blue-ish full-body dress. It looked a lot like the one she had met Zack in. She panicked briefly as she began to think. Had she met Zack already? If she had, it might already be to late!

"What year is it?" she demanded.

Tseng blinked a few times, taken aback. "It's... 1999."

She frowned. "How late into the year?"

Tseng studied her curiously. "Aerith?"

She pushed away his offered hand and stood up, She noted another two Turks, the director Veld, and Rude, standing behind him, watching over her. "Answer the question Tseng, now. What is the exact date?"

Tseng seemed uneasy. "November 20th, 1999."

A bead of sweat rolled down Aerith's head. According to what she remembered, there wasn't a lot of time to change things. She had a little less than a full year until Genesis would desert SOLDIER, and slightly less than three years until the Nibelhelm Incident. There was no time to be subtle and hope to gently change things as much as she wished she could do so. She didn't want to be forceful, but, she... she had to take action!

"Aerith? What exactly happened that knocked you out for hours?" asked Tseng.

Aerith ignored him. How was she supposed to change things? There had been so little time from when Cloud had died to when she had been sent back. She had absolutely no clue how to go from here. The planet was utterly silent, not a single whisper echoing through the flowers behind her. She was alone, it was up to her, without any outside guidance, to try and change things. It... was scary. She had always had someone guiding her, whether it was her mothers, Zack, Cloud, or the Planet, she had always had people to turn to for advice. Now it was all on her, and it scared her a bit.

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath before letting it out. There... was no time to be scared. She had to act, she had only one real objective:

Destroy Jenova.

Everything else was secondary. The only problem was, she herself wasn't strong enough to do it. Her body was weak and untrained, she doubted she could even preform basic none-materia healing right now. The only thing she had going for her was her knowledge, her information on what was going to happen... wait...

Information.

It was a powerful weapon, a weapon that the Turks could use... they could be the allies she needed...

Aerith calmly turned and met Tseng's eyes. The man grew confused, taking a step back as their eyes back.

"Aerith?" questioned Tseng with confusion.

"Tseng, what is it?" asked Veld.

"Her eyes... she's... different," whispered Tseng with confusion.

Aerith began to concoct a story in her mind and spoke it, "The Planet saw a vision of it's end and showed it to me, it want's me to change it's future."

The room went still and quiet. Tseng, Veld, and Rude exchanged uneasy glances. She knew they knew what she was, knew they'd understand somewhat of what she was capable of, the ability to commune with the planet being the key ability she was hoping to use against them. It was truthfully the only reason they wouldn't just go and lock her in an insane asylum.

"It's end? When? How?" demanded Veld.

"In less than twenty years," answered Aerith before she turned her calm gaze towards Veld before half-lying, "Jenova kills it. The same Jenova that Hojo is using to create SOLDIERs, the Jenova of the Jenova Project."

Veld went still. "How do you know about..."

She gave him a thin smile. "The planet showed me everything, Veld, everything."

In essence though, perhaps she wasn't lying. Sephiroth hadn't become an insane monster until Nibelhelm. Jenova was the true threat for the moment, the Calamity had to be dealt with. Whether or not she had to find a way to destroy Sephiroth as well remained to be seen.

Veld frowned. "I see, and if you truly know 'everything', then we cannot allow you to remain on the loose."

Aerith nodded. "Of course."

Veld blinked a few times. "Of course?"

Aerith met his gaze grimly. "The only way I can change things is by returning to Shinra."

"You'd willingly go back to the labs?!" asked Tseng with disbelief.

She shook her head. "No, I will not. You will return me to Shinra, but not to Hojo. I... have to find a way to directly counteract Jenova, and you _WILL_ help me do so. And in return..."

She smiled at Veld. "I'll tell you how to find Felicia."

Veld's eyes went wide. "My daughter's alive?!"

"Hojo experimented on her. She has materia in her hand that is slowly killing her. She's suffering amnesia at the moment, and will soon be arriving at Cosmo Canyon if she hasn't already to begin studying there. If you don't go there within the next few months and retrieve her, she will help to found a terrorist group called Avalanche that will fight against Shinra," explained Aerith.

Veld blinked a few times, "She... I... what?"

Aerith merely stared at him patiently. "If you find her and bring her to me, I can extract the materia from her hand. I also recommend you... deal with a man there named Fuhito, he's very dangerous."

She didn't like it, having to ask Veld to kill someone. Even a vile man like Fuhito. It made her stomach churn, but she knew it had to be done. She had seen glimpses through the lifestream, of the atrocities the man had done. Turning people into inhuman monsters called Ravens... **  
**

Veld frowned intently. "Do you swear to me that this is the truth, Ancient?"

Aerith nodded. "It is."

Veld looked furious. "God dammit Hojo..."

Aerith paused for a moment. "And if you want further proof of my claims. Would you be interested in finding out what happened to your former partner?"

Veld froze. "Vincent?"

"Also experimented upon by Hojo. He's currently trapped in a coffin in the basement of the Shinra mansion in Nibelhelm," said Aerith.

Veld look sickened. "Vincent..."

An idea suddenly hit her. "For that piece of information, I'd like you to destroy all of Hojo's files kept in the basement of the Shinra Mansion. Trust me on this, whats written there is half-truths and half-lies that could drive anyone mad."

Veld pondered her words momentarily before nodding. "If everything you've told me is true. If I get both my daughter and my partner back, I will do as you ask. Tseng, I want her put into protective Turk custody. No one but the Turks is to know that she's back in Shinra until I return."

Tseng nodded. "Very well. I'll send someone to collect your things at your home later."

The four of them left a moment later, making for a helicopter sitting outside the church with another Turk standing guard, They boarded it and left.

"If by chance your telling the truth, how exactly does Jenova destroy the world? I thought that thing was brain dead? How could we not have stopped her?" asked Veld.

Aerith pondered how to answer that question for a moment before coming up with a half-truth. "You can't stop her because of her Mind Control. Anyone embedded with her cells can be controlled, and that includes Sephiroth."

Tseng, Veld, and even Rude stared wide eyed at her. "Shit..."

Veld rubbed his forehead. "She turns Sephiroth against us...? Bloody hell..."

She spoke offhandedly, rubbing the spot where Sephiroth had run her through tenderly. "He's the one who kills me and the rest of the planet's guardians. He's too powerful to truly defeat. Avoiding him being controlled by Jenova is... well... the ultimate goal aside from destroying Jenova herself."

"And how exactly do we stop her from controlling Sephiroth? Focus on damage control first before we hit the source," said Veld.

She smiled mischievously. "Get in Hojo's way every chance you can get."

"Why not just kill him?" asked Veld icily.

Aerith paused to consider it. Hojo was the one human she truly had ultimate contempt for. He had committed to many crimes, to many sins. Jenova was the only thing worse than him. If he could be killed then it would be for the best, she could readily admit it despite her misgivings over killing. But...

"He's the only one I think who knows where Jenova is," said Aerith, "Killing him prematurely could mess things up, but, if you can find Jenova's body, go ahead."

Veld nodded slowly. "Very well."

They flew in silence the rest of the way to the Shinra building. Aerith pursed her lips at the sight of it, remembering the last time she had been brought here against her will. She still felt angry about it, how Hojo had wanted her and Nanaki to breed. That disgusting scientist... it took a lot to truly get her mad, but he could do it with ease.

The closer she got, the more distressed she felt. She had put on a forceful, calm facade for the Turks, but inwardly, she was wondering if this was the right way to do this. Should she have gone to Cosmo Canyon instead and got involved with the birth of AVALANCHE? She was unsure... but... she somewhat doubted she would have been able to get there on her own. Not to mention, the Turks would have been watching her extra carefully after her 'collapse' in the church when she came back in time.

No, this was... unfortunately, the best bet in regards to being able to save the world. She had knowledge that could be used, and people who would believe her because of her connection to the planet and her knowledge of confidential things she couldn't possibly have had any access to. Here and now, within Shinra... this was the only way to save the world... to save Cloud and the others...

She would do whatever it took, cross any line that she never had before if that was the cost. She would not fail the world again...

* * *

 _Author's Notes:_

 _I have a guilty love for Time Travel fics. I've read a lot of them for FF7, my favorites being ' Once More with Feeling' by Illusor Meaneld and 'Tempus' Paladin' by Whimsical Symphony, though I've read plenty of the others. I decided that I'd give in and finally start my own, though, I noticed that one certain flower girl has yet to be the main character and primary time traveler (I've read several where she's been a part of it, but not the main one) unless I missed one.  
_

 _I had this concept lurking around in my head and finally decided to just get it out there. I doubt I'll really be starting it anytime soon, but I didn't want to go and forget it._


	2. Uncertainty

_**A Flower's Touch - Chapter 2 - Uncertainty**_

* * *

Aerith was led by Rude into a room deep inside the Department of Administrative Research, or 'Turk' territory. She had never actually been to this part of the building before. During her youth, it had always been the Science Division, and even when she had been recaptured when the plate fell...

The plate...

Aerith pursed her lips, reminded of how far and how low the Turks could actually go if they were ordered to. She would NOT let that happen! It was another reminder of how much suffering she had to prevent in the world.

She paused her thoughts as Rude led her into a room that...

"Why does this look like my room at home?" she questioned intently, eyeing Rude.

Rude barely raised an eyebrow. "Comfortableness."

"How do you all know what my room looks like?" she demanded, growing just a bit furious.

"Been there," was the answer.

"In my room?!" she all but shrieked.

"Yes," was his reply.

Her face turned positively murderous. "You had better not have put cameras or microphones in my room at home!"

At that, Rude raised a full eyebrow. "We're professionals, not perverts, Miss Gainsborough."

Aerith crossed her arms and went, "Hmph," before walking into the room and sitting down on her bed.

It was... really eerie and creepy now that she thought about it. The floor was wooden, there was the larger carpet and then a small circular one oh top of it. Her bed had the same type of pillow and blanket. It had the same dresser with the exact same kind of flowers in vases on it. Even the inside of the door was the same red as her home. Even the room itself was the same shape! The last thing this room made her feel was 'comfortable'.

"If you need anything there will be two of my co-workers outside at all times," said Rude.

"All times?" said Aerith, raising an eyebrow.

"For protection," he simply said.

"From what?" she asked, a little incredulous, they _WERE_ in the heart of Turk territory after-all.

"Hojo if need be," he replied before turning and leaving, closing the door behind him.

Aerith had gone silent at that. Up until Veld could retrieve his daughter and partner, she wasn't safe. If it were found out that she was here, and she was ordered to be handed over, she would be. Even after, she wasn't fully sure she would be safe, depending how things turned out. Now that she thought about it... how WAS this going to turn out?

If Veld retrieved his daughter and killed Fuhito, there would be no AVALANCHE. That would also mean there would be no inspiration for the second AVALANCHE...

Which meant...

If she screwed this up, there might not be something to fallback on...

A bead of sweat rolled down her face at that thought. While she might have saved a lot of lives from being lost during the original AVALANCHE crisis, it might have hurt her in the long run. No, no, she couldn't think of it like that. It... just meant she had to do everything right... but... what exactly _WAS_ she going to do?

It would take Veld at bare minimum a week or two, hopefully, to find his daughter and Vincent. It wasn't exactly a great expedition when Shinra had acess to helicopters. She had some time to come up with some kind of plan.

First: What did she know?

In less than a year, Genesis Rhapsodos, SOLDIER 1st Class, was going to desert Shinra. She didn't know his full story, but, in her few talks with the Goddess, she had come to learn that the man had been plagued by his Jenova taint. It had begun to degrade his body for some reason, causing him to grow a wing, see himself as a monster, and follow another mad scientist, as if Hojo wasn't enough, into desertion.

Zack's mentor Angeal would soon follow, which would set of a chain reaction of missions that eventually led to Zack being forced to kill his mentor. Aerith winced, still recalling when she had came across Zack in the church after that mission. For him, she'd try to make sure that Angeal wouldn't...

Oh...

Him.

Zack.

 _ZACK WAS STILL ALIVE!_

She lost all of the breath in her lungs, and her body began to tremble. She didn't know how to properly digest that thought. It was sudden and startling enough that she herself was alive, and in a younger body, but _Zack_...

In an instant, all the trauma and hardships she had learned Zack had gone through slipped into her mind. She brought up an arm to block her mouth and try to muffle a horrific sob. Oh Zack...

She didn't know how she would handle him. Seeing him, but also seeing what he had gone through. Having to watch as his dreams shattered. As Shinra's corruption became undeniable. As his master fell from grace and was forced to be killed. To watch Sephiroth turn to madness and have to fight him. Years experimented on by Hojo. Taking care of poor mako poisoned Cloud. The... the final sacrifice so close to Midgar... he had been coming for her...

Aerith laid down on the bed, buried her face into her pillow, and sobbed... she couldn't face him... she just couldn't...

* * *

Aerith gave a start as someone knocked on her door. "Miss Gainsborough."

Aerith shook her head and sat up, clearing her throat. "Enter."

A Turk with a shotgun strapped over her shoulder entered the room, depositing a tray of food on the edge of the bed. "I'll come back in ten minutes to collect the leftovers."

Aerith reached for the tray before pausing briefly, studying the Turk curiously. There was an... echo in the back of Aerith's mind. She had learned much while dead in the lifestream, had seen and witnessed so much, but, it was hard to consciously drift through all those memories. Something about this Turk stirred a memory... she had played an important role during the first AVALANCHE insurgency. But what role was it?

"What's your name?" asked Aerith before the Turk could leave.

The Turk paused, turned her head, blinked twice, and simply said, "You can call me Shotgun. Shuriken and I will be standing watch over you for the time being."

Shuriken?

 _Thump Thump_

Another echo stirred in the back of her mind.

"Cissnei?" whispered Aerith, trying to understand what she was hearing.

Shotgun stiffened, shooting her a surprised look before masking it. Abruptly the Turk turned and left the room, shutting the door behind her. It occurred to Aerith that she might not have wanted to speak that aloud. While Veld, Tseng, and Rude knew what was going on, to a degree, the other Turks didn't, they wouldn't understand how she could know such things... and speaking of the other Turks...

Aerith frowned, rubbing her head. She had never met either of these two last time around, aside maybe from being watched by them once or twice. In fact, if she recalled correctly, abruptly at one point so many Turks had suddenly vanished, leaving only Tseng, Rude, and Reno for a time before they got another new member. What had happened to cause that? It made her feel like she was missing another story, something that happened _Before_ the major _Crisis_.

Maybe it was a good thing she was stopping the first AVALANCHE from coming about, she really didn't have much knowledge of what happened then. Which meant that there would be a whole lot that could have gone wrong if it had been allowed to happen...

And that also applied to what was coming up in less than a year. She returned to her previous train of thought before she had cried herself to sleep: Genesis. This whole thing went completely downhill after he left to her knowledge. She didn't know the specifics of it all aside from NOT wanting Zack to have to repeat Modeoheim...

Zack...

No, NO! No more thinking about the bad past! She shook her head violently before refocusing. The best thing to do was to _NOT_ let Genesis defect. But how? She wracked her memories, trying to tap into what she had learned within the lifestream or from the Goddess herself. Degradation. It had torn at his body and mind, disrupting his control and mental stability. How had it been dealt with...

She frowned for a moment before a memory hit her. The Goddess... the goddess herself had saved him. But that had been after the fact, after all the damage had been done and... wait...

Genesis and Zack had fought?! Zack had _BEAT_ Genesis after he had been healed?

She was a bit shocked by the bits and pieces of memories that flowed through her mind. She could see some of his battles, broken and jumbled in her mind and... wait...

 _THE GODDESS_?! She had tested Zack herself?! Well, tested with a weak avatar to be precise but... wow... she knew Zack had received some S-Cells, but, just how strong could he actually become? One day, could he have become as strong as Cloud ended up being? And wait a second... if Minerva could create physical avatars, why didn't she personally intervene in what had happened? Or were there constraints on when and where they could form?

Aerith shook her head and grabbed the tray of food on her bed, putting in her lap and starting to eat as she kept thinking.

She needed to stop derailing her thoughts. She needed a plan. She needed to stop Genesis from leaving Shinra. So many bad things happened because of that one act. If she could stop that, then, that only left the Nibelheim Incident to deal with. But... would that event even happen as it did before if she changed Genesis leaving? Or heck, if she stopped AVALANCHE from ever being born?

It hit her suddenly how dangerous meddling with past events was to the future. Each change, no matter how little, could ripple out and lead to more changes, some drastic some not. Eventually, the future would become unrecognizable and she would lose her advantage she held now. That meant...

She nodded slowly. That meant the most important thing she could do was do as much drastic damage as she could and shake things up as much as possible right here and now. Well, when Veld got back anyway. After that, she'd need to end up in a position of power that would let her counteract anything bad that happened once her future knowledge lost it's potency.

To be frank. Even if everything went perfectly, and that was: Jenova dead. Hojo dead. Sephiroth still sane or permanently dead; things could still go wrong in the far future... and wait...

Sephiroth. Permanently dead. Pick one or the other.

She groaned with frustration and wanted to yell profanities that would make Cid proud. Sephiroth in the future had kept reviving himself over and over again no matter how many times Cloud and the other's beat him. That meant she had one actual option concerning him: He _HAD_ to stay sane. He could _NOT_ become enthralled with Jenova again, otherwise history was doomed to repeat itself. Beyond that...

She sighed quietly to herself. Sephiroth was a conundrum to her. It was hard to hate and hard to not hate him at the same time to put it plainly: He had killed her. He had eventually killed Cloud and the others. He was a monster.

And yet...

She knew he hadn't always been that way. He had once been a 'good' man. Zack had considered him a friend. While she didn't know much about him personally, he had friends, he had a strong career and was considered a hero, though, definitely not to the Wutai. He had probably saved the lives of many people by slaying monsters in missions and the like. He had the potential to be good, just as readily as he had potential to be evil.

More than hate, perhaps she just pitied him. She had been in the Nibelheim basement with Cloud and the others, reading through those books full of lies and half-truths. She had spoken with Vincent, had learned much of what had been involved with Sephiroth's birth. The man had been lied to and used his entire life. It was... sad... and even further, knowing what she knew, was it any surprise he had gone insane? Especially if the 'truth' he had learned in Nibelheim had been tainted by Hojo?

Perhaps this time it could be different for him. Aerith nodded to herself silently. It would be different for him, different for everyone. If Sephiroth didn't lose his friends... maybe that alone could have grounded him? No...

No, Hojo would have found some other way to twist Sephiroth into a monster.

She ground her teeth and couldn't help but hiss. Hojo. That damn man... she actually felt _BAD_ that Sephiroth had _him_ as a father...

She wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Okay so:

First Objective post gaining Turk trust: Save Genesis?

Or...

Deal with Hojo and Jenova?

Could she even deal with them so soon?

No, she needed more allies, and, she needed to grow stronger herself. She had learned so much more of what an ancient was capable of after entering the lifestream. If she could grow her body and talents, she'd be far stronger than she had been during the hunt for Sephiroth.

She needed the Turks on her side, AND she needed SOLDIER on her side. She knew that without a doubt at this point. Saving Genesis would go a long way towards earning the trust of SOLDIER, but aside from that... what else could she do? Even if she was an Ancient, that in itself probably wouldn't mater that much to the SOLDIERs. They respected strength, and mostly, eachother, and it wasn't like she was a SOLDIER herself, they...

She paused briefly, a flicker in her memory. She recalled once misleading Cloud by telling him the Turks were interested in recruiting her for SOLDIER when they had first met. It had been a lie, but...

Being a SOLDIER was a source of power and influence...

Aerith frowned intently at that line of thought and stopped eating. The thought was a disturbing one to her. She recognized that she needed to become stronger, and that her powers as an Ancient might not be enough. But... chasing power was not something she was interested in, but, she might not have a choice.

She kicked her legs out once, twice, three times, fidgeting. Chasing power was a dark road one could walk. If not done very carefully, it could led to the corruption of who one was. She didn't think she could ever really go power hungry, it just felt sickening to even think it of herself, but... it was foolish not to acknowledge the possibility of damning herself in her pursuit to save the world. If she ever walked down that road as the sole surviving Ancient, she could do so much damage to the world...

Still...

She toyed with the thought of becoming a SOLDIER. Was that even possible? Did she really want to go that far? To be frank, did she have a choice in the matter? Could she afford to just sit back and try to influence things from the shadows? Well... maybe? Hopefully? She didn't really like having to kill things, or people...

She fidgeted for a moment before putting the tray on he edge of the bed and moving to the center of the room and knelt down, closing her eyes and clasping her hands together, she needed a question answered first. " _Planet_?"

She got no response to her prayers. Oh dilly dally, could she even reach the planet in Midgar in the Shinra building itself? She sighed quietly before redoubling her efforts, this was important, she needed the planet's wisdom.

" _Planet_?" she prayed again.

 **CHILD.**

Aerith's eyes went wide. It heard her! And it actually directly responded with acknowledgement for once!

 **CHILD. FAIL-SAFE ACTIVE. DESIRES?**

Aerith blinked a few times. The planet knew she had been thrown in the past? Maybe that was why it was so directly talking to her. It knew what was at stake perhaps. But how did it know to begin with?

 **PAIN. MEMORY. LOSS OF AVATAR.**

Aerith grew confused for a moment. Loss of Avatar...? What did that mean?

She shook her head abruptly and refocused, trying to communicate as the planet did. " _SOLDIER. FEMALE. MAKO. POSSIBLE?_ "

 **CALAMITY'S TAINT!**

Aerith winced. Right, all SOLDIERs were tainted by Jenova to allow themselves to be enhanced and not die to the Mako. Hrm...

" _SOLDIER. FEMALE. CETRA. MAKO. NO-CALAMITY. POSSIBLE_?" she asked.

There was silence, as if the planet were thinking.

 **WILL NOT ALLOW HARM TO CHILD.**

And there it was, and in a near full sentence to boot for once. If she took that path, the Planet itself would not allow her to die. It gave her a more hands on option if she wanted to take it, but... it still made her nervous to think about, and speaking of which, she had a request...

" _GENESIS. DEGRADATION. CURE!_ " she asked.

 **DON'T UNDERSTAND**.

Aerith cursed quietly to herself. She thought briefly before trying to force her memories of degradation down the link. The Goddess had cured the degradation once, she could do so again...

 **IMPOSSIBLE. AVATAR LOST.**

Aerith's eyebrows furrowed. Avatar lost... in response to her thought about the Goddess curing Genesis... wait...

Aerith grew petrified. No, _NO WAY_! There was no way! Minerva had sacrificed herself in the future, there was no way she could be dead in the past as well!

 **FAIL SAFE. REPLACEMENT. COST.**

Aerith trembled in fear. Had it killed Minerva in _BOTH_ the past and the future to send her back in time? Oh Gaia no...

Aerith was resisting the urge to throw up, to cry and scream. The Goddess couldn't be gone. She couldn't be dead... wait... _WAIT_! If she was dead then...

" _FAIL-SAFE. SECOND TRY. IF FAILURE_?" she desperately asked.

 **NO. REPLACING AVATAR. MILLENNIUMS.**

The response was immediate and deafening. If she understood right, it apparently took thousands of years to make a new avatar, a new goddess of the planet. She had one shot at this. Just one. The Planet couldn't do it's fail-safe again in the allotted time-frame. If she failed, it was over...

Uncertainty and fear plagued her like a disease, spreading through her body so rapidly and ferociously. What was she going to do? She couldn't do this... she... she... what was she going to do?!

 **FAITH. JUDGEMENT. HOLY.**

Aerith went still, her eyes going wide. Holy, the Holy Materia... where had she kept it when she was younger? When it wasn't in her ribbon? She searched herself quickly before discovering it simply in a pocket. Wow... had she really just so casually carried it around like that? What if it had fallen out? She scolded herself furiously before pulling Holy out and cradling it gently in her hands.

This... this was a trump card in her hands. Without Sephiroth or Jenova active, Holy would be unchallenged, it would not be held back. The question was... how was she to use this? What was the right way to do so? She didn't even know _HOW_ Holy could be used outside of combating Meteor. What were its true capabilities? Were there conditions and costs to using it?

She could admit, she didn't know much about it. Even the knowledge in the lifestream about it was limited. To her knowledge, Holy had only been used once before in the far past, back during Jenova's original reign of terror on the planet, and those events had been deeply locked in the planet's memories out of her reach. So... what was the proper way to use it?

 **TRUST. JUDGEMENT.**

Aerith sighed to herself. The planet was putting everything in her hands. She rolled the Holy materia in her hand briefly before pocketing it, breaking off her link with the planet, standing up, and beginning to pace the room. She had a week or two hopefully before Veld returned, she needed to think on what to do, on how to do it...

Save Genesis. Keep Sephiroth sane. Kill Hojo. Destroy Jenova.

And then deal with any aftermath or future issues that came up...

Oh Gaia, how was she going to do this?

* * *

 _Author's Notes:_

 _So yeah, I might have lied about not continuing the story anytime soon. I just decided all the sudden to write a chapter. I can't promise consistency in when I release updates. Eat me._

 _Before Crisis's references! Note: I did not play the game, but I have a general gist of it (Final Fantasy Wiki), I don't plan on going into it to much, but I reserve the right to use those Turks in this story, AND I reserve the right to maybe use Zirconiade._

 _So yeah, big thing: Minerva is permanently dead, and Aerith is flipping out over how she can possibly handle this. Let's see how she handles things neeeextttt time on the adventures of Flower Girl!  
_

* * *

 _Review Responses:_

 _Sango44 : There wont be a defined update schedule, sorry. _

_I waaaant more revieeewwsssss._

 _UnLike Us : Big review! YES!_

 _That contrast is going to grow and grow. In the effort to save the planet, how much of herself will Aeris give up to do what she has to do?_

 _LOL Lifesteam. Hah. I almost want to leave that error._

 _I think I might have read them once. IDK how much I'd tap into them or not._

 _The shelf-ness of this story is... questionable. I update a given story at random as time allows. ^_^_

 _Alma : Ask and receive. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Aerith is kinda flipping out and going in circles the entire time. _

_Lady Yomi : I hope you enjoy the ride then, its gonna be a fun one._


	3. Cards on the Table

_**A Flower's Touch - Chapter 3 - Cards on the Table**_

* * *

Aerith could admit, she had underestimated Veld. She hadn't even had a week. Five days, five days and he had retrieved both Felicia and Vincent and gotten back here. Felicia was somewhere else in the Turk area, and Vincent... well... he was sitting next to Veld in a conference room. Aerith was rather surprised Veld had been able to stir him out of his rut.

Veld, Tseng, and Vincent were the only three Turks present, no one else was there. Shotgun and Cisseni had led her to the room and left, leaving the three Turks staring silently at Aerith.

Aerith didn't... really know how to interact with Vincent at the moment. It was so strange, to see her old comrade staring at her with curiosity, not a hint of recognition. It was kind of painful actually. They hadn't known eachother long in the original timeline, but... the mere fact that he didn't know her anymore hurt. It would be even worse if she ever met up with any of the others again...

She smiled weakly at Vincent. "It's good to see you up and out of your coffin."

Vincent half-raised an eyebrow. "Chaos and Veld didn't give me much of a choice."

Aerith was caught offguard. "Chaos? He wanted you to help?!"

Vincent studied her for a moment. "You know of it?"

"He's a special WEAPON of the planet," said Aerith, deciding not to disclose the purpose of Chaos and Omega as of the moment.

Vincent nodded slowly. "He told me that the ' _Fail-Safe_ ', you, desired my aid and that I would have to obey."

Veld slapped a hand on his shoulder, smiling warmly at him. "And I did a bit of guilt tripping over Sephiroth based on what you told me, Ancient."

Aerith blinked a few times, studying Veld. She hadn't seen him to many times in the original timeline, but, she never recalled seeing him seem so happy. That pleasant and content look on the Turk Director's face, if her changes had already changed a man like him to such a degree by returning his daughter and partner, well, she felt a bit more confident in what she was doing. It... pleased her to be off to such a start.

Vincent slowly nodded. "If I can spare Lurecia's son from being enslaved, I will. It's the least I can do to atone."

Tseng cleared his throat. "Aerith, these visions you saw, and knowledge you gained, give us a very clear advantage over what is to come. We need all of the information you can give in order to plan our next moves."

Aerith only briefly mulled over her choices before deciding to follow through with her plans. "Hollander."

Veld raised an eyebrow. "What about him?"

She had long since decided that she was going to be as truthful as possible. Lies, deception, they were what had ended them all up in this mess to begin with. She would not repeat the mistakes of the past.

"Ignoring Jenova and Hojo, the true crisis begins with him and Genesis," said Aerith.

Veld frowned intently. "Genesis Rhapsodos... he is a dangerous man to cross, we'll have to play it carefully in taking him out and..."

Aerith shook her head violently. "No no no! You don't have to kill him! We have to save him!"

Veld gave her a confused look. "Explain."

"In less than a year, he's going to get injured in a training accident with Angeal Hewely and Sephiroth. Because of the experimentation on him when he was an embryo, the wound will not heal and his body and mind will begin to degrade. Hollander will use Genesis's desperation and instability to influence him to leave Shinra do horrible things," said Aerith.

"This in turn will eventually lead to Angeal leaving Shinra as well and dying," said Aerith, "And betrayed by, and losing his friends on top of the lies Hojo planted for Sephiroth, he will be vulnerable to Jenova's control."

Vincent cleared his throat. "Vulnerable? I was under the impression Jenova's control did not require a vulnerability."

Aerith shook her head. "Those with extremely strong wills can resist her, but, Sephiroth's will and mind were just... in tatters."

Veld pondered it for a moment before nodding. "I browsed briefly through the library in the basement of the Shinra Mansion before burning it. I know damn well some of the things I read were lies."

Aerith nodded. "Yes."

"So, to clarify, Genesis and Angeal die, and Sephiroth is controlled in the visions you saw?" asked Tseng.

Aerith nodded. "Yes."

"Without those two, there's no one that could come close to stoping Sephiroth. That alone demands we attempt to preserve their lives just incase we fail with the end goal of keeping Sephiroth's will free," mused Tseng.

Aerith was tempted, very tempted, to refute that. Cloud could handle him, well, maybe. Without Hojo's experimentation on him, she didn't know if he would be strong enough. Regardless of the power it would give him, she would never let him be hurt like that again. Regardless, she wanted Cloud and the other's identities kept quiet for the time being.

"Hollander's threat can be dealt with by assassination, the degradation of Commander Rhapsodos however, how do we deal with that?" asked Veld.

Aerith went silent for a moment, not exactly thrilled by being one incuring another murder. But... Hollander was almost as bad as Hojo... maybe... maybe another death was okay...

She blinked and refocused. "I... may have a personal solution to that."

"May?" asked Veld.

Aerith bit her lip nervously before slowly pulling Holy out of her pocket and placing it on the table. "This..."

Vincent suddenly shuddered, a gold light entering his eye. "Little ancient, you play your hand too freely."

Veld flinched a bit, staring at Vincent warily. "I don't think I'm ever going to get used to your demons Vincent."

Vincent-Chaos eyed him briefly, an amused look on his face, before returning a critical eye to Aerith.

Aerith pursed her lips. "I know what I'm doing."

Vincent-Chaos studied her briefly before shrugging. "Your choice little ancient, if you fail, you won't get a second chance."

With that, Chaos relinquished his control and Vincent viciously shook his head. "..."

Veld put a hesitant hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

Vincent merely huffed. "Fine."

Tseng studied Holy. "I've never seen a materia like that before."

"This is Holy, its a one of a kind special materia from the planet itself," explained Aerith, "It can only be used by an Ancient."

"What are its capabilities?" asked Tseng, interest clear in his eyes.

"Aside from counteracting the black materia? I don't really know," said Aerith.

"Black materia?" asked Veld warily.

"Another threat we're going to deal with later when we get a chance," said Aerith gravely, "That materia is too dangerous to leave around, but, it's not an immediate threat. We'll retrieve it when we get a chance and return it to the planet so Jenova can't get her hands on it."

Veld nodded slowly. "Very well, but, for curiosity's sake, what can the Black Materia do?"

She smiled nervously. "Summon a meteor to impact the planet."

The eyes of the three Turk's widened immensely.

"How is that not an immediate threat?!" demanded Veld.

"Because Jenova is not active yet with a host to go retrieve it," said Aerith.

Veld's gaze was dark. "Fine, but it will be dealt with, soon, with a high priority."

"Your going to need a robot to safely retrieve it, I suggest getting Reeve Tuesti's help. His robot was how it was retrieved in the future," she explained, "A little incentive to get him started on that project early might be a good idea."

Tseng nodded. "Noted."

Vincent cleared his throat. "Back on track, Holy."

Aerith closed her eyes and sighed. "I... don't know if Holy can be used to save Genesis or not, but, I have no other options to choose from. Either it works, or it doesn't."

"So, the future hinges on that one act?" asked Tseng with concern.

Aerith hesitated. "I... don't know. I don't really have any ideas if Genesis dies. Maybe we could salvage the situation, but, I don't know. It would certainly make things a lot more difficult."

"Continue speaking under the assumption it works, if it doesn't, we'll come up with a backup plan," ordered Veld.

"Well, with Felicia here, AVALANCHE won't happen...," began Aerith.

She blinked a few times. "You did kill Fuhito, right?"

Veld nodded. "No questions asked."

Aerith bowed her head and sighed. "It... was for the best I suppose. He's just as bad as Hollander and Hojo."

She frowned. "That reminds me, I need to see your daughter as soon as possible and get the materia out of her hand."

Veld nodded once more. "She's fine as of the moment. After this meeting you will do so."

Aerith took in a breath before letting it out. "As I was saying. AVALANCHE isn't going to happen. So a lot of things are already going to change."

Veld nodded. "Of course."

"If Genesis doesn't desert, and AVALANCHE doesn't form, then, I don't think there will be any major problems up until the _Nibelheim Incident_ , if it even happens as it did in the vision," said Aerith.

Vincent frowned intently. "The way you say it, I take the 'Nibelheim Incident' is where Sephiroth is controlled?"

Aerith nodded. "It's where everything that can go wrong, did go wrong. Jenova was in the reactor..."

Veld held up a hand and pulled out a phone, dialing a number. "Reno, get Rude and get a chopper out to the Nibelheim reactor, bring camera's to set up. Search the reactor for a mutated blue 'woman'. If you find it, call me. If not, set up the cameras inside the reactor and get out. You are not to be detected. Understood?"

He waited for confirmation before flipping the phone closed. "I assume confirming that Jenova is not currently there is important."

Aerith nodded. "Yeah, its a good idea. I'm not certain if Jenova would be there now, or if she was moved there."

"How far in the future was the Nibelhiem Incident?" asked Tseng.

"Roughly three years," answered Aerith.

Tseng tilted his head in thought. "So then, assuming Genesis is saved, we will have three years to prepare for this 'incident', if it happens at all in any form."

Aerith nodded. "If we can deal with Hojo and Jenova, it won't even come up. I know Hojo needs to be stopped, but..."

She gave Vincent a pointed look. "It has to wait until we find Jenova. We need him to track her down."

Vincent raised an eyebrow. "Would it not be safer to simply kill him? No one will activly be trying to weaken Sephiroth that way."

Aerith hesitated. "Well... maybe... but... if Jenova is just laying around somewhere and is stumbled across, things could get messy, and Gaia forbid if Sephiroth stumbles across her unprepared, or if Genesis or Angeal do, they too could be controlled."

"There is danger in either route," said Tseng, "But, Hojo will most likely not act until he feels he is ready. Losing the Shinra Mansion library, and Sephiroth's friends remaining alive, will make his plans more difficult to go through with. This in turn may extend the timetable on the ' _Nibelheim Incident_ ' or any similar event."

Aerith nodded before hesitated. "There... might be another way to also help prevent Sephiroth and the other's being controlled..."

"How?" demanded Veld.

Aerith met his gaze dead on. "By telling them the absolute truth about Project Jenova, Project G, and Project S in a controlled environment."

Veld stared at her in disbelief. "Are you insane?!"

Aerith frowned at him. "It's the lies about both G and S that led to this whole thing happening to begin with! They will have time to adapt and adjust to the truth that will leave them stronger for it. Those three have been lied to their entire lives, they deserve the truth!"

Veld looked... very uncertain. "..."

"We will think on it," interrupted Tseng, "For the time being, is there any other countermeasure we can come up with or idea you have?"

Aerith hesitated, before finally making a decision on SOLDIER. "There... is something that we can try, to weaken Jenova's influence and create a backup plan."

"Such as...?" asked Veld.

"Jenova cells are being used in the SOLDIER process. Each one of them is a potential host for Jenova, each one of them carry her cells to be used," said Aerith, "That has to stop."

"The President wont give up the SOLDIER process," warned Veld.

Aerith nodded. "He will if we give him a safer way."

"A safer way?" questioned Tseng.

Aerith faltered for a moment. "If... I... well..."

She closed her eyes. "My cells. If they used my cells, the cells of a real ancient, instead of Jenova's, the process will still work. I asked the planet to confirm it and it did."

Veld frowned. "You do realize that will involve you returning to the labs at some point."

"I know," said Aerith weakly.

"Hmm, we'll need to get a volunteer to serve as proof that the process works," said Tseng.

"Me," said Aerith quietly.

Tseng looked at her sharply. "You can't be serious."

Aerith frowned at him, it had taken a lot of nerve on her part to even go through with offering the idea, she was not going to back down now. "It has to be me. I have to become a SOLDIER. If all else fails, I need to be as strong as I possibly can in order to fight Jenova, and even Sephiroth if need be. I'm the only one with the knowledge, ability, and the power to commune with and get the aid of the planet. An ancient, even a half-ancient like me, infused with Mako, is something I don't think has ever existed before. I will be the final fallback fail-safe if all else fails."

Tseng looked unsettled, staring at her in bewilderment. To be frank, Aerith secretly shared in that stare. She could hardly believe she had gotten herself to go through with and say that. It was out there now, and there was no taking it back.

She smiled faintly. "I won't be alone though. Ancient infused SOLDIERs, and even the WEAPONS of the planet can be used if need be. I don't think the Planet will hesitate to call them out if need be, or if I ask it to."

"What about the current Jenova infused SOLDIERs?" asked Veld.

Aerith blinked a few times, contemplating it. "Hmm."

How was she going to handle that?

 **PURGE.**

Aerith nearly jumped at that. She wasn't even praying and the planet was talking to her! Wait, the planet wanted her to KILL them?! No way! That would kill Zack too!

She frowned and thought back, " _DON'T WANT TO KILL THEM_."

 **PURGE. NOT KILL. INFUSE CELLS. REPLACE CALAMITY.**

Aerith was surprised. " _My cells will overpower Jenova's_?"

 **TOUCHED BY THE AVATAR. FAIL-SAFE. CANNOT BE TAINTED.**

Aerith was a bit lost on that translation as to the why, but, she understood then that she was immune to Jenova's cells, but...

" _Can my cells purge Genesis, Angeal and Sephiroth_?" she asked the Planet.

 **CALAMITY'S CHILDREN. TO TAINTED. PREVENT CONTROL. NO OTHER SOLUTION.**

Aerith frowned at that.

 **SAVE FOR AVATAR'S CHOSEN. HOLY. PURIFY AS INTENDED.**

Aerith nodded slowly. The Planet was giving her the go ahead to use Holy on Genesis. She knew his 'experimentation' as part of Project G wasn't the same as Angeal's. He wasn't as... directly infused as Angeal was, and Sephiroth by extension.

Aerith pondered it briefly. "Hmm..."

"Aerith?" came a voice.

Aerith blanked for a moment before glancing up at Tseng. "Huh?"

"You were... communing?" asked Tseng.

Aerith smiled. "The Planet told me my cells can be injected to replace Jenova's in everyone except for Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis."

Vincent crossed his arms. "That will require a lot of blood to be withdrawn from you overtime, thus many visits to the lab."

Aerith gave him a warm smile. "I guess you'll have to be my bodyguard then. I don't think Hojo would try anything with you and Chaos there."

Vincent frowned. "..."

Veld rubbed his chin. "If all the SOLDIERs lose their Jenova cells save those three, and those three remain in control of themselves, Jenova's threat will be heavily neutralized."

Aerith frowned. "To a degree, but..."

She closed her eyes. "It runs the risk of awakening Jenova. She's... dormant I guess, right now. But, if were actively struggling against her, if she feels her grasp slipping to fast, she may become active. Do not ever underestimate Jenova herself. She _CAN_ become her own threat. She was the one directly responsible for the fall of the Cetra."

It was definitely true. Cloud and the others had fought Jenova in her true form in the Northern Crater after all. Though, she had been subjugated by an insane Sephiroth's will.

"So then, we will do it slowly, over time," suggested Veld.

Aerith nodded. "It's a good idea."

"So, aside from SOLDIERs and Jenova herself, there's no other sources of her cells anywhere?" asked Veld.

Aerith hesitated before glancing at Vincent. "Well... I mean... Hojo may have hidden caches somewhere, but, Lucrecia is the highest concentration of them outside of SOLDIER that I know of."

Vincent sucked in a breath. "Lucecia lives?!"

Aerith nodded. "You and her are more alike than you think. She's intentionally entrapped herself in a Mako crystal in a cavern on the western continent as her own atonement and punishment. She..."

Her eyes went wide as an idea struck her. "Oh! OH!"

She grew excited. "Vincent! You have to convince her to come out of her imprisonment! In the future, Sephiroth is lied to and convinced that Jenova is his mother, that helps to weaken him. If he meets his real mother then he won't be as easily controlled or deceived!"

Vincent stood up. "I will not make Lucrecia wait. She never had a chance to even hold her son. I'm going, now. Where exactly is this cavern?"

"It's behind a waterfall in a circle of mountains that kind of looks like a crater. There's a lake in front of the cave. Its dead center of the western continent," explained Aerith.

Vincent left the room without further word.

Aerith smiled, feeling giddy. "She'd be the perfect one to tell Sephiroth the truth too!"

Tseng frowned. "He may not react well to it."

Veld nodded. "Especially since his mother was a willing participant."

"Up to a certain point," argued Aerith.

Veld sighed. "I suppose it'll have to do. We will wait for Vincent to return with Doctor Crescent before moving forward. In the meantime, I believe you have an appointment helping my daughter."

Aerith nodded. "Take me to her."

Veld and Tseng rose to their feet, making for the entrance of the room. Aerith did the same, feeling so excited and happy that she wondered if she had become a little kid moving in with her adoptive mother for the first time again. The plans they had in place, the ideas, especially the last one, had given her such hope and confidence for the future. If everything went smoothly, she felt sure that everything would turn out alright.

She prayed it would... oh how she prayed it would...

* * *

 _Author's Notes:_

 _Self-explanatory chapter._

 _The Lucrecia's return thing actually wasn't even planned. It just hit me to do it as Tseng was asking about more sources of Jenova cells. Tee hee, on the spot inspiration ftw!  
_


	4. Crescent Truths

_**A Flower's Touch - Chapter 4 - Crescent Truths**_

* * *

Aerith loosely fiddled with the pieces of the Zirconiade matera in her pocket that she had extracted from Felecia, nervously watching the monitor display of a conference room. Tseng was standing behind her chair, watching quietly. This was it... in truth, she had no idea how this was honestly going to play out. How would they handle the truth? Peaceful and acceptable? Rage and revenge? Somewhere in between? She was... a bit afraid. One by one, the trio entered the room. Genesis Rhapsodos, Angeal Hewely and...

Him.

Sephiroth.

She reflexively gripped the arms of the chair she was in, unable to help herself from growing even more nervous and afraid. Even if she was in another part of the building, watching through a camera, it was still nerve wracking.

Genesis flopped down in a chair and put his feet up on the table, his voice crackling through the microphones hidden in the room, "So, think they're still mad about the last time we broke the VR room? I can't think of any other reason we'd be pulled in here."

Angeal rolled his eyes. "We broke it? I'd readily admit any guilt I had IF I had any. I'm fairly certain that was all on you."

Genesis smirked. "You hurt me Angeal. _The arrow has left the bow of the Goddess_."

There was a bizarre sound all of the sudden. Something she had never heard before. She turned her eyes to a different monitor display, sighting Sephiroth... chuckling softly?! There was the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. It... was so strange to see. And his eyes... they didn't show any hints of the power hungry genocidal madness she had so often seen there. She had known he had been a man once, but... this... it was so strange to her to see it.

"You seem startled?" asked Tseng with curiosity.

She turned her head. "He... never laughed or smiled like that in the visions. He was just..."

She couldn't bring herself to say it, to bring up those awful memories. She looked on the monitors again, staring at the man the monster of the future had once been. Her body slowly relaxed. She felt her own curiosity become aroused, she wanted to learn more, see more, of the man Sephiroth had once been.

"Somehow, I feel that whatever we are here for is not related to so simple an issue as the breaking of equipment," mused Angeal.

Genesis scratched his head. "What did we DO then? I can't think of a reason they'd haul us up here."

"You assume we are in trouble," said Sephiroth, his voice smooth, his words to the point.

Angeal nodded. "It could be a mission, an important one if it includes all three of us."

Genesis smirked. "You think they could create a mission worthy of all our efforts? Wutai wouldn't last more than a month if they sent all three of us at once. What else is there?"

A slow creak entered the room, causing the trio to pause and turn their heads to the door. Slowly, Lucrecia Crescent, in her normal scientist work attire, walked into the room and closed the door behind her. She sadly swept her gaze across the room. Her eyes tightening, her face scrunching up a bit, as she laid her eyes on Sephiroth. Aerith wasn't anywhere near the room and she could practically feel the guilt radiating from the woman.

"Hmm, this is a new one," mused Genesis, "Looks like a fresh assistant of Hojo's. By chance my lady do we have a task from the _Science Department_?"

There was notable distaste in those last two words, enough to make Lucrecia flinch. Her eyes wavered to Genesis for a moment before returning to staring at her son, seeming to be unable to speak.

Angeal's gaze passed back and forth between the two for a few moments before his eyes widened. "Gen... look."

Genesis raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you tell me not to ogle the favored gender during briefings?"

Aerith resisted the urge to snort and laugh despite the situation.

Angeal slapped the back of Genesis's head. "Look."

Genesis did as instructed, frowning for a moment before it apparently dawned on him. "Oh."

Aerith nodded absentmindedly to herself. The similarities between Lucrecia and Sephiroth were unmistakable. The shape of their hair, their eyes, their nose, their face... it all matched. Sephiroth looked one-hundred percent more like her than he did Hojo, to be frank, he shared almost no similarities with his father.

Sephiroth's face was a perfect mask, no, it was too perfect. Aerith could see faint recognition in his eyes, he knew who stood before him, and he was taking extra care to keep his thoughts and feelings bottled up. It pained Aerith to see this, perhaps she was deluding herself into thinking they'd be hugging and crying over one another after being re-united.

Sephiroth's tone was crisp, calm, and collected. "You are my mother."

Lucrecia nodded. "Y-yes."

Genesis and Angeal's eyes were turning back and forth between Mother and Son. Both were perfectly silent.

Sephiroth tilted his head, eyes washing over her entire body, appearing to burn her into his memory. "I was told you died in childbirth, Jenova."

Lucrecia flinched. "My name isn't Jenova."

Sephiroth grew visibly annoyed. "So I was lied to even about your name?"

Lucrecia nodded. "My name is Lucrecia Crescent."

Sephiroth tasted it. "Crescent."

His lips twitched upward a bit. "Preferable to the last name of that walking mass of complexes."

Genesis gave a snort at that. Angeal turned and gave Genesis a look, wanting him to keep quiet. Lucrecia seemed a bit relieved at those words, at least, until Sephiroth's eyes narrowed at her.

"I am almost twenty years old, where have you been this entire time?" asked Sephiroth, his voice calm, too calm, a forced calm, a deadly calm.

Lucrecia bowed her head. "I... I've been in a self-imposed exile over my involvement in Project S."

Sephiroth's hands tightened into fists. "Project S?"

"A sub-project of the Jenova project," answered Lucrecia, her voice quiet.

Sephiroth appeared confused. "Jenova is what I was told your name was."

Lucrecia shook her head. "Jenova is a several thousand year old corpse that we believed was an ancient that we dug out of the Northern Crater. The purpose of the project was to use her cells to create Human-Ancient hybrids."

Sephiroth pondered it for a moment. "I see. I assume then, that I am the result of Project S."

Lucrecia nodded. "Y-yes..."

Sephiroth brought a hand up to massage the side of his head. "..."

Angeal reached over and put a hesitant hand on his shoulder before squeezing. Sephiroth's eyes briefly turned to him, a head tilt of thanks, before returning to Lucrecia.

"So, Hojo told me Jenova was my mother because I have her cells and you left me?" he clarified, accusation in his voice.

Lucrecia shook her head. "I... never wanted to leave, but... I..."

Sephiroth cleared his throat, a dangerous tone in his voice. "Speak clearly and plainly. I am in no mood for lies as of the moment."

Aerith tensed. He was mad, he was _very_ mad.

Lucrecia met his gaze. "I was never allowed to see you or hold you after you were born. Hojo wanted the 'human' element removed from your upbringing. After he shot a... friend of mine who tried to interfere, I ran."

Sephiroth leaned forward, studying her intensely, hunting for lies. "..."

Slowly, he sat back in his chair and sighed, appearing to believe her. "Yes, that would be just like Hojo, wouldn't it?"

He crossed his arms and stared at her. "So then, why are you here?"

"To tell you the truth about Project Jenova," she answered grimly.

Sephiroth frowned. "Why would the company suddenly bring you back, and reveal what I imagine is beyond top secret information to me?"

Lucrecia smiled faintly. "The President and Board of Directors don't know I'm here doing this, save for Veld."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at that, a rather pleased look crossing his face for a moment before he hid it. "I see."

He tilted his head, curious. "Why would the Director of the Turks, the most loyal to Shinra, betray the company by doing this?"

Lucrecia's eyes briefly flickered to a camera before gulping. "W-well..."

She sighed. "An Ancient asked them too."

"As in a real, living one? interrupted Genesis, his voice coated with disbelief.

"The last one, a true half-human half-ancient hybrid," answered Lucrecia.

Sephiroth turned his head, staring at a camera. "I see. I assume that the ancient is the odd presence I have felt for the last week in the building. Who I imagine is watching us right now if I had to guess."

Aerith gave a startled hiccup and nearly jumped from her seat. It was like he was looking right through the camera into her eyes, into her soul. He had _KNOWN_ she was here the entire time?! She felt shaken, her body trembling...

"Why?" asked Sephiroth, turning his head back to Lucrecia, "Even if this 'Ancient' asked them to, why would they listen?"

"She helped the director rescue his daughter and his thought-to-be dead partner," she answered.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, thinking for a moment. "Vincent Valentine?"

Lucrecia nodded. "Yes, he... was the one who tried to interfere on my behalf. He was locked in... a prison of sorts after being experimented on by Hojo. The Ancient pointed Veld in the right direction and he brought them back here."

"If I may...?" began Angeal.

Sephiroth titled his head slightly towards his friend in acknowledgement.

"How did the Ancient know where they were if both were presumed dead?" asked Angeal.

Aerith rubbed her head, ho boy. "Here we go... lets see if they have an imagination or not."

Tseng gave a brief chuckle at that, but remained silent.

"Do you know... what is said to be the abilities of an Ancient?" asked Lucrecia.

"If I recall, it's said that the knowledge and wisdom of the Ancients are manifested in Materia, tapping into this knowledge lets us wield the power of the planet as magic," said Angeal.

Lucrecia slowly shook her head. "What I'm referring to has nothing to do with materia and magic."

"Come now Angeal, surely you had to have read somewhat about them? The obvious answer is that they are said to be able to commune with the planet," said Genesis dryly.

Lucrecia nodded. "That is correct. The Ancient received a vision from the planet, of the future."

Genesis turned from smug to scoffing. "A vision of the future? Please."

Sephiroth held up a hand for silence. "Continue... mother."

Lucrecia froze at that word, a pure blissful expression on her face, before she recovered. "I... well... she... the Ancient, she knew things that she couldn't possibly have known of before, that were impossible to know. She wasn't even born at the time, and has had no access to it, yet, she knew about the Jenova Project. She also knew the location of Veld's daughter, of Vincent, and of my location of exile, and as you can see, her knowledge proved true."

"That's a tough pill to swallow," said Angeal, a look mixed between incredulous and awe on his face.

"I know," said Lucrecia, "I was in a bit of disbelief myself for a bit."

"And this, Ancient, wants us to know about the Jenova Project? About Project S? Why? What happened in this 'vision' she saw of the future that could possibly give a reason?" asked Sephiroth, his eyes narrowing.

Lucrecia nervously began to wring her hands together. "Its not just Project S... but... Project G as well..."

Genesis stiffened instantly, his eyes going wide. "G? As in Genesis? Me?"

"No," she said, her voice growing hoarse, "While your part of it, Project G stands for Project Gillian."

An utterly mortified expression crossed Angeal's face. "What?!"

A very dark look crossed Sephiroth's face. "Mother, from the beginning."

Lucrecia cleared her throat. "As I said, the purpose of the project of the Jenova project was to use her cells to create Human-Ancient hybrids. There were two different methods used, well, three if you count that Angeal and Genesis weren't... seeded with her cells the same way."

She turned to Sephiroth. "You were directly injected with her cells while in my womb, as such, you were the purest result of the project."

She turned to Angeal, who seemed very distraught at the moment. "Your mother was injected with Jenova cells, and you inherited those cells from her."

She turned to Genesis. "You were injected with Gillan's Jenova laced cells after you were born."

The room was utterly silent.

"She knew? She agreed to being some kind of science experiment, using _ME_ as an experiment before I was even born?" said Angeal with disbelief.

"As did you for me," said Sephiroth icily.

Lucrecia bowed her head. "I'm sorry... I..."

Sephiroth held up a hand. "Save your apologies."

Lucrecia looked crushed. "..."

Sephiroth slowly shook his head. "I wish to hear everything before I pass judgment."

Lucrecia nodded slowly. "Of course..."

"We were ' _made_ ' to be Ancient hybrids then?" asked Angeal bitterly.

Lucrecia looked uncomfortable. "T-thats what we thought, only... we were wrong, we were so wrong."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this all of the sudden?" muttered Angeal.

"Jenova... she wasn't an Ancient," said Lucrecia.

"What was she then?" demanded Genesis, "What the hell did you damn _scientists_ inject us with?!"

"Jenova... was the thing that killed the Ancients, an alien that crashed on the planet and came close to nearly wiping them off the face of the planet," explained Lucrecia.

Sephiroth slowly shook his head. "Hmph. Shinra wanted super soldiers, what better way then to use the thing that killed the Ancients. Somehow, I'm not as surprised as I should be."

"An alien?" said Genesis, "Are you screwing with us?"

Lucrecia shook her head. "I wish I was."

" _Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul, pride is lost, wings stripped away, the end is nigh_ ," said Genesis, "Were part 'alien'. Absolutely _marvelous_."

"More like were monsters," muttered Angeal darkly.

Aerith watched grimly through the monitors. Genesis looked like he was going to blow a gasket. Angeal was brooding and muttering to himself, and Sephiroth was rubbing his temples. Lucrecia couldn't bring herself to look at any of them, guilt on her face.

After a few minutes of silence, Sephiroth spoke up, "I'll ask again: For what reason did the Ancient want the truth revealed?"

Lucrecia hesitated for a moment before gulping and clearing her throat, wringing her hands the entire time. "Jenova... isn't as dead as we thought."

All three of them just stared at her.

"The reason the Ancient wanted you to know is because Jenova can... control the minds and bodies of those with her cells and...," began Lucrecia.

"WHAT?!" exploded Genesis.

Angeal looked ghastly. "The thing that killed the Ancients is still alive, and it can use us to finish what it started?!"

Sephiroth looked positively murderous. "..."

Lucrecia held her hands defensively. "Please! Let me finish! According to the Ancient, Jenova is alive, but inactive for the moment. When she is active, she can only control you if your will's and mind's are weakened or unbalanced!"

Sephiroth thought for a moment before scowling intently. "Like we would be if we had just discovered the horrific truth of our existences, I see the purpose of this ' _session_ ' now."

Sephiroth began to tap the table with his fingers, impatience, irritation, and aggravation clearly showing through his normally controlled face. "I want the Ancient brought to us, now. I will not accept no for an answer. I will tear apart the floor if I have to if she is not here within the next five minutes."

Aerith froze, losing the color in her face. Oh... oh dear... he was really mad. She didn't understand it, while she knew the truth would be very upsetting, he was actually angry over being told it? Why?

Lucrecia hesitated before leaving the room. "I... will ask for her to come..."

Tseng put a tense hand on Aerith's shoulder. "What do you wish to do?"

Aerith fidgeted. "I... well..."

She sighed. "I'm going to have to see them on a regular basis anyway when I become a SOLDIER, I might as well go, and I'd really rather not get you and the other Turks killed. He is mad, he's really mad. I can practically feel it from here. This is not a good time to make him more angry than he already is. I've seen what happens when he goes off the deep end, trust me on that. I'll talk to them, alone."

Tseng merely raised an eyebrow, shook his head, and made for the door. Aerith followed him to the conference room, meeting Lucrecia along the way. Aerith began feeling a bit of dread in her stomach. She had to to remind herself that she was actually a fully grown woman trapped in her younger body and was not actually a timid fourteen year old girl. This was a situation she could handle, she was going to find a way to calmly pacify them. Sephiroth _WASN_ 'T going to drive Masamune through her back this time around...

She hoped...

 _*gulp*_

Aerith walked up to the conference room door, pausing briefly. She could feel them, their presences pulsating through the door. It wasn't doing her confidence a whole lot of good to feel the collective sense of anger, hate, and betrayal emanating from the trio. Not that they didn't have the right to feel those very emotions. It was... well... now that she thought about it, it was a _GOOD_ sign that Lucrecia was still alive, and the three of them hadn't already burned down the building and killed everyone in it, all things considered. She knew what Sephiroth was capable of, and by extension, the other two were also capable of monstrous destruction as well...

Or so she thought...

Until she walked into the room and closed the door behind her. Her eyes turned on upon them, and she threw away her thoughts of them committing monstrous act. To her, they just looked so hurt, frustrated, and lost, like the entire world had betrayed and stabbed them in the back. It made her heart ache.

The three of them stared at her silently for a moment.

Genesis broke it with a snort. "The Ancient is a teenage girl of all things? Pathetic..."

Aerith huffed, losing her pity for that one rather quickly. "Excuse me? Is there a problem with that?"

Angeal shot Genesis a look before muttering, "Forgive him, he's not in a good mood, none of us are."

They grew quiet as Sephiroth slowly rose to his feet and started walking towards Aerith. She stared at him, willing herself to remain calm with everything she had. He stopped in front of her and looked her dead in the eye.

Sephiroth's voice was ice cold. "Your purpose was to tell us the truth _only_ to prevent a catastrophe."

It was more a statement than a question, but... there was something else lurking in his words. _Only_? The way he had said it, with such venom. Why? She thought back to when he had understood why they were being told the truth...

Oh... she understood all of the sudden, and it made her heart ache at the accusatory thought that had to be running through his head.

"I wanted you three told the truth to avert a catastrophe, yes, but, that's not the only reason. It's a truth you should have been told from the beginning, not just because the truth was forced to be revealed," she said sadly, "I'm not trying to _use_ you, use any of you. If I had known and been in a position to tell you earlier, I would have. I'm sorry..."

And it was the goddess damn truth too. If she had known in the original timeline, she would have wanted to give them the truth and closure too. Even without knowing the madness that was going to happen. Just... it all could have been prevented if someone had just told them the truth!

Sephiroth held her gaze intently. She felt the beginnings of shiver start in her spine. It was like when he looked _through_ the monitors all over again, it was like he was looking right into her soul with those piercing green catlike eyes of his, as if he had the ability to sense and rip a lie right out of her. She crushed the urge to shiver, determined to show no fear, only truth.

Finally, his eyes and face softened and he spoke two words she had never heard him say nor ever expected him to say, "Thank you."

He turned back around, and made to retake his seat. Aerith watched the graceful motions, his hair sweeping behind him as if blown by the wind. Her heart skipped a beat at that.

"So, we know the truth, that we were all experimented on without our consent, two before we were even born, most likely with Shinra's approval. What happens now?" said Angeal hoarsely.

"Yes, what happens now, and what happened before?" demanded Genesis, "The _scientist_ said you saw a vision of the future?"

"That scientist is your friend's mother! Show a little respect," she chided.

"I haven't decided if I accept her in that role or not as of the moment," said Sephiroth calmly.

Aerith turned a sad gaze on him. "You know she's sorry."

"Being sorry does not undo what was done nor make up for years spent away," said Sephiroth, his voice thin.

"I have no right to ask it of you, but please, give her a chance, she's suffered too," said Aerith quietly.

Sephiroth merely made a motion with his hands. "I belive Genesis asked you a question. What happened to us in the future?"

She closed her eyes, her voice growing pained. "Do you truly wish to know?"

"No more lies, no more secrecy," warned Sephiroth.

"I'll... go in order then," she whispered.

She turned to Genesis. "Because of the way you were given Jenova's cells, your body will begin to degrade, if it hasn't already."

Genesis coughed. "What?!"

"Slowly losing your strength, mental instability, your wounds wont heal, your hair will eventually turn gray. In less than a year, you'd get injured in a training accident. When your wound never healed, you went to Hollander, who fed you half-truths and lies, which led to you abandoning Shinra and turning against the company. You... used Jenova's powers to do unspeakable things to those who trusted you," she said, not willing to go into detail.

She had gleaned enough partial memories to understand that telling him about him creating copies was a bad idea.

She turned to Angeal and spoke coldly, "You followed him eventually, and came to believe you were a monster, you abandoned your honor and pride and forced Zack to kill you."

Angeal looked like he had been struck, _hard_ , across his face. "I... what... I would _never_ force Zack to do such a thing!"

Aerith narrowed her eyes, she remembered the pain Zack had felt, remembered how much it hurt her to see him like that, it tore at her, fed her anger and bled into her words, "You did, and you have no idea how much it would _hurt_ him. If you ever hurt him like that, I _will_ kill you myself."

The words felt so alien coming out of her mouth, but she didn't take them back. She... the memories were just... it hurt so much. She didn't want the pain of the original timeline to happen again, to _EVER_ happen again in any way shape or form.

"Not if I do it first," said Sephiroth icily, a hard look in his eyes as he glared full force at Angeal, "That act is of a coward, even if you haven't done it _yet_ , I will reprimand you for it now."

Angeal bowed his head, saying nothing. "..."

"And me?" asked Sephiroth, turning back to Aerith.

"After Angeal dies, and Genesis is presumed dead from a battle with Zack, you are eventually sent on a mission to Nibelheim. There, Hojo planted half-truths and lies about you in the Shinra Mansion's basement. Coupled with discovering some of Hojo's experiments in the reactor, questioning your origin, and your proximity to Jenova, you go insane and she influences you. You destroy Nibelheim, and go on to try and destroy the world," she answered, her voice heavy as memories of her journey with AVALANCHE filled her mind.

She turned to Genesis. "The Goddess had healed you of your degradation and held you back as a last resort. At the final battle, after everyone else had died, she sent you to fight him. He killed you, and that was the end of the vision. There was no one left to stop him afterwards."

"So, in the end, you could say I became the hero after all, blessed by the goddess, only to fail," said Genesis bitterly.

He slowly shook his head. "This degradation you speak of must be affecting me already if I'm insane enough to believe all of this."

Sephiroth stared into Aerith's eyes again before speaking. "She's telling the truth in what she believes happened."

Goddess... she just wished he would _STOP_ staring into her eyes, her soul, like that.

Sephiroth sighed and massaged his forehead. "So that was my fate. To become a mindless puppet."

Puppet...

Oh...

He had no idea the weight of that word, how he and Jenova had used it against Cloud. Yet... it was oddly a truthful statement.

"What of you?" asked Sephiroth.

Aerith hesitated. "You..."

She sighed. "You killed me."

Sephiroth stared at her quietly for a time before speaking, "It takes a certain kind of character to be willing to help someone who would come to murder you not only to try to prevent the destruction of the world, but to help that person as well."

She smiled sadly. "I don't hold it against _you_."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"Against the monster you became? Against Jenova? Yes. But not you, your not him, your not the One-Winged Angel," she said with conviction, forcefully confirming it in her mind.

Sephiroth gave her a puzzled look. "That... is a strange tittle."

Oh, right...

"Umm... I might have forgotten to mention that you all will most likely grow a single wing each at some point. Please don't freak out when that happens," she explained.

There was a collective cough and exclamations of 'what?!'

Sephiroth sighed again before asking, "What happens now then? Lucrecia... my mother... said Jenova was not active as of the moment. That implies she eventually will be. Destroying her should be our highest priority."

"I don't really know what awakened Jenova to begin with, but, it might have been your proximity, or might have been something Hojo did, I don't really know," she said, "But yes, counteracting, finding, and destroying Jenova is my ultimate goal. Hojo is the only one who knows where she is, so we need..."

"To kill him. _Slowly_ ," said Sephiroth, his voice holding pure and utter malice.

"Hollander too," added in Genesis with equal deadliness.

"I'll be... discussing this with my own mother after this," muttered Angeal.

"Uh... we need Hojo to find Jenova!" said Aerith.

"Then I will torture the information out of him, but he is _not_ living through the end of this day," said Sephiroth, rising to his feet.

"Angeal, Genesis, with me," ordered Sephiroth.

"W-wait!" tried Aerith.

They walked past her and left the room without another word.

Ut oh... situation _NOT_ defused, this could get ugly...

Veld, Vincent, and Lucrecia walked into the room, she sighted Tseng trailing down the hollway after the trio, keeping a safe distance.

Veld glanced at Vincent. "Not interested in joining in?"

Vincent shook his head. "Hojo harmed them more than he harmed me. They deserve it."

They all sat at the table and waited in silence as time passed. Aerith half expected explosions and gunfire to ring through the building... but... nothing happened.

 _Ring Ring._

Veld flipped open his phone and listened for a moment before his face contorted and he exclaimed. "What do you mean Hojo's _MISSING_?!"

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes** :_

 _Dun dun dun, best way to end the chapter, ever! Can't have everything go Aerith's way, can we?_

 _The chapter title is a two-fold meaning:_

 _A Crescent is like a sickle, sharp. This, a sharp and painful truth._

 _A Crescent is also like a half moon, incomplete. Based on Aerith lying about Visions VS Time Travel._

 _Thought I'd try to be creative._

* * *

 _ **Review Responses** :_

 _Lady Yomi : I appreciate any reviews, and yes, Lucrecia is back too. Though, she is justifiably feeling guilty as hell. Aerith... is going to slowly change from the way people remember her. Having existed through and seen the end of the world can change a person and harden them. Old Aerith sure as hell wouldn't make a death threat. It might be sad at times, but, she'll grow stronger for it._

 _Anonymous : JINXED! Hojo is what goes wrong!_


	5. Echoes

_**A Flower's Touch - Chapter 5 - Echoes**_

* * *

Aerith sat on her bed, wringing her hands and biting her lips nervously. As much as she had wanted Hojo alive so they could use him to find Jenova, she'd far rather he be dead then missing and unrestricted on the loose. While Shinra gave Hojo far to much leeway in the atrocities he committed behind closed doors, there were still limits and restrictions. Out there on his own? None. Not a single thing holding him back, except maybe lack of equipment. It sent shivers down her spine at the thought of that man's mad ambitions being unrestrained.

The guard outside her door had doubled to four Turks, and a group of high tier 2nd and low tier 1st Class Soldiers that were only told she was a special VIP. Others Turks, not to mention the Trio, were scouring every inch of the building and Midgar for any sign of Hojjo. Tseng and Veld were going through security camera footage. Lucrecia and Vincent, to her knowledge, were currently stationed in the Science Department interrogating and interviewing Hojo's personnel. Since Hojo had 'vacated' the position and Genesis had killed Hollander, Veld had suggested that Lucrecia make herself comfortable and start taking over. The woman had been... hesitant... but at Sephiroth's word that he would trust her over Hojo or anyone formerly working with him with his SOLDIERs, she had relented.

Aerith had to wait for the all clear before she was allowed to leave the room for one reason: Hojo's disappearance had 'coincidentally' happened when the Trio had been informed of the truth. Which meant 'somehow' Hojo knew about it, which meant he also knew about her. How? Even the Turks didn't have a clue, and that really riled Veld and Tseng's feathers. She didn't think she had to worry about Hojo trying to kidnap or kill her, he he had to worry about fleeing rather than experimenting at the moment, but, the Turks were taking no chances.

Aerith sighed. The ripple effect was already happening. Changes, drastic changes, were going to start occurring. It still remained to be seen what the Trio did after Hojo was or was not found. She hoped and prayed they would calm down, but, if Hojo got away, she knew they would be furious. Heck, she should be furious, and slightly terrified, of it too. Lucrecia taking over in-place of Hojo would hopefully correct the morals, or rather the lack of them, the science department had. Vincent would most likely stay at her side, maybe rejoin the Turks, who knows.

She smiled at a thought. She had already hinted at Reeve's intelligence to the Turks, but she'd try to make a point to keep nudging them about him, trying to get him more motivation, influence, and eventual power. He was the key to eventually replacing Mako Reactors with methods that wouldn't bleed the planet dry. The sooner that process started the better.

She laid back on her bed, blowing a bit of her hair out of her face. It was... difficult to try and figure out how things might change. AVALANCHE was not happening, Veld had hinted at keeping his daughter 'close', which probably meant Felicia was going to be a Turk. Like father like daughter it seems...

She hesitated at the thought of Felicia and fished the pieces of the Zirconiade materia out of her pocket, fiddling with them. They spoke quietly with an old, broken, unfinished voice. She considered it lucky Veld had allowed her to keep a hold of them. Out of sight out of mind out of a potential desire to be used. If the President or Hojo or someone like them didn't know they existed, no one would think to use them for power. She would only allow these to remain on her person... though... she knew they couldn't stay in her pocket forever. They could be easily stolen or lost on accident. This required a more... secure location... like inside of her body.

Aerith held the pieces to her lips and whispered. "Sleep World Burner, sleep."

The old voice grew quieter and quieter until it faded and the light in the materia shards dimmed and went to sleep. She was not interested in suffering the same fate Felicia originally had, she would not bleed out her lifeforce in exchange for power. Zirconiade would become dormant, and that was that. Aerith sighed and lifted up her shirt, slowly pressing the shards against her stomach. They melded into her body, hidden safely away...

She frowned, briefly withdrawing a single shard back out of her body, toying with it. It would remain hidden safely away... unless she needed it's power...

The thought made her queasy, bleeding her lifeforce dry for a bit of power. But... mere fragments of the World Burner had made Felicia into an incredibly powerful warrior. What could it do to her, she wondered, when she became enhanced? What about if she ever got the remaining shards? The thought of a SOLDIER being further enhanced by scraps of the World Burner's power, or even all of it, utterly terrified her, even if that SOLDIER was herself. She shakily re-absorbed the sleeping shard into herself, not liking where her thoughts were turning.

She sighed and got up from her bed, moving to the floor and kneeling to pray. Not to commune with the planet, no, she did it to simply try and calm her nerves. Besides... she had done some thinking. The planet shouldn't actually be able to reach her here under normal conditions, especially with the clarity it had done so with before. It had only ever spoken to her near her flowers, this place was dead to the planet. To have reached her hear meant it most likely had burned energy to do so.

 _"Energy you shouldn't have been wasting_!" She scolded.

Thankfully, she heard nothing in reply. Hopefully the planet got the hint. While she heavily appreciated it's advice, it could not afford to waste energy. She had... to be honest... very little clue how the planet functioned without it's avatar, it's goddess. Without Minerva to help run things in the lifestream, how much more effort and energy was needed? It worried her, especially the part where it would take thousands of years to make a new goddess, how much energy was _THAT_ going to take out of the planet over time.

Aerith fidgeted and sighed, unable to make herself concentrate and empty her mind enough to pray. "I... really need to relax..."

Even as she said this, she was pulling at her hair. She winced briefly, but acknowledged her first sensation of physical pain since her rebirth through time. It was... a reminder of just how alive she actually was. She wasn't a corporeal ghost in the lifestream... she had a real second chance at life...

Everyone did.

Well... except Minerva, unless making a new goddess revived the old, but she wouldn't hold her breath in finding out. She knew Mako enhancements extended the durability and life of the body, but she doubted she'd still be around in a few thousand years, winning this conflict or not. She took a shaky breath and rose to her feet, pacing absentmindedly for awhile, nerves feeling fried.

 _Knock Knock._

Aerith blinked a few times, coming out of her brooding pacing. "Come in."

Cissnei entered the room and nodded at her. "Lieutenant Hewely will be coming to retrieve you to take you to Doctor Crescent. We'll be meeting them halfway and escorting you there."

Aerith nodded. "Okay."

She took in a deep breath and let it out, it was time to become a SOLDIER, she had wasted no time in requesting this happened as soon as possible. She followed behind Cissnei out into the hall. The SOLDIERs and Turks surrounded her, keeping her protectively in the middle of the group, and started down the hall.

The group paused a bit from the elevator as it dinged and opened, Cissnei strode forward and made an acknowledgement, "Lieutenant Hewely."

"Agent Shuriken," came the return acknowledgement.

The group parted a little to let Aerith step forward... only to stop as her eyes fell on who stood next to Angeal...

"Woaaaah Angeal, you didn't tell me the Ancient lady was super cute!" said Zack Fair, shooting Aerith his signature smile.

Aerith made a strangled choking sound in her throat.

Zack's smile turned into a concerned look. "You okay Miss Ancient Lady?"

To many... to many memories... of her last life... of time spent with Zack in the lifestream... of his death... she couldn't...

"Zack...," she choked.

Zack blinked a few times, exchanging a concerned look with Angeal before returning to her. "Have we met? You look like you've seen a ghost."

She couldn't take it, she gave a sob, "I'm so sorry Zack," before she turned and bolted back for her room, tears streaming down her face, ignoring the shouts of the Turks and the SOLDIERs.

She threw herself on her bed and cried into her pillow. It hurt... it hurt so much to see him... it hurt so much to see him not knowing her... all those memories lost... she couldn't... she just couldn't face him...

 _Knock Knock_

Aerith didn't acknowledge it, she couldn't stop sobbing enough to get up and go to the door. It opened anyway, followed by the heavy, but still gentle footfall she recognized as Angeal. He sat down next to her on the bed and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I never did ask about Zack in your visions of the future," murmured Angeal before continuing with a bit of hesitation "I... take it what happened to him wasn't good."

"No...," she croaked.

"I see," murmured Angeal with regret, "But... that reaction seemed... rather strong..."

She sniffled. "He... was my first love..."

"Ah," said Angeal, a curious tone in his voice, "But to have that reaction from a _vision_?"

That tone put her already frayed nerves on fire. Stupid stupid stupid! Her actions let him know something was off...

She forced herself to shakily sit up and turn her tear stained face to him, giving a truth in a lie, "When I had them... it was like I lived through them..."

Angeal blinked a few times, seeming unsettled, "Oh..."

She sniffled. "He was... so sweet, so charming... so protective... he helped build me a flower wagon to sell the flowers I grew... he bought me a ribbon... one of those special accessory ones..."

Both of Angeal's eyebrows raised. "Those... are expensive and rare... even I don't have one."

He made a soft smile. "Good pup."

They both shared a pained laugh.

Angeal closed his eyes for a moment. "How... did he die Aerith? Sephiroth?"

Aerith shook her head, a choking noise escaping her throat. "He... he was... captured by Hojo..."

Angeal went completely rigged, a mortified look on his face. "..."

"He and... a friend... were experimented on for five years when Sephiroth had first appeared to be beaten after he went mad... Hojo... was trying to... make new Sephiroths out of them... turn them into clones...," she forced out painfully.

"So he died in Hojo's labs?" Angeal asked, his own voice choking now.

"No... he escaped with his friend, who was comatose from Mako Poisoning. He was trying to... to... get back to me..., but he was stopped by the Shinra Army... he could have gotten away... but... that would have forced him to leave his friend behind," she struggled out.

"Embrace your dreams, and whatever happens, protect your honor as SOLDIER," she spoke out weakly, "It... was one of the last things he said before he... he... was gunned down... he took out almost the entire army..."

Angeal bowed his head. "I see..."

There was heavy, brooding silence in the room for a few minutes.

Angeal sighed heavily and rose to his feet. "Come, let's get you to Doctor Crescent."

Aerith nodded and followed Angeal out of the room.

"So... would you say I became a hero?" came a voice behind them.

Aerith went rigged, unable to bring herself to turn around. That voice... those words... they had been his final ones... oh goddess...

Angeal cleared his throat and turned to his apprentice. "Zackery Fair... eavesdropping is not an admirable trait."

"Neither is keeping something like that from me," countered Zack, "Angeal... you've been a mess all day after you got back from your meeting while we were tearing through the city on a wild goose chase. If she told you whatever happened to you with her future vision voodoo stuff, don't I deserve to know as well?"

Before Angeal could reply, Aerith choked out a weak, "Yes..."

She heard Zack walk forward and flinched when he put a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks... and Miss Aerith... as much as I'd like to take a cute girl like you on a date, I ain't gonna hurt you like that. I'd still like to be friends, but, when your ready, and not when that future vision voodoo stuff hurts so much."

With that, Zack walked past her and out of sight down the hall.

"He's... a good pup," said Angeal admiringly.

"He is," echoed Aerith weakly, a soft smile on her lips, "Future voodoo stuff? Really Zack?"

She giggled a little. "New vocabulary, but, he never really changes."

Angeal chuckled. "No, I suppose not, and to still hold onto his dreams and honor five years after having Hojo's hands on him... he's was a stronger man than I was in your visions... and probably than I am now."

Aerith closed her eyes and nodded. "He was. To be honest, there was only one man who you could argue ended up stronger in character then him by the end."

"Who?" asked Angeal, curious.

"My second love, the friend he died saving," she whispered, her voice haunted, before she started down the hall.

They rejoined the main group, which lacked Zack, and made for the Science Department. She was extremely hesitant to walk into that place willingly, at least until she saw the mess it was in. Turks and scientists were scrambling to get everything under control and in order. Experiments were being moved and disposed of, cleaning out Hojo's taint from this place. It would be reborn, hopefully using science to better humanity as it should have instead of descending it into depravity and madness.

Vincent and Lucrecia were waiting in a bare white room that had nothing but a table with straps on it and a moveable cart with supplies on it. Aerith walked in alone, her escort dispersing, and tensed a bit... she had been in this very room as a child... she and her real mom... she could remember mom being strapped down and... and...

She shook her head violently and banished the memory before approaching the two.

Lucrecia gave her nod. "Ancient."

"I have a name you know," said Aerith.

Lucrecia gave her a weak smile. "I haven't earned the right to say it yet, not after you gave me this second chance."

"Oh dilly dally," she answered, giving the woman a smile, "Aerith is fine."

Lucrecia nodded. "Very well... Aerith."

She giggled. "See? Was that so hard?"

Lucrecia smiled at her. "Shall we?"

Aerith took a deep breath and moved to the table, tensing a bit, but forcing herself to lay down. "Do... we have to use the straps?"

Lucrecia sighed. "I'm sorry, but, from what I've read of Hojo's processes, the Mako injection process can have some... drastic side effects. I'm not going to pretend to know how the Mako will work on an Ancient, nor how it will work on a female, especially without Jenova Cells being used as a stabilizing agent."

Aerith gave her a thin look. "There's nothing 'stabilizing' about Jenova and how her cells helped bind Mako to the body. It's an aberration of nature, an unnatural fusion."

Lucrecia winced. "Sorry..."

Aerith shook her head. "No, it's... fine. To be frank, I'm not sure what I'm doing is much better. The process will be a bit more... harmonious... with my cells instead of Jenova's, but Mako isn't supposed to be put into a body like this to begin with, period. Even if the planet gave me it's blessing, this... is still a sin."

She closed her eyes painfully. "But a necessary one... I can't take the chance of things going wrong if I remain weak..."

Lucrecia nodded, beginning to strap Aerith down with the restraints. "I understand."

"First... I would like to take a pre-enhanced blood and tissue sample to use as a culture if need be, just incase your enhanced cells cant be used in the process," explained Lucrecia.

Aerith nodded and closed her eyes, breathing shakily. "Do... what you have to do."

The needles... the poking... the prodding... the brief sharp pains... it all echoed in her memories as Lucrecia went about her work. At least this time... there was a bit of gentleness about it all. Lucrecia was no Hojo, she gave Aerith warnings and talked quietly and gently, distracting her from her uncomfortableness, as a real good doctor should. It made the process a little bit more bearable.

Lucrecia held up a glowing vial, Aerith could feel the presence of the planet within it. "Before we begin, there are risks that we must go over."

"Mako poisoning," Aerith murmured, "Being the worst possible outcome, leading to coma and death."

Lucrecia nodded. "Yes, but, the little we inject usually doesn't result in that, thankfully."

"No, I suppose not. Dunking in mako for years is generally what does," she murmured.

Lucrecia winced. "Hojo?"

Aerith nodded, but did not elaborate.

Lucrecia cleared her throat. "Most SOLDIERs survive the process, but, there is a barrage of side effects during, and shortly after, that they have to suffer through. Extreme hallucinations, incoherent thoughts and speech, mental instability, loss of control, muscle spasms, sometimes extreme violence to self and others, and apparently one hell of a headache afterwords that beats any alchohol based hangover, or so the SOLDIERs say. Mutations are very rare, but, I won't lie to you and hide the possibility. It's... not pretty when it happens from what I've read and the pictures I've seen."

Aerith nodded again, offering a weak smile. "I understand."

Aerith knew a bit more than Lucrecia thought. The hallucinations weren't exactly what Shinra thought they were. Mako was the processed, liquid form of the lifestream. In it was carried the fragments of the souls of the departed. Once injected, memories, feelings, experiences, all of it would hit a SOLDIER. Of course, it wasn't just human souls, but animal, monster, and plants as well. Thus the need for a strong will. Going through so many different lives and existences required someone strong enough to keep a hold of who they were as a person.

"Are you ready?" asked Lucrecia.

Aerith nodded a final time. "Yes. Do it."

Lucrecia motioned Vincent over. "Hold her arm steady please."

Vincent walked over and did so, peering down at Aerith with glowing gold eyes. "The planet will not forsake its Fail-Safe, but I doubt the experience will be pleasant."

"Thanks for the 'good' bedside manner Chaos," muttered Aerith.

Lucrecia started briefly, shooting Vincent-Chaos a questioning look.

The demon raised an eyebrow. "I doubt these restraints will hold back the incoherent wrath of an Ancient, Vincent agrees I should be in control."

So different... back in the original timeline, Vincent and Chaos had never really gotten along. Vincent had always struggled to suppress the WEAPON, causing a constant war and friction between the two. Chaos was erratic during the time, spurned on by the Calamity's presence. Chaos... had never acted nor spoken as clearly and controlled as he was now. Apparently the activation of the Fail-Safe was impact-full on the WEAPON. It was... good... to see the two of them working together, she had only really seen it before in the final battle against Deepground and Omega...

Wait...

 _ **DEEPGROUND** **!**_

Oh goddess, she had completely forgotten to mention that!

 _Inject_

Aerith gave a startled cry as Lucrecia injected the mako into her arm and Chaos gripped her arms tightly. "Steady child."

Aerith tried to call out, to tell them to wait, Deepground was more important, it had to be handled _NOW,_ before it could get out of control, before poor Shelke was abducted and experimented on! Unfortunately, a burning sensation shot through her arms, making a pained cry rip out of her instead. She began to shiver, sweat pouring down her forehead.

"First injection is in," murmured Lucrecia, "Second will be dispensed in thirty seconds. Keep calm and breath Aerith."

Her body began to tremble and spasm as Lucrecia injected the second vial into her. "Third and final dosage will be in three minutes once the tremors subside."

Aerith convulsed, moaning. "S-sh...el...ke..."

Her vision began to blur, shadows dancing across the room. Sensations and sounds entered her mind: the sound of wind blowing across an open field of grass, the creaking of trees, the howling of wolves, the beating of a dragons wing. Laughter in a pub... screams of agony on a battlefield... the wailing of a newborn child... the too and fro of the waves on the beach of an ocean...

She let loose a blood curdling scream as she felt another burning sensation enter her arm, she heard a faint voice, "Thir...sage...applied...er...steady...aos..."

Images flew through her mind at speeds she couldn't follow. It was... oh goddess... it wasn't supposed to be like this! This wasn't like bathing in the current of the lifestream! It was a chaotic jumbled mess... unnatural... overwhelming... the souls were screaming... it wasn't... it wasn't...

Her head began spinning, the room distorting... someone was... there... glasses... ponytail... that face... Hojo...

"HOJO!" she screamed in fear, aiming a hand at the apparition.

Energy burst from her hands at the madman, only for someone to tackle him out of the way at the last second. NO! NO! She didn't want to be here! She didn't want to be here! No more needles, no more poking, no more experiments! No no no no no!

"LET ME GO!" she screamed, thrashing, hearing the snaps of restraints on the table.

A blurry form was at her side, powerful hands keeping her pressed down. "Cal...ild...afe...top!"

She didn't understand, couldn't... couldn't think... had to... had to get... away...

She curled a fist, a chilly aura surrounding her hand, before an ice spike formed in her palm and she drove it into the creature towering over her. There was a sharp intake of pain before the hands shifted and pinned down her wrists instead of her arms. She began to struggle and wail uncontrollably. Hojo had her! He was going to experiment on her again! What if he... oh goddess, what if he tried breeding her again like he had tried to do with her and Nanaki?

No no no no...

A heavy, powerful, orange glow of a limit break began to surround her, energy cackling around her... shaking the table... and the entire building itself from what it felt like...

"She'll kill us both!" a voice screamed.

She... she... had to get away... HAD TO GET AWAY HAD TO HAD TO HAD TO HAD...

 **PEACE CHILD**

Aerith gave a startled cry, "P-planet?!"

 **PEACE**

She gave a terrified sob. "Scared... so scared..."

 **SLEEP**

She began to feel fuzzy. "S...sle...eep..."

Aerith's body began to slowly relax, the orange glow faded, and her head tilted to the side. "C-cloud... Zack... I'm... so... sorry..."

* * *

 _Aerith looked up at a strange sound, blinking rapidly. Where was she... oh..._

 _She was upon the alter in the Forgotten Capital, praying for Holy... that's right... she had to stop Sephiroth... wait... was that Cloud?_

 _He was standing over her, Buster Sword held up high._

 _"CLOUD STOP!" a voice screamed._

 _Only... he didn't stop..._

 _Aerith screamed as the blade tore into her, knocking her to the floor and spilling her blood across the alter._

 _A deep chuckle emanated from above as Sephiroth descended from the sky and landed next to horrified Cloud, leaning to his ear to whisper, "You have done well my Puppet."_

 _Aerith let out a pained sob, looking up at her friend. "C-cloud..."_

 _"Finish the rest so we may partake in our Reunion," purred Sephiroth._

 _Broken by his sin, eyes empty, Cloud turned towards the others, blade clenched tightly in hand. Tifa, Zack, Cissnei, Vincent, and Tseng, his single arm already cocking his gun, readied themselves. Aerith watched, agonized, as Cloud and Sephiroth murdered her friends before returning to the alter. Sephiroth knelt next to her, pulling the Holy Materia out of her ribbon. He admired the jewel for a moment before crushing it in his hand, dust falling out of his palm. Aerith let loose a pained wail at the horrifying sight.  
_

 _"I give you despair," he whispered to her, leaning down to give a kiss tasting of death..._

* * *

No... no... that... wasn't what... happened... what was... going on...?

"Shh, beloved daughter, shhh," murmured a familiar voice.

Who... was that...?

* * *

 _Aeirth and Sephiroth stood side by side in the depths of the Northern Crater, bladed staff and Masamune angled together, pointing the weapons at Angeal Hewely, who had the monstrous form of Jenova floating behind him.  
_

 _"Mother gave you your chance Sephiroth, you disappointed her, why do you not honor your family? Do you want to suffer Genesis's, suffer Zack's fate? If it's about the Ancient, Mother would let you keep her," scolded Angeal._

 _Sephiroth tensed. "Honor? You DARE speak to me of honor Angeal? After what you've done? Where is your pride, SOLDIER?"_

 _Angeal cocked his head. "Pride? I have great pride."_

 _He threw back his head and laughed. "The pride of being Mother's Chosen One."_

 _He drew his Buster Sword and angled it towards them. "Shinra and SOLDIER was a lie my brother, only Mother hold's the truth. Accept it."  
_

 _Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. "Truth is what we make of the facts and situations we are given. And right now, the truth I accept is that you are no brother of mine, only a twisted mockery of the great man you used to be. Aerith, handle Jenova, I will deal with Hewely's... disciplining..."_

 _Aerith nodded and glared full force at the Calamity. "You won't win Jenova! Not this time!"_

 _With that, the battle was joined, Aerith pushing herself off the ground and leaping at the Calamity, bladed staff held high in the air shining with energy..._

* * *

Angeal... had delved into... madness... instead of... Sephiroth...? She... was fighting... Jenova... head on...? But... who... won...?

"Peace, my beloved daughter, peace," whispered a familiar voice.

M...mom?

* * *

 _Genesis, Angeal, and Aerith sat down together ontop of the Junon Mako Cannon, minds and hearts heavy._

 _"Do you think... Seph found peace in the end?" asked Angeal._

 _Aerith shrugged sadly. "I... don't know. I'd like to think so, but..."_

 _Genesis took a bite of a Banora apple. "A Hero at the end, how I wanted to take that tittle from him... but... as he showed me, that tittle must be earned."_

 _He lowered the apple. "To stand in the face of that horrific truth, to finally buck Jenova's control, to take Jenova down with him..."_

 _He sighed. "My friend, the fates are cruel."_

 _Aerith sniffled. "He struggled, he fought so hard, even after what Jenova forced him to do... he didn't deserve that fate. Cruel indeed... but... it's over... I guess."_

 _Genesis nodded. "I suppose it is."_

 _There was a soft patter of feet as Zack and Cloud joined them. "Can we get in on this pity party too?"_

 _Aerith shot him a look. "Zack!"_

 _He made a sad face. "Ciss is gone too, and don't even get me started on Tifa."_

 _Cloud choked a little._

 _Aerith's face softened. "I... know... we all lost someone we loved..."_

 _She looked up into the sky, tears streaming down her face. "Sephiroth... please be at peace..."_

* * *

Loved...? She... lost someone...? She couldn't... mean Sephiroth... could she...? Mom... what was... this...?

"What can be, what may be...," came the familiar voice.

Wait... that voice... it wasn't...

* * *

 _Aerith smiled cruelly at Sephiroth who laid bloody and battered at her feet. "Some Chosen One you turned out to be. Mother? Why did you even want this... failure... kept around? Even Cloud fought harder than he did. Or were you to weak to fight against your dear beloved? Is that it, Seph? You weakling!"_

 _Jenova floated past her, staring down, almost sadly, at Sephiroth. "He had such potential. It's a shame I suppose."_

 _"Mother? May I?" Aerith begged._

 _Jenova turned her back on Sephiroth. "Do it. Then we shall feed on this planet and ride its corpse through the stars to the next."_

 _Aerith twirled her bladed staff high into the air, a mad glint on her face. "Goodbye, Seph."_

 _Sephiroth weakly looked up at her. "A-aeirth... fight it... please... this isn't... you..."_

 _Aerith gave a laugh and brought the bladed staff down, severing Sephiroth's head from his shoulders. In her eyes glowed an unnatural green glow, the slits of her eyes narrow like a cats..._

* * *

No... NO... she... no... why...? Impossible... she and Jenova... it was... impossible!

"There are many possible futures and path's my beloved daughter, some, are far more grim than others," came a familiar voice, "Though how she could have possibly tainted you with my purity running through your veins is a troubling thought."

M... Minerva...?

* * *

 _Aerith and Zack laid against one another on the couch of their apartment, watching their twin boys toss little blocks at eachother in their playpen._

 _"Heeey! Gen and Geal, don't be to rough!" called over Zack._

 _Aerith giggled. "If your worried, go stop them."_

 _Zack rolled his eyes. "As if. I could hardly stop the older pair from going at it, this pair would keeeeeel me!"_

 _Aerith's giggles faded. "Zack... I... never did question why..."_

 _Zack's face softened. "It's... the least I could do, to carry on their memory, their honor and pride."_

 _Zack laughed and shook his head. "What am I doing? Spikey's gonna come out of the Lifestream and scold me again if I keep this up."_

 _She smiled. "Him or Angeal."_

 _Zack rolled his eyes. "I don't know which of them would be worse. To be honest, I'd rather Sephiroth somehow come back to life from the Lifestream than deal with either of their nipping again."_

 _Aerith tensed at his words before relaxing. "That won't happen Zack, I made sure of it."_

 _Zack gave her a questioning look, but Aerith merely shook her head and pulled him closer, giving him a deep passionate kiss._

* * *

Her... and Zack... children... she wanted... to see... their faces... hold them... her children...

"It is my own hopes and prayers that you receive an ending similar to this, my beloved daughter," came a familiar voice.

M... Minerva? But... she died...

* * *

 _Aerith and Cloud walked silently through the ruins of Midgar, memories of the day the world stood still plaguing them. Their friends... so many people... the cost had been high, to high..._

 _"Was this how it was supposed to be?" questioned Cloud sullenly._

 _Aerith sighed. "The planet still stands, the last traces of Jenova are gone from the lifestream, and Sephiroth is dead. It's... not a perfect ending, but... at least it's over..."_

 _A black feather drifted out of the sky, causing them to pause and stare at it in a stupor. A shadow passed over them, causing them to look up, startled, as a figure landed on debris a ways infront of them._

 _"Impossible...," whispered Aerith._

 _Cloud tensed and drew First Tsurugi off his back. "Impossible! We JUST killed him!"_

 _Sephiroth, his one wing extending behind his back, chuckled deeply and stepped off the ruin, slowly drawing Masamune . "Did you, my puppet?"_

 _Aerith was mortified. How could he be back? The Planet had destroyed his soul. On top of that, there were no remnants... no Geostigma... no Jenova left for him to reform from. Reunion was impossible. How... just... how?_

 _Aerith clenched her fists and reached behind her, pulling the Buster Sword off her back, and whispering a desperate prayer, "Zack... Angeal... please give me strength!"_

 _"Sephiroth!" shouted Cloud, "What do you want? Why wont you leave us alone?"_

 _Sepiroth smiled cruelly at him. "What I want, Cloud, is..."_

 _"Let me guess," spat out Aerith, "To sail the darkness of the cosmos with this planet as your vessel, just as your mother did long ago."_

 _Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, seeming greatly amused. "No, little Ancient, not this time."_

 _Aerith blinked a few times. This time?_

 _"What I want, Cloud, is to watch you break and kneel before me, begging for forgiveness," said Sephiroth, tightening his grip, before turning to Aerith, "And you, little Ancient, this time, you won't escape me."_

 _Aerith's eyebrows furrowed. Escape? This time? Sephiroth was acting even more deranged than usual..._

 _She had little time to think as Sephiroth burst into the air and flew down at them. Together, her and Cloud rushed to face him..._

* * *

She... Buster Sword... how... why...? Sephiroth revived... without Reunion...?

"The future holds many questions," said a familiar voice, "Many outcomes and possibilities, many which remain unknown."

Minerva? Is... that you...?

An outline of the goddess slowly began to appear in-front of her...

* * *

 _Aerith watched grimly with despair from her perch on Omega's shoulder's as Sephiroth fought alone against the hordes of Jenova's tainted victims that were trying to lay claim to the last pure strands of the lifestream. She... had failed... but... it was not over yet. Gaia could still escape, could still be reborn again elsewhere. There could be one, final, second chance... but... not for everyone..._

 _Those taken by Jenova would find only her gorging stomach as their final resting place..._

 _And Sephiroth..._

 _She let out a sob..._

 _Sephiroth could not be carried by Omega, he was tainted. He was doomed, fated to spend his last moments fighting alone against Jenova, a final stand, his last battle, as the planet fell apart and died around him. At the sound of her sob, Sephiroth turned his head, giving her a brief, curt nod and mouthed the word 'Go'._

 _Tears rolled down her face. "I'm so sorry..."_

 _Omega gave a roar and began to take off, having absorbed the last of the pure lifestream._

 _She held out a desperate hand and screamed, "SEPHIROTH!"_

 _An orange glow began to coat the man as the hordes spilled over him and the planet began to buck and grumble. His blade sung faster and faster, fire licking along his blade._

 _The last word, the last sound, the last sight of him as she was absorbed into its body and Omega took to the skies was a word filled with huge power as a new star was born. "SUPERNOVA!"_

* * *

Sacrifice... redemption... if ever a moment to feel it... for that man...

"We are in agreement, there are as many futures of redemption for that man as there are a second fall," spoke the voice of the Goddess, "Though, in some, neither happens, he simply lives as but a man."

Aerith could feel the tug of another future yearning for her, but, this time, she resisted it, struggling. "M-minerva... you are alive...?"

She shook her head, finding herself levitating in a strange, empty, white space. It wasn't the injection room... she wasn't in the lifestream either... what was going on?

Minerva formed infront of her, but appeared weak, faint. "Not for long my child, not for long. One last gift. One last warning. One last shred of hope. As the lifestream binds to your body, what remains of me will fade into your soul, hushed and silent, forevermore. We offer you this one last silent sacrifice."

Aerith gave her a pained look. "B-but Goddess..."

Minerva shook her head. "It's alright my child. This fate was chosen the moment we initiated the Fail-Safe. That we have even lasted long enough to see the beginnings of a brighter future has given us one, final, peace and moment of hope. We pray for you my child, we truly do."

Aerith floated over and embraced Minerva, whispering, "Thank you."

"Dream my child, dream. And while you may not remember all of what you see, may it help to show you a path to a brighter future," whispered Minerva, using her hands to gently close Aerith's eyes and embrace her tightly, one last time, as the Goddess's body melded into Aerith's...

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes** :_

 _Echoes refers to both Zack / Minerva / Future Echoes._

 _I was tempted to end it simply when Aerith fell unconscious, buuuut, i wanted to personally toy with possible endings of this story, discarding them as I went. In case you guys didn't notice, I'm not impartial to a bad ending. If this story ends badly, it ends badly, sometimes the goodguys just don't win._

 _But..._

 _As Minerva said..._

 _"The future holds many questions, many outcomes and possibilities, many which remain unknown."_

 _/teasing._

* * *

 _ **Review Responses** :  
_

 _DarkLegendarysoldier : I enjoy when people like my work, unfortunately, there is no set timetable for when I update, especially since I have like... 4-5 stories running at once. I devote almost all my freetime to writing, I'd give more, but, full time jobs OP._

 _Lady Yomi : Tee hee, Aerith can be scary when mad, and yes, changes will steadily become more apparent. Thanks for agreeing on the Lucrecia/Sephiroth note, I didn't think Sephiroth would be the type to have a reuniting breakdown, so, an angry and resentful, but still open and controlled Sephiroth seemed more appropriate._

 _Theres... actually a very big plot point that will eventually be shown about Hojo. Just how did he become aware of what was happening? Hmmmm!_

 _And yes, keep the reviews coming, I always enjoy feedback._

 _Unlike Us : Hoooolly shit, mega review. Yessss..._

 _There was an issue with updates being sent, I actually got an error message whenever I submitted a chapter for awhile despite it going through, it seems to be fixed now._

 _You are correct on pretty much everything you said about Sephiroth, and some of your related guesses as well. Won't say which ones though :tease:_

 _Aerith and SOLDIER is going to be a... interesting, if but complicated mater. Especially considering Aerith is practically forcing herself into it, without any particular training or testing that all SOLDIERs go through. How they react will remain to be seen. Some may accept it, some may not. Additional girls will eventually happen, though, it might not be for a bit, aside from Lucrecia and Cissnei. Tifa will eventually make an eventual appearance. Yuffie? I haven't decided on her yet._

 _Black Materia isn't going to be a major plot point like it was in FF7._

 _It will take a long while for Aerith to become completely comfortable around Sephiroth, if I do go down the 'Sephiroth is a good guy' route. There will be tense moments, especially the first time Aerith ever spares/fights against him, whether he is good or bad. Whether or not she and Sephiroth connect, well, that remains to be seen. It is possible, as some of the futures teased above showed, but will it be chosen for this story? Who knows... oh wait... the pairing is listed in the story heading. :teaseing smile:_

 _Aerith met Zack in the chapter, it didn't go to well for her. :sadface:, and yeah, Angeal got a bit of a clue from Aerith's reaction to the puppy, though Aerith did a good save._

 _Deepground was recognized, and subsequently rolled over by mako injections. What repercussions that is going to have remain to be seen, as, I'm going to tease it now, she's not going to remember about that thought when she wakes up._

 _Cadet Cloud, heh, Aerith's reaction to him probably wont initially be just pointing him out. I expect full-open jaw shock and surprise. Well, unless she hardens up a bit before then and learns to control her reactions to seeing the people of her past._

 _As a note to your final question: I do not do short stories. I do epics. This will go on for many chapters, at least 20+ easily, maybe 50 or more depending on how I play out the conflicts._

 _Eveleech : How Angeal copes with this exactly, remains to be seen. It will still be a point that is to be addressed._


	6. First Steps

_**Chapter 6 - First Steps  
**_

* * *

The first thing Aerith became aware of was a loud murmuring in the back of her mind from the planet. It was a constant throb, aggravating a splitting headache that was quickly forming behind her eyes.

"So loud...," she murmured.

"You will have to adapt to the enhanced hearing."

Aerith cringed at the horrifically loud voice before opening her eyes. Immediately she winced and slapped an arm over her eyes, shielding them from the blinding light from above. She laid there, as minutes ticked by. Slowly, the whispers decreased in volume, and the blinding light spilling around her arms dimmed...

There was a loud pattering of feet before a calm voice addressed her. "Ancient, we have things to discuss."

That voice...

Aerith lowered her arm from her eyes, squinting, and making out...

She flinched to see Sephiroth staring down at her with a masked face. He frowned briefly at her reaction before beginning to pace around the table. The notion of him pacing immediately had her mind sent back to him reading and pacing around in the Nibelheim Mansion's basement library, delving into madness. Her eyes reflexively looked around, spotting Vincent leaning against the wall in a corner, watching the two of them passively.

"Ancient," said Sephiroth, his voice holding a hint of command to it.

She sat up and forced herself to meet his gaze. "My name is Aerith."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I am not inclined to deign you a name at the moment, Ancient."

She stiffened, confused and alarmed at the anger he was showing towards her.

"At what point, Ancient, were you planning on informing us of your plans on becoming a SOLDIER?" inquired Sephiroth, his tone sharp.

Aerith opened her mouth to speak before hesitating and closing it. Ut oh...

"Had it not occurred to you, Ancient, that SOLDIER is _MY_ responsibility?" he asked, "That every single new SOLDIER that enters into the program is not only weighted and approved by the science department, testers, instructors, other SOLDIERS, and the director, but by myself, Genesis, or Angeal as well?"

"I... didn't exactly know that," she admitted.

"That is not an excuse, not for you and my mother, and especially not for the Turks," said Sephiroth thinly, "They, and you, overstepped your bounds. You claimed for yourself what cadets must struggle to attain through a rigorous training and studying regime."

"W-well, Angeal escorted me here," she squeaked out.

"He escorted you to the science department, with no knowledge of what reason you were here for, do not try to pass blame onto others like a child," rebuked Sephiroth.

"I'm not a child!" she retorted.

"Then don't act like one," he all but snarled.

She went very silent at that.

Sephiroth looked her over, almost with contempt. "You bear not an ounce of muscle on you. Have you ever had physical training? Do you even know how to wield a weapon?"

"I... know how to use a staff," she answered a bit weakly.

Sephiroth deadpanned. "A staff? No SOLDIER uses a staff, it is not a weapon fitting our 'trade'."

He slowly shook his head. "Do you have any comprehension, Ancient, of a military lifestyle? Do you understand the chain of command? Obeying rules, regulations, and orders? The rigors, discipline, and duties required of you?"

Aerith felt like she was withering under the intensity of his glare. "W-well... no."

"So, to reiterate. Not only did you bypass the normal cadet process, but you know nothing about what is required of a SOLDIER. You have had no training, and thus are unable to even fulfill the most basic of duties of a SOLDIER," said Sephiroth.

Aerith could do nothing but bow her head. "..."

"I expect an answer," ordered Sephiroth.

"Y-yes, that's correct," she answered very quietly.

"And I expect you to look me in the eye when you give it," he ordered.

Aerith gulped a little, forcing herself to meet his gaze. "Yes, that's correct."

A shiver ran down her spine as they locked eyes. She was starting to become uncomfortably familiar with that unnatural catlike piercing gaze, like he was staring into the depths of her souls and searching for lies or excuses.

Seeming satisfied, he began pacing again. "For what reason, Ancient, did you become a SOLDIER? Angeal has a benevolent notion as to why, but Genesis seems to think you may have played us to grab power while we were busy."

"W-what?!" she all but exclaimed, "That's not true!"

He came to stand in front of the table. "Then what reason did you take the power of SOLDIER for your own?"

She pursed her lips, feeling her temper flare, she could not help but glare at him. "Do you think I wanted this? Wanted to have the lifestream of the planet so unnaturally infused into my body? Wanted to commit this sin?"

He locked his gaze with her, his eyes narrowed, but she did not back down. "I would have rather gone back to my old life. Tending to flowers in the slums, trying to make the lives of those who lived in that awful place better. Instead, I became a SOLDIER because I couldn't afford to risk letting things play out as they did before!"

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Before?"

Aerith went perfectly still, pissed at her screw up, before she lied. "In the visions."

Sephiroth lips curled into an almost smug smile. "I see."

Planet... why did she have the awful feeling that he might see right through her? But... he was said to have been a man of intelligence and logic before madness and Jenova took him. Surely he wouldn't come to the conclusion of time travel and actually accept it?

Right?

Sephiroth didn't give her any indication of an answer, instead, he cleared his throat, his face going back to it's normal calm and detached look. "So, you do not believe that myself, Angeal, and Genesis can handle this? That we can't prevent our own grim fates from playing out as they were destined to?"

"It's not a matter of belief," she answered, "I _cannot_ risk it. There are no second chances."

And she damn well meant it. The fail-safe could not be triggered again for the next few thousand years. If this went wrong, it was over, period.

"I see," said Sephiroth, "I suppose then you need to be made aware of just what you have foolishly thrown yourself into without any thought as to the consequences."

He walked over to the door, or rather, a table next to it that had a few cans of what looked like soda of all things, a prosthetic hand, and a few other weird items. She was confused as to why those things were there to begin with.

She stared, baffled, as Sephiroth picked up a can of soda. "You must be thirsty, Ancient, catch."

He tossed it to her, and she grabbed it out of the air...

Only for it to burst as her hand crumpled the can with ease, spraying her completely.

She blinked a few times, her mouth gaping open in disbelief, before she glared full force at Sephiroth. "What the heck was that for? Some prank can to get even? You call _ME_ childish?"

"It was to show your lack of understanding on just what you have attained," he said simply, "There was no tampering, that was a normal can of soda out of a vending machine. You crushed it like it was paper."

Aerith frowned, glancing down at her hands and the crumpled can. "I don't..."

"Here, shake this," said Sephiroth, walking over with the prosthetic hand.

Aerith hesitated, uncertainty playing across her face. She reached out and grabbed the hand...

 _CRUNCH_

Aerith winced as she crushed it, easily, without even trying to. "Umm..."

"SOLDIERs hold within them superhuman strength," explained Sephiroth before his voice grew critical, "Do you have any concept of how difficult it is to not harm normal people when we interact with them? How much control we must maintain?"

Aerith was silent, her thoughts drifting back to Meteorfall and the times she had watched Cloud from the lifestream. Was it really that difficult? He had made it seem all so easy...

"The answer is: of course not," said Sephiroth with exasperation.

"A pat on the back could dislocate a shoulder and send a person flying. A simple hug could crush someone's lungs and break all their ribs. A hand shake, as you saw, could crush their hand with ease," he said critically and slowly, as if she were an incompetent child needing things spelt out.

"What's more, this extends to everyday objects. You could easily rip a door off it's hinges when you try to open it. You could crush an elevator button when you go to press for a floor. You could rip important documents with the slightest twitch of your fingers. You could break keyboards and mice used for computers with the most minuscule increase in pressure," he continued.

He levied his gaze at her, hard. "Or, in your case. The flowers you tend to inside that church in sector five, you could destroy them with the slightest touch if not careful."

Aerith grew uneasy. "How do you know about..."

"I made it my business to know everything about you, Ancient, when you barged into my world," said Sephiroth, his voice thin, "The Turks were not given a choice but to disclose full information to me."

Aerith felt sweat slip down her forehead at that. He knew everything about her life that the Turks knew. That also meant he knew about mom, but... being sane... he wouldn't hurt her, would he? To get at her if she crossed him?

Wait a second...

Mom!

Aerith was briefly flabbergasted at the notion that she could go and see her mother again, in the flesh.

Sephiroth commandeered her attention. "To make my point, Ancient. You must maintain a flower's touch."

"A... flower's touch?" she echoed, finding the statement curious, and odd, especially from him.

Sephiroth hesitated briefly. "It was an... attempt to relate to what you know and make you understand. You would not wish to harm your... flowers... correct?"

She nodded, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"Then you must maintain the same touch you would give them with everything else, save when your true stength as a SOLDIER is required. Do you understand?" he inquired.

She hesitated briefly before nodding again.

When he grew silent, and nothing further was said, she studied him. Noting him watching her, appearing to be waiting for something. She hesitated, was he... expecting an apology or something? Or would that just 'seem childish'?

She closed her eyes for a moment, took a breath, and let it out. "Sephiroth..."

She opened her eyes and met his. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I went around you and your process like this. It wasn't my intention to cause trouble, but prevent it. I'm sorry if this is causing... problems or something, with how things work. However..."

She grew a bit forceful. "I do not regret the act in itself. I _HAVE_ to be strong enough in case something goes wrong. This goes beyond Shinra, beyond the rules you and those who follow you live by. The planet does not care about most individuals or entities when compared to it's own death via Jenova."

"Though, it is very unhappy with the mako continually being bled out of it by the reactors," she added in.

There was a slight arching of his eyebrows at that, but otherwise, Sephiroth did not respond.

She narrowed her eyes a bit. "I'm willing to earn my keep, and prove myself to SOLDIER, but only in regards to helping people or countering any threat Jenova or Hojo may create. I will not be some thug the President can use to hurt people and force obedience. I will _NEVER_ take an innocent life, so you can forget about me ever stepping foot in Wutai as part of the war."

Sephiroth regarded her silently, his eyes furrowed in thought.

"Joining SOLDIER may not be necessary," said Vincent from his corner.

Aerith glanced over at him. "Huh?"

"Veld has made it clear that he is willing to argue to the President on your behalf to stay with the Turks as a... special agent... akin to what I am, in a sense," offered Vincent.

There was an odd sound all of the sudden, and it took Aerith a second to register it as leather tightening. Her eyes flickered to Sephiroth's hands turning into closed fists, his eyes narrowing at Vincent. At that, Aerith knew her choice had been already made. That if she took the offer, she would never win SOLDIERs loyalty. Not to mention she'd agitate the hell out of the trio and probably lose any chance of gaining their trust. She was a little moved that the Turks still wanted to look out for her, but this wasn't about her. This was about doing whatever it took to prevent a tragedy, one that Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis were at the core of. Without doing everything in her power to keep them sane and out of Jenova's clutches, she'd be dooming the world to re-suffer it's fate.

"Tell Veld I appreciate the offer, but my decision to join SOLDIER stands," she said, before hesitating and looking at Sephiroth, "If SOLDIER will have me."

Sephiroth regarded her, a curious look in his eyes, his hands slowly relaxing. "Stand."

She did so, pushing off the table...

 _SCREECH!_

She winced as her little 'push' sent the operating table scraping along the floor.

Sephiroth sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Restraint will have to be one of the first things you are taught."

He began to pace around her. "I will be frank. An Ancient SOLDIER is something that has never occurred before, for obvious reasons. You have the potential to become a valuable asset within SOLDIER. I will not lie however. I read the Turk's file on you, they note you lack in strength, endurance, and agility, all three are key parts of a SOLDIER. Your body is young, untempered, untrained, you will need to be heavily conditioned. There will be no favors played, or special privileges given to you, regardless of your status as a Ancient or as a female. I hold doubts that young woman, barely into her teenage years, will find it easy to adjust."

She was about to retort that she was a full-grown woman before it actually registered in her mind that he was right. This was before she had met Zack in the original way of things. Planet, how old _WAS_ her body right now? Twelve? Thirteen? A wave of uncertainty hit her, should she have waited until she was older? Another two years or so and she might have joined up when Cloud did and helped him actually make it into SOLDIER this time. She felt a pang at that, she would have been glad, very glad, to have him here with her. Even... if like Zack... he didn't know her anymore.

Though, she remembered wanting to get to know the true Cloud.

Perhaps she'd get her chance this time around.

"Are you dissuaded?" inquired Sephiroth.

Aerith blinked a few times. "No, umm... just thinking that I probably did jump the gun a bit... how old are most people when they try to join SOLDIER?"

"Fifteen," he answered.

Oh well, to late.

"So then, you wish to make the commitment, to become a SOLDIER?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Yes what?" he asked.

She stared at him blankly. "Umm..."

He sighed. "Proper protocol will need to be taught to you as well. When addressing a superior office, 'sir' is an appropriate identifier to use."

"Oh, umm... yes sir!" she said, and recalling something she had seen before, she tried to salute...

Only for to wince as her hand smacked into her head way harder than she thought it would.

She didn't know if it was exasperation or amusement that danced between his eyes before he turned to the door. "Come. I will escort you to your quarters, try not to break anything on the way there."

She bid Vincent goodbye and followed Sephiroth out of the Science Department. She chose to stand directly behind him, following in his footsteps, and not accidentally knocking into something. A short elevator ride later, Sephiroth led her into the SOLDIER floor and down the hall, passing a few other SOLDIERS. Most did a double take and looked her over, stopping to glance at her eyes...

Oh right, SOLDIERs glowed with Mako eyes. It had to be more than apparent of what she had become to them, and to her knowledge, there had been no female SOLDIERs... or... was that true?

She rubbed her forehead, feeling a little dizzy and her mind a little cloudy. For a moment, she thought she saw the image of a woman in crimson, and a young girl with twin blades, before it slipped away from her...

"You will be placed within one of our 3rd class rooms," said Sephiroth, "You will, of course, start from the bottom of SOLDIER and work your way up. For the time being, you will spend the rest of the day resting."

She was taken aback. "Resting? But I could be trying to train and adjust instead..."

Sephiroth glanced back at her briefly. "Most SOLDIERs are given, at bare minimum, a day of recovery after their initial mako injections, to allow the side effects to properly work themselves out. As an Ancient, I am unsure what exactly that would entail for you, as such, I'm not taking any chances for my men or instructors you may be placed with. You will rest in your room for at bare minimum twenty-four hours, unless escorted to the cafeteria to eat. Are we clear, SOLDIER?"

Aerith blinked a few times before nodding. "Yes sir."

"I've taken the liberty of placing you with more... reliable bunkmates, ones I have belive hold less of a risk of... indecent actions against a female," said Sephiroth in a careful tone, "It will be the only courtesy I give you."

"Bunkmates?" questioned Aerith uneasily.

"SOLDIERs do not earn the right to their own room until 1st class," said Sephiroth, "You will have to get used to it. You can work out the particulars with those who share the room, it's not my problem otherwise."

He led her to a door and paused at it. "At the earliest opportunity, change into a SOLDIER uniform, there will be spares stored in the room. You are not a civilian anymore, and should dress as what you are."

She nodded and stared at the door for a moment before asking something she figured she should have asked the moment she woke up, "Sephiroth... did you find Hojo?"

Sephiroth paused, his hand on the doorknob, and forced out a forcibly calm, "No."

With that, he pushed open the door and motioned for Aerith to walk in. She did, and then froze in the doorway, her eyes laying on one Zack Fair sitting on a bunk talking to another SOLDIER.

She paled a bit, feeling her nerves fraying. She turned her head back to try and argue with Sephiroth, but the door was already closing.

 _THUD_

The moment it closed, Zack and the other SOLDIER turned to glance at the door, and then at her. "Oh, hey miss Ancient lady!"

They locked eyes for a moment, and Zack gave a start, his eyes going wide at the sight of hers. Aerith could do nothing but lower her gaze to the floor, unable to bring herself to look at her former love, who didn't know her, who had suffered so much but who had not gone through that pain now.

"Uh...," said Zack, a bit surprised, "Your eyes are glowing... I guess you're our new roommate?"

"Yes," she answered very quietly.

Zack scratched the back of his head. "How'd that happen?"

She shrugged, finding it hard to work up the words to even talk to him.

Zack pointed to the bunk at the back of the room, farthest from the door. "Erm... spare bed is over there."

Aerith walked over and sat down. "..."

Planet... why had Sephiroth stuck her in here with _him_? Did... did he understand what this would do to her?

She could have scowled as the answer hit her.

Of course he did. Angeal had probably told him all about her 'little episode' when she encountered Zack. Sephiroth obviously wanted her to confront her past in order to move forward. And while the idea _WAS_ probably a good idea, as she couldn't freak out and run away from Zack every time she saw him, Sephiroth _COULD_ have given her a bit of a warning...

She did acknowledge that Sephiroth was right in one regard. Zack would never lay a hand on her. She had lived long enough in the slums to know better than to assume people wouldn't try. She knew, considering how often she had went off alone, especially at night, that she was lucky she hadn't been beaten, killed, molested, or raped. Life in the slums was not a pleasant thing, no matter how much she tried to make the best of it. Though, when she thought about it, luck had nothing to do with it actually. Turks following her all the time were a very persuasive and deadly way to dissuade someone...

 _Crunch, thud thud thud..._

Aerith flinched a little at the sounds barraging her ears. It was so... odd... to hear even the tiniest of sounds, like someone getting off a bed and walking over to... oh...

She tensed a little, sighting Zack's boots, she glanced up at him, hoping she didn't look as pale as she felt.

He offered a hand and gave her a smile. "Start over? Zack Fair, nice to meet you."

She stared at the hand, a soft sad smile on her face. Zack was still Zack, no matter where and when he was. She slowly reached out a hesitating hand and took his in hers, shaking it.

"Aerith Gainsborough," she managed to say evenly.

He thumbed behind him. "Smart alack over there is Kunsel, Kuns for short."

"I can introduce myself thank you very much," called over the other SOLDIER.

Aerith let go of Zack's hand and briefly looked around him at Kunsel. She vaguely remembered Zack, _her Zack_ , telling her about an old friend named Kunsel. An intelligent man who never took his helmet off for some reason. Her Zack had said he was an incredible source of information to turn to if need be, and someone he had always been able to count on.

He gave her a tip of his helmet in greeting. "Pleasure to meet you miss Gainsborough."

"Aerith is fine," she said.

"So," said Zack, reclaiming her attention, a grin on his face, "First woman SOLDIER huh? You super excited or what?"

Aerith gave a weak shrug. "I... guess?"

Zack pouted. "Ah c'mon, it'll be awesome, trust me, SOLDIER is a lot of fun!"

That pout, oh how it brought a smile to her face to see it again. She couldn't help but giggle a little.

"Fun he says," said Kunsel, "It's supposed to be serious work, but this clown goofs off to much."

"Do not!" defended Zack.

"Umm, speaking of SOLDIER...," she began hesitatingly, "I was told I should change into a uniform?"

Zack walked over to a drawer and fished out a uniform. "Here ya go. Hope it fits."

He handed it over and pointed to a door. "Bathrooms there, it's first come first serve in the morning, so no complaining if I beat ya to it!"

"A smelly boy like you? Showering?" she teased before rushing for the door.

"I do not smell!" he answered with fake outrage, grabbing one of the pillows off her bead and tossing it at her fleeting form.

The pillow thudded against the door as she closed it with a loud thud. She winced a little and looked over the door, thankful she hadn't broken it on accident. She set down the uniform and started taking off her clothes...

 _RIP_

She cringed as her clothes split a little. "Gosh... this enhanced strength is obnoxious..."

Back during Meteorfall, or even before it, 'holding back' had never been something she had to practice. She could freely admit, to compare to other women, she hadn't been physically strong, no where near Tifa, or even Yuffie. If anything, she had always had to try really hard when it came to physical combat with her staff. Trekking across the world with AVALANCHE, and especially on her own when she went for the Forgotten Capital, had been difficult...

She glanced down at the uniform she had been given with hesitation. She nudged it with a finger, and then carefully picked it up. It seemed to be made of much sturdier stuff than normal clothing. She gave it a careful yank on the sleeve of an arm, and was satisfied when it didn't rip. The clothing looked hefty, but, when she put it on it felt like nothing to her. She reached down and began putting on her boots. They were of a larger and heavier make then the boots she had worn during Meteorfall, and were a much different change to the sandals she had just been wearing.

She clomped around the bathroom a few times, trying to get used to the hefty footwear, before she put herself infront of a mirror...

She stared at herself silently, at the heavy green mako glow in her eyes. "There really is no going back now..."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Who am I to complain? I'm lucky that I even got a second chance at life, to fix things, to give others a second chance as well. It's... what I had to do."

She paused briefly, remembering that she had forgotten Holy inside of her older clothing. She gently fished for it and pocketed it in her pants. She had to keep that safe and secure. It was her trump card, and had to always be with her. She also wanted it kept secret. Few people outside of the top of the Turks knew about it. She had to assume that Sephiroth had probably learned about it from them as well. She wanted to keep the list of people who knew about it as small as possible. She supposed that also extended to the pieces of Zirconde sleeping inside of her as well.

Aerith picked up her old clothes and turned to the door, hesitating a little. She slowly and carefully reached for the doorknob, tenderly turning it, and cautiously opened the door. When it didn't fly open and rip off it's hinges, she was satisfied. She returned to her bunk and sat down on it, placing her old clothes on the floor and sliding them under it. She'd give them back to her mom when she had the chance... oh how she wanted to see and hold Elmyra again...

"We're heading off to the VR room, wanna join us?" called over Zack.

Aerith shook her head. "No, I was told I was supposed to rest for twenty-four hours after I received my mako shots."

Zack nodded. "Oh yeah, I remember when I first got my shots, it was crazy for a little bit."

He gave her a curious look. "Though, your a lot more aware and active than most people who receive their boosters are."

He formed a teasing smile. "Maybe it's a girl thing."

Or, maybe it's because there was no Jenova in the mix, and as an half Ancient, she was more in-tune with the lifestream injected into her body.

She didn't say that to him though, she just gave him a small smile and then laid down. "Maybe."

"Alright, see ya later Aerith," said Zack.

"Bye," she offered quietly.

Once they were gone she sighed. "This... is going to take getting used to."

She thought about trying to sleep, only, the pattering of feet down the hall, the whispers she could also hear echoing... how did SOLDIERs sleep with their enhanced hearing? Gosh, people looked at their power and thought that was all there was to it, but she was quickly discovering aggravations to go with it. Maybe she'd get used to it... who knows...

She closed her eyes and massaged them. "Mmm..."

Her breathing slowed, and she found herself starting to doze off...

Until images started playing across her mind. "What..."

She grew baffled, and monumentally confused at the jumbled mess. It took her a moment to remember.

"Minerva," she whispered quietly and painfully.

She sat up in her bed, but didn't open her eyes. The Goddess had given her so many potential futures to see... as she faded into her soul. Yet... as Aerith sat there, trying to recollect what she had been shown, it all came out as a jumbled and distorted mess.

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Minerva... how am I supposed to use your gift? None of this makes sense... there's to many different outcomes. Trying to make figure out infinite possibilities... it just..."

Not to mention, the Goddess had just shown her endings, not what had led to them. She had a better grasp of the first few futures Minerva had shown her, some she gravitated towards, and others... others scared her...

The sound of her own voice calling Jenova 'Mother' terrified Aerith to the depths of her soul. She desperately wanted to know _HOW_ that could have possibly happened so she could do everything in her power to prevent that. To become corrupted by Jenova, that she treated as her absolute worst case scenario. It would give the Calamity full access to her memories and knowledge of things that had happened. Not to mention a Ancient SOLDIER host...

On the other end of the spectrum. She had seen herself, with Zack, with children. She had wanted to see their faces...

Something like that, a happy ending, was what she wanted and... wait...

No, that wasn't...

Angeal, Genesis, and Cloud had apparently died in that outcome, and Sephiroth had gone insane, again.

She slowly opened her eyes. "That's not good enough for me. I... I want everyone to come out alive."

Maybe it was greedy of her, but dammit, she wanted things to turn out okay this time around! Even for Sephiroth, insanity was no fate that anyone should want.

Sephiroth...

She grew contemplative. It struck her as... bizarre... to see in some of the futures, that she appeared to have come to care for him, perhaps even love him. As she knew him in the future, and even now, she found that hard to believe... and yet... she had seen in these futures, the potential for great good in him. That last concrete vision she had seen, when she had escaped with Omega while Sephiroth had been forced to stay behind in a final stand, their lasts glances to one another, it... had moved her.

She laid back down and stared up at the ceiling. "Maybe we're predisposed to a way of life, but, we all have the potential to be good, or evil. I saw it, even for myself, the possible to become evil..."

She closed her eyes, brought an arm up to rest over her eyes, and sighed. "I... want everything to be alright. I want everyone to come out okay, alive, and sane. I'll do whatever it takes, pay any cost, and push myself as hard as I have to, to make that desire a reality..."

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes** :_

 _Does anyone know if SOLDIER follows specific ranks? Or just 3rd, 2nd, 1st class?_


	7. Through Glass

_**Chapter 7 - Through Glass**_

* * *

Of all the things Aerith expected and dreaded on her first day of training, it wasn't this. She sat in a room, in front of her a table full of empty drinking glasses. Her instructor, an older SOLDIER with a scar across his face paced around the room. He had introduced himself as Sargent Crawford, but said nothing else. Aerith had been sitting in the room for about thirty minutes after being told to report to this training room and to sit and wait patiently. She was starting to grow a bit restless.

"Umm, sir...," began Aerith.

As if that was what he was waiting for, Crawford immediately turned. "Did I give you permission to speak, SOLDIER?"

"No sir," murmured Aerith, going silent.

Crawford moved to the opposite end of the table, but did not sit. "I suppose a dog should be thrown a bone. You did decent I suppose. Thirty minutes before questioning orders."

He leaned forward over the glasses. "I expected at least an hour, though it should have been never."

He pulled back and began pacing. "I have been told you are green as hell. Not a lick of experience in the army or as a SOLDIER. I have been tasked in training you with both. As a member of Shinra's forces, regardless of being a SOLDIER or not, you are expected to follow orders. If you are told to sit on your hands and wait, you do so until your told otherwise. Until you have actually earned the right to be a SOLDIER, you ain't got the right to even think nor speak unless told to. Are we clear?"

Aerith pursed her lips and spoke in as even a tone as she could. "Perfectly, sir."

Crawford eyed her briefly before motioning to the table. "Your first lesson. Tell me, what do you see?"

"A table full of empty glasses," said Aerith.

"Wrong," he barked, "What you should see is an exercise in restraint. There are exactly one-hundred none-reinforced glasses. Your lesson is to learn how to pick them up without breaking them. If you can do so without breaking them all, you pass. If you fail, not only are replacements coming out of your first paycheck, but you are going to do it all over again. Until you learn control, you are a liability to Shinra, everyone around you, and even yourself, in order of importance of course. _You_ are not leaving this room, even if your here for a bloody fricking month, until you can do so. Are we clear SOLDIER?"

"Yes sir," said Aerith, reaching for a cup.

"Did I say you may begin?" barked Crawford.

Aerith pulled back. "N-no sir."

Crawford narrowed his eyes. "Speak clearly, plainly, without hesitation, without a tremor, and for god's sake, don't stutter. You will be eaten alive if you show weakness."

"Yes sir," she said quietly.

"Now, you may begin," said Crawford.

Aerith eyed the nearest glass and slowly reached a hand for it, trying to be as gentle as possible. She slowly picked it up, managing to get it a little off the table before...

 _CRUNCH_

Aerith hissed in pain as the glass shattered and embedded in her hand. "Owww!"

Crawford scoffed. "Oh get over it. It's a bit of glass, pluck them out and try again."

Aerith bit her lip and began to slowly pluck the pieces out, trying to be gentle about it. When she finished, she stared down at her bloody and cut up hand.

"What, you never seen blood before?" barked Crawford, "Pick up the next glass, I ain't got all day."

"Shouldn't I get a cure materia or at least a bandage?" said Aerith.

Crawford scowled. "There you go again with the questions. SOLDIER, wipe your hand off, hold it out in front of you, and stare at it until I say otherwise."

Aerith felt awkward wiping her blood off on her clothes, but did as ordered and stared at her hand. Her eyes went wide to see her cuts slowly starting to heal.

"Those little nicks are not worth the energy to cast a cure nor the money to buy a bandage," said Crawford, "You are a SOLDIER, if not by right, then by the mako they pumped into you. Your wounds will heal at an accelerated rate. Big ones, like a shotgun to the gut, will still drop you without immediate medical care unless you've got a will of steel, but little cuts and scraps are nothing. We don't even acknowledge those."

He cleared his throat. "When a normal soldier gets shot. There is a whole mess that needs to be done. Immediate first aid, rushing to medical, surgery, and a whole lot of recovery. For a SOLDIER? We take stray shots, fish the bullets out, and keep on going through the pain. Depending on the situation, you might have to keep on going even with a bullet in your gut for days on end. Regardless, a day or two of rest and the wound will be gone."

"What I am saying SOLDIER, and you better damn well listen, is that you will not be babied, and if you are expecting to, then you better get over it quick or get out, are we clear?" said Crawford.

Aerith nodded. "Yes sir."

"Pick up the next glass then," ordered Crawford.

For the next hour, Aerith went through one glass after the other, the sharp pains of the shards embedding into her hand, fishing the pieces out, wiping her hands off, and try again. She kept hoping Crawford would speak, offer some trick or suggestion on how to better do this, but he remained silent, watching her critically. Aerith did her best to not grow frustrated, she knew it would only make it harder, but, she was down to the last thirty without any success. She stopped picking them up and stared at the remaining glasses, eyes furrowed and thinking.

"There's gotta be some trick to it," muttered Aerith.

Crawford scoffed. "Trick? There is no 'trick'. It is plain old and simple practice. If you think you can get the hang of it that quickly, you are fooling yourself."

"So I'm expected to fail?" she clarified.

Crawford frowned. "You are expected to try until you succeed."

He grinned. "Though I imagine we will be down several hundred glasses and half of your first paycheck before you do."

Aerith shrugged and went for the next glass. "I don't care about money," and proceeded to accidentally break that one too.

Crawford laughed, though, it was more like a barking laughter. "Then you haven't had a chance to dine in our oh so glorious Shinra grade cafeteria. Let me tell you something SOLDIER, most SOLDIERs spend most of their money on either take out, eating out, or if you become 2nd Class and get a shared room with a kitchen, buying their own food. There is a reason for this, the food cooked for us at Shinra is highly nutritious, but, completely tasteless if not worse."

Aerith stored that little tid-bit away and continued trying to pick up glasses, shattering them over and over again until there was none left.

Crawford briefly left before returning with a broom and a dustbin. "Clean up SOLDIER and I'll go get the next set. I expect this floor shard free. If I can not walk across it barefoot without glass getting stuck in my foot then when we begin your physical training you will regret it. Am I clear SOLDIER?"

"Yes sir," said Aerith.

Aerith waited until he left before giving out an extremely frustrated sigh. "Sir sir sir sir sir. How in the world did Zack put up with this?"

She grumbled to herself as she started sweeping up the glass floor. "This is obnoxious. Maybe I should have been a Turk instead..."

She frowned briefly. "On second thought, considering what they do, _no_."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I still can't believe Reno dropped the plate on Sector Seven just like that. I could never be that cold blooded..."

Aerith froze, a tingling sensation running down her spine. She stood upright and glanced around, confused. It felt like someone had just been staring directly at her. Her eyes flickered to the upper corners of the room, but she didn't see any cameras or anything. Strange...

She shrugged it off and resumed cleaning...

* * *

Sephiroth's lips curled into a smug grin as he stared through the looking glass into the room Aerith was in.

"So... why are we watching the Ancient break glasses and clean up?" said Genesis, his voice exasperated, "She's mildly interesting simply because of what she is, but not to this degree."

"For that very moment," said Sephiroth offhanded, "When she's alone, she reveals more than she intends."

"Yes, the Turks are cold blooded killers, what of it?" said Genesis, not caring in the slightest.

"That's not the point Genesis," muttered Angeal, a heavy frown on his face, "The Turk's don't just do things like that without a purpose. Why would they have crushed the entire Sector Seven?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask her?" said Genesis before giving Sephiroth a smug smile, "Or do you believe that she is hiding something hmm? Not the innocent trustworthy little flower one would think her to be, as I said."

Sephiroth cleared his throat. "I never said she wasn't hiding something Genesis. To your point, if asked, she probably would tell. That of course ignores the point that she would want to know why we are asking, and that would reveal that we are watching her."

He gave Angeal a pointed look. "And try to refrain from staring at her directly when she says something like that. This room may be shielded, but a warrior's sense can work around that."

"Yes, a curious thing isn't it," said Genesis, "She _isn't_ a warrior, yet had that reaction, felt and knew someone was watching her. That's something that ought to have developed over a period of time, perhaps in a war, or a long journey filled with strife. Perhaps it's from being an Ancient, but somehow I'm not so sure."

"According to what Seph got out of the Turks, she's been living in the slums, she'd have to keep her eyes open and senses peeled," offered Angeal.

Genesis snorted. "Ah yes, dreaded pickpockets, I must certainly keep my eyes peeled lest I lose a few coins."

Sephiroth didn't pay attention to their banter, though he could admit Genesis did have a point. She shouldn't have developed such a sense yet. He doubted she could pick up such a trait from her visions. Perhaps it was indeed because she was part Ancient. Perhaps not. Just another curious little observation about her. He was starting to make a collection out of them.

There was a heavy sigh from the room as Aerith dumped a dustbin full of glass into a trash bin and stared down it. "Cloud, Zack, how the heck did you make it seem so easy?"

"Cloud?" murmured Sephiroth.

"Oh, we got another name now," said Genesis, rolling his eyes, "Lovely."

"I'll go through our records for a SOLDIER named 'Cloud'," offered Angeal, fishing out his PHS, "I wonder if this was the 'second love' she mentioned."

Sephiroth nodded, but didn't turn to face him. He watched Aerith carefully, not fully with his gaze, but out of the corner of his eyes. When she was alone, she seemed to move with an odd heaviness, an odd weight, on her. Her shoulder's slumped, brooding. That weight wasn't something a young teenage girl should have. To be frank, from what little interactions he had with her, she often seemed much older than she appeared. So unlike what the Turks had noted about her in her personality profile. In fact, there were quite a lot of inconsistency with their profile and the girl he saw now.

Could a simple vision, even if she supposedly lived through it, inflict changes that should have taken years to happen naturally? The whole thing smelt fishy, but not in the usual sense. He did not believe she was lying per say. But she was clearly hiding something in what she had told them. He had no concrete theories that weren't completely farfetched, but he threw no theory out. He had no experience with the Ancients, he knew very little of what they were and what they could do.

He would correct that lack of information soon, even if she was the last Ancient, a hybrid one at that, and the only one who that information would be useful against.

"We ought to be out hunting Hojo," said Genesis dryly.

That drew Sephiroth's attention, and annoyance. "Hojo could be anywhere in the world right now. Looking for him blindly is foolish."

"He had to have had hidden laboratories somewhere, mad scientist and all" said Genesis dryly, "I'm sure there are records of them somewhere."

"Yes, and by the time we find them, he will have already collected what he needed from them and moved to a new location to set himself up," said Sephiroth, "Hojo is many things, but an idiot is unfortunately not one of them. Unless we have a lead, our part to play in the hunt is over. The Turks are in charge of the hunt, and considering the raw gratitude Veld obviously feels to the Ancient, they won't stop anytime soon."

Genesis nodded slowly, his eyebrows furrowing in thought, but said nothing else.

Yes, it was a curious thing, to see such a change in the Turk Director. That extra spring in his step. The concealed smile that the man had to force himself to try to not to allow to break through his normally controlled and hardened face. The increased patience. To have his daughter and his partner back had... what was the right word to use? Changed him? Healed him? He wasn't quite sure. But the Turks had certainly noticed it of their director, and what made their director happy, made them happy. The Ancient would not lack allies out of the Turk Department. That alone was a very dangerous advantage in the Ancient's favor.

On the note of Veld's partner...

Something was very _off_ about Vincent Valentine. Whatever Hojo had done to the man changed him. When Sephiroth had briefly met the man, and the man's eyes had flickered gold ever so briefly, he actually felt danger. Few people he had met could trigger any kind of warning sense from him. Genesis and Angeal he knew to respect. Hojo he knew to be wary of. But Vincent Valentine?

He felt dangerous, actually dangerous.

He'd have to keep one eye on the man. He wondered if the man could wield a sword. He always hungered for a good challenge.

"Alright SOLDIER, here's the next batch," came Sargent Crawford's voice.

Sephiroth watched as the man wheeled in a cart of one hundred stacked drinking glasses into the room and began setting them on the table slowly, one at a time.

Genesis scoffed. "Why not just have her pluck them off the cart, this is a waste of time."

"Patience Genesis, it's part of the lesson," said Sephiroth, "It's to show her what can be done. He sets each glass on the table, proving and showing how easily he does so. There will be not one broken glass, not even a crack when he is done, compared to the full one-hundred she just broke."

Sephiroth grew amused. "And if you were paying attention, you'd see the Ancient watching his every moving, as if trying to decipher some secret method."

Angeal chuckled. "It's kind of funny in a way. Perhaps we should use this method as a part of the actual training new SOLDIERs get. It would be a good laugh."

"Yes, wonder how many your puppy would have broken fresh from his mako shots," said Genesis dryly.

"A few hundred at least," said Angeal, his eyes on his PHS, flicking through some file or the other.

A minute later Angeal spoke, "There is no 'Cloud' currently in SOLDIER."

Genesis shrugged. "Perhaps a future SOLDIER then."

"Perhaps, and yet, there is something that makes me question that," said Sephiroth, "I quote: 'Sir sir sir sir sir. How in the world did Zack put up with this.' You notice she did not say Zack and Cloud, while she paired them together while alluded to having enhanced strength."

Angeal whistled a little. "Good catch."

"She might have just forgotten to say his name," said Genesis, though Sephiroth could see the man trying to work out the possible implications in his mind.

"Perhaps," said Sephiroth, but didn't say anything else.

There were a few possibilities of why this 'Cloud' was not associated with her 'sir' rant. Perhaps he had joined SOLDIER and then gone AWOL at some point. Perhaps he joined and never respected the authority of his superiors, he knew a few SOLDIERs like that. Perhaps he joined to late in the visions she saw, dying to the mayhem of a future where the three of them in this room went mad in one form or another. Perhaps he was exposed to Mako and got his enhancements that way, though, that was exceedingly rare to an inane degree, uncontrolled mako exposures or injections were almost always failure. There was also the unfortunate possibility that this 'Cloud' had the ill fortune of being one of Hojo's unwilling abducted experiments.

He resisted the urge to shudder at that last thought and hoped he was wrong. He would never wish that on anyone.

Sephiroth's ears twitched at the sound of glass shattering and the Ancient cursing under her breath.

"So, how many do you think she'll go through?" said Genesis dryly.

"Depends on how frustrated she gets," said Angeal, "Another hundred or so if she keeps her cool. Much more if she doesn't. For someone green like her, frustration will make this far more difficult than it should be."

"Fifty more," said Sephiroth.

Angeal raised an eyebrow. "That quickly?"

"She's getting the glasses closer to herself each time," said Sephiroth, "She is for one, not male. Not to be biased against or towards a gender, but, females are said to have a more delicate touch. This one in particular was said to be gentle, and handled flowers in her daily life. She is unused to this strength, but she will adapt quickly, if only for the sake of not wishing to harm others."

Genesis scoffed. "Lovely, we have a flower loving SOLDIER. Our reputation will never be the same. _Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul, pride is lost, wings stripped away, the end is nigh_."

Angeal laughed, and Sephiroth allowed himself a soft chuckle.

It turned out Sephiroth was wrong in his assumptions. Not even twenty glasses later...

There was a squeal of delight from Aerith, holding a glass up a bit in front of her chest. "I did it!"

 _Shatter_

"Dammit!" swore Aerith.

"Ha," said Crawford, "Not bad SOLDIER, but you still have a way to go. Losing focus even for a second and you can lose control of yourself. It will come as second nature in time, but you still need to be mindful of your strength when around civilians."

"Also, do not _ever_ ," said Crawford, "Let me hear you squeal like that again. It's unbecoming of a SOLDIER."

"Yes sir," said Aerith bashfully, an embarrassed red spreading across her face.

Sephiroth mad a ticking noise with his tongue. "Unfortunate, we wont have an opportunity to see her alone and speaking unguarded this session."

"We could call Crawford away and make the opportunity," suggested Angeal.

Sephiroth considered it before shaking his head. "We will be patient. We have already learned something this session, and there will be plenty more to come. We will learn more, if not from watching her train, then through her interactions with us, with others, and with Zackery."

Angeal frowned and crossed his arms. "I still don't like that you did that Sephiroth. Asking Zack to spy on her?"

"It was not a request to 'spy'," said Sephiroth, "But to be observant. He is not to press her about what she saw in her 'visions', but if he happens to overhear anything important..."

Angeal sighed. "You are using her connection to him in her visions against her Seph, I don't approve of it."

Sephiroth shrugged. "That is your choice, but beyond that, she cannot have such reactions as the one she had when she first met him on a regular basis. She will have to learn to deal with him."

"I still think you could just go and ask her," said Genesis dryly, "She'd probably fold and spill her guts easily enough. Doesn't seem like the type that likes to or is very good at keeping something secret. Its far to obvious to tell she's hiding something, and that's beyond her not giving all the details of her visions, just the major stuff concerning us, and even that isn't in full detail."

"Perhaps," said Sephiroth.

"Ah, but of course, I forget, you just love your puzzles don't you?" said Genesis, "And straight up asking her would be cheating, wouldn't it?"

Sephiroth's lips curled into an amused smile, but he didn't answer his friend. Besides...

He frowned. "She already did me a unfathomable service. Asking more from her when she gave me the opportunity to change my fate is something I will not do."

Genesis and Angeal went silent at that.

Her gift to him, to them, was the one and only reason he had allowed her into SOLDIER when she had unknowingly gone behind their backs to get a Mako injection and become one of them. What she had warned him of...

To go mad, to be the one who ended the world was a grim fate. But beyond that, what truly horrified him was the fact that Genesis, his friend, had been sent against him at the end, and he had apparently killed him, _without a second thought_. The Ancient had not alluded to some epic or remorseful battle. She simply stated Genesis had died, said almost like an afterthought. While he could respect Genesis's strength, if Sephiroth cut loose, he knew his friend wouldn't stand a chance.

The notion of really hurting his friend _hurt_. People called him cold, but that wasn't exactly true. He could admit, he was not a warm 'bubbly' man like Zack, and never desired to be so, but he would give respect to those who deserved it. He simply didn't know people, most people made no effort to see him as anything but an object to be admired, feared, or used. If someone couldn't bring themselves to try and get around that to truly befriend him, for it was on them to do so as he certainly did not need to be the one to initiate such a thing, then they were not worth the effort to get to know on a level that he did with Angeal and Genesis...

Genesis might be insufferable at times, but, that he had murdered his friend in cold blood, driven by madness or not, it shook him...

Sephiroth forced himself to push the thought away. He'd brood to himself alone later. He refocused in time to see the Ancient successfully hold a glass up in the air without breaking it.

"Good, now, set it back down," said Crawford smugly.

Aerith winced a little before slowly trying to do so...

And a crack spread along the glass as she set it down a tad to hard in the table, causing it to rattle, and one of the glasses on the edge to fall off and shatter.

"Again," ordered Crawford.

"So, are we done then?" said Genesis, drawing Sephiroth's attention.

Sephiroth glanced briefly back at him. "You can go if you want."

Genesis took his leave. "Have 'fun' with your Ancient puzzle."

Angeal slowly shook his head and stood up. "Ought to go back to training the pup. I'll see you later Seph."

Sephiroth nodded. "Very well."

He stood alone, observing the Ancient. Such a conundrum this one was. Her odd presence. The inconsistencies with what was known of her prior to her 'visions' and her now. The determination she showed at times, even for this simple little exercise. He recalled how she had stood up to him when he was calling her out for joining SOLDIER the way she did...

* * *

 _The Ancient closed her eyes for a moment, took a breath, and let it out. "Sephiroth..."_

 _She opened her eyes and met his. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I went around you and your process like this. It wasn't my intention to cause trouble, but prevent it. I'm sorry if this is causing... problems or something, with how things work. However..."_

 _She grew a bit forceful. "I do not regret the act in itself. I HAVE to be strong enough in case something goes wrong. This goes beyond Shinra, beyond the rules you and those who follow you live by. The planet does not care about most individuals or entities when compared to it's own death via Jenova."_

 _"Though, it is very unhappy with the mako continually being bled out of it by the reactors," she added in._

 _Sephiroth slightly arched his eyebrows, but did not respond._

 _She narrowed her eyes a bit. "I'm willing to earn my keep, and prove myself to SOLDIER, but only in regards to helping people or countering any threat Jenova or Hojo may create. I will not be some thug the President can use to hurt people and force obedience. I will NEVER take an innocent life, so you can forget about me ever stepping foot in Wutai as part of the war."_

* * *

Acknowledging her need to prove herself, but putting her foot down, directly showing defiance against him. No, not defiance, drawing a line and standing for what she believed in. She intrigued him, he could admit that. He'd be watching her carefully. For now, as he strode out of the observation room, he'd allow her the privacy of her small victory today, content with pondering what he had learned about and from her and what it could mean...

* * *

Aerith, _finally_ in her own opinion, managed to lift a glass and set it down on the table.

"Good," said Crawford, "Now, I want you to do it for each and every remaining glass. You are to move them all to the other end of the table."

Aerith resisted the urge to groan. It was one task after another with this guy. Even if it was just moving glasses, he was kind of a slave driver. Or who knows, maybe all SOLDIER instructors were like this. Oh well, she supposed it was good practice for her. She could admit, she was kind of embarrassed about how good it felt to just hold up a glass without shattering it. Simply put, after shattering so many of the blasted things, it scared her to think of what would have happened if she tried to hold a baby, or tend to someone injured. She'd have hurt them, easily, maybe even killed them on accident.

Aerith carefully went about Crawford's task, only shattering a few more before she put the remaining at the end of the table.

"Now, pick one up, and pass it back and forth between your hands," he ordered.

Ugh...

Task by task, hour by hour, Crawford made her perform one act after the other repentantly. Tossing and catching drinking glasses up in the air. Running around the room with one in her hand. Doing the opposite of trying not to break them, but to see if she could practice slightly squeezing them harder without breaking them. He said that exercise was in-case someone pissed her off at a lunch or dinner, didn't want to shatter glasses in public if she got a little mad as it looked bad in the media. She went through roughly another hundred glasses and dozens of exercises before they were interrupted...

By Aerith's growling stomach.

"Ha, suppose that'll do for now," said Crawford, "Go get some grub SOLDIER, after lunch, I expect you back here for more."

"But... I did the exercise," said Aerith.

Crawford scoffed. "'Congratulations' you managed to pick up a glass and do some tricks with it. If you think that's close to enough then you are sorely mistaken. Next you get to practice shaking hands. Let me tell you SOLDIER, break any of them, and well... I suggest not doing so to begin with. Your dismissed SOLDIER, unless you want to skip eating."

"No sir," said Aerith.

"Thought not, now git," said Crawford, "I'll clean up the mess."

Without a further word, Aerith left, hungry and eager to eat, but slightly terrified of the food Crawford said everyone ate out to avoid...


	8. Transitions

_**Chapter 8 - Transitions  
**_

* * *

Aerith wasn't expecting to start on weapons so soon, on only the second day.

She stared at the handle of a standard issue sword Sargent Crawford held out to her. "Umm..."

"What? You think it's going to bite you SOLDIER?" barked Crawford, "Take it."

Aerith reluctantly, and with great distaste, took the sword in her hands. Her entire body was tense and rigged, uncomfortable in handling a tool of death. Masamune. First Tsurugui. The Buster Sword. And so many more, how many lives had been taken by such weapons? It made her want to blanch. It's why she preferred a staff; bonking someone on the head and knocking them out was more favorable than skewering them or lopping off limbs. Though, a staff really wasn't effective on penetrating some of the tough monster hides or machine armor AVALANCHE had faced on their journey chasing the One Winged Angel.

She could unfortunately remember enough of her Zack's whining back in the Lifestream about not having been able to get his own special 'coat' or weapon until he hit 1st class. She was stuck with a sword until she proved herself.

"Hmph, with that face you're making you'd think it killed your mother," mocked Crawford.

No. That had been a gunshot wound on top of the needles and experiments Hojo put her birth mother through that ended her life. "Close enough, sir."

Crawford crossed his arms. "You can't do your job without a weapon SOLDIER. Well, Hewley could, but you don't have the muscle nor the unarmed skill he does."

"I know, sir," she said, "I'll use what I have to use."

Crawford scowled. "So you say SOLDIER, but I'll believe that when I see it. You are uncomfortable with a weapon to such a degree it will effect your performance with everything you do. If I didn't know any better, you look at the weapon like one of those ninny pacifists twits."

She pursed her lips. "With respect, sir, it can take just a great of a strength to take the peaceful route than to just run in swinging a weapon."

Crawford swore under his breath. "What did I do to deserve this? You **_ARE_ ** a ninny pacifist twit aren't you?"

"I am not a twit! I prefer a peaceful approach, but I will fight if I have to," she retorted before pausing, "Sir."

Crawford had the audacity to look amused. "Is that so? And what do you fight with? Pretty looks?"

Aerith glared at him. "A staff."

Crawford deadpanned. "A staff. You fight with a twig."

Aerith gave him an undignified look. The last staff she had wielded while alive had definitely NOT been a twig. It might have been as thin as one, but the Princess Guard had been a powerful staff. She kind of missed the feel of it in her hands, it had been a comfortable weight.

"A sword is a weapon of endings," said Aerith, "They are made to _kill_. A staff can kill if need be, but a good whack upside the head, or on a joint, can end a fight without needless bloodshed or death."

She paused briefly. "Just a concussion or broken bones."

"Killing is a waste of life, and should only be done when it has to be done to prevent greater loss," said Aerith, "I will kill if I have to, but I won't take pleasure in it."

Crawford, to her surprise, stared at her silently for a few minutes. Without a word, he turned and left the room, leaving her a bit dumbfounded and confused. Had she upset him or something? Made him quit training her? She had just spoke her mind...

She stood there, a bit at a loss, until Crawford returned with, to her surprise, a metal staff in his hand. He tossed it to her and she caught it, dropping her sword and twirling the staff in her hands briefly before holding it in a familiar way, diagonally in-front of her body...

Then faster than she could react, Crawford drew his own blade, surged forward, and swung. He severed the staff in half, his blade coming inches from her nose, the force of the attack sending her staggering and the two halves flying out of her hands.

"A staff is not a match for a sword, SOLDIER," said Crawford smugly, "So I suggest you learn how to wield a _real_ weapon."

Aerith stared at him for a moment, her face starting to turn a shade of red, her fists tightening. "You..."

"You have something to say SOLDIER?" said Crawford crossly, "Go ahead and say it, at this point I'm looking for a reason to write you up you pacifist ninny twit."

"No sir," said Aerith through her grinding teeth.

"Good. Now, I am going to walk you through the initial motions, you had best pay attention SOLDIER," barked Crawford.

Pay attention she did, if only so she could learn enough to one day wipe that smug look off his face. Insufferable brute! What he was teaching her might be important, but oh how she disliked him. He walked her through various stances, attacks, blocks, parries, how to use her momentum to her advantage, all of that and more was crammed into her head in half-a-day of exhausting training.

When she finally found herself back in her room, laying exhausted on her bed, she was still peeved. "Stupid Crawford, staff probably only broke because it was a crappy one."

"Crawford huh?" came Zack's voice.

She turned her head to see Zack and Kunsel walking into the room, heading for their own beds. "Yeah, he's my instructor."

Zack cringed a bit and Kunsel whistled, the latter saying, "Strict, but a gifted teacher. Have you seen his creds?"

"Creds?" she asked, uncertain as to what he meant.

"Credentials, resume, he's had a hand in helping to train almost all of the top SOLDIERs," said Kunsel, "Ran the Shinra bootcamp before SOLDIER came about, eventually transferred over and became a SOLDIER."

"Huh," said Aerith.

Wonder what happened to him the first time around. Death in the Genesis copy war? Wutai? Meteorfall? Who knows, she didn't have a clue what happened to the vast majority of SOLDIER to be honest. She didn't even know if Kunsel was alive or dead by the time she went back in time.

"Still, must see something in you if he's training you," said Kunsel.

"Dunno if that's a good thing or not," said Zack sheepishly, "Boy was I glad when Angeal picked me up, Crawford was downright scary to train under my first few weeks. I talked back to him once and he had me run up the stairs, every single floor, top to bottom, multiple times in a single day."

"Good exercise," teased Kunsel.

Zack rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at him.

"I agree with Zack," groaned Aeirth, "He's a grumpy old man."

Kunsel snorted. "If you say so, but I'd find it an honor to be trained by the guy who had a hand in training most of the 1st class SOLDIERs we have now, trio included."

Hmm... he might have a point. It was kind of odd, in a way, to be being trained by the guy who trained Sephiroth. The thought of Sephiroth even being trained was a mind boggling one, even if it was obvious. He HAD to be trained at one point, no one was born wielding a sword like that man could. It brought an amused smile to her face, she wondered if Sephiroth had struggled like she had, or did he just pick it up instantly? She wondered how many years ago he had his training. He had went into Wutai at twelve if she recalled so it had to be before...

She frowned at that thought. Thrown into war at twelve years old... that was seven years ago. It left her briefly astonished to actually realize just how young Sephiroth actually was. Nineteen years old right now. In the original way of things, insane at twenty-two or twenty three, depending on his birth date. It was... such a damn shame, so much of his life ahead of him... so much to look forward to, she had remembered Zack telling her in the lifestream that Sephiroth had been planning to leave Shinra after the Nibelheim mission. If only he had had the chance...

It drew out her contempt for Shinra. She tried to keep it bottled up since she was technically working for them, but anyone, ANYONE who employed child soldiers was horrible. Hell, Zack right now was what... fifteen? Sixteen? Hardly an adult. Just the thought, Sephiroth as a young boy, hard to imagine as it was, thrown into a war at so young an age...

It left her in a brooding depression. Here she was working for so horrible a company. She had put her foot down to Sephiroth, saying she wouldn't be used as a thug for the President, or ever take an innocent life. What were the chances she'd actually be able to keep true to her word AND stay at the company? The leadership of Shinra was pure _evil_. Or, mostly evil since Hojo had been replaced by Lucrecia. Rupert Shinra, Scarlett, Heidegger, all awful people. Reeve was good, that was true, but he had no real influence at this point. Palmer was... fat and incompetent. Tseng, or Veld at this point, was willing to do anything in the name of Shinra. He may have softened a bit after getting Vincent and his daughter back, but he was still a Turk. Turks who would drop a plate on Sector 7 without question. Lazard... she didn't really know much about him.

How long would it be until she was ordered to do something against her morals? What would happen at that point? Kill her for refusing? It wasn't even a stretch to think that would happen, not with Shinra...

Maybe.

Veld favored her, she knew that. So did Lucrecia. The trio... she wasn't certain. Before she had bumbled into SOLDIER without asking them they might have. Now, she had to start from the bottom and prove herself first. Being the sole Ancient alive might also get her some leeway, but if push came to shove she'd have to make a decision at some point when the line was eventually drawn. She would never willingly take an innocent life, if she had to one day start AVALANCHE herself then so be it, she'd do what she had to...

 _Whack._

Aerith gave a yelp when a pillow hit her face right on the nose. "Oh no, no depressed looks allowed, I can practically feel it coming off you."

Aerith pushed away the pillow and glared up at Zack. "Hey!"

Zack gave her a cheeky grin, pulled the pillow she was laying her head out from under her, and shouted, "Pillow fight!"

The following feather-filled disaster was a level of fun and entertainment she hadn't had since before she had joined AVALANCHE on their journey. At least until Angeal Hewley walked into the room, crossed his arms, and raised an eyebrow. The three of them froze, exchanging glances, and put what was left of their destroyed pillows behind their backs in a poor childish attempt to hide their 'misdeeds'.

"Hey Angeal! What's up?" said Zack as if nothing was amiss.

Angeal merely shook his head in exasperation. "Come pup, time for your walk."

Zack scowled slightly before lighting up. "Mission?"

"Mission," confirmed Angeal.

Zack whooped, grabbed his sword, and was out the door in an instant, at least before he yelped and cried out, "Vampire!"

Aerith's eyes furrowed until a slightly disgruntled looking Vincent moved into the doorway. "Lucrecia wishes to see you Aerith."

"What does the Science Department want?" fake-whispered Zack across the room.

"Not our business," scolded Angeal.

Vincent took one look at Zack and said, "Blood."

Zack yelped. "I knew it! Vampire!"

Aerith rolled her eyes. "I was wondering when we were going to get started."

Angeal grew curious. "He's serious? What does the Science Department want your blood for?"

Aerith paused. Angeal didn't know? Wait. Had she not mentioned using her blood to remove Jenova's taint from SOLDIER to them? Did that mean Sephiroth didn't know? Uh... remembering how Sephiroth reacted to the 'surprise' of her suddenly becoming a SOLDIER, doing this without informing him was probably a _very_ bad idea...

"Angeal, could you call Sephiroth and tell him to meet me in the Science Department?" asked Aerith a little timidly.

Angeal raised an eyebrow. "If he's not in the middle of something."

"It's kind of important," she said.

"How important?" asked Angeal, a frown on his face.

"Erm... Jenova important," murmured Aerith.

Angeal's face paled slightly. "I see. Sorry Zack, mission's delayed."

"Awww, whined Zack.

"I'll call Sephiroth and Genesis and have all of us meet you down there," said Angeal.

"Erm, you all don't need to...," began Aerith.

Angeal frowned. "Anything related to that thing we all agreed to keep each other informed on."

"Ah... alright," said Aerith.

"'Jenova'?" asked Zack.

Aerith winced, noting Zack and Kunsel giving her curious looks.

"Something top secret that shouldn't be said so carelessly," said Angeal, giving Aerith a pointed look.

Aerith scratched her head bashfully. "Whoops."

"Top secret?!" exclaimed Zack excitedly, "Awesome! I know a super 'top secret' word!"

Zack walked over to Kunsel and whispered, "What's a 'Jenova'?"

"Beats me," said Kunsel before looking at Angeal and making a zipping motion to his own mouth.

Vincent cleared his throat. "Aerith. Let's be on our way before any ' _additional_ ' company secrets are spilled."

Aerith smiled sheepishly, nodded, bid the others goodbye, and followed him to the elevator and to the Science Department. Lucrecia was waiting in the same barren white room as before. Aerith frowned slightly, wishing they'd use a different one she didn't have such memories in, but kept quiet on it. She moved to sit on the examination table as Lucrecia started bringing over her equipment to draw blood. Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal, and curiously Zack as well, walked in a few minutes later.

Angeal saw the look and shrugged. "He was going to hound me until he figured it out."

Zack bounced on his heels eagerly. "I can keep a secret! I swear!"

Sephiroth pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed, and turned to Aerith. "What is it Ancient?"

"Umm... it occurred to me that you probably didn't know about this," started Aerith nervously, "And I think you'd want to be informed of what's going on."

An irritated look crossed his face. "Informed of what, exactly?"

"We were planning on using infusion's of Aerith's blood to steadily remove Jenova out of regular SOLDIERs," explained Lucrecia.

Sephiroth blinked once. "Remove?"

"Aerith informed us that the planet told her...," began Lucrecia.

"The planet? You can really talk to the planet?" said Zack, "That's so cool!"

"Zackery," warned Sephiroth.

Zack instantly went quiet, giving Sephiroth an innocent look.

"As I was saying, the planet apparently informed her that her blood can be used to purge Jenova out of SOLDIER," said Lucrecia, "We had planned to do this slowly over time as to not awaken Jenova while we weaken her influence."

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. "And I am just now being informed of this? When exactly was this decided?"

"Erm... before I even returned from my exile," admitted Lucrecia.

"It was before I realized you should be informed," said Aerith quietly.

Genesis snorted. "'Realized'? That sounds like an excuse for not doing so earlier."

"At least we told you?" said Aerith weakly.

Sephiroth sighed quietly before crossing his arms. "What exactly will this process do to my SOLDIERs? Are there any dangerous side effects?"

"We don't know," said Lucrecia, "Aerith herself had no out-of-the-ordinary side effects when she was made a SOLDIER. However, using her blood, her cells, to remove Jenova from someone who is already a SOLDIER, rather than in the process of making them a SOLDIER..."

"Wait," cut in Sephiroth, "New SOLDIERs will be using her cells?"

Oh... there was something _else_ she had forgotten to mention. "Yes? Did you want Shinra to keep using Jenova?"

Sephiroth glared at Aerith, but motioned to his mother. "Continue."

"As I said, we don't know what will happen," said Lucrecia, "It shouldn't be lethal, but..."

Sephiroth cleared his throat. "Then this will not be implemented in mass until it is properly tested on a volunteer. I also assume, since you said 'regular SOLDIER' that it will not work on myself, Angeal, or Genesis."

"No," said Aerith, "How you three were infused with Jenova, especially you and Angeal, is irreversible."

"What about me?" demanded Genesis, "Can your blood cure the degradation you said will affect me?"

"No," said Aerith before adding in as Genesis deflated, "I have a different plan in mind for that."

Genesis scowled. "Something _ELSE_ you haven't told us, Ancient?"

"Erm...," said Aerith, scratching the back of her head nervously.

Sephiroth sighed. "One thing at a time, first we..."

"Question," interrupted Zack, "What is a 'Jenova'?"

"It's a genocidal space alien that wiped out the Ancients that Shinra was using as a science experiment to inject with Mako to create SOLDIER that can apparently mind control anyone with her cells," said Genesis, exasperated.

Zack scoffed. "Right."

When no one said anything to counter that, Zack paled slightly. "Wait, you're _serious_?"

"Why did you bring him down here again?" Genesis asked Angeal.

"Because he has a habit of eavesdropping and I'd rather have him understand what's going on than making a mess out of partial information," said Angeal.

Zack didn't react to the eavesdropping comment, a heavy frown on his face, a serious tone in his voice, "Alright then. I volunteer, stick her blood in me and get that thing _out_ of me. **Now**."

Aerith stared at him silently. Zack going deadly serious was a rare thing, and when it happened, it was a sight to watch.

"Wait wait, Zack...," began Angeal.

"Hey, you said you needed a volunteer, I'm offering," said Zack, "I'd rather you test it on me and something goes wrong then have it happen to one of my friends."

Angeal gave him a helpless look before sighing, "You're a good pup Zack."

Zack gave him a strained grin. "Besides, only someone who actually knows whats going on should volunteer. Unless you guys were planning on lying to someone about what you were sticking them with. That's kind of a 'Hojo' thing to do, isn't it?"

"Hmph, well said," said Sephiroth, a tint of approval and respect in his eyes for the young SOLDIER, "Very well, Zackery has volunteered. Let's get this started."

Aerith felt uneasy, but, she had no reason to believe her blood would hurt him. Would it? The planet had said her cells could purge Jenova, she doubt it would kill anyone, but... would it hurt?

" _Planet_?" she whispered in her mind, concerned enough for Zack to ask the Planet to commune to Midgar again.

 **CHILD**.

" _PURGE CALAMITY. WILL IT HARM SOLDIER?_ " Aerith tried to communicate.

There was silence for a moment before the planet answered. " **UNPLEASANT**."

Oh boy...

"He might want to be unconscious for it," said Aerith aloud.

Angeal immediately grew concerned. "Why?"

"Jenova infects and changes a person's cells, their DNA itself," explained Aerith, "Purging that and correcting that influence will be..."

She echoed the planet's words. "Unpleasant."

Zack shrugged and walked over to sit next to Aerith. "I can take it. Let's go, the thought of having this 'Jenova' thing inside of me is seriously giving me the creeps."

Lucrecia nodded and moved a cart full of equipment to the table. She wrapped a cloth around Aerith's left arm, gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, and then inserted a needle into a vain on her arm. Aerith watched queasily as it went down the needle into a tube connecting to a empty blood bag. She waited silently as it slowly began to fill.

"I'm no scientist, but how is this an 'end all cure'?" asked Genesis, "Based on blood types alone, shouldn't this naturally be incompatible with anyone who doesn't share her blood type?"

Lucrecia cleared her throat. "That might have been a point if there were multiple blood types involved. For SOLDIERs, there are only two."

"Eh?" said Genesis.

"Blood Type J, or Blood Type Jenova if you will, is what SOLDIERs have in varying degrees," explained Lucrecia, "Aerith is correct in what Jenova does to a person. It changes their inner chemistry in subtle ways..."

"Subtle is Jenova's way until she's ready to act," warned Aerith crossly.

Lucrecia paused briefly to turn to Aerith. "I keep forgetting, as an Ancient, you actually have more knowledge about Jenova than we do, don't you?"

Aerith frowned. "I wouldn't say more, I'd just say different. You probably know more scientifically about her than I do, but spiritually, and what she _IS_ and represents, I probably know more."

"Perhaps you could answer a few...," began Lucrecia.

"One thing at a time mother," interrupted Sephiroth, "I recognize a scientist about to ramble on, finish the blood discussion or we'll never get an answer. "

Lucrecia blushed furiously for a moment. "Y-yes of course. As I was saying, Jenova changes your cells, including your blood cells. Those who were born with her cells, such as you and Angeal, have a more pure form of J-Type blood and cells. While those who are infected after the fact, like in the SOLDIER process or other experiments such as what was done with myself, have a more _impure_ variant."

"Pure is a matter of perspective if Jenova is treated as a virus," said Sephiroth calmly, "One could also, grimly, say that we are the most tainted."

Aerith couldn't help but give the man a sad look. Was that how he now saw himself? It was a complete flip from the One-Winged Angel who saw himself as a god, but she couldn't say it was honestly better.

Lucrecia tilted her head in acknowledgement. "Perhaps, but as I was saying, those who are not born with it differ in it's 'purity', however, the reaction we have seen in brief tests with Aerith's blood, is still the same. It wipes out Jenova, with extreme prejudice I might add, and then restores and alters the cells to a more healthy and resistant state."

"Alters?" questioned Sephiroth.

Lucrecia hesitated. "The cells are left with a change to their DNA. Attempts to re-introduce Jenova Cells results in the destruction of the J-Cells. The J-Cells cannot even begin to infect the treated Cells, they are rejected and destroyed. It's like the perfect antibody. Those who bare her blood are made completely immune to Jenova, among other things."

Aerith's eyes furrowed. "What do you mean? 'Other things'?"

Lucrecia hesitated. "Perhaps you can answer it, and other questions for me. Aerith, your blood, your cells, are different, greatly different, than the records we have of your birth mother's, and even samples taken from when you... previously resided in Shinra."

Aerith frowned uneasily. She knew she had been changed when she had been sent back in time, 'touched by the Avatar' Minerva as the planet had said. What that actually meant in scientific terms, she didn't have a clue.

"What I have been able to see, from the sample we have from before your mako infusion, was that this 'change' had happened very recently," explained Lucrecia, "You were being changed as you waited here in Shinra for Veld to investigate what you had told him. Very few of your normal cells remained, even before you were mako infused."

Aerith answered half-honestly. "I don't really know what happened, I think the planet 'did' something to me when it gave me it's visions, but I can't really go more specific than that."

She noticed that Sephiroth was staring at her with slightly narrowed eyes and did her best not to meet them.

"Can you ask it?" asked Lucrecia, "Get it to speak and explain..."

"The planet really doesn't 'talk' like you think it does," said Aerith, "It doesn't hold full fledged conversations, it's not sentient in the way you or I are, and trying to bridge that gap and actually communicate is difficult, time consuming, and energy consuming."

"I see," said Lucrecia, disappointed.

"To be honest, up until the visions happened, it never talked with actual words. Most of the time it just sent feelings, incoherent and hard to decipher images, or vague desires," said Aerith, "It's desperate now, and doing what it has to do to save itself."

"How does the Goddess figure into this?" asked Genesis eagerly.

"The Goddess Minerva was... is... the avatar of the planet," explained Aerith with hesitance, "I don't fully understand what her entire function was. In the visions, I never interacted with her until I was dead and in the lifestream, and even then, she wasn't exactly talkative, she came and went at her own will."

"As a goddess should," said Genesis smugly.

Angeal and Sephiroth rolled their eyes and sighed simultaneously.

"Confirming the Goddess exists and apparently 'chose him' is the single worst thing you ever did Aerith," said Angeal with chagrin, "The way he goes on and on in private..."

Genesis scoffed and glared at him before going smug. "Well, we can't all be chosen by the Goddess."

Sephiroth had an exasperated, if but amused look on his face before he masked it and turned to Lucrecia. "Back to the topic of the Ancient's blood."

Aerith resisted the urge to glare at him. She was starting to grow a little annoyed at just being 'the Ancient' or 'Ancient'. She DID have a name.

"As I was saying, Aerith's blood is... unique," said Lucrecia, "It still is distinctly 'Ancient', but not in the way her Mother was, or she used to be. If it truly was the planet... or it's Goddess, that did this to her, turned her blood into a cure. I doubt it's something science could replicate unless we were walked through it step by step."

"Is that a problem?" asked Sephiroth.

"Technically, as long as Aerith is alive, no, but having a way to artificially make this 'cure' would make things a lot more easy on her," explained Lucrecia before she gave Aerith a sympathetic look, "The only source of this 'cure' is Aerith herself, as such, she's going to have to continually return here to donate blood and cell samples."

Sephiroth tilted his head in consideration, eyes briefly flickering to Aerith, before slowly nodding. "I see."

The blood bag filled a moment latter, and Lucrecia withdrew the needle from Aerith's arm, dabbing the spot with a cotton ball with some kind of ointment on it. Aerith felt a little lightheaded, but, it wasn't unbearable.

"So... how much of that has to go in me?" asked Zack.

Lucrecia paused at that. "I'm... not actually certain. Aerith?"

Aerith shrugged. "Beats me."

"Well, I don't think you'll need the entire thing, but a small sample might not be enough. I suppose a syringe will serve as the starting point," said Lucrecia, filling one and moving over to Zack.

Angeal moved over to stand next to Zack, putting a hand on his shoulder, Zack gave him a confident smirk before turning to Lucrecia. "Alright doc, hit me."

Lucrecia raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you wish to be awake for this?"

Zack nodded. "Yep."

With that, Lucrecia shooed Aerith off the table, had Zack roll up his shirt, placed a hand on his chest, and injected the syringe directly into his heart. They watched patiently for about a minute as nothing happened.

Then Zack tilted his head, a odd look crossing his face. "What is..."

Zack flinched, like a jolt of electricity had zapped him. He yelped loudly and clutched a hand to his chest over his heart, his face scrunched up, looking like a cross between being uncomfortable and in pain. Aerith watched, eyes widened, as a barely visible kind of black smoke rose out Zack and started to dissipate into the air. She knew what it was in reality, it was anything but smoke. She had seen it visibly in the air when Cloud and the One Winged Angel had dueled the first time the man had restored himself with Reunion. It was tainted lifestream. Instantly she understood. The planet wasn't trying to purify or heal the lifestream within people that Jenova had infected, it was purging it. Removing and destroying it before replacing it with something resistant to the taint. The planet was _done_ with healing, it was cutting off the infection and removing it.

"Oh wow," wheezed Zack, "I feel _that_ burn. Walking up the stairs has _nothing_ on this."

Angeal gave a nervous, but slightly relieved laugh. "That so?"

Zack nodded, holding out his hands and watching the little streams of black smoke rise out of him and fade. "To quote Reno: This is wack yo."

Aerith blinked a few times. Zack knew Reno?

"While we're waiting for this 'process' to finish, could you explain more about Jenova?" asked Lucrecia, "How was she fought in these 'visions'? This could be important."

Sephiroth nodded and slightly leaned forward. "Indeed."

"I... never properly explained that I suppose," said Aerith nervously, "In the visions, we never actually fought Jenova under her own will."

Sephiroth gave her a perplexed look. "Explain."

"Jenova's will was supplanted by... the One-Winged Angel," explained Aerith, "She was not in control at any point after she initially drove you insane, even when her original form was reconstructed. That's why I'm nervous about this whole process. If she wakes up, facing Jenova, the real actual Jenova, will be far different than facing the One-Winged Angel."

"Wait, this Jenova thing drove Seph...," began Zack.

"We'll explain it all later Zack," said Angeal, "Hush."

"Different how?" asked Sephiroth, ignoring the others, his eyes narrowing at Aerith.

"The One-Winged Angel was one being," she explained, "He acted through Jenova's body yes, but he was only fought a handful of times. Jenova..."

Aerith's face contorted with disgust and anger. "Jenova is a _virus_. An awful awful monstrous sentient virus _THING_."

"You're going to have to be a little more detailed than that," said Genesis dryly.

Aerith sighed. "Jenova is an active infection is how I can best explain it. She first appeared two-thousand years ago, arriving on a meteor that heavily wounded the planet. The Ancients tried to heal the planet, but in drawing close to the wound, they made themselves vulnerable. She... _it_... first approached the Cetra as a friend, deceiving them, taking on the appearance of dead loved ones. Once it got close, it gave them 'the virus', her cells, and infected them. They were driven insane and turned into monsters, all controlled by Jenova's will. She spread across nearly all the Cetra clans, my ancestors were the only ones to survive, who managed to seal her away."

"U-uh...," said Zack, the color draining out of his face, "That's scary."

"So what you're saying is that if Jenova ever becomes active, it won't be as a singular dangerous enemy, but as a widespread pandemic?" asked Sephiroth.

Aerith hesitatingly nodded. "I think so, but truthfully, I don't know, it could be both from all I know. All I have from her original arrival and destruction of the Cetra are stories. Her actual strategies, and what was used to try and combat her, I haven't a clue about. I don't even know how she was originally sealed away."

"That topic, the 'sealing', poses an interesting question," said Lucrecia, "If Jenova works as you say, and infected the vast majority of the Cetra, then how did sealing away it's core body deal with the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of infected individuals? All Shinra dug up was one single body after all."

Aerith blinked a few times, that was a damn good question. "I... don't know. It also presents another problem, because when someone with Jenova in them dies, the lifestream within them is tainted. This taint can be purified overtime so long as there isn't an active will controlling it, but..."

"It's best Jenova's core body is found and disposed off without waking it up so we don't have to worry about that," finished Lucrecia.

"Agreed," said Aerith.

They all paused when the black smoke finally stopped coming out of Zack. He looked himself over, a hint of a frown on his face.

"Feel any different?" asked Angeal.

Zack had a deep serious look on his face for a moment before he smirked and perked up. "Nope! Good as ever!"

Angeal snorted. "Well, he's not dead or dying, so I say it works."

Genesis spoke up, "If we're done talking about the 'alien', what were you saying about having an idea for my 'supposed' degradation?"

Aerith hesitated. "Well..."

"Why can't the Goddess just do what she did in your future voodoo stuff?" asked Zack.

Genesis saved her from having to lie. "Because I have not _earned_ her favor as my counterpart must have."

Sephiroth cleared his throat. "The cure?"

Aerith licked her lips. "I have a way to cure him, but, I'm unsure as to when to use it."

"What do you mean, when?" asked Genesis.

"When Minerva healed you before, you were on your last legs, you had been degrading for years, carrying on through sheer strength of will...," began Aerith.

"Don't I believe that," said Angeal with a laugh, "Gens to stubborn to die."

Genesis glared at him, but couldn't stop himself from smirking.

Aerith cleared her throat. "The point is, your body was 'imperfectly' given Jenova Cells, it's unstable, it's tearing itself apart in an attempt to reject the Jenova cells. My knowledge of science isn't really... good... but, you were healed after you had degraded to a certain point. I don't know if that has to actually happen or not."

Genesis went silent, a hint of a frown on his face. "Hmm."

"One would think fixing a problem would be easier before it starts to cascade and fail," said Sephiroth.

"That's the thing, I don't know," said Aerith, "The method I want to use isn't something that can be used willy-nilly. There will be a significant downtime, as in years, between uses unless I want to significantly drain the planet's reserves. Which means if it doesn't work this time, he's stuck degrading for awhile."

Sephiroth's eyes furrowed. "Just what are you planning on using to 'cure' him?"

"Holy," was all she said in response.

Sephiroth frowned. "Holy?"

Aerith kept her lips tightly sealed. She remembered Chaos scolding her about revealing it before, she didn't want that a second time, especially when those in-front of her were still connected to Jenova in some way. The term 'Holy' might not be known to Jenova, but if she actually pulled out the Materia, it might cause a reaction...

Which also presented a problem when she actually had to go and use Holy on Genesis. Hrm...

Well, she'd cross that bridge when it came to it.

Sephiroth must have figured out she wasn't going to answer, he scowled intently. "I'm sure Genesis, and the rest of us, would appreciate you using this 'Holy' before he begins to degrade before our very eyes and fall apart. I'd rather not have to have my friend go through that kind of hell if at all possible."

Genesis gave Sephiroth a brief, if but surprised look, appearing startled but pleased by the proclamation. " _My friend, your desire, is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess_."

Sephiroth grunted in response, but didn't look away from Aerith. "Well?"

"I guess... it's up to Genesis really," said Aerith, "While I don't want him to suffer, it's his risk, his choice. He wont have this option again for a couple of years after it's been used."

Genesis didn't seem phased. "So be it. Do it now if you so wish. I'll not suffer this 'degradation' if I don't have to, and if I do because of my haste, so be it."

"Well, we can't do it here," said Aerith.

"Where then?" demanded Genesis.

Aerith pursed her lips, memories of the destination, of a blade through her chest, haunting her mind. "We'll have to go to the Forgotten Capital..."


	9. Pain of the Past, Prayers for the Future

_**Chapter 9 - Pain of the Past, Prayers for the Future  
**_

* * *

Aerith doesn't pay attention as Angeal quietly briefs Zack on the full truth of the matter, about the Jenova Project, Project S and G. She stares out of the helicopter that she, Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis are being flown in by Tseng. It's strange, in a way. The first time she had gone for the Forgotten Capital, it had been with a sense of hope and determination. Now it was a trip of dread. A knot in her stomach, a tension in her entire body, because she knew what she was going to have to do.

She was going to have to go to the alter.

Hop across the steps.

Kneel down.

And pray for Holy...

Right on the spot where she had been run through and killed.

A slight shudder rips through her body, and for a moment, her stomach hurts with intense phantom pain. Why? Why was this... intensity... running through her mind? She had been unhappy about dying, true, but... it hadn't affected her like this in the lifestream...

Oh.

Right.

Lifestream. Surrounded by the souls of those who had come before her, wrapped warmly in the cradle of the Planet, comforted in the Promised Land. The place of supreme happiness, where earthly matters didn't have so much weight, except for Jenova and Seph... er... 'the One-Winged Angel'. She recognized she had never _dealt_ with the fact she had died, just shoved it aside, because it didn't matter. She had been dead, and that was all there was to it. Now? Not so much.

How does one deal with actually being dead? For years? And then coming back? It's funny because most people would want to be alive, do anything to return to life if they died and somehow retained their consciousness. Herself? It was the opposite. Goddess... being a part of the Lifestream was pure bliss.

There was no pain.

No more suffering or worries.

Except when everything went wrong the last time the One-Winged Angel performed Reunion.

The time he finally put his arrogance aside, and fought Cloud, fought AVALANCHE, _seriously_.

And killed them all.

She leaned her head against the helicopter window with a soft thud. Is it wrong to wish she was still dead, in the Planet's embrace, not having to even consider these issues? When she still has so much work left to do? Or is it that? She was willing to do this, didn't really have a choice in the matter if she was honest, but did she really _want_ to do this? Goddess, it had been terrifying to watch Cloud and the other's face down the One-Winged Angel and his Jenova puppet. Doing it herself? Fighting the actual Calamity in control of itself if everything went wrong and it woke up?

There are _no words_ for the dread in her stomach.

Cloud and the other's were always worried about the One-Winged Angel. They never realized what the true danger was, that his will overpowering Jenova actually _helped_ _them_. It limited the Calamity to his desires and strategies, his plans, his will. The One-Winged Angel _HAD BEEN_ incredibly dangerous, that was true, he _**DID** _ win after all in the end. He was more powerful than Jenova was. Raw strength and will wasn't everything though. The One-Winged Angel's plans had always been pretty straight forward.

Reunion.

Use the Black Materia.

Become a god by absorbing the lifestream at the wound when Meteor hit.

Or...

Revive and constantly throw himself at Cloud after his remnants or whatever he used to revive himself that time brought him back.

Jenova on the other hand was _insidious_.

It might have been the One-Winged Angel's power that won in the end, but he never would have existed without Jenova. Could never have pulled himself and reformed out of the Lifestream again and again without the abilities granted unto him from her cells. Jenova could be subtle, in ways the One-Winged Angel never was or could be. Jenova could plot, scheme, deceive, infect and twist, and so much more. The One-Winged Angel could influence his remnants or those with his S-Cells, but she doubted he could control and direct hundreds of thousands of beings infected with J-Cells at the same time like Jenova herself was capable of.

Jenova was not human.

Not in the slightest.

She was an cunning extra-terrestrial sentient adaptable virus-parasitical planetcidal entity that could absorb any traits or memories of those it encountered. It did not think, nor act, in ways humans, or Ancients, could fathom. Killing it's physical body didn't even work, because of it's cells being able to infect the Lifestream. _HOW_ her ancestors actually managed to defeat...

No.

That's not right.

The Ancients did _not_ defeat Jenova.

They didn't even break even.

They had a pyrrhic victory at best. Sealing her away was not a win, in all honesty, Jenova had crushed the Ancients. Beaten them so badly that their civilization had fallen, dwindled down in numbers until Aerith was all that was left. All her ancestors had done was put Jenova off for another day, another generation, to fight. The problem was, _no lessons were learned_ to help the next generations. Great Gospel, and whatever the Goddess and the Planet had done to Aerith's cells and blood, were the only new things in the fight against the Calamity. She didn't even know if she could still use the variant of Great Gospel she had used from the Lifestream, empowered by the planet. So in reality, Aerith herself was the only new thing.

Sad to say, Sephiroth going insane and subjugating Jenova was one of the better scenarios. AVALANCHE had held him off and won many victories against him. He had been fairly straightforward, though, there was nothing safe in that fact, since he was still deadly even if they knew he was coming and knew what he wanted.

Jenova however was _**THE** _ worst case scenario.

Well... to be fair. Jenova controlling all of SOLDIER including the trio would be the worst case scenario. The Calamity without control of her three 'children' wouldn't be as much of a nightmare, but still bad.

But...

With the trio on her side, and a cleansed SOLDIER...

How would that fare in an open conflict? She knew that Jenova infected beings exhibited increased strength, but that wouldn't match SOLDIER, at least not one on one. Still... if it came down to say... an infected city the size of Midgar or Junon against SOLDIER, how would that pan out?

Could SOLDIER win against such overwhelming numbers?

Could the Planet handle that much infected Lifestream if those numbers were cleansed?

She brought up a fingernail to gnaw on. She was not a battle planner, nor a general. Weighing such odds in her mind was an alien concept to her. And a nerve wracking one. Especially since in such a scenario, she'd be in the middle of that battle, killing innocent people who no longer had free will, enslaved and infected by the Calamity... who would never find peace and absolution and rebirth in the Lifestream.

There were no winners in such a conflict.

"Do you actually have a plan, or are you just making it up as you go?" came Genesis's drawling voice.

Aerith blinked a few times, pulling herself out of her bleak thoughts. "Pardon?"

Genesis snorted. "If I didn't know any better, watching you hit your head against the window racking your brain for something, I'd think you made me an empty promise and are trying to figure out how to come through."

Aerith gave him a disbelieving look, and was very tempted to ignore the fear and uncertainty emanating from the man and vent her own such feelings at him. She didn't however, as much as he didn't show it, he was very insecure about the idea of degrading. She could imagine she hadn't been giving out a very confident vibe at the moment, and he had called her out correctly, just not on the right topic.

"You're degradation isn't a problem," she said simply, "Other issues aren't so clear cut."

Genesis crossed his arms and glared at her. "Oh, so glad you take degradation and going insane so seriously. _Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul._ "

Aerith rolled her eyes and returned to staring out the window, silent, her lips pressed tightly closed. They were closing in on the Northern Continent now, it wouldn't be more than half an hour until they reached their destination. Funny thing about helicopters. Flying over the Sleeping Forest worked wonders for circumventing its magic. Her ancestors never considered the aerial approach. She wondered if that was how it fell to Jenova thousands of years ago.

"Penny for your thoughts?" came Zack's voice, his foot sliding over to nudge hers.

Her eyes briefly flickered towards Zack, noting the concern on his face, and couldn't help but notice the others all watching her. She closed her eyes briefly, and took a moment to forcibly relax herself. Her shoulders stopped tensing, her fists stopped clenching, her face stooped scrunching up in serious thought and apprehension, and she leaned back against the helicopter seat.

"Just thinking about the future," was all she said before closing her eyes.

"The future will come at it's own pace," said Sephiroth, "Think on it, prepare for it, but don't let it dominate your mind or you will find yourself consumed by it."

Aerith opened her eyes to briefly meet his, staring at him silently. Wise words she supposed, especially from one so young. It kept surprising her to hear such things from him. She really knew next to nothing about who he had truly been before madness took him. The few times she discussed pre-Nibelheim Sephiroth in the Lifestream with _her_ Zack didn't do him justice, he had already been damaged and withdrawn from losing Genesis and Angeal.

She gave him a brief nod and re-closed her eyes, silently listening to the sound of the helicopter blades swooshing through the air. The landed on the outskirts of the Forgotten Capital. The trip had been long, and the day already mostly spent, night was quickly falling, the atmosphere so similar to her final hours of life in her other life. For a moment, she saw a ghost, an echo of her older self, walking through the ruins. Then... Sephi... 'The One-Winged Angel', following silently, watching, waiting, Masamune in his hand, cold hard madness in his eyes.

Her face paled at the sight, and she abruptly shook her head, banishing the vision and steeling herself, to little avail. She started walking down the broken pathways. Ghosts of AVALANCHE danced across her eyes, her old and gone friends, coming in search of her... oh Cloud... Tifa... Barrett... Nanaki... Yuffie... _her_ Vincent... Cid... even Cait Sith...

A tremor went down her arms, a ragged breath escaped her lips. She shook her head again and picked up the pace.

"Dude, is she okay?" she faintly heard Zack whisper, "Something's seriously not right with her."

"I don't know," came Angeal's hushed response.

She tuned them out. Right now, she couldn't care less what they thought. This place... it was far more painful to be here than she could possibly imagine. Her chest where Masamune had run her through was aching, growing worse and worse each step she drew closer to her destination. She walked down the center path, through the narrow pathway to...

She froze briefly at the lake, where Cloud had laid her body to rest...

Nervously stared at the shell house, whose depths she had died in...

She forced herself to walk inside. She circled around the railing, touching it and sending a tendril of her power to activate the translucent staircase downward to the alter.

"Woah," said Zack.

"Shush," came Genesis's soft voice, "This is... a sacred place, be civil here and quiet."

"Sacred?" came Angeal's confused response.

Aerith slowly began walking down towards the alter, her memories playing havoc on her mind. She saw herself walking in front of her, and moved to match each step. Down and down she went, on the staircase made of Ancient power and magic. The others followed silently behind her. She could feel Zack's awe to the place around them. The trio were far more serious. She didn't know if it was her reaction to this place that set them off, but they were wary, as if expecting danger.

The danger had come and gone, death with it, in another life.

She passed through the old hut before the alter, to the final stairway, and then paused briefly as the alter. For a moment, she saw herself already there, in her pink clothes, hair tied back in a ribbon, kneeling down to pray for Holy. A ghostly Cloud started leaping across one step after another towards the alter, and she moved to follow.

She paused briefly to say hoarsely. "S-stay here."

She crossed, one jump at a time, until she came to the foot of an alter. She walked up the steps, each footfall echoing heavily through the air. The phantom pain in her chest flaring with each step closer. She brought a hand up to clench her chest as she stood infront of the spot where she had knelt. She felt tears start to slip down her face, soft 'plunks' as they hit the glass. She couldn't bring herself to turn kneel down, she simply stood there and stared at the spot where her life had ended, her heart pounding in her head.

She may have loved being in the Lifestream, but death... her death...

She watched, as an echo of Cloud appeared, struggling with himself, with the will of the 'One-Winged Angel'. He came so close to actually killing her, if not for his friends words, he might not have stopped. She watched herself open her eyes with surprise, then smiling at Cloud, and then... then...

The One-Winged Angel descended from the heavens and ran her through, the shock, surprise, and agony on her ghost self's face echoed through her as her life faded, and the pain in her chest was debilitating...

She wasn't sure how long she stood there, struggling with herself, it may have been minutes, it may have been hours, but finally, she forced herself to move to the spot, turn, and kneel down to pray. She briefly saw hints of surprise, confusion, and concern when they caught sight of her tear-stained face, but she closed her eyes to block them out. She took a ragged breath, took Holy out of her pocket, clasped her hands around it, and prayed.

She prayed for Genesis...

For the light to heal him...

For a pillar of strength, a friend, for Sephiroth to lean on to maintain himself...

To avert a tragedy before it could begin...

To stop his madness before it could cause so much harm...

To stop the cascade of events that lead up the Nibelheim...

To stop the endless battles AVALANCHE had fought against the One-Winged Angel...

In truth, she prayed for more than just him...

She prayed for a chance to change the future.

And Holy answered.

A shine flashed out of her hands, and without the One-Winged Angel's power to suppress it, she felt Holy rush out of the Planet. The lake beneath their feat, all around them, began to dance with teal translucent light. The others were pushed away from Genesis as Holy burst out of the lake in a torrent of light and wrapped around the man. To his credit, he showed no fear, only a wonder she didn't think she had ever seen on his face. The energy lifted him, and wrapped him in a cocoon of light, blocking him from sight and swirling around him. It took only mere minutes, when it was finished, the light slowly set him down and faded away.

Genesis stood there, almost exactly as he had before, some would say exactly as he was if they didn't pay attention to detail. His skin had tanned so ever slightly, reversing the beginning of a paleness most would not have noticed starting. There was extra focus and sharpness in his eyes where there hadn't been before. His posture, ever so slightly more straight. A minor tension across his body had relaxed and faded away. There was a soft smile on the man's face as he examined himself. She could see that the other two of the trio saw what she did, and they seemed almost stricken, self-reproach and disbelief on their faces. So in tune with the planet right now, she could clearly hear the thoughts echoing through both of their minds:

 _"He was my friend, and I didn't even notice what was happening to him."_

"Gift of the Goddess indeed, you don't realize how off you were until the rust falls away," he muttered, clenching and relaxing his hands, "I dread to think how awful it would have been to really start degrading if this is how good I feel right now. Goddess, I didn't even realize it was happening now, I thought it started with the wound I eventually received..."

She couldn't help but pity the Genesis from her time at that. She wondered briefly what he must have felt to degrade like that, and then, for the Goddess herself to heal and bless him, freeing him from a heavy degradation so much worse than the one before her had started to feel. Speaking of feeling bad...

She felt awful tired all the sudden, drained.

Calling Holy took a lot out of her. She had died before it had set in last time, but oh, was there a deep ache she knew she would be feeling tomorrow, probably for longer. She pocketed Holy and adjusted her legs, sitting against the back of the alter, propping up a knee to wrap her arms around. She placed her forehead against her knee and closed her eyes, taking some time to rest while the others appraised the 'new and improved' Genesis...

She frowned briefly, feeling an odd difference to his presence. It was strange, something almost... 'ancient'... to him. Yet at the same time not. She paused, raising an eyebrow, when she heard the Planet giggle softly in the back of her mind. She slowly shook her head, let the Planet do as it wanted. It obviously had something in mind for the man, whatever role it wanted him to play, she'd find out in time she supposed.

She could hear the light sound of someones feet crossing the stepping pillars to the alter, and then a soft patter up the steps of the alter itself.

"Thank you for helping him," came Sephiroth's soft voice.

Aerith didn't react to his words, at least, not right away. To have him so close to her in a spot where they had been in a different life, giving gratitude instead of death was... an unusual sensation. The past life won out though, discomfort set across her immediately, she... didn't want him here... as unfair as it was to a Sephiroth who had not committed the crime.

"You're welcome, I... need some time to rest, explore the Forgotten Capital if you so wish," she said, hoping he'd take the hint to leave.

He did no such thing. Instead, a quietness filled the air. She could feel his curious eyes upon her.

"What is this place to you?" he asked.

She tensed, a shiver running through her body. She contemplated not telling him.

Contemplated lying.

Contemplated smudging the truth.

Contemplated telling him to leave.

Instead, she slowly raised her forehead off her knee, and met his gaze with her own, whatever he saw in her eyes caused him, a man of such control, to briefly flinch, before she spoke the four words she dreaded to say, said them with painful intensity and a hollowness, "It's where I died."

His eyes widened slightly, a stillness coming over his body, conflict crossed his face, guilt, apprehension, shame, and anger, before the mask came back over, forcing them away. "I see."

The man slowly turned and started to walk away. "We'll return in an hour."

She nodded absentmindedly, closed her eyes, and felt herself drift away. In a place so treasured by the Planet, it embraced her with murmurs of comfort, lulling her into a gentle sleep with the sound of the Lifestream flowing through the back of her mind and the soothing sound of the lake around her...

* * *

 _ **Review Responses**_ :

 _NocturneX : Aerith hasn't even started missions yet, it'll be a bit._

 _Izanagi Basara : Yeah, unfortunately, a lot of the good ones are unfinished. I so want 'Once More With Feeling' to finish._

 _Tocasia : Well, everything can't go Aerith's way. Has to be a balance of to and fro. The future will change from what she had, but there will be heavy prices to pay for it. What those are? Time will tell._

Sakurablossomhime: I deeply dislike stories that are written JUST for the smut/sex/coupling. Sephiroth/Aerith will come eventually, but in time with buildup to it to have meaning. Even regardless of that, the story isn't built just for them, it has it's own purpose and tale to tell outside of just these two, even if they are perhaps the two most important characters in it.


	10. Quiet Musings

Chapter 10 - Quiet Musings

* * *

 _"It's where I died."_

Sephiroth's lips twitched in displeasure as the Ancient's words echoed in his mind again. He walked up the steps away from the underwater alter, trailing behind his friends rather than leading for once. He had much to think about, and much still to understand.

 _"It's where I died."_

Four words that ruined the wonder of this place for him. Ruined the satisfaction of seeing Genesis restored to his prime from a fall that had been happening under his nose. Ruined any good mood he might have had. It was nothing he could truly fault her for, in fact, he was grateful, and impressed, by her honesty. It made sense now, her dread and anxiety coming to this place, the pain.

 _"It's where I died."_

He was starting to grow a bit... wary... of her explanation about 'visions'. Something was off about it. There was to much _very real_ pain in her motions, in her eyes. He was hesitant to doubt anything he did not truly understand, and there was much he had to learn about the Ancients, but the reactions and sensations emanating from the woman felt to strong to be a result of visions. Even IF she said the visions had been as if she lived through them.

 _"It's where I died."_

He resisted the urge to growl. Those four words were going to haunt him if he didn't acknowledge them, and the words she hadn't said.

 _"It's where you killed me."_

She would never say those words aloud again, as much as she had every right to. She was to kind and considerate to voice them, despite the truth in them. She could deny it all she want, say that it was the 'One-Winged Angel' and not him every time, but the truth could not be hidden. It still resided in her reaction. The discomfort that had emanated from her when he drew close to her on the alter. He had not been welcome there. She did not dissociate him and his 'vision self'. How he _loathed_ that other self. He fought and killed when he had to, it was his lot in life, but he tried to keep innocent casualties to a bare minimum. Killing innocents, especial one so pure, in cold blood, madness or not, was damning.

Would that deed always hang over him, to be reminded again and again whenever her eyes laid on him?

He glanced back down briefly, at the alter far below. He was not religious, but even he had to agree with what Genesis had said. This place felt 'sacred' on his senses, hallowed. He was not one to gape in awe at anything, but such a wondrous place came close to making him do so. He was curious how exactly the Ancients created an underwater alter that was not engulfed by the lake, but he figured that knowledge had been lost. To kill the innocent in such a place was even worse, to spill pure blood across an alter of prayer. He cringed briefly at the thought that his 'vision self' had most likely killed her mid-prayer as well, disgraceful and unbecoming of a warrior.

"So... is this place safe to explore at night?" questioned Zack as they reached the top of the spiral translucent staircase.

"You're a SOLDIER, have some spine," mocked Genesis, "I'm more than eager to test myself out."

"Be careful when you do so," said Sephiroth, "This place should be disturbed as little as possible."

Genesis tilted his head in acknowledgement before an eager glint hit his eyes. "Agreed. I'll hold off on showing off until... say a spar tomorrow?"

Sephiroth smirked. "I look forward to it."

With that, Genesis strode out of the shell house, Zack moving to follow before he paused at the door. He turned to Angeal, who motioned him out.

The man turned to him after Zack left. "Seph... I heard what she said, it's not your fault."

Sephiroth gave him a pointed look. "Isn't it? I'm not going to wallow in guilt if that is your concern. I acknowledge that the deed was done, or would have been done. It simply irks me."

Angeal raised an eyebrow. "Irks? Something 'irking' you don't make you brood like you were walking up."

Sephiroth shot him an irritated look. "Ever since she appeared, I've wished I could wave away her words as fanciful delusions, but I see and feel nothing but truths in her words and eyes. There is no denying it, there's been no denying it for some time now, especially after seeing _that_ display. I did not even notice that Genesis wasn't in top form anymore, what would it have taken? That wound she spoke of? His skin unnaturally paling, his hair blighting and falling out, him going insane?"

Angeal took a step forward and put an comforting hand on his shoulder. "I didn't see it either Seph, and her words, my 'deeds' in her vision, if that's what it truly was, weigh on me as well."

Sephiroth brooded for a moment, lowering his guard in front of perhaps the only one in the world he truly trusted doing so with, Genesis would playfully mock him for it and not take it seriously. "The end of a world weighing on one's shoulders, the slaughter of innocents, is not something I desire on my conscience. That child's death... I have never met someone who simply radiates innocence and purity to my senses like she does, who cares so readily for those who do not deserve it. Her blood on my hands... it reminds me of early Wutai, the villages..."

Angeal winced and looked away. That was a topic they almost never talked about. Simply put, Sephiroth had been a twelve year old _boy_ given a sword and thrust into a battlefield with the orders to kill the Wutai insurgents. For all the things that had been crammed into his head, the difference between a civilian and a combatant hadn't been one of them. Shinra hadn't considered it important enough to point out the disparity, hadn't thought they needed to. Fools, he had been living in the labs as a damn experiment most of his life, under Hojo's eyes, HOJO'S! A man who didn't care who he experimented on. How was that boy supposed to have known? To him, that foolish twelve year old boy, both civilians and combatants stopped moving, 'died', just as easily as the other.

He could still remember that look of utter horror and fear on his allies faces when they came across the carnage. Most wouldn't come near him. Thankfully, Angeal had, Angeal had shown him, told him, explained to him the difference. Taught him honor, right and wrong in ways that he had never learned in the labs. Bless that man, for Sephiroth didn't honestly know where he'd be without Angeal.

' _Insane and out destroying the world_ ' crawled through his head for a moment, making him scowl in irritation. He banished the self-loathing and refocused on something Angeal had said...

He frowned. "'If that's what it was'. Yes, that troubles me just as much."

Angeal gave him a tight smile. "Ah, so I'm not the only one. I know you and Genesis thought she was hiding something, but I didn't know you pinpointed her 'visions'."

"The Ancient speaks with such honesty it's very easy to tell when she's lying, hiding something, or speaking a partial truth," said Sephiroth, "I've replayed every conversation we've had with her in my head in my spare time, picking apart things that don't make sense, or hint at something. The ride over, and seeing her reactions to this place was... enlightening."

"Yes, her... reactions...," murmured Angeal, a heavy contemplative frown plastered across his face, "They're to strong. Far to strong. Ever since I saw her freak out at Zack it's rubbed me wrong. I actually looked into the subject a few days ago. Not that most people have 'visions'. The closest accounts I've gotten was drug induced hallucinations. Those are vague, hard to remember, and most certainly do not make you feel like you lived through them. Real visions have... well... no basis to be honest. It's not a human thing, the only confirmation we have that it was a vision is her own word."

Sephiroth turned his head to silently stare at Angeal, but did not interrupt, wanting to hear the man's thoughts on the matter.

Angeal licked his lips. "She knows a lot, remember what your mother said, about her knowledge of highly classified projects among other things. She's been vague at times yes, but I don't think it's from a lack of detail."

Sephiroth nodded slowly. "I've also caught her once or twice referring to her vision's as 'what happened before'. As if..."

"As if they're memories?" asked Angeal, "As if she really went through them?"

Sephiroth nodded once more.

"It wouldn't be much of a stretch," admitted Angeal, "If it seemed like she lived through it to her as she said, dissociating between reality and a vision might be difficult."

Sephiroth tilted his head in acknowledgement. "True."

"But I don't know," murmured Angeal, "You... you can't fake love Sephiroth. Nor the pain of losing a loved one. What I saw from her, about Zack..."

He trailed off uncomfortably, leaving Sephiroth to toy with the idea. He had never experienced 'love', whether parental or for a significant other, so he couldn't really agree or disagree on it. Still, he trusted Angeal's word.

"Do you have any ideas?" prodded Sephiroth.

"None that aren't completely crazy," said Angeal with a laugh.

"Such as?" asked Sephiroth in a serious tone.

Angeal scratched the back of his head almost bashfully. "Well, she has knowledge of the future, and extreme emotional reactions to what happened. If the vision thing is in doubt, the only other thing I can think of is that she's from it."

Sephiroth raised a single eyebrow and responds in a neutral tone. "Time travel."

"Like I said," said Angeal, "Completely crazy."

"I'm amused," said Sephiroth, good natured, "To see the steadfast logical man suggest such a thing."

Angeal laughed again. "Yeah I know, it just jumped in my head."

Sephiroth let his amusement fade. "That doesn't mean I am dismissing the notion."

That caught Angeal off-guard. "What?"

"It is no less 'crazy' an idea than receiving a detailed vision of the future from 'the Planet'," said Sephiroth, "I have little to no knowledge of the Ancients or their abilities, nor that of the Planet's. Dismissing anything before fully ruling it out is foolish."

That ignores the issue of considering the Planet as a sentient entity. He was still trying to wrap his mind around that. Not to mention whatever this 'Holy' the Ancient had used to heal Genesis. The barrage of sensations that had ripped through Sephiroth when that power had nudged him and the other's back and wrapped around Genesis was still very fresh in his mind.

Sephiroth rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Though, I sorely hope time travel it isn't the truth."

"Why?" asked Angeal, concerned and curious.

"Because there is a difference between something that may have happened in the future, and something that did happen," explained Sephiroth wearily, "The first is a warning, the second is a sin so foul that time itself had to be circumvented. It means everything she told us we did, and what she hasn't told us yet, occurred."

Angeal is awfully silent all the sudden, his mind working over Sephiroth's words, a bit of color seeping out of the man's face. They stand there together, brooding for a time, until Angeal slowly shakes his head and makes for the door.

"I'll go check on Genesis and the pup, make sure they aren't burning the place down," murmured Angeal.

Sephiroth nodded. "I'll stand guard for the time being, leaving this place undefended when the Ancient rests and recovers seems... unwise."

Angeal nodded and left without another word. Sephiroth figured the man would be walking 'very' slowly to give himself time to think, to ponder, to brood alone. The notion that the man might have actually forced his apprentice to kill him is most likely a harrowing one. It was easy to dismiss a vision of something that 'might' happen, to tell himself 'I would never do that to Zack', but to consider the possibility that he actually did do it? That required self-reflection Angeal most likely hadn't had yet. He wasn't sure Angeal should be alone for such a difficult task, but he respected the man's privacy.

Sephiroth slowly shakes his head and returns to the present, leaving his musings for another time. He glances outside of the shell house, at the crystal clear lake. This is a... quiet and peaceful place. Such a location doesn't exist in Midgar, or rather, is an exceedingly unique find there. He had visited the Ancient's church in the slums once after reading the Turk's profile on her. It held a peace similar to this place, though not as deep. They had encountered no monsters on the way in, he honestly doubted there were any for the time being. It is a place away from conflict, away from paperwork, away from Shinra...

He finds he rather likes it. If he ever retires, a place like this might be suitable.

Then again, considering what was done here, the Ancient's blood spelt across that alter, he has no right to this place. He slowly shakes his head, annoyed again by the self-loathing thought. He had told the Ancient not to her concerns for the future consume her, that also applied to himself as well. He crossed his arms and tilted his head in thought. He played all that he had seen, heard, and sensed through his head since getting in the helicopter with the Ancient through his mind. There were several questions that popped through his mind.

How did the Ancient get here in her 'vision'? How old was she when she made this journey? Did she come alone?

He turned around and moved to the spiral translucent staircase, not to head down, but to glance down at the alter far below, the Ancient a distance dot. She was a mere child now, cusping at entry to her teenage years, not that he had that many years on her. He however had been trained since his early youth. Her? She had been a scrawny, untested, unprepared, unenhanced child who lived in the slums. He had a hard time imagining a child making such a journey alone, baring a helicopter ride. Yet, he had easily picked up her contempt for Shinra, he doubted it had been at their bidding. So then, how many years would have passed until she was capable of making that journey? What would she have had to gone through to steel herself for it? Ancient or not, monsters would tear such a opportune meal apart. He'd say at least a decade, giving her time to grow, placing her at roughly twenty-two years old. Even then... she leaned more towards pacifism from what he had read. Her shift towards a willingness to fight was only brought on by the 'vision'. In the original way of things... he had his doubts.

If she had allies however it was more feasible... but the thing of that was, how then did she die? He held no doubts anyone who fought for the Ancient would have given their life for her. Did they? Did they lay down their lives for her at the alter, only for a mad Sephiroth to carve a path through them? He leaned towards that idea, but he wasn't sure. He didn't dare ask anymore than he already had of her about this place, and what happened here. He had enough tact to know better.

He was tempted to ask more about her allies. The only name he had thus far was one 'Cloud'. Which could be a nickname, first name, last name, or even a code name. He didn't even have a gender to attribute. Trying to track that one down would be foolish with what little information he had. Though he was sorely tempted to. Simply put, anyone who had the will and courage to stand with the Ancient against an insane Sephiroth would be a most valuable ally to have.

Something to consider for the future he supposed.

He turned and strode to the entrance of the shell house once more, leaning against the doorway, standing guard until the others eventually returned.

Zack yawned as he followed in behind Angeal. "Man, its late. Shouldn't we be getting back? I'm all for all-nighters, but, I'd like at least three hours of sleep."

"Agreed," said Angeal.

"Well, someone go fetch the Ancient then," said Genesis.

Sephiroth waited a moment, hoping someone else would volunteer, but none did, seeming comfortable leaning against the house and trying to stare down one another into doing the deed. He slowly shook his head in bemusement and turned, making for the stairway down and descending. He felt... uncomfortable returning to the alter after learning what had been done here, but he was a practical man. One of them had to get the Ancient, judging by the exhaustion he had seen, she wasn't going to be waking on her own anytime soon.

Step by step he descended into the submerged sanctum, until he stood once again at the foot to the alter. He crossed, jumping from one step to the next until he reached his destination, walked up the steps, and stared down at the Ancient's sleeping form.

"Ancient," he said softly.

She didn't stir.

"Ancient," he tried again, in a normal tone.

Nothing.

"Ancient," he tried once again, in a raised tone.

She slept like the dead it seemed.

He was hesitant to shake her, waking her up in such a place with him so close would probably elect an instinctual response when she woke up startled. He half expected a scream of fear or a fist to lash out. Yet when he knelt down and gently shook her shoulder she didn't stir at all. Calling forth 'Holy' put her down for the count it seemed. With a sigh, he placed an arm under her legs, and his other behind her back, before lifting her up. He adjusted her head to rest against his chest rather than hang off the side or roll around. She wouldn't have appreciated waking up with a stiff or strained neck after all. He turned and strode from the alter, leaping across in one go, and making his way up the steps.

He reached the top and strode past the others without a word, ignoring both Angeal and Genesis's amused expressions. They walked quietly through the Forgotten Capital back to the helicopter. He put and buckled her inside before getting in himself, the other's piling in afterwords.

"Zackery, it would be appropriate for you to carry your roommate back to your room," said Sephiroth.

Zack gave a sleepy nod. "Yes sir, I'll give her a piggyback ride."

Sephiroth gave a curt not in return and closed his eyes, lightly dozing for the ride back, and he certainly wasn't the only one. SOLDIERs could stay awake for extended periods of time compared to normal humans, but, they still liked to rest and sleep when the opportunity presented itself. He said not a word as the helicopter landed and they all went there separate ways. He had a lot of paperwork he had to file for this sudden trip, the sooner he got that done, the sooner he could rest for the new day...

* * *

 ** _Review Responses :_**

 _Azure Shrine : Blame , I couldn't upload or save any documents for like the last month. Was super irritating. Could have worked on it on another site I suppose, but I don't like leaving one site behind the other, and I'm lazy. 'shrug'  
_

 _Rams : Thanks, a 'haunting' feeling was definitely what I was going for with that chapter (ish). I'm not actually sure what music I'd have playing during that chapter. Aerith's Theme is something that should be chosen carefully and rarely, its to powerful to use for every sad scene. 'You Can Hear the Cry of the Planet' would have been okay for that chapter maybe, idk._

 _Tocasia : Jenova is going to be the main antagonist for this story once it kicks into high gear. So we will get a firsthand view of just how scary the calamity truly is. When Aerith thought of the pillar of strength, she was referring to Genesis as Sephiroth's friend, but, she might be suprised to eventually fill that role herself IF Sephiroth needs it._


	11. Obsession (Part 1)

_**Chapter 11: Obsession (Part 1)  
**_

* * *

When Aerith awoke, it was with what felt like the worst hangover of her life. A sharp spiking pain behind her eyes, her magic reserves completely spent, and she even felt physically drained. Praying for and casting Holy took so much more out of her than she realized. Would it always be like this?

 **YOUNG. UNTESTED BODY. UNENDURING.**

Aerith jolted upright in her bed at the Planets obnoxiously and painfully loud voice, clutching her head. "Hng..."

Well... she had her answer. Mako or not, her body was far to weak to properly handle Holy and keep on going. If she had been in danger after using Holy, she would have been defenseless. Weak, weak weak weak! She rubbed her forehead and grumbled to herself. She was so tired of this, of being unable to do _anything_ on her own. Goddess, one of the others probably had to carry her back to the helicopter and to her room. She hoped no one outside of the group had seen it, she didn't need to be seen as a damsel in distress in SOLDIER, she'd never be taken seriously.

She sighed and swung her legs off the bed, pausing to see two bottles of Ether and a note from Zack left for her.

 _Thought you might need a pick-me-up after how wiped you were yesterday, cheers!_

 _-Zack_

 _P.S. Genesis is all over the place, he's been training (terrorizing) cadets even! Angeal's calling him Puppy 2.0! He's stealing my nickname! :(_

Aerith smiled softly, a gentle giggle escaping her lips. "Leave it to Zack to uplift the mood."

She sighed, downed the two bottles of Ether, and rose from the bed, headache lessening slightly. She grabbed a spare uniform, hopped in the shower, and was done in a quick five minutes (which she was proud of! Not including the times when Avalanche went stretches without a place to bathe, she had always taken way to long in her opinion in her original life, SOLDIERs couldn't take all day in one.). She glanced at a clock above the door and froze.

"Noon?!" she exclaimed, "Why didn't anyone wake me?"

Oh man... Crawford was going to give her hell for missing his training!

She was scrambling out the door and ran face first into Zack, both of them colliding and flopping down to the ground. "Woah! Morning there Aerith!"

"Sorry Zack," she said, scrambling to her feet, "I'm way way to late for training!"

"Erm," said Zack, scratching his head, "It's Saturday. No classes or training on the weekend unless you want to hit a gym or a training room something."

She paused mid-step, face turning red, "Oh... right..."

Zack pushed himself off the ground and gave her a cheeky grin. "Hey it's cool. I loose track of time, and the day, tons of times. Angeal always gives me crap about it."

Aerith gave him a small smile before frowning. "So... we don't have any duties or anything on the weekend?"

"Generally not when we're home and not out at Wutai. We can sometimes get assigned missions if they are critical, but we're given comp time for it," said Zack, "Just keep your PHS on you."

"Erm... I don't have a PHS," she said.

Zack cocked his head, baffled, "Huh? Did you not get one in orientation... oh right."

He grinned. "You didn't get one. So you probably don't have any of the stuff set up."

"Stuff...?" she asked.

"PHS, bank account, SOLDIER benefits, all that crap," said Zack with a wave of his hand, "They set you up pretty good when you enter SOLDIER, only gets better when you rise through the ranks."

Aerith didn't particularly care about money or benefits, but... who knows if they'd come in handy. "So... how would I get all that set up?"

Zack turned and started down the hall. "C'mon, I'll take you to Employee Services. Not a lot of people there today, but they have weekend coverage, I know the secretary."

Know apparently turned into having flirted with the young woman before. Aerith watched, a bit stunned, as Zack shamelessly used his adorable puppy eyes and irresistible charm to woo the secretary into helping Aerith out as a favor. Gosh... had Zack really been such a flirt? He _better_ not have flirted with other girls when they had been dating in her previous life. Couldn't of course ask _her_ Zack that question. It was still a bit... jarring... to see how much her first love had been such a ladies man. Perhaps she had just been naive when she was younger, but Zack had made her feel so special... how long had it taken she wondered, for her to become someone he loved rather than just another interest...

She left the office about an hour later a lot less happy than she had been going in, with her new PHS in her pocket and a folder containing her bank and benefits information under her arm. She kept silent as Zack happily chatted alongside her as they walked, slightly tuning him out. She had experience with that after all, even as a spirit in the lifestream, her Zack had talked, _a lot,_ and since they were dead, there wasn't exactly a lot to do but talk and watch the living world.

"You okay Aerith?" asked Zack, "Awfully quiet."

"Just a bit tired from yesterday," she half-lied.

"Yeah, that lightshow sure was something," he said cheekily, "Wanna go get something to eat then? Growing SOLDIERs gotta eat."

She gave a small smile and lied. "Not really hungry right now, I'm going to go back to bed."

Zack pouted. "Awww, okay. Well, see ya later!"

Of course, once he was out of sight, she huffed and scowled a little bit. "Jezz Zack... doing that in front of me..."

She trailed off, frowning. Why wouldn't he though? He **wasn't** _her_ Zack. He wasn't dating her, she wasn't his girlfriend, and he had even said when they first met that he wouldn't pursue her when the past hurt so much. Even if it did hurt to see it, she had no right to get all bent out of shape with this Zack looking at other women. Hell, she wasn't even as old as she had been before, it was almost two years before they had met originally. She was at most thirteen years old, while mentally she was older, it was way to early physically to be going on a tilt over a boy...

Oh wait, thirteen...

She wanted to walk to the nearest wall and smash her head against it over and over again. Puberty again... oh great...

Mood sufficiently fouled, she moved to lean against the wall, pulling out her PHS and fiddling with it. It was... a bit better than the one they shared in AVALANCHE, but easy enough to figure out. She looked up a map of the building, found a gym, and then made for it after dropping off the folder and hiding it between her bed's mattresses. She figured that burning her mood away with working out might be a good idea, Goddess knows she needed to get stronger regardless. She walked in, eyes flickering to see a few people, some SOLDIERs and a few regular employees, there. Figured it wouldn't be empty, she didn't really want anyone to see her bumbling through the gym. She glanced around, a little uncertain. She had never hit a gym once in her previous life. She really had no idea where to start...

"Oh? What does the fair maiden seek in such a place as this?" came a smooth eloquent voice, "I didn't think you'd be one to ogle training men."

Aerith turned and shot a glare at a rather gleeful looking Genesis who passed her and strode into the gym. "I'm not! I wanted to exercise. I kind of need it."

Genesis glanced back, eyebrow raised. "Why are you just standing there then?"

Her face turned a little red. "Well... I've never been in a gym before."

Genesis rolled his eyes. "Ah. Well, I _suppose_ I can be _bothered_ to help you out."

"Someones a little ungrateful," she muttered under her breath.

Genesis flashed her a grin. "I have appearances to keep, I **_am_ ** the terror of third classes and cadets after all."

He turned and glanced around the gym for a moment. "Mmm, it has been some time since I've been here myself. Coming to stretch out and test my restored body out before the pillow fight later today will do me good."

"Pillow fight...?" she asked.

He turned his head, grin widening. "Three way fight between myself, Angeal, and Sephiroth."

Which would thankfully not turn out the way the original fight that started the Copy War had.

"Anyway," he said, flapping his hand, "What do you want to work on? Lower body strength? Upper body strength?"

She frowned for a moment, before remembering the Planet's words when she woke up. "Endurance."

"Ah cardio training, treadmill then," he said, pointing to one side of the gym, "Though, to be frank, the stairs would be better. Goddess, I remember my endurance training. I had to run up the stairs of the Shinra building, take the elevator back down, and then run them again over and over again. Leaves you a dreadful sweaty mess."

He gave her an appraising glance. "Treadmill first however, you are not ready for the stairs. You'd get a quarter way up at best, even with the Mako, before collapsing."

She huffed a little bit, shooting him a glare, before walking over to the... treadmill he called it? She stepped on it, glanced over the controls for a moment, and then pressed the 'On' button. She yelped as the machine started moving under her at a rapid pace. She grabbed the handles of the machine in a brief panic before she started running along. Whoever had been using it prior definitely did **NOT** leave it on a low setting. She didn't change it though, she needed it.

She ran for about an hour, and figured the only reason she had been able to was because of the Mako in her. Goddess... was working out supposed to really burn so much? Her legs were jello at the moment. It didn't exactly hurt, felt a little sore, but that feeling... actually didn't feel to bad, kind of good actually, as odd as a burning sensation feeling good sounded. She turned off the machine, huffing and puffing, before briefly going to a water fountain down the hall and then returning for another run. She honestly had nothing else to do on a weekend. She had no other responsibilities aside from getting strong enough to deal with Jenova if it came down to it. She had hopes that they would find Jenova sleeping and simply deal with it...

But relying solely on hoping was foolish, and potentially deadly.

She was so drastically far behind even just the 3rd Class SOLDIERs. If Jenova woke up and she met the Calamity anytime soon, Aerith would either be a stain on the ground, or infected and turned into a slave to the Calamity's will. She _**HAD** _ to get stronger as quickly as possible.

So she ran, and ran, and ran hour by hour...

* * *

...Until she suddenly woke up in the infirmary, just a tad confused.

"So... going back to sleep?" came Zack's voice, "Not sure this is what you meant."

She turned her head, sighting Zack staring at her from his perch leaning against the wall next to her cot.

"Genesis dumped you here and left me a text, said something about you not knowing your limits and that you're my mess to deal with," said Zack, eyebrow raised.

Aerith shrugged and looked away. "Just wanted to do some training."

"Well, having a spotter, or just going to the gym with a friend, is a lot better, sometimes you don't realize how long you've been going for and let things go to long," said Zack, "Because Genesis sure as heck doesn't fit that bill."

"Just wasn't paying attention," she mumbled.

Zack gave her a skeptical look. "If you say so, now, how about we put some food in your belly. Cuz I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten something since before we took that field trip last night. Mako helps a bit, but, you really need something for the Mako to build on. The Cadet Program whipped me into shape before I even went in for my shots. Mako amplified that."

Aerith made a brief attempt to divert attention, giving out an attempt at a teasing tone, "Amplified is a big word for you Zack."

Zack grinned. "Owch, not nice. I do have a vo-cab-ulary you know!"

"Really?" she teased.

Zack nodded before giving her a knowing look and offering a hand. "Ahuh, now, back on topic... let's get you something to eat."

Aerith scowled, but took the hand and let him haul her up. She wobbled a bit, he legs still feeling

like jello, but followed him out of the room after a quick check in with the on-duty nurse. She noted a few SOLDIERs snickering in her direction when they walked in, one of them calling out, "Nice face-plant on the treadmill earlier girly!"

"No need to be rude, was her first time," scolded Zack, earning more snickers from the SOLDIERs.

Aerith's face burned, but she ignored them, striding to get in line and grab a late lunch... or an early dinner, whatever time it was. This was just what she had wanted to avoid, gossip was obviously a thing in SOLDIER, none of them were going to take her seriously anytime soon. Not that they would a thirteen year old girl anyway...

This day was steadily getting worse and worse.

When they finished and left, Zack made an offer, "So, want me to coach you through some of the stuff Angeal had me do early on?"

Might as well let someone who knows what they were doing guide her...

"Alright," she said.

He led her to the elevator, down to the bottom, out the lobby, and to the side entrance. She glanced up a seemingly endless flight of stairs. She vaguely remember Tifa and Barret complaining about having to climb that. Oh boy...

"First things first, before any exercising, is warm ups," he said, holding up two fingers, "Either stretching for range of motion if you need it, or just light warm up exercises to get your blood pumping and muscles ready for use."

"For this specifically, a bit of both, first, get those legs up!" he said, putting his own leg up on a step, stretching it out, and then switching it out.

Aerith followed suit, and did so quietly for a few minutes.

"Alright, now, a quick warm up," he said, walking up the first set of stairs then turning and walking down at an even pace, "Light version of the real climb for five minutes. That'll get you ready."

She found it kind of awkward to do this repeatedly for five minutes, but she trusted he knew what he was doing.

When their time was done, he motioned upwards. "Alright, first goal, ten flights of stairs then a few minute break, rinse repeat till we reach the top."

Aerith made a face.

He grinned. "Hey, at least I'm not making you do the entire thing without rest. Now up you go!"

With that, Aerith began her ascent. Zack moved up at her side, keeping his pace exact to her. He thankfully didn't talk much, because after the first few sets of ten, even with the breaks, it was rough. Mostly, he gave advice. Pace herself. Control her breathing, don't over exert. If need be, take a quick moment for a breather even before they reached the rest point. In his own words, "We gotta figure out your limits, and then slowly increase them from there."

Which really weren't that high as a thirteen year old girl. Goddess... the Mako didn't do nearly as much as she thought it would on its own. SOLDIERs were a lot more than just people pumped full of the planet's lifeblood. A real, true SOLDIER built from cadet onward was something potentially years in the making. She was so far behind...

Aerith put a more determined step into her pace, taking shorter breaks at the rest stops. And when they finally reached the top, she went back down the elevator to do it again. Zack stayed with her the 2nd time, but left the 3rd, saying something about having promised a date with the secretary from earlier.

"Remember," he said before he left, "Know your limits, if it starts to hurt, or you feel like you can't really go on, stop. I'll text you later to see how it went."

More like to see if she had collapsed again. Aerith huffed at that but resumed her climb. She was tempted to call it quits, she had been at it most of the day since she woke up. But she _**HAD** _ to get stronger, she had to! So up she went again, sweating like crazy by the time Zack texted her about two hours later. She took that as her cue to stop for the day. She went for diner, and flopped on her bed when she got back to her room, passing out out of exhaustion in minutes...

* * *

Aerith found herself repeating the previous day the next day after breakfast for her last day of the weekend. One good thing she did get from Mako, was the recovery. Simple night's rest and most of the soreness from yesterday was gone. Shame it hadn't done much against the Holy headache yesterday. Regardless, she was up and at it to go climb stairs again. On the way to the side entrance, she overhead someone mentioning the trio absolutely destroyed one of the training rooms. Guess they had 'fun' in their pillow fight.

What she was doing sure wasn't fun, but unfortunately necessary. So she did it, for the next few hours, until she ran into Zack at the top of the stairs, watching her ascend. "You're from Sector 5, right? Why don't you go visit your friends there rather than waste the weekend away?"

Aerith ascended the last few steps, wiping sweat from her brow, eyes furrowed in thought. Friends? She couldn't honestly remember any specific person... aside from _her_ Zack, that had really been her friend. Sure she was acquainted with a lot of the people... but... she had been just 'the Flower Girl'. No one really interacted with her, especially with her not-so-subtle Turk guards watching her every move and anyone she interacted with. It scared people away, along with her general 'oddness' of listening to flowers. Made people think she wasn't right in the head.

Her flowers, both at the church and at home, hadn't grown so well just because she was an Ancient. But because she spent _hours_ every single day painstakingly tending to them... because she had no other real way to spend her time... she occasionally helped out at the Sector 7 Orphanage, and sometimes interacted with the homeless who slept in the back of her church if the Turks didn't chase them away. People in generally were just to busy for her; she could recall trying to sell her flowers, and most people brushing her off. So aside from her adoptive mother...

It had been a rather lonely existence. It's why she had treasured _her_ Zack's focus so much... and without Avalanche... she really had no one at the moment.

"Don't have any," was all she said, striding past him.

"Huh," said Zack, following, "Odd. I mean aside from yesterday you seem pretty nice and caring. Kind of surprised you don't."

Aerith was slow to respond, not liking the memories that came back. "Being nice and naive gets you taken advantage of in the Slums, and I was both those in spades when I was younger. I'm merely fortunate I had Turks watching out for me, otherwise..."

She could recall times she would have been killed and left dead in a pile of scrap for what few coins of gil in her pocket.

Lured into a back alley and almost raped.

Offered a 'quick fix', an attempt to deceive her into drugs, becoming an ever paying addict.

Stolen once or twice when times were hard, contemplating a criminal life if only to make it easier for her poor adoptive mother.

Each time the Turks had interjected. Goddess, she didn't want to think where she'd have been in her original life if not for them.

"...otherwise things could have been much worse," was all she said aloud.

Each lesson had made her withdraw from the potential of getting to personally know and befriend her fellow slum dwellers. Because there were so few who wouldn't sell her out or betray her for a quick gil.

"Mmmm," mused Zack before thumbing the door, "Wanna go drink with me an the guys?"

She blinked. "I'm like, _thirteen_."

Zack grinned. "SOLDIER. Mako makes it almost impossible to get drunk."

"I was referring to the age limit," she said.

"Again, SOLDIER," he said cheekily, "We get around like, half the damn rules."

Aerith strode past him sourly. "That's not necessarily a good thing."

"Aww c'mon," said Zack, following, "You don't have to drink, but come and hang out a bit."

"No thanks Zack," she answered firmly, "I have to much catching up to do."

"You only get to be young and have fun once Aerith," said Zack.

She paused and turned to look at him steadily, whispering a quiet, "I know."

Whatever he saw in her eyes made him pale slightly and take a step back, looking unsettled. With that, Aerith turned and strode away, ready to resume her endurance training again. She had her chance at youth once. There was to much at stake to greedily take a second chance on something _unnecessary_. It would take to long to catch up, and she had absolutely no clue when things would go south (and they most certainly would if she had to guess). So she'd train for a few years, and damn it, if nothing had happened by the time she _**WAS** _ ready, she'd go hunt down Jenova on her own!

* * *

 _ **Review Responses** :_

 _Azure Shrine : Relax, I don't abandon my fics. I just have so many of them it takes time to progress through them._

 _GreatAzureDragon : Thanks. Once More With Feeling is my fav FF7 Time Travel Fic at the moment, but there was a Tifa one that looked promising to..._

 _Ultimolu : Might take you up on beta'ing the chapters once they get there if you are still interested._

 _Shivii-Chan : Thanks. Cloud (and Tifa!) won't be for a little bit (roughly a year timeline wise)._

 _NocturneX : Mmmm, not quite Behemoth level yet. Getting there slowly but surely. The Sephiroth support wont be for a little bit, but they DO actually have a good chunk of things in common, especially one thing in particular: They were both in Hojo's labs for their early life (Aerith till 7~, Sephiroth till whenever), that is a major point that will eventually come up._

 _Guest : It will be Aerith/Sephiroth eventually. Cloud/Tifa is an obvious, but most likely won't be a spotlight thing. IDK if Zack will end up with anyone, Romance won't be a SUPER heavy part of the story. It will have its place, but it's not the main focus._

 _Guest2 : Aerith coping with her past really hasn't hit yet. It will have its place eventually. Some of it occurring towards the end of next chapter._

 _Guest3 : Good analogy there. Wonder who would win, a Spartan or a SOLDIER? (Not counting SOLDIER 1sts, because they are way to strong for comparison). Aerith won't be stronger than Sephiroth in terms of pure raw physical power. Magic she will be a bit better (maybe Genesis tier or better). Cetra SOLDIERs is a thing I'm not sure how much they will change from JENOVA SOLDIERs, aside from being more stable and less can-be-possessed-by-evil-alien-parasite. _

_Lady Yomi : Hello again. And yeah, Aerith got a dressing down from Sephiroth there ^_^. And yeah, Superhuman strength can be a pain, I always think of the Superman quote "living in a world made of cardboard.'. Can't spoil the ending yet :P, way to soon._

 _Guest4 : Zack will always be a puppy._


	12. Obsession (Part 2)

_**Chapter 12 - Obsession (Part 2)**_

* * *

She was at it again, wasting another weekend away.

It was all Sephiroth could do but shake his head in bemusement. Being who the Ancient was, he kept a eye on her. For the last few weeks, almost a month now, when she wasn't in training or other lessons, she had been throwing herself into exercising to an inane degree. It was almost... obsessive. At first, he hadn't paid much attention to it, and in fact had approved. She was far behind her peers. Had she been in the cadet program with this kind of attitude, she would have been on the right track to easily make her way into SOLDIER.

Yet...

There was an old saying he followed; he couldn't for the life of him remember where he heard it from, maybe Professor Faremis. It was that to much of anything was a bad thing. It was an oddly amusing saying, or theory he supposed; it even had scientific proof. Eating to much could lead to becoming overweight and a great deal of health issues. Drinking to much water could lead to water intoxication. Taking to many pain medications could lead to dependency and addiction, to many repetitive motions could lead to carpel tunnel syndrome, and it went on and on from there.

The Ancient had suffered from this initially when she started her routine, Genesis had been laughing about it for hours and talking about her 'face plant'. He personally didn't see what was so funny about it, it was to be expected. She had suddenly and jarringly adjusted her daily routine, the human body didn't generally cope with that very well. It was better to ease into new things. But she had since adapted, and adapted well.

SOLDIERs could get around such limits to a large degree. The Mako in their systems allowed them to get away with things they really shouldn't be able to. A young thirteen year old girl should not be able to do the Shinra Stair Run multiple times a day with ease, yet she was. She had started to put on muscle, and was continuing to do so, more than he could recall seeing from females of similar age while out on missions or during public events.

He spared a quick glance into the gym; she alternated between the stairs and the gym, she was on maximum setting on the treadmill at the moment from what he saw. Yet... she was also alone. Unlike other SOLDIERs who exercised in groups or pairs, she did it alone. She was not bonding or even befriending her fellow SOLDIER, and that could have repercussions down the road. Not that SOLDIER as a whole was helping in that matter. From what little eavesdropping he had partaken in, many were irritated to find her here, especially when she bypassed the Cadet Program. Some were developing a slight grudging respect for her _enthusiasm_ in training, but that was about it.

Save for Zackery, he wasn't sure she really had a friend or acquaintance here. He hadn't seen her interact with the Turks either, or Valentine, as much as the man shadowed her. Though, he wasn't sure she was aware he kept more of an eye on her than Sephiroth himself did. Regardless, isolation was dangerous to a SOLDIER, they were already divergent from the general community and even the regular army. Being separate from their fellow SOLDIER as well was asking for trouble. Even he had Genesis and Angeal as friends and comrades, and he supposed Zackery as well. Angeal had been making a fuss about getting him invited to their weekly gathering/drinking on Sunday nights. Sephiroth wasn't quite sure about that, but, he could admit Zackery's volunteering to 'test out' the Ancient's blood and scold them on nearly ' _pulling a Hojo_ ' had earned him a great deal of respect in his eyes.

The Ancient to his knowledge had no one at the moment, and was distant to Zackery, someone she had said she had loved in her 'visions'. Being completely alone and _obsessed_ with her current routine would see her waking up one day to realize she was friendless and had no one she was close with. Even if they defeated Jenova, where would that leave her? He had seen SOLDIERs stationed in Wutai go mad over being alone, the sole survivor of their squads or regiments. Considering she was the last Ancient alive, and had actually seen the world end in these 'visions', it was a legitimate concern.

Her current actions were unhealthy for her in the long run, and it was his duty and responsibilities to his SOLDIERs to see that remedied.

He strode into the mostly empty gym and cleared his throat. "3rd Class Gainsborough."

Her head turned sharply for a moment before turning back and shutting down the machine, she approached and saluted. "Yes sir?"

At least she was learning formalities he supposed. "Walk with me."

She followed in behind him as he turned and left the room. "Is something wrong? Did you find Hojo or..."

"No," he said curtly, "I simply wish to... talk."

"Okay...," she said slowly, sounding a little confused, "About what?"

"You are from Sector 5, correct?" he asked.

"The slums? Yeah," she said, "What about it?"

"I've noticed," he began carefully as to not offend, "You haven't left the building to visit your home since you arrived here."

The Ancient shrugged. "I'll do so eventually, I've got to get stronger before Jenova becomes active."

"There is no guarantee we wont find her before then," he pointed out.

"Can't risk it," she said.

"And your... adoptive mother I believe it was? Surely you miss her," he stated.

Again, she shrugged. "Sure, but I'm training to make sure she has a future. I'll have time to see her once this is all over."

Sephiroth resisted the urge to groan. She wasn't going to make this easy, was she? When this is all over could turn into decades down the road.

Though, he was curious about something. He had read her file the Turks had on her; there was a piece of information missing, who her birth parents were. He had asked Tseng once, but the man said it was need to know information, that only he, Director Verdot, the President, and Hojo had known. Perhaps it was circumventing the chain of command, but, he was curious if the Ancient would be willing to satisfy his curiosity.

"Forgive me if I intrude upon a family matter, but what of your birth parents?" he asked, "Are you estranged with them? Or are they..."

"Gone," said the Ancient flatly.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he offered, though he noted she hadn't been very descriptive in what 'gone' meant, dead or did they leave her? "What were their names?"

"Well, my birth mother's name was Ifalna," said the Ancient.

Sephiroth whirled, disbelief on his face. "What did you say?"

The Ancient paused. "Ifalna, that was her name."

Sephiroth stared at her, scrutinizing her face, chagrin hitting him hard. "How could I not have seen it... you look just like her."

"Wait, you knew my mother?" asked Aerith in disbelief.

"Ifalna... was one of the only people I interacted with in the labs outside of the scientists back when I was young," he admitted, "With her and Gast, before he left and she disappeared, they made it somewhat tolerable. Things... degraded... when Hojo took over."

Sephiroth frowned, a thought occurring. "If she was your mother, then Ifalna was an Ancient, so she had to know Jenova was no Ancient; what was she doing on the Jenova Project?"

Aerith tilted her head back in thought, eyebrows furrowing. "Maybe she was trying to stop it? She did convince my father to leave the project after all."

Well, that drew Sephiroth's interest. "Your father was also part of the Jenova Project?"

She gave him a peculiar look. "Yes? You just mentioned him."

Sephiroth couldn't help it, he gave a start and stared at her hard; _Surely_ he hadn't heard that right. "Pardon?"

"Gast Faremis was my father," she said simply.

Sephiroth had to make a concentrated effort to keep himself from gaping at her. Aerith Gainsborough was the daughter of the two people who had actually _cared_ back when he was a child, who had seen him as more than just an experiment or a weapon to be. The two he credited for keeping him alive and holding back Hojo's more dangerous tests and experimentation until he was old enough to handle them. They had kept him sane, had given him brief moments of happiness in that miserable existence he had in the labs.

He cleared his throat, struggling to find something to say. "Why do you go by Gainsborough then?"

Aerith frowned, a flash of pain crossed her face, of an old and deep wound. "My adoptive mother took me in when my birth mother died, and I took on her name."

Sephiroth felt like he had been punched; he whispered, "Ifalna is dead?"

"She... was killed when we were escaping Hojo's labs when I was seven," muttered Aerith, bitterness in her voice, "She was shot just before we made it onto a train to take us below the plate."

Sephiroth's fists clenched tightly, his vision turning red for a moment. They had been in the building the _**ENTIRE TIME**_ he had been training for SOLDIER prior to the Wutai War, and he hadn't a clue. Been experimented on and who knows what else. He wasn't one to invoke Genesis's goddess, but...

Goddess... Aerith had grown up in a lab, just like him... he didn't know if that was a comfort or not having had someone else who knew what that was like. He wouldn't wish it on anyone.

But wait...

"What about Gast?" demanded Sephiroth, "How could he have let this happen?"

Aerith closed her eyes and sighed. "I never knew my father. Hojo shot and killed him when I was a few weeks old."

Gast...

Gast was _dead_...

" ** _Hojo_** ," snarled Sephiroth, shaking in a rage he hadn't felt in _so long_ , "There won't be a death _slow enough_ for him."

Aerith, to her credit, didn't seem phased by his rage, only curious, "My birth parents meant a great deal to you, didn't they?"

Sephiroth closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out, bottling his anger up for the training room later, and reopened his eyes. "Yes, they did. And I owe it to them to try and help you with your current... issue."

She blinked. "Issue?"

"Your exercising, your training," he said.

She looked abashed. "Ah... am I doing it wrong? I thought I was doing fine."

"You are," he said simply, "But at the cost of everything else. You have done nothing but eat, sleep, and train for almost a month. While not uncommon for SOLDIERs, most at least take the weekends to themselves or relax when off-duty."

Aerith scowled. "I have to catch up, I have to become strong enough to matter this time!"

There it was again. _This time_ she said. He filed away her pretense phrasing and instead focused on the matter at hand. "For one, you are a _child_ Aerth. You are not expected, required, or allowed to do anything dangerous for at bare minimum two years. Most Cadets arrive at fifteen, and if they make SOLDIER, don't even go on their first missions until they are sixteen or seventeen."

That apparently was the wrong thing to say; her scowl turned downright fierce, "I don't care! Once I get strong enough, if I have to go out on my own to track down and stop Jenova, I will!"

He stared at her in disbelief. "You cannot be serious."

She glared full force at him. "I am serious, _deadly serious_."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. This problem needed to be nipped in the bud, _now_ , before she ended up getting herself killed, or worse, captured. "Aerith, what makes you think you, let alone any one person can handle the threat Jenova represents?"

Aerith scoffed. "Says the guy who could take her if it came down to it."

"I wouldn't want to even risk that," he said, staring at her like she had grown a second head, did she not have even a moderate sense of tactics or risk?

Aerith blinked a few times. "Why not?"

"If she can affect my mind, I would want others there who could snap me out of it's influence for one," stated Sephiroth, "For two, you told us it wiped out the Ancients, almost their entire race, by infecting and converting them to it's side. If I were to face it, Jenova would most likely have an army of infected with her. Taking on both it and an army at once is a chance I would not take without SOLDIER at my back unless I absolutely had to. And anyone else, including you, who tried that on their own would most likely die."

Aerith gave him a grim smile. "If my life is the price to pay to weaken or kill Jenova then so be. Death won't stop me, and merely destroying Jenova's body and cells doesn't stop her taint of the lifestream. I'd still have my work cut out for me even while dead."

Sephiroth _stared_ at her, at someone who was so completely and utterly unaffected and nonchalant about dying, with a mixture of disbelief, and perhaps awe. He could admit, if he had to die, then he would face it head on with dignity, honor, and courage. But that didn't mean he _wanted_ to die, that he didn't _care_ about dying.

Then another thought struck him. "Do you truly care so little about your own life? About those your parting would hurt? I imagine your adoptive mother would be devastated."

A shadow crossed her face. "They'd persevere and move on. They did bef... in the vision, despite their pain."

He narrowed his eyes. "That's rather _inconsiderate_ of you, and you didn't answer my first question."

Aerith shrugged. "I'm a servant of the planet, if I must die for it to live, then I will do so willingly."

"You are not a pawn nor a tool to be thrown away at a moment's notice," said Sephiroth, trying to keep the critical edge out of his voice, "You are a young woman with your entire future ahead of you."

"A future that doesn't matter so long as Jenova is alive," she shot back, irritation bleeding across her face.

"And that's an excuse to not consider the worth of your own life?" he shot back, equally irritated, "You are young, untested, and inexperienced. But one day, that will no longer be true. You may become a powerful asset to SOLDIER, that's _**IF** _ your impatience doesn't kill you, or worse, deliver you into the enemy's hands. That would be the worse outcome."

Aerith crossed her arms. "How so? What could Jenova realistically do with me? Use me as bait? I'm immune to her taint."

He scoffed. "You described it as a virus. Viruses evolve, and you hand delivering yourself into it's waiting arms could give it all the time to figure out a way around your immunity, thus giving yourself over to be infected and enslaved, and ruin the building immunity SOLDIER is getting to Jenova with your blood."

Aerith looked incredulous. "You can't seriously think that..."

She paused, a distant look in her eyes, and then froze up, her face paling.

 _Finally_ it appeared logic had gotten through to her.

"Is that... how _that_ future came to pass?" she whispered to herself, horror rolling off her in waves.

Sephiroth's eyebrows furrowed. Or not, what was she going on about now?

"But I... I don't...," began Aerith haltingly, "I... don't know what else to do. What... what else can I do to prepare to stop Jenova?"

"Wait," he said simply, "Be patient, and don't act alone, we have no clue when it will be found, or if worst comes to worst, active. Stressing yourself for no reason is foolish, and for goodness sake, take a day off once in a while, even _**I**_ do. Stressed SOLDIERs make mistakes after all. Mingle with your fellow SOLDIERs. Go see your mother, when is the last time you saw her? Does she even know where you are? That you are in SOLDIER?"

Aerith looked abashed, averting her eyes. "Erm..."

He pointed down the hall. "It's the weekend, take it off and visit your family."

"Is that an order?" she said, trying meekly to adopt a teasing tone.

He wasn't going to let her get out of a rebuke that easily. "If I have to make it one, then I will. Go."

"Yes sir." she muttered sullenly before saluting and taking her leave.

He watched her go, slightly bemused, but didn't move otherwise, standing in the hallway alone, a single thought repeating in his head.

 _Ifalna and Gast were dead._

It filled him with such loss and frustration. He thought back to when they had both vanished, how hurt and abandoned he'd felt at the time. He had never been told one way or the other what had happened. He had figured they had either retired, or moved onto another project. Perhaps it was a delusion; not hearing about either of them for over a decade was a good indication of their fate. With the confirmed knowledge of their loss...

It was all he could do to mutter, "Why didn't you take me with you? I could have kept you both safe... I would have been free of Hojo..."

He pitied Aerith for her loss of her mother, and then his thoughts turned towards his own. How easily he could have continued believing Jenova was his mother, never knowing the truth about Lucrecia if not for Aerith...

Then he winced at the thought of the scientist. Speaking of avoiding family... he had hardly interacted with his own mother outside of the Science Department. He just... didn't know _how_. He wasn't exactly given the opportunity to observe families in their natural habitats. He knew families were supposed to be 'close', but what exactly did that entail? The only example he honestly had was SOLDIER comradery. Still... as suddenly as he gained her back, losing his mother could happen just as quickly. He shouldn't push it off. Not to mention... he just...

 _Ifalna and Gast were dead._

...needed a distraction...

* * *

 ** _Review Responses:_**

 _NocturneX: If Zack's love-life comes up, it'll be a small thing. Aerith will need time to relearn/learn how to enjoy life. Elmyra's going to have her chance to give Aerith holy hell next chapter, and having known Aerith for so long, notice things others wouldn't..._

 _Guest : I've never played Mortal Combat, I'm glad you can find enjoyment through that comparison though._

 _Sakurablossomhime : Aerith never received Jenova cells, she just got pure Mako injected into her with the Planet's blessing. Thanks, and glad you enjoy._

 _x3eloved : :D, I like when people are specific like that on what they like about my stories or a specific scene. Focus might be to weak a word at the moment though for Aerith ^_^. Ages... The trio is roughly 20 years old, maybe 19, not sure. Zack I think is sixteen-seventeen or so if I remember correctly._

 _Guest : Living in slums is never an easy thing, and while Aerith has some bitterness (at least in this story), it's never been a defining trait for her._

 _Greatazuredragon : Genesis would have been funnier, Sephiroth is simply to serious about most things. And yeah, abandoned fanfics several years old is a sad thing (some people can take awhile, even 6~ months to update, but several years is an indication of deadness)._

 _Azure Shine : Aerith has issues at the moment and needs someone to give her a nudge here and there, being dead for awhile changes perspectives._


	13. Mothers

_**Chapter 13: Mothers**_

* * *

Insufferable man!

Aerith scowled a little, picking her way through a familiar path through the slums towards her old home. Needling into her past, saying she was training to much, didn't value her own life, calling her inconsiderate, ordering her around like she was a child!

Hmph!

While she was surprised Sephiroth even knew her birth parents, and it was 'good' that he finally knew their fate, it had become a sore subject to her after her death, or at least on her mother's side. She had a faint hope, when she drifted in the lifestream dead in her prior life, that she'd get to see Ilfana again. It never happened. She had been left as the only Ancient once again, first alive, then conscious while dead...

She cared for her adoptive mother, she truly did, but, she wanted the woman _safe_ first before anything else. She had never seen her again after escaping Midgar her first life. She had missed her yes, but the knowledge that she had been trying to safeguard both her and the planet had helped with that. Knowing just truly how much was at stack now made her more determined than ever. Even if she wasn't going to rush off on her own...

 _(which in hindsight had been an incredibly stupid idea to entertain)_

... she could still be training. Sephiroth had said she didn't value her own life, but Aerith did. She knew exactly how much it was worth. The Planet had chosen her as it's failsafe. She was the last Ancient, and the first Ancient SOLDIER, who knows what powers she would develop. She was the only living person that could call forth Holy. She could manipulate the lifestream even after she died. In fact, her death might _have_ to happen if things went bad enough and the Planet needed her help fighting Jenova within the Lifestream. Her life, and death, might end up being worth the entire Planet. She didn't want to die, training so hard was a strong indication of her wanting to survive, or so she would have normally assumed, she was just...

She prepared to die.

She had been ever since coming back.

She knew it was a possible, _likely_ , outcome.

She honestly hadn't bothered really getting used to be alive again...

She shook her head as her home came into view. She smiled faintly at the sight. It had been a long, very long, time since she had last seen it. Though, there weren't nearly as many flowers there as there had been before. Most likely wouldn't be without her there, nor without Zack to help plant them. Ah well... maybe when this was all over, if she was alive, she'd leave Midgar and SOLDIER and start a floral shop somewhere.

She walked up to her door and opened it, pausing uneasily at the abnormal sight within. There was clutter on the counter, the table was dusty and had leftover plates on it. Footwear was just haphazardly kicked to the side. The floor didn't look like it had been swept or mopped for a long while. And at the head of the table, Elmyra Gainsborough sat, her head bent over, staring down into her hands, an absolutely miserable look on her face.

Good heavens... what in the world...

"Mom?" Aerith questioned uncertainly.

The woman's head turned sharply, and then her eyes went wide with shock, then pure relief and joy.

"AERITH!" cried out her Mother, rushing through the door and embracing her in a tightly fierce hug, starting to sob into her shoulder, "Oh thank heavens you're alright. I hadn't heard anything for weeks, the Turks were all gone, no one had told me anything, I... I thought either Shinra had taken you or... or... that I had lost you."

And then all of Aerith's irritation at Sephiroth bled away into pure utter shame. "I... I'm sorry mom, I should have come back sooner."

"C-come back?" Elmyra whispered, then grew angry, "Come back? Aerith! Did you sneak off to a friends or something for a few weeks and not tell me?!"

"No! Heavens no mom!" said Aeirth, "I... went back to Shinra."

The woman's face paled. "Why?"

Aerith motioned inside, and they both stepped in, closing the door behind them. "I had to. I couldn't let things continue as they were. Something awful is coming, and I have to do whatever it takes to stop it."

Elmyra looked at her, perplexed. "Aerith... you're a child, let those who are grown handle whatever comes."

Aerith shook her head. "They'll make it worse if they don't have someone guiding them. If I didn't do something now, then it would be to late."

Her mother opened her mouth, and then froze for a moment, hand slowly reaching up to cup Aerith's cheek, looking closer at her eyes. "They're glowing... far more than normal."

"I... I joined SOLDIER," said Aerith softly.

Elmyra shakily sat at the table. "Oh Aerith..."

"I did it willingly mom," she said softly, "I had to, I had to become strong enough."

Her mother stared at her in confusion. "Aerith... what..."

Aerith gave her a patient look. "I know its hard to take in..."

Elmyra sputtered a bit. "You think? Aerith... you disappear for weeks, suddenly waltz back in, having gone willingly back to Shinra, joined SOLDIER, and you're acting almost nothing like the daughter I knew before you vanished."

Aerith rolled her eyes. "I can't be that different."

Elmyra gave her a thin look. "I've spent less than five minutes in the same room as you, and I can list plenty of ways. Shall I?"

Aerith pursed her lips, growing agitated. "Mom..."

"One, you are acting more serious than you ever have before. Two, you for some reason have an almighty opinion of yourself that you must take on whatever the hell problem you think is coming and that no one else can," said Elmyra, giving her a stern yet worried look, "Three, you went back to Shinra, you're terrified of Shinra. Forth is the same, except SOLDIER in place of Shinra. Five, you talked down to me like I'm a child that is still in school. Six, you have never rolled your eyes at me before, and trust me, I'd know, it's a mother's thing..."

"Mom!" Aerith exclaimed.

"Seven, you just interrupted me while I was speaking, I always remember you as quiet, patient, and waiting to speak until you had listened and thought over a response. Aerith..." said Elmyra, exasperated, "I haven't even see you smile yet or say you're happy to be home... I can see the bags under your eyes and the stress on your face. What is going on with you?"

Aerith went silent. Then, she moved to sit down and slumped into her seat, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. "Mom... I... I died and came back."

Elmyra blinked a few times. "Come again?"

She wouldn't lie to her mother, or give a half truth. Elmyra... had always understood, even if she didn't understand completely, she always tried, always listened, and never told a soul. "I died, the Planet was about to die, so it sent me back..."

* * *

Sephiroth was not nervous.

Not for something so trivial as meeting with a scientist, a mere woman.

Even if she was his own mother.

He was just... _apprehensive_. He had done some tentative research online. Videos of family gatherings. Basic summaries and examples of the roles a mother and son were supposed to have. It all seemed so... strange. Aside from the fact it was unwise to simply throw out what was tried and proven information... he wasn't sure he should use any of it. He was quite sure that allowing experimentation on ones _own unborn child_ wasn't what a mother should do. And he without a doubt didn't fit into the role of a normal son.

He was half a mind to not even bother and simply treat her as a normal coworker of Shinra, yet... he _wanted this_. There were so few things in his life that were _his_ , that he could call his own, things that so many others took for granted. Many had been deemed unnecessary or distracting; he had never particularly been allowed personal effects. He didn't actually even own the clothes on his back, they had been designed and given to him by Shinra. His blade technically wasn't his either, but he'd be damned before he let anyone take that away. Everything in his apartment was Shinra issued.

Without them, he honestly had nothing. Which he assumed was _the point_ , in order to try to keep him there. He had a bank account, but had never been allowed to develop hobbies or interests that weren't guided, desired, or funded by Shinra, and as such, had no idea what to spend any of his money on aside from food. Even his friends, as much as he treasured them, had initially been thrust upon him. After all, it was beneficial to the Company and SOLDIER for their top SOLDIERs got along. Shinra was basically his entire life, and it irked him to no end sometimes. Other times he simply didn't care, being a SOLDIER was usually enough, but when it wasn't...

Those days he often spent darkly brooding.

He considered it a valuable skill to be able to brood on the move, as it allowed him to force himself into something he didn't want to do but had to. He found himself outside of Dr. Crescent's office suddenly, and it would be rather awkward to have come all this way, stand outside the door, then turn around. So, he simply reached forward and knocked.

"Just a minute!" came his mother's voice.

Sometimes, if Sephiroth paused like he was now and waiting, it would hit him all over again. The revelations of his birth and the Jenova Project, what was done to his friends, that he actually had a living breathing mother. It was one of the few things that made him close his eyes, take a deep visible breath, and let it out. There were few things in his life that had the potential to actually overwhelm him, he allowed himself the weakness in this regard. Normal people would have, what was the word Genesis used, flipped? Yes, 'flipped' by now. So much to take in, in so little time considering his duties and responsibilities as a SOLDIER.

Small mercy that men like Angeal existed to confide and vent in, especially considering the man's own trouble adapting to the truth.

The door opened and Lucrecia gave a start to see him there, then a hesitant smile, "Umm, g-good afternoon Sephiroth."

He tilted his head. "Good afternoon."

"You're just in time," she said, "I _think_ I've come up with a methodical schedule to slowly take SOLDIER off of Jenova."

Not quite what he had come here for, but..., "Very well."

She motioned him inside and he walked in-to an office disaster zone. Papers scattered everywhere, folders open on the desk, her computer humming loudly, almost chuggingly, as if it had been on for days; a plate with half-eaten sandwich. Apparently, Aerith wasn't the only one putting so much of herself into her work. Then again, unlike Aerith who was mindlessly training, Lucrecia had the unfortunate duty of wading through Hojo's mess of a department, purifying it, getting it on track, starting new projects on top of replacing Jenova with Aerith's cells, and who knew what else.

She led him to the computer and offered him a seat. He accepted it, sat down back straight, and let his eyes wash over the schedule. "Hmm, once a month a first for a year, slowly increasing to once every few weeks, and then to once a week. It will take some time to cleanse SOLDIER."

Lucrecia nodded, placing her hands together. "Yes, based on what the Ancient said, I assumed we would want to do this slow as to not accidentally stir Jenova. Losing a potential vessel once in awhile can be attributed to many different things, nothing that I think would cause any distress. And as it gets used to it, we slowly speed up the process."

"Do we have a contingency plan, if it wakes?" asked Sephiroth.

"We're working on that," said Lucrecia, "We plan to, over time, fill up a backstock of Aerith's blood that we can use as an emergency on-site injector. We are vulnerable now, very vulnerable, but if a few years go by without any hiccups, we should be in a good spot."

 _Vulnerable_

Sephiroth detested that word when SOLDIER was labeled with it. "How vulnerable exactly?"

Lucrecia hesitated. "Well... it comes down to the individual SOLDIER. Can they resist Jenova's control? The Ancient implied that they could with an incredibly strong will, but... I... I don't wish to disregard your men..."

"The average SOLDIER most likely does not meet that requirement," Sephiroth finished for her, "A strong sense of self and will is required to survive the SOLDIER process, but that does not necessarily mean they can resist something that could infect and control Ancients back when it first arrived."

"Well, we don't know how strong of mind and will the Ancients were, Aerith is all we have to go by as an example, but I think she's a bit of a special case," said Lucrecia.

"Undoubtedly," agreed Sephiroth.

"To finish though, the worst case scenario would be that Jenova awakens now, and takes control of almost all of SOLDIER, along with infecting the general populace," said Lucrecia, "It would be... an apocalyptic disaster. Now, I don't have a lot of information on Jenova herself, I really need to sit down with Aerith and get all the information I can from her on it. So, I made up what I thought was a few 'reasonable' scenarios and ideas of what her powers and abilities would be based on what Aerith has said and considering Jeniova wiped out the Ancients."

Sephiroth titled his head in acknowledgement. "And?"

"I spent some time crunching numbers on it, though I wish I hadn't. Best case scenario if Jenova awakens within the year is that humanity barely survives with less than a quarter of it's population intact, depending on, well...," she trailed of briefly, uncomfortable, "On how well you, Angeal, and Genesis can handle the situation. You are only three people, you can't be everywhere at once, protecting everyone, with all of SOLDIER turned against you."

A grim prospect.

Especially in slaying his own men. It was one thing with SOLDIERs who went mad and lost themselves, that was more of a freeing than a killing. But this? Being enslaved by this ' _creature_ '? Animated by it's will with no choice? It would be horrifying both to be them, and to be killing them. He had done many things in his life he wasn't proud of, most of it centered on the Wutai War, but doing that? Murdering his own enslaved SOLDIERs to save himself and the world?

He had to forcibly resist a shudder.

Either something bled through, or she had some kind of 'motherly instinct'; her hand hesitatingly squeezed his shoulder. He tensed briefly, there were very few people he allowed to willingly touch him, rapid fans aside. He understood that mothers 'did this', but... it was hard to let go of years of such reaction. Still, he forced himself to relax as he felt his mother's touch began to lift, feeling her apprehension in the air. She hesitated, but withdrew her hand regardless, not pressing. He could respect her for that.

"What are your estimates for various scenarios of when Jenova awakens?" asked Sephiroth.

"Well, it will take roughly ten years to fully cleanse SOLDIER at the rate we've chosen. The first few years are the most dangerous for us, her awakening within that timeframe would be disastrous. If we reach the five year mark, our outlook gets much better. We'll have roughly half of SOLDIER cleansed, and perhaps other countermeasures developed as well. In addition, Aerith will have physically matured, I imagine she'll start to be a valuable asset to SOLDIER at that point, not that she already isn't with what she's done for us," said Lucrecia before tilting her head, "If we go a decade without Jenova waking up, with all of SOLDIER cleansed, our prospects will be... well... good I suppose. I find it hard to imagine that she could take on all of SOLDIER, even if she infected all of Midgar as a awful scenario. Of course, if we find and dispose of Jenova before she wakes up, then all of this guesswork is discarded. It also I suppose depends on how Jenova acts when if she wakes up. Confrontational? Subtle and cunning? I've come up with a few model scenarios if you want to look at them."

Sephiroth did, but after the first few, it was apparent she wasn't a tactician. They were overviews, number crunching if X amount of population at Y city was infected; how certain SOLDIERs would fare based off their mission scoring; things of that nature. Still, he read through them all before pointing out something critical he found missing in her rigid estimates, "While these are valid to a degree, there is always the unknown factor to consider. Things we cannot predict, and with how much of an unknown factor Jenova is, there is much that could go wrong, much that we cannot prepare for. It could come up with strategies we have no concept of. As for finding and disposing of it early... I'm not placing faith in it. If we do, then excellent, if we don't, I will be as prepared as I can be."

Lucrecia nodded. "Yes, t-that is a valid statement. I suppose that makes most of my calculations moot."

"I appreciate the effort," offered Sephiroth, "And its not for nothing, I always value a thought out opinion, it offers me a new point of view and things I may not consider."

There was a hesitant smile on her face for a moment before it vanished and she cleared her throat. "Well... that's all I really had to show at the moment unfortunately."

"That is fine," answered Sephiroth, "I did not actually come here to discuss strategy or Jenova."

She blinked a few times. "Then why..."

"You offered, and it would have been rude of me not to listen," he preemptively answered.

"Oh... well, why did you drop by then?" she asked, "Is there something I can do for you?"

"I... wished to... talk," he said slowly, methodically.

Her eyes went wide for a moment, a quick intake of breath. "A-about what?"

There was so much he wanted to ask, yet... she seemed more scared of the potential subject than he was nervous. Perhaps now wasn't the proper time. They hardly had spent any time together yet, delving into... deeper... matters, well, that might be to soon. Yes, better to take things slow. Perhaps what Aerith had told him then as a safer topic. Depending on if she knew her parents and how close she was to them if she did.

"I was talking with Aerith earlier," he said, noting how her shoulders relaxed, relief on her face, "I learned who her birth parents are."

Lucrecia blinked a few times. "Birth parents? I wasn't aware she was adopted."

"She is," he said before continuing, "She was born to Gast Faremes and Ilfana."

Lucrecia's jaw dropped, open shock on her face. "T-truly?"

Sephiroth nodded, before offering an obvious lead-in for her to continue. "Yes, I take it you knew them?"

She smiled a little. "Yes, they were part of the Jenova Project. Gast was a mentor of sorts, so patient and wise, he filled in what college failed to teach me. Ilfana, she was all sorts of fun; shopping, talking boys, had an odd penchant for flowers, but she was a close friend. At least, up until you were born."

It faded. "After I was cut off from you, and Vincent was shot, tension started rising, a lot. Last I saw, before I exiled myself, was that Gast and Hojo were butting heads almost daily."

She frowned. "Speaking of Gast... I haven't seen or heard anything of him since I returned."

"He's gone," said Sephiroth softly, "Both him and Ilfana were killed."

Lucrecia suckered in a breath, her face paling, the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "H-how?"

"Aerith told me Hojo shot Gast when she was an infant," said Sephiroth, "And that Ilfana died when they escaped Hojo's labs when she was seven."

Lucrecia's legs buckled under her, Sephiroth was however quicker, and got her to her chair. "Easy mother."

Lucrecia looked ready to hyperventilate. "Oh Gast... oh Ilfana... and Aerith, that poor girl, growing up in Hojo's lab."

Sephiroth didn't respond, his thoughts lingering on his own youth in Hojo's labs. There would come a time to discuss that later, but not now. He focused on his mother, her shocked tearing face, ragged breathing. He hesitatingly put a hand on her shoulder, and she readily leaned into it. Lucrecia... seemed like a fragile woman. Whether she was naturally like this, or it was the aftermath of her long 'hibernation' in a Mako crystal or the Jenova Project.

Speaking of which... she herself needed to be cleansed of Jenova, he wondered if she had realized that yet. Something to, yet again, bring up later. She needed time to rest and cope with the loss of dear friends. He was more than willing to give that to her though. For seeing her like this... made him feel something odd, a desire to safeguard and take away her pain. For she was **_his_ ** mother, to cherish and protect.

He would give her all the time in the world.

* * *

Aerith finished her tale and waited, watching the mixture of emotions pass across Elmyra's face. The woman said nothing for a good long while, simply staring at Aerith, eyes searching eyes. Finally, she ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"Dead before thirty," muttered Elmyra, latching onto what appeared to disturb her the most, rubbing her eyes, "Oh Aerith... that wasn't a life I wished for you."

"Giving my life for the Planet was my duty," answered Aerith.

"Is that how you choose to cope with it?" asked Elmyra dryly.

"There is no 'coping', said Aerith back with equal dryness, "I'm fine."

Elmyra snorted and rose to her feet, walking around the table to stand behind Aerith, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry Aerith."

Aerith fidgeted uncomfortably. When was the last time she had been held like this? Since before she had left Midgar all those years ago. She hesitated, before slowly grasping her mothers arms and pulling them tighter to her chest. Oh how she had missed Elmyra... no doubt, just belief, acceptance, and love.

"And now you feel like you have to do it all over again," murmured Elmyra, "Haven't you done enough my child? You've already set things in motion for the better..."

Aerith sighed and gently peeled her mother's arms away. "It's not enough, it's not _nearly_ enough."

"When will it be enough?" half-demanded, half-whispered her mother.

"When Jenova is dead, and I don't have to worry about the top three of SOLDIER going insane," said Aerith plainly.

Elmyra tugged on her arm, and Aerith obliged, standing up to turn and face her Mother. The older woman reached a hand up to caress her face, fingers inches from her eyes. "And rushing into it like this is the way to do it?"

"I did not rush...," began Aerith.

"Let me finish," reprimanded Elmyra, "You woke up here, immediately started in on the Turks, shoved a brutal truth down the top three SOLDIERs throats, then got yourself pumped full of Mako within a week's time. Did you stop to even think of the consequences? For one, this glow... it's not going away Aerith. It's permanent. This will have consequences long after this 'Jenova' is dead. Do you understand that?"

"You say that as if it's guaranteed we'll win when there are no such thing as a free pass," said Aerith, "Sephiroth already won once when he went insane the first time. If he went off again, there's a high chance we'd all die. And Jenova? Sephiroth didn't care for the general populace until it was the end and he began to destroy the world. The Calamity, even if we beat her, if what happened to my ancestors is any indication, humanity might be lucky to even have a tenth of it's population survive the struggle."

Elmyra's hand tightened on her cheek. "That doesn't answer the question Aerith."

Aerith sighed. "I did not have time to waste, so I did what I must mom. If I live through this, I'll face the outcome without regrets."

Elmya's hand dropped away with a sigh, and she moved to the sink, starting to pile dishes in. "I see."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Elmyra glanced over. "Surely you haven't forgotten?"

Aerith gave her a blank look. "Forgotten what?"

Elmyra tapped a spoon on the counter. "Chores dear. This mess isn't going to clean itself."

Aerith huffed a little, "Not my mess," but smiled teasingly at her mother, glad the subject had been dropped, for now. Chores... was such a simple thing she hadn't done in a long time, something to lose herself in, and maybe pretend she was actually a young teenage girl again...

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:** Possessive Sephiroth is possessive | Elmyra knows best. _

* * *

_**Review Responses**_ :

 _Chaosmoon75_ : _Thank you._

 _Azure Shrine: Ask and receive. Cloud's not going to be for awhile._

 _x3eloved: *eyes hanging out*_

 _NocturneX: Aerith's going to need a bit of time to adjust, not to being alive, but **accepting** being alive, not just counting herself on a timer until she dies again and being all doom/gloom/super serious._

 _Sakurablossomhime: You sure about Gast? I took his name right off the FF Wiki._


	14. The Biggest Weed

_**Chapter 14: The Biggest Weed**_

* * *

Aerith could distinctly remember early mornings with Avalanche while out of Midgar, that crisp morning chill in the air. Dawn rising over the horizon. Nature waking up for the day...

That really didn't exist in the slums, where most of their light was artificial, there was hardly a plant in sight, and the air, while cold, smelt awful and was filled with pollutants no one should be breathing in. Still... she found herself slipping out of bedroom and out of the house, moving to the would-be gardens. She knelt down and started inspecting what work her younger self had done here, and then took over. Yanking weeds out-

-and then accidentally taking a flower root and the flower itself out as well.

She blinked a few times before scowling. What had Sephiroth said? She needed a 'Flower's Touch'? Pff... guess he was right.

She gently reburied the root and resumed at a slower pace. Slower, but enduring, without need to stop and rest. Mako had its advantages. She wondered briefly, if she had been enhanced the first time around, if she could have reacted in time on the alter and dodged Sephiroth's killing impalement. She had felt his presence as she had come out of her meditation, but had barely been able to register Cloud and give him a reassuring smile before she had been killed. Superhuman reflexes might have saved her, but who knows if her living would have helped or not. She helped to contain and fight Jenova in the Lifestream after she had died, she didn't know if her efforts had been critical to stalling the planet's death or not. She sure as hell wouldn't have been able to call the Lifestream to push back Meteor while she was alive, that was for certain. If it would have gotten to that point with her alive?

Who knows.

She lost track of time as she did her work. With her hands in the dirt she... noticed something. She had always felt nature, felt the Planet. Now though... with her hands actually touching the ground, in the dirt, on the plants, she could feel it so much more. It was the first time she had touched nature since she had come back in time. She felt so connected to it... felt the pulse of Lifestream within each plant-cell like it was her own blood pumping through her veins. She wondered what it would be like to be truly surrounded by nature? She regretted not entering the forest outside the Forgotten Capital when they had gone there, she had been to... distracted and emotional to think straight then. Not that she had considered nature itself would feel different at the time.

She studied a young flower her hand was gently brushing against, a thought striking her. She focused her energy, pushing it into the flower...

...and watched flabbergasted as the flower _surged_. Growing to it's full height and blooming, but not only that. Other flowers nearby rose as well, and weeds to. The patch around the flower she was touching had suddenly, _in seconds_ , become green and colorful in a way it had taken her and Zack's hard work and dedication to bring about in her past. She brought her hand up and away, staring at it, and then the plantlife, in a childlike wonder. She had been able to help flowers along before, help them grow and flourish, but nothing like this.

"Oh," was all she could whisper.

Then delight played across her face. She moved from one spot to the next, whispering sweet-nothings to the flowers, threading lifestream with childlike ease through the garden. Joy, real joy, filled her for the first time in what felt like ages. She couldn't help but giggle as she went, feeling life grow and surge, the whispers of the lifestream giggling with her. She could feel the warmth of the planet as it's gaze briefly fell on her, drawn curiously to whatever had drawn it's failsafe's delight. There was no words, just warmth and approval.

Images played through her mind, gently laced through the lifestream she was threading. They weren't memories, but desires of the Planet. They were hazy, but their meanings were clear. It showed her, an older her, threading life through the lands dead around Midgar, restoring what had been lost. It showed her finally sealing the Northern Creator, healing the last physical wound on the planet the Calamity's arrival had left. She would go around the world, and heal the Planet's wounded flesh, and any other damage the upcoming struggle with the Calamity would cause. The Planet wanted so badly to be rid of the Calamity, to be healed and restored to the way it had been before all of this had began, without it's children leeching its lifeblood with their reactors.

Aerith thought the Planet was getting ahead of itself with it's desires, but it was nice to dream.

"...she already went back to Shinra! Can't you leave her alone for one damn weekend?" came her mother's loud and angry voice.

Aerith blinked a few times, giving a bewildered start, and stood up, wide eyed. The garden... looked even better than it had when she had last seen it in her previous life. Aside from the weeds having grown like crazy in addition to the flowers, but then again, to the Planet, there was no real difference between what she called a flower and a weed. It was all a part of it. She glanced down at her dirt covered hand in wonder. She had done in one morning what it had taken years to do before.

"I can thread lifestream so easily, even while alive," she murmured to herself, a bit stunned.

One of her first discoveries of her power as a Ancient SOLDIER.

She shook her head and turned to see her mother arguing with Tseng at the front door of her house, a helicopter set down a bit away. She was a bit embarrassed she had been so out of it she hadn't heard a helicopter's arrival. Oh well, best to see what the Turk wanted.

She moved out of the garden as Tseng replied to her mother. "...are fine with her visiting, its the manner of her visit that drew me here today."

"And what, exactly, is the problem?" asked Aerith, coming up to stand next to her mother.

Tseng gave her a brief look over, eyes flickering to the garden, then back to her, but didn't comment on what she had done. "You came down in public transportation."

"...and?" she answered.

Tseng pinched the bridge of his nose. "Your eyes are glowing."

"...annnnndddd?" she stretched out.

Tseng gave her a pointed look. "There are no female SOLDIERs so far as the public knows. Your presence was noted, and it spread from those who had seen you."

"Okay?" she said, scratching her head, "I don't really see the problem. I don't care if people know about me."

Tseng sighed. "Except for one person in particular Aerith. Word of this reached the President."

Oh.

 _Oh._

Crap.

"Ah...," said Aerith, "So...?"

"I'm to take you back to Shinra for a meeting with the President," said Tseng thinly, "He's not happy with the Turks, with SOLDIER, and with the Science Department at the moment. About the only thing he is happy about is that you were 'finally' located and brought into the company."

Aerith scoffed a bit. "Into the company so far as it relates to stopping Jenova."

"That, I will leave to you to argue with him about," said Tseng, motioning to the helicopter, "Shall we?"

Aerith sighed and gave her mother a hug, "I'll be fine mom, I just have to go argue with a moron."

Elmyra chocked a little with laughter. "A-aerith!"

Aerith grinned. "Wanna dare me to say it to his face?"

"I'd rather the President not be antagonized," said Tseng mildly, "Ideally, we want repercussions as limited as possible."

Aerith scoffed. "It's him that should fear repercussions. Rufus took over after he died originally easy enough. I really wouldn't care if that happened a few years sooner if he pushes his luck."

Her mother's laughter died out in seconds; both Elmyra and Tseng stared at her like she was a stranger.

Aerith frowned. "What? He's a greedy bastard who has caused so much harm to the Planet, you can arguably lay the entire Jenova Project at his feet, if not Hojo's."

Tseng pinched his nose ( _for the second time in under five minutes! She was on a roll_ ) and motioned again to the helicopter. "Let's be on our way."

"Aerith," said Elmyra, grabbing her hand briefly before she could go, "It made me smile earlier, to see you happy and giggling in the garden, to see that innocence still there. I don't want to see you lose it all to this hard and cynical attitude you've developed to survive and cope."

Aerith scowled. "I am not _cynical_. And I told you before, I'm _fine_ , I'm not trying to _cope_ with anything."

That worry in her mother's eyes didn't abate.

Aerith merely shook her head and broke away. "I'll be back next weekend mom, I'll see you then."

She walked swiftly away, not wanting to give her mother a chance to respond, and climbed into the helicopter. The ride back was as silent as the one when she had been abducted back to Shinra in her last life. Though rather than her being scared of Tseng this time, it almost felt like the reverse. There was a wariness in his eyes whenever they landed on her. She wasn't quite sure what had suddenly turned on this wariness, and she needed the Turks firmly on her side...

"Is something wrong?" she asked, eyes kept firmly on him.

Tseng didn't immediately reply, and when he did, it was an odd one, "I remember, as a young child freshly escaped from the labs, you once found a small wounded monster in the slums, an infant. Despite what it was, you showed it care, tended to it, and set it on it's way after patching it up. Do you recall this?"

Aerith frowned. "Um... not really, and I hope me saving that monster didn't get someone killed down the road."

Tseng pursed his lips. "My point Aerith, is that you are not a Turk, and despite that glow in your eyes, you are not a SOLDIER, not like they are. You have always cherished life, so when exactly did you find it acceptable to so nonchalantly speak of murdering someone?"

She blinked a few times. "Is this about the _President_? He's scum, he's a monster in human form. He's caused so much suffering, done so much damage to the planet."

"And since when did you care about that?" he inquired, "Several Turks who were hurt in their assignments protecting you over the years were injured, and you tended to us all the same, despite knowing what we are and what we do."

"That was then," she said quietly before growing firm, "This is now. And anything the Turks have down can be pinned on the President."

She narrowed her eyes. "I cherish life, but not that life. Hojo and Jenova are more immediate threats that need to be neutralized and destroyed. The President is _poison_ , bleeding the Planet dry, encouraging and growing the poverty divide, starting a war with Wutai for no good reason, and so much more. He upsets the balance of the world, so much of the suffering that bleeds into the lifestream from the departed originates from what he has enabled."

Tseng scoffed. "I've watched you since your vision. You speak of a 'balance' of the lifestream as if it's your job to maintain it, as if you were the goddess who must maintain and oversee both it and the world, as if its your role to pass judgement. Have you truly become so arrogant Aerith?"

Aerith bristled and was about to reply before something in his words gave her pause, resonating with her.

As if she were the goddess...

Who had faded, been absorbed, into Aerith's soul...

Uh...

She frowned uneasily, her face going blank. There was an unsettingly distinct possibility she might have picked up a few traits from Minerva if her suspicion was correct. But even so... she still agreed with the idea of the President being absolute scum. Heck, she was sure she had thought that way in her previous life, maybe never actually voiced it, but...

Regardless. "I am not the goddess, it is not my place to pass judgement. I am however a free thinking sentient creature, I am entitled to an opinion, even if its not one you think I should have."

She stared at him for a moment before speaking softly, "People change Tseng, I've live- _witnessed_ my entire life, birth to death to afterlife, and now I'm living a second chance. I'm not who you remember, who I _can't be anymore_ , not after that."

Tseng tilted his head slightly, whether in acknowledgement, or to study her, she didn't know. "Then the planet was cruel to show you that vision. A person only gets the chance to be young an innocent once, and more often than not, that chance is lost sooner rather than later."

Aerith smiled a little. "Didn't think you were a romantic Tseng."

"I'm not," he said flatly, "I'm simply stating a fact."

She slowly shook her head, bemused, she had already had her 'young and innocent' years already. "The Planet doesn't care about cruelty Tseng, it'll wipe out humanity if need be to preserve its own life."

She peered at him. "And why am I the only one who gets this talk, hmm?"

"Who said you were?" countered Tseng.

She blinked a few times. Now that's curious. Something tickled a memory from her time, of Veld's old Turks long thought dead coming out of the woodworks after Meteorfall to help. Ah... Turks didn't follow company policy, did they? At least not with their own, they had let the old guard retire and go into hiding at some point rather than kill them all.

She gave him a fond smile. "Reno is funny, but you always were my favorite Turk."

Even if he had been a pain in the ass, and abducted her that one time...

Tseng blinked at her in response.

She couldn't help but giggle a little and shake her head, turning it to stare out the helicopter window. Her amusement faded as they approached the tower, irritation rising. Not only did she not want to deal with the President, they had taken her from her weekend retreat (which she had been nagged into taken) when she had just started enjoying herself. Tseng was also like... the third or fourth person who kept pestering her about her 'changes' in lifestyle and personality, it was starting to get irksome. There was a small little voice in the back of her mind saying that if so many people started seeing a problem, maybe there was one, but she snuffed it out. She'd focus on her training, and spend her weekends at home, that would be the best compromise they were going to get.

"We should probably give you a minute to change," said Tseng as the helicopter landed.

Aerith huffed. "He interrupted my weekend by having me dragged here, he can deal with a bit of dirt on his oh-so shiny floor."

Tseng pinched his nose again with an exasperated sight ( _third time!_ ). She wondered with a bit of childish deviousness how many times she could get that reaction out of him. Surely such thinking was just her now-teenage mind rebelling against authority, not petty-payback for the last life.

Surely not.

 _Tee hee._

Her lips twitched with masked amusement, though judging by the raised eyebrow he gave her, he was more than aware she was egging him on. Her amusement faded about five minutes later when the elevator dinged to the top floor of the Shinra building and they made for the president's 'office' (who seriously needed an office the size of an entire floor?). They passed the receptionist, and made up the stairs.

She paused briefly when she heard Sephiroth's voice, "...ith respect Mr. President, I should have been informed years ago."

They made their way up, and found a gathering of Sephiroth, Angeal, Genesis, Veld, Lucrecia, Vincent, a man she vaguely recognized through her Lifestream memories as Director Lazard, Rufus, Scarlet, Heidegger and a number of Turks silently standing to the side of the President's desk as if for protection. Which was absurd, as any of the three SOLDIERs could carve a path through all of them no problem. She was a bit surprised to see Rufus there, she had thought he had been in Junon for quite a few years prior to the President's death. Perhaps that hadn't happened yet? Or he had been recalled? Still, with such a gathering, this was going to be _oodles of fun_. She wondered how much she had already missed.

President Shinra tapped a cigarette into a tray and stared at Sephiroth, hard and uncompromising, "You know company policy Sephiroth. It was above your clearance level."

"It was also done without my express permission," said Sephiroth.

The President motioned to Lucrecia, "We had hers, and since you weren't even born yet, it wasn't your call to make. Even if you were, she and Hojo would have had the right to agree to your... treatments, until you turned of age."

Tseng kept Aerith back a bit from the group, signaling for her to remain silent until called for. She had no intention of speaking anyway, not yet at least. If the President kept egging Sephiroth on, she might not have to. There was an old phrase or something she had heard, to not poke large and scary monsters unless you wanted to get bit. She thought that applied here. Sephiroth was not someone to be trifled with lightly.

"Perhaps," allowed Sephiroth, his hands flexing and tightening behind his back, "I did however reach Midgar's age of maturity several years ago. At that point, I should have been informed of the details of what had been done to me, and what was continuing to be done. As Doctor Crescent has discovered, these continual Mako Booster Checkups served no purpose other than to waste company money and time. I am not one to boast, but I am considered to be a very detail oriented and observational person, who knows what else could have been discovered about Hojo's treachery had I become informed earlier."

The President sighed and looked at the SOLDIER as if he was a petulant child. "I've never known you to be so stubborn my boy. Still..."

He frowned. "You are correct on Hojo's waste of resources. But as I understand it, the Science Department's _issues_ are being dealt with. That's not why I called this meeting however, its that this was done, that all of this was done, without _**my** _ knowledge or approval. That is a clear breach of company policy. I can understand acting within the moment as the situation dictates and then coming to report latter, but if not for Scarlet hearing a _rumor_ and finding a picture of the Ancient, I would have been kept in the dark."

That blasted harpy lady, Scarlet should have kept her mouth shut.

Heidegger let out his awful horse laugh. "It's a good thing _some of us_ are loyal then, and not potential renegades."

Sephiroth turned to glare at him. "Are you implying something? In case you noticed, I took no action against the company, and I'm still in Shinra when I had ever right and reason to leave."

President Shinra narrowed his eyes. "Leave? Shinra is in your blood Sephiroth, its your life, you are a SOLDIER, you think you can just leave?"

Sephiroth turned and drew himself up to his full height, his voice taking a warning edge. "You think you have the means to force me to stay here if I chose not to?"

There was a pause to the gathering, and a dangerous chill in the air that made Aerith just a bit nervous. Judging by the hesitancy on the President's face, and the slightest tint of fear in his eyes, this might be the first time the President realized he could not actually control Sephiroth unless the man let him.

Sephiroth didn't give him a chance to respond. "If I walked out the door, Angeal and Genesis walk with me, and you can be certain we would disclose to SOLDIER the exact details of what was done to them without their knowledge. You had an unknown organism injected into us all..."

"Now wait a minute," said the President, on a defensive backtrack, "I acted with what knowledge I was given to me!. I was told Jenova was an Ancient, not an Alien."

"Perhaps, had you not had Professor Faremis killed, you would have known better," said Sephiroth thinly.

The President stood up from his desk, a dark scowl across his face. "You are out of line Sephiroth, and wrong. Gast Faremis was supposed to be taken in _alive_ by any means, not killed, those were my orders at the time. He was a valuable resource to the company, I wanted him returned to the fold, not executed. Hojo acted on his own volition."

"And was he punished for this?" asked Sephiroth mildly, "Or did you let him get away with it since he held the 'keys' to SOLDIER?"

The President narrowed his eyes, and was about to respond before Rufus started laughing, drawing their attention.

The young Vice President held up a hand while he finished his chuckles before lowering it, "Gentlemen, gentlemen, there's no need to get viscous. We're here to... clear the air... not to set us up to throttle one another. Besides..."

His eyes flickered to Aerith. "It's unbecoming to show such manners before a lady."

Aerith rolled her eyes.

The President followed his gaze, landing on Aerith, a gleam of greed entering his eyes, before he refocused and huffed a little, sitting down, hands running down his suit as if to push away wrinkles. "Thank you Rufus."

His son flashed a smile that was all teeth.

The President cleared his throat. "Now, I suppose we will get to the heart of the matter. Verdot, why was I not informed she had been not only recovered, but incorporated into SOLDIER?"

Veld cleared his throat. "Miss Gainsborough was not 'recovered', she came to us willingly, with certain conditions for her continued stay. Secrecy among them."

The President did not seem amused judging by the look he gave the Turk.

Veld didn't react to it. "It's better she willingly work with us than try to force her, she escaped Shinra once and could do so again, I'd rather she choose to stay rather than lead us on a chase for years again."

She wondered if she should admire how smoothly he lied and spun a tail for the President to eat up.

The President took a puff of his cigarette, staring at his head Turk with eyebrows slightly narrowed. "I see."

He turned to look at Aerith, then with a bit of disdain at her dirt-covered clothes. "Still, she is here, so perhaps we can finally get the Neo-Midgar project underway."

Sephiroth cocked his head. "The Neo-Midgar Project?"

The President paused, and then pursed his lips. "While it is above your clearance grade, perhaps as a show of good faith you and the others can be brought into the fold. Your strength may be needed to secure the Promised Land once she leads us to it."

Aerith stared at him, disbelief and then irritation playing across her face. That's right, this buffoon was obsessed with the Promised Land, of all the stupid...

She stalked forward, ignoring Tseng's hissed 'Aerith!' and came up to his desk. "The Promised Land does not exist as you think it does."

The President narrowed his eyes at her. "I was under the assumption you were working with us, Ancient, it will do you no favors to lie."

"You think I'm lying?" she said, "Tell me, what do you think the Promised Land is?"

"A glorious place filled with infinite Mako," said Shinra, "Where we can create a new, glorious city and future."

Infinite Mako. Of course it was about Mako, greedy son of a...

"And _where_ exactly did you get that idea from?" she asked.

"From what was translated from Cetra legends, based off of several philosophers and scientists, wrapped up and presented to me based off Professor Hojo's findings," said the President firmly.

"Translations can be incorrect, philosophers aren't all knowing, especially when they don't have all the information, and any scientist who fed you any hogwash about 'infinite' anything is either a fool or leading you on for their own benefit," said Aerith thinly, "Especially Hojo, who would take advantage of anything to get him more funding for his 'projects'."

At that, there was a slight hint of doubt in his eyes before he banished it. "And how do we know you are not lying and not Hojo?"

"Aside from the fact that he's already been caught in several lies by now?" she asked, "I'm more than willing to tell you what the Promised Land _actually_ is, and if you are really interested..."

She gave him a chilling look, "I'd even send you there."

The President's eyebrows rose, interest and greed shining there. "Would you now?"

Sephiroth however was not an idiot, and must have caught the undertone of her words, he cleared his throat. "Perhaps you should explain before offering to send anyone anywhere."

Aerith smiled an unpleasant smile. "Of course, because really, anyone here could send you the Promised Land."

That drew the man's confusion. "How?"

"The Cetra were born from the Planet, speak with the Planet, and unlock the Planet. At the **_end_ ** of their days, the Cetra will return to the Promised Land. A land that promises supreme happiness," said Aerith, "Is this roughly what you know of the legend?"

The President nodded. "It is."

"The Promised Land," she said thinly, "Is the _afterlife_."

A blank looked crossed his face.

"The place of supreme happiness is the Lifestream" she said, eyes and head turning briefly to gaze around at the rooms occupants, "Where all earthly troubles fade away, where you become one with the Planet, experiencing all its hopes and joys and sorrows as if they were your own, where you are finally able to rest your weary soul after a long life. Where your soul slowly becomes renewed, sharing your experiences with the Planet until it is time for you to be reborn again with a clean slate in some form or another. That is what the Legend means."

She stared coldly at the President. "Hojo fed you exactly what you wanted to hear. Infinite Mako is a _myth_ , it isn't real. While Mako, the Lifestream, can regenerate itself over time, it is by no means infinite. The more you drain from it, the weaker it will become, and the longer it will take to recover. Your Reactors are unsustainable, and ignoring the fact that the Planet will take action and destroy them far before it reached that point, they would drain the planet within the next hundred or so years and make this world uninhabitable."

The President said nothing, face contorted with... anger? Rage? Disbelief? It was hard to tell with how fast they flashed.

Sephiroth however did not remain silent. "What do you mean that the Planet would 'take action'?"

"Have any of you ever heard any legends about the Planet's WEAPONS?" she inquired, turning to look at Sephiroth.

There was a collective answer of silence, no, or headshakes, save for Lucrecia, who spoke quietly, "They are said to be immense monsters that the planet created in ages past to defend it."

"That Legend," said Aerith, "Is a very real one, and a very dangerous one. There are six primary WEAPONS, any one of them would require your top SOLDIERs to fight seriously to even stand a chance. Even Sephiroth would need to fight at near peak performance in order to win.

Well, not the One-Winged Angel who was vastly stronger with Jenova's powers, but this current Sephiroth would probably have to cut loose, or at least fight seriously (Maybe? She had never seen his power at this point in his life). She refrained from revealing Omega or Chaos, their existence and purposes were nothing Shinra needed to know about.

Heidegger scoffed. "You expect us to believe this hogwash? Even if these 'WEAPONs' are real, Shinra's military could take them on, even without SOLDIER!"

Aerith stared at him and said flatly, "I'd like to see you try. I'd personally be rooting for the Planet."

"Enough," barked out the President, mood finally turned sour.

He reached a hand out for a piece of paper on his desk and brought it to him, clicking a pen, and then signing his name on it before offering it to Veld, "I cannot fathom how much time and resources Hojo has cost the company. I am authorizing Hojo's termination. I'd prefer he be brought back in for interrogation, but if there is to much of a hassle, just kill him."

There was a dark scowl on the President's face. "Come Monday, there will be a board meeting to discuss how the funds going into the Neo-Midgar project can be reallocated. This meeting is adjourned for the time being. Get. Out. Of. My. Office. All of you. Now!"

Well, someone was angry someone pissed in his cereal. The general board scrambled to get away and not entice the President's wrath, while SOLDIER and the Turks simply filed out calmly. Aerith was sure this wouldn't be the end of this subject, especially the actions of the Turks, SOLDIER, and the Science Department, (and her own) but apparently that was enough for the President for one day.

"Aerith," came Veld's thin voice.

She turned and let him yank her to the side, briefly waving the board of directors away before he spoke, irritation in his voice, "You are lucky the President was to absorbed to miss that you threatened to kill him. I was not. _Don't_ do that again."

"Why not?" came Rufus's amused voice, "I found it entertaining to see a teenage girl go off on him like that. "

"With due respect Rufus," said Veld thinly, "You should remember it is the Turk's responsibility to safeguard the President. If the President took offense and handed down a punishment in response, that could have gotten messy."

"I'm not afraid of him," said Aerith calmly, meeting Veld's hard gaze with her own, "Nor am I afraid of _any_ of you."

Veld's eyes furrowed, his voice taking a warning tone, "Aerith..."

"Let me make myself clear Veld," said Aerith, tilting her chin up in defiance, "I have no loyalty to Shinra and how they conduct things. I would mourn the loss of life, but if it came down to Shinra or the Planet, I would choose to aid the Planet in a heartbeat. And be warned, I am the last of the Planet's chosen children, the last Ancient," the failsafe, "There is little the Planet wouldn't do to protect me, up to and including allowing me to call upon the WEAPONs if I deem it necessary."

Veld stared at her in astonishment, and bafflement, giving her a look so reminiscent of the ones Tseng and mom had given her, as if she were a complete and utter stranger. She didn't particularly care at the moment. President Shinra had ticked her off far to much for her to, and that Veld would even think about taking his side?

"I have nothing positive to think or say about President Shinra and all the suffering he has caused," she said coldly, "Nor of anyone who would support him over doing what is right. I don't want any of you to die, but make no mistake on what I will do to see to the Planet's survival."

With that, she turned away and marched down the lobby isle, walking for the exit and the elevator to go to her room...

* * *

"Angeal," said Sephiroth slowly one the Ancient had left, "You said she told you her visions were as if she lived through them, correct?"

"Yeah," said Angeal quietly.

"Did anyone learn exactly how old she was by the end of these... 'visions'?" asked Sephiroth, looking at the gathered Turks and SOLDIERs, before pointing at the lobby exit, "Because _that_ was anything but a thirteen year old flower girl."

Rufus was smiling, gazing approvingly at the exit, "That was someone who would walk through any of us to see her goals achieved."

He laughed. "I think I like her."

Sephiroth merely shook his head and made for the exit, was not sure he could say the same. He did not stay to listen to the chatter or anyone else's observations, he needed peace and quiet and isolation to think. It was occurring to him just how little he knew or understood about the Ancient despite what he had observed thus far. He had seen her seriousness on occasion, shown a strong will and determination that he had approved of, but this? What he had just seen, heard, and felt from her? This was new, and it took him offguard. Frankly, Rufus was right. She wanted to give them all a chance, but if push came to shove, she would walk through them all to see Jenova dead and the Planet safeguarded at all costs. Knowing this, he had to acknowledge she had probably considered the potential necessity of killing him if Jenova got a foothold in his mind. She had a kindness to her, but also a harshness brought on by her experiences, and it made him realize something.

Aerith was _**dangerous**._

Not just potentially dangerous in the future when she was fully trained and had come into her power and abilities.

She was dangerous **_now_** , and was only going to become more dangerous at time went on. He also had to seriously consider her mental stability as he had to consider his own and that of his SOLDIERs. Just how much had her 'visions' warped what had once been a kind and gentle young woman? He wondered if she realized just how much she had changed, how unlike she had used to be according to her profile. Would the flower girl that existed before even considered unleashing these 'WEAPONs' on Shinra? Because he made no mistake in understanding that there would most likely be heavy civilian casualties in the crossfire.

That she would consider that?

He didn't know if he should respect the steel in her eyes or be wary of it.

Most likely both.

She was not mentally healthy, not in terms of insanity, but in outlook. Her obsessive training, the lack of respect for her own life, treating herself like a tool of the Planet to destroy anything that would threaten it (or perhaps a shield to protect it). She reminded him faintly of some of the Eco-fanatics he had read about when researching the planet after her revelation that it was in fact ' _sentient in its own way_ '. While he doubted she would appreciate the gesture for what it was, perhaps a psychiatrist was in order. It was well within his right to order sessions since she was a SOLDIER under his jurisdiction. The only issue would be elevating the clearance of whichever SOLDIER 'shrink' was chosen, and getting them to accept her 'visions' for what they were. He doubted Aerith would appreciate being tended to by a doctor who thought she was insane because of her 'visions'.

He snorted in derision as he reached the elevator and went in, thumbing the button down. "Visions. Pah."

They had actually placed a paycheck's worth of bets each on what the actual truth behind it was. It was a shame Angeal had selected 'from the future' as his bet, that was certainly what he would have put his money on. Angeal had taken time traveling into her younger body (and it still amused Sephiroth that Angeal had defaulted to that guess), Genesis had lost any doubt in her after getting cured by Holy and chose to accept her words as truth. Sephiroth hadn't honestly been left with any good options and just quietly assumed he was going to be down a paycheck and thrown his money on her being fed confidential information as a way for Shinra to cover it's backside and try to save face before Sephiroth discovered the truth on his own and throttling them all for it.

And hadn't Genesis looked so _smug_ in realizing Sephiroth was going to lose that bet no contest. Hmph. Perhaps they should have bet on how long Aerith would keep up the charade of it all instead, the amount of times she kept slipping up were amusing after all. It would have to get tiresome for her at some point, but he wouldn't purposefully end the game of cat and mouse by calling her out on it.

Either way, whether she had come back from the future, or experienced visions from the future as if she had lived them, the result for the Ancient was the same. She had died, had everyone she cared about die, and had born witness to the end of the world. He had seen the scars left behind on SOLDIERs and army personnel who came back from Wutai traumatized and damaged, he did not have the exposure to calculate how many scars the woman bore herself from her experiences. It made him wonder, what part of her was the real Aerith, and what part of her was the one brought about by her trials? How much were they different, and how much were they one in the same?

He supposed he'd eventually find out. For now, he had to look into SOLDIER psychiatrists and pick out one he deemed appropriate...

* * *

 _Author's Notes : Were there any Shinra Shrinks ever named in any media for FF7? Or am I going to have to Crawford it and make an OC? (I dislike doing that unless OCs are the purpose of the story)  
_

* * *

 ** _Review Responses:_**

 _UnLike Us : Yeah... it was NOT a good few weeks for Elmyra, not at all. Aerith (and me) ought to be ashamed!  
_

 _Sakurablossomhime : Mmm, I don't really want to keep arguing the point, but wouldn't Cloud Strike be Strife Cloud them with that assumption?_

 _Tamsen : ., ., maybe both? :D_

 _Guest(1) : lol._

 _NocturneX : All made up (I think), but I believe it fits, at least for this story. And Genesis will never know, or they'd get into a brawl over the sheer amount of teasing. :D_

 _Greatazuredragon : thx._

 _Azure Shrine : Oh no, its fine, I'm not insulted, in fact, I'm rather delighted that you came to that conclusion. Aerith has changed, and not fully in a healthy/good way (and Minerva certainly doesn't help). I may not always express it the right way, but I enjoy cultivating stories like this, rather than just 'timeskipping several years to the main conflict of the story'. It adds more meat, more meaning, rather than just a quick/cheap action read. Aerith really needs a chance to vent/air her issues and come to terms with her past life rather than just ball it up under 'duty as the Last Ancient/Failsafe of the Planet', especially since she's kind of in denial about having issues to begin with. Aerith wont be the same, cant be the same, after all that happened, but she can at least learn to live her life again. And don't you worry, Elmyra will have her chance to have a proper mom/daughter relationship again, last chapter was but their first meeting, setting the stage (because mom knows best and sees everything Aerith denies).  
_

 _Dark-KannaI : Ahhhh, I missed the perfect opportunity for this! Noooooo!_

 _Guest(2) : As I said to Azure, Aerith wont/cant be the same person she used to be, but she can adapt and heal and learn to live._


	15. Assessment

_**Chapter 15 - Assessment**_

* * *

 _ **Note** : Will be introducing an 'OC' this chapter, and a tie in to a minor lore character, including coming up for a last name that was never given to my knowledge.  
_

* * *

"Alright people, turn to page three of your packets."

Reno of the Turks, idly flipped to his page, brushing a flick of his red hair out of the way, blue eyes half on their grim director in their oh so snazy Turk suit. It wasn't often Veld gathered them all like this, and when it happened, something was going to, or already had, gone very wrong.

Especially when he glanced at the page. "Bossman."

"Reno."

"Not that I'm complainin n all, but uh, should we be receiving transcripts of a meeting with the _President_?"

Veld had a tight smile.

Reno raised an eyebrow.

Veld's smile didn't budge.

Ho boy, something had really put the boss in a fit. "Somebody say something they shouldn't have? Whose the target?"

Veld's eyes were sharp. "There is no target, not in the traditional sense."

Reno blinked.

One of the others, Shotgun he thinks, snickered at his blank response, making Reno huff a bit.

"Wait, this is about the Ancient?" came Cissnei's voice.

Reno glanced back down at the packet and started skimming through.

"Holy shit, did she really threaten to axe the President?" chocked out Knife.

Woah woah woah, "What yo? She did _what_?"

"Read the packet," came Veld's harsh voice.

They did, and Reno's eyebrows steadily climbed to their peak. "She'd make a good Turk with dat attitude."

"Except the part where she has no loyalty to the Company or the Turks," pointed out Gun.

"Aww c'mon Emma," said Reno, a lazy smile on his face, "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Buried about six-feet under where I have no intention of joining it," she said flatly.

"Reno."

He turned towards Tseng. "Yeah?"

"Be quiet."

Reno's jaw snapped close. Hint taken. These guys were always way to serious, needed to liven up a little. Then again...

He glanced back down at the packet, where the Ancient had not-so-subtly threatened that she would kill any of them if she thought it would save the Planet. Hearing it second hand like this normally wouldn't affect him, but... it wasn't often he (ever) saw Veld look rattled. And Tseng, that jaw of his was set _tight_. Maybe this once he'd cut them some slack.

He could always prank them later, was always a good tension breaker

Veld gave them a few minutes to finish before turning on the meeting room projector, playing a clip of the lobby where Veld had confronted Aerith. It was one thing to read it, but when her cold and sharp voice rang out, it put a chill down his spine.

" _I have nothing positive to think or say about President Shinra and all the suffering he has caused_ ," she said coldly, " _Nor of anyone who would support him over doing what is right. I don't want any of you to die, but make no mistake on what I will do to see to the Planet's survival_."

He studied her body language, and swore under his breath. "Damn yo, she means it."

Veld clicked the projector off and moved to stand at the front of the room. "This changes things. Our primary objective is to still find and eliminate Hojo and Jenova. However, in regards to Aerith, our role is no longer solely about protecting her. She's more than capable of protecting herself, and if anything, we need to run interference to protect the Company from _her,_ with none-lethal means. Preferably by solving conflicts between her and the board before they can come to a head."

Reno ( _wisely_ ) chose not to comment on that.

Maur (Mr. knuckles himself!) cleared his throat. "What information do we have on these... WEAPONs?"

"Not much," admitted Veld, "I'm vaguely aware of some research done by Doctor Crescent back when she was involved with Valentine, but I'm not sure how relevant it is. That needs to change."

"Where is he by the way?" asked Two-Guns.

Veld waved towards the door. "Keeping an eye on the Ancient. She is, as far as I'm concerned, his primary responsibility."

"Well, frees us up from having to do that," mused Katana, shifting in his seat, "But that's not why he's not here, is it?"

Veld pursed his lips. "Once a Turk, always a Turk, until the day we die. Vincent died, and was brought back. He's also not the only being in that body. They are loyal to Aerith before even considering the Company, especially when Hojo was given free reign on Vincent."

A collective dark look passed the room, Reno couldn't help but crack his knuckles. If he ever got a hold of Hojo, oh he'd make that sick freak pay. No one crossed the Turks like that. **_No one_**.

"What does that mean for us?" asked Cissnei quietly, "You just pointed out that Hojo was _allowed_ to do so."

Reno blinked. Ah shit, she was right.

"Rupert Shinra," said Veld thinly, "Is our President only in name."

Reno's eyes went wide, sharp intakes crossing the room. That was borderline treason...

"We all understand that if need be, we will die for this Company," said Veld slowly, "Our loyalty has always been Company first, Turks second, ourselves third, and then everyone else. That is a fact that should have been respected by the President. It was not. He allowed Hojo to take Vincent, and who knows how many other Turks that have ' _died_ ' under mysterious circumstances, not to mention..."

He trailed off for a moment. "...not to mention what happened with the Old Guard."

Reno tensed a little. The Old Guard, Turks before they were known as Turks, was a careful subject. Each and every member was all kinds of classified to hell and back. Very little was confirmed about them except that Veld and Vincent had been _the team_ back in the day. And that Veld hadn't always been the director. Rumors about what had happened to the previous director...

Well.

There was a saying: 'You can't take back a bullet'.

And it was left at that. Digging into the past was a great way to get shot.

"That doesn't touch on family either," said Veld, eyes going over to their newest recruit.

Reno glanced briefly at Felicia, er, _Blade_ as she was code-named now. Reno liked the nickname to be sure, but waaaay to many people gave him shit for his. Him and Rod had it the worst. Anyway, Blade was a stick in the mud kind of girl, way to quiet and serious. But they all knew what Hojo had done to her, taken from the Kalm survivors and experimented on. Sure she got off better than most of Hojo's projects, but still...

"Our priorities have now changed."

And there was the actual treason. Ho boy...

"We are loyal to our family first and foremost," said Veld calmly, firmly, as if what he was saying wouldn't get him shot under normal circumstances, "The Ancient second, and everything else at your own discretion within due reason. If you develop a conflict of interest with the Company, clear it with me first, and try to be discreet about it."

Reno whistled a little.

The heavy silence that descended on the room afterwords made him wanna turn on his phone and play some tunes to break it. He let his eyes slowly look around, sizing up everyone's reaction. Most of the older, more experienced Turks, kept it under wraps. Some of the newer ones, 'cept blade, were staring wide eyed at the Director. Damn room was way to serious.

"Bout damn time bossman," Reno decided to say, slappin the table, "Bout damn time."

Veld allowed himself a small smile before going hard again. "As such, I have new standing orders."

"Reno, Rude, you two are taking over the hunt for Hojo," said Veld, displeased, "As I will be disposed with the President for the foreseeable future."

Reno grinned savagely, "Won't let you down bossman."

He held up a finger. "But, if you find any sign of Jenova, you are to pull out and contact me. Am I clear?"

Reno nodded and glanced at Rude. "Up for it man?"

The bald Turk merely raised an eyebrow over his shades in response.

"We're game bossman," said Reno cheerfully.

Veld pursed his lips. "You and Rude will also be taking cyanide tablets with you."

Reno blinked a few times. "Eh?"

"If Hojo captures you, you'll want a way out," Veld said grimly.

Reno frowned a little, nodding seriously.

Veld turned to Tseng. "Tseng, I'm assigning you on inter-department relations. You are to facilitate communications between the Turks, SOLDIER, the Science Department, and Aerith."

"And the Science Department?" clarified Tseng.

Veld had a soft smile on his face. "Lucy is someone we can trust without Hojo there breathing down her neck. She'll clean it up."

Lucy eh? Doctor Crescent had an in with the Director it seemed.

"Other departments you will interact with at your own discretion," said Veld, "If something major comes up, contact me."

Tseng nodded and went silent.

"Two Guns, Katana, Rod, I want the three of you on research duty," said Veld, "Find me everything you can about these WEAPONs Aerith mentioned, and see if there isn't some folklore somewhere we missed about Jenova."

"Yes Director," echoed back the trio.

Veld frowned briefly, "Gun."

"Yes Director?"

"Any chance your sister is interested in joining up? Last I saw her scores in the academy were well within our range. Would be a shame to lose her to another department."

Gun shifted a little, uncomfortable. "I'm not sure she'd be suited for our life."

Veld raised an eyebrow. "Is that your honest opinion, or sibling rivalry?"

Gun scowled a little. "Elena has way to open a mouth, sir."

"I suppose we'll see, you and Shotgun are on recruitment duty, start with your sister and branch out from there," said Veld, "I have a feeling we're going to need to expand and bring any new members up to speed quickly."

"Judet, Maur," said Veld.

Pff, course Mr. and Miss fists got to be on first name basis with the Director.

"I want you two on watch duty for Scarlet and Heidegger," said Veld.

The two martial artists nodded.

"Shuriken," said Veld, an unusual hint of awkwardness in his voice, "I want you to keep an eye on Zack Fair."

Cissnei tilted her head. "Of course director, any particular reason or something I should be on the lookout for?"

"It's as a unasked favor to Aerith," said Veld, "He meant something to the Ancient in her visions, he's important, and I'd see that he lives to fulfill his potential."

She nodded. "Yes director."

"Nunchaku," said Veld, voice going serious.

"Yes sir."

"I want you to see if you can't get Legend back here," said Veld.

Eyes shot up all around the table. Damn... Veld thought shit was getting serious if he wanted Legend back.

Nunchaku nodded. "I'll do what I can, what are we prepared to offer him?"

"Truth," said Veld, "Do not, under any circumstance, lie to him. Inform him of the developments with Aerith, and our department. See if that can draw his interest back in. If not, return, because nothing else is going to sway him."

"Yes sir."

"Knife," said Veld.

"Yes boss?"

"I'll be giving you a list of... current and former employees deemed to unethical to keep in the Science Department," said Veld thinly, "Terminate them at your discretion."

"Of course sir."

"Daww, she gets all the fun," whined Reno.

Veld raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to swap? I'm sure she'd readily take the chance to slit Hojo's throat."

Reno smirked a little. "Naahh, I'll take on mr. creepy."

"Blade," said Veld, turning from Reno, "I will assign you to shadow various members and learn from them. More than anything, you need experience right now. You will rotate between teams, follow their instructions, and aid them as best you can."

"Yes fath... _sir_ ," corrected Blade.

"You all have your orders then," said Veld, "If there is nothing else, you are dismissed."

* * *

Aerith stared blankly at Crawford, "Come again?"

She had been, rather than meet him in a training room come Monday morning, led to an office on another floor. It was comfortably and homily furnished, with a large cushiony chair that someone could sink into on the other side of the office. Sitting at a desk towards the front of the office was a petite woman with glasses, redish-brown hair, and brown eyes dressed in a professional purple suit. She seemed almost familiar for some reason, but Aerith couldn't quite place it. Crawford had introduced her as... well...

"Since you need your ears cleared out," said Crawford thinly, "I will repeat myself this once. This is Doctor Alberta Redman, she has been assigned as your therapist. You are required to attend a one hour session with her at bear minimum once a week, more if either of you deem it necessary. Do you have any questions?"

The name didn't ring a bell, but... she could swear the woman looked like that one old member of AVALANCHE she had briefly met...

"Do... you have a daughter?" asked Aerith the therapist.

Doctor Redman blinked, a little taken aback. "Yes? Have you met Jessica?"

Jessica. Jessie. Oh. She wondered how Jessie ended up with Avalanche if her mother was a SOLDIER therapist... maybe the woman got killed at some point and that set her daughter against them? Wouldn't be hard to imagine with the woman's job to deal with super-powered SOLDIERs on the verge of cracking. Brave woman, or perhaps suicidal.

"Not directly, but, I knew a friend of hers who pointed her out to me once," half-lied Aerith.

"Hmm," said Doctor Redman, studying her.

Which, reminded Aerith of her initial surprise and confusion, turning to Crawford, "Why am I seeing a Therapist exactly?"

"Because you were ordered to Gainsborough," said Crawford, voice hard, "The order came from the top, and you will obey it."

There was... an air of wariness about the old SOLDIER instructor now when he interacted with her now, something Aerith didn't like. It was a watchfulness in his eyes, as if he thought she might snap or something. It was a bit irritating, and she really wondered who had assigned her to this, she wanted to slap them upside the head.

"And I have no choice in this?" asked Aerith.

"Not if you ever want to get promoted or assigned to anything but a desk job for the rest of your life," said Crawford thinly.

She scowled back at him, making him growl out, "You will cooperate with the Doctor, Gainsborough, that is an _order_."

"Yes sir," she gritted out.

"Good, I'll see you in an hour for training then," said Crawford, turning heel and then leaving the two woman alone.

Doctor Redman gave Aerith a pleasant smile. "I'm pleased to meet you Miss Gainsborough, do you mind if I call you Aerith?"

Aerith stared at the woman for a moment, a little tense. "Alright..."

She didn't have any issue with the woman herself, just the stupid situation she was in. She didn't need this...

"You can call me Alberta, or Alby for short," said Doctor Redman.

"Alberta is fine," said Aerith.

The woman nodded before glancing down at a folder of papers open on her desk. "I must admit, it's a privilege to offer aid to the last living Ancient."

Aerith blinked a few times. "You know?"

"I was called and read in yesterday," said Alberta, "It was all rather sudden, but reading the compiled information and what you've told various people about the vision the Planet gave you, I understand why."

Not another person...

She gritted out, "I'm **_fine_**."

Alberta gave her a sad smile. "Many people disagree, as do I. I'm not here to condemn or judge you, but to help."

Aerith pursed her lips, but didn't respond.

Alberta motioned to the cushony chair. "Would you please have a seat over there so that we may begin?"

Aerith sighed and stood, moving over and sitting down, sinking into the chair. Oh that was comfy... she couldn't help but relax a little. It was way better than the slab of bricks they slept on in the Third Class rooms. She was half tempted to snooze off the meeting.

Alberta pulled over her desk chair, taking the folder with her, and sat down a bit from her. "I know the thought of this sessions makes you uncomfortable, and that's understandable. No SOLDIER, in fact, most people even, dislike the thought of seeking help. There is a very foolish, and _harmful_ , stigma about seeking counseling that prevents people from getting the aid they need. It does not make you weak to come here, in fact, I dare to say it takes a great strength to confront and come to terms with your past."

She tilted her head. "Or perhaps your future in this case."

Aerith snorted a bit.

Alberta smiled, not taking offense. "I admit, this will be a learning experience for me as well. No one alive can say they've treated an Ancient before, there is no exact precedent or experience that I can draw from to help us with some of the topics here."

She leaned forward and whispered as if it were a secret, "I guess we're both gonna be a bit nervous and stumble through this together huh?"

Aerith smiled hesitantly. "I... guess?"

Alberta leaned back, pleased. "Alright then. We're not going to go to indepth in the first session. It will be more like an introduction and brief overview. At the end, we can determine a schedule that will work best for you. Okay?"

Aerith shrugged and mumbled. "Okay."

"Great," said Alberta glancing down at the papers in her lap. "Hmm. So, a lot of your vision was vague, despite some of the more details specifics you gave others. Could you give me a brief timetable of how things would have went if you hadn't joined SOLDIER?"

Aerith nodded, it sounded easy enough. "Umm, okay. Well, if I hadn't come here, I would have stayed as an unknown flower girl for a few years until..."

Her throat constricted a little. "...until I met _my_ _Zack_."

"Your Zack?" asked Alberta.

"T-there's...," began Aerith hesitatingly, "There's a Zack here, in SOLDIER, but he's... he's not the Zack I _knew_."

Alberta studied her for a moment before closing her eyes. "Oh, that's something I didn't even consider, did I? You told Mr. Hewely that you experienced these visions as if you lived them, correct?"

Aerith nodded.

"You're going to meet people that you knew, perhaps deeply, that have no clue who you are," said Alberta softly.

Aerith flinched and looked away. "I know..."

"Since I know this now, is that how you really know my daughter?" asked Alberta.

Aerith winced a little. "That easy to see through?"

"You're not a very good liar," said Alberta with a smile.

"Yeah, I... I knew of Jessie, I only really met her once briefly, technically twice,...," Aerith trailed off uncomfortably.

"Oh?" asked Alberta, a teasing smile on her face, "Did Jessica cause trouble again?"

Yeah, she blew helped to blow up two reactors, but she wasn't going to reveal that.

"She died," said Aerith softly, watching Alberta freeze for a moment, "She gave her life trying to stop a massacre."

Alberta closed her eyes for a moment, collected herself, before she opened her eyes, "I see. Well, I'm... glad Jessica found a cause worthy to give her life for..."

Aerith smiled sadly, "I met her for the second time briefly in the lifestream, she and her friends were struggling a bit to move on. Their lives in a few years from now and their deaths had been... hard. I helped them as best I could."

Alberta didn't respond, eyes furrowed in thought. "Hmm... I bet it was those two boys, always dragging her into all kinds of trouble."

"Biggs and Wedge?"

"Those are the ones."

Aerith giggled. "Maybe. She found her own trouble I'd say."

Alberta smiled a little. "She always does. I suppose I'll have to be more careful in my future then."

Aerith blinked a few times.

Alberta's smile turned a bit thin. "I'd never let my daughter get into life-threatening trouble or live a hard life if I was alive, Aerith. On that you can trust."

Aerith... didn't respond to that.

"Anyway, could you continue where you left off?" she asked, "You met your Zack?"

Aerith nodded, a sad, grieving smile on her face. "Yeah... he was so sweet... we started dating for awhile between his missions. I watched him... slowly shut down over time. He was always so cheerful, but, it was so easy to see when he was forcing it, or using me to drown and run from his own troubles. When Angeal died... it was the one time I saw him break down, it... it was awful..."

"I imagine it was," said Alberta sadly, "What happened after this time period? I was under the impression that..."

Her voice grew careful, "He passed on."

Aerith closed her eyes. "He disappeared suddenly for a few years. I didn't learn exactly what had happened to him, not until I died myself and entered the Lifestream, but... I think I felt it when he did pass on. He was _gunned down_ for doing the right thing, gave his life for a friend. He... he was coming back for _me_ when he should have just hid away and lived."

"Its not your fault Aerith," said Alberta, scooting her chair forward to reach over and gently grasp Aerith hand, squeezing softly.

Aerith jerked her hand away, moving her arms to cross over her chest. "...after that... I met someone who reminded me of Zack. I... I'm going to just call him my Bodyguard, I'm not giving away his name."

"What happens here is confidential Aerith," said Alberta sternly, "But if that makes you more comfortable, then alright."

Pff... confidential her ass. This was Shinra after all. If there weren't people listening in, she'd be shocked. It was... hard to ignore that fact and try to go through with this. It was personal after all, she didn't want some Turk or whoever listening in.

"My Bodyguard was a member of a Eco-terrorist organization called AVALANCHE," said Aerith, watching Alberta carefully, but seeing no outward reaction, "Not as crazy or super destructive as the original that would have come about in a year or so. I was... eventually abducted by the Science Department of Shinra, and he came for and rescued me. I left Midgar with them and joined them afterwards. I wasn't really a terrorist, but... I knew it was important to go with them, so I did."

Her eyes grew distant. "I traveled with them for a good long while, all across the world, until I... I stupidly broke away. I ran off on my own, and I died. I died right in front of them, in front of my Bodyguard when he came to try to save me, and it _shattered_ him, shattered them. They fought on, but, it was never the same, especially with Clo... with my Bodyguard."

She took a ragged breath and let it out. "After that, I watched on from the lifestream and helped out as best I could through one crisis after another for _years_ , until... well... they lost. They had fought so long and hard, hardly ever having a lasting peace, but every time **_he_ ** just kept coming back from the dead. It wore them down, and eventually, they fell. They died and... it it it was..."

"Awful," finished Alberta quietly.

"Yeah," said Aerith shakily, "I never felt despair as I had then. It was over, the Planet was going to die, so Minerva sent..."

She caught herself in time, "Sent me visions of this fate to stop it from happening."

"Minerva?" asked Alberta.

"The Goddess of Gaia, the avatar of the Planet," said Aerith.

"Oh," said Alberta, "Gods are _real_?"

"Well... Minerva was, but she wasn't really a goddess in the terms most people think of them," said Aerith.

"Hmmm," hummed Alberta, "Perhaps in our off-time I might ask you about that, I always find religion fascinating to study, to learn there's an actual real component to it, even if its not as we think of it, is interesting."

Not that it mattered much anymore, with Minerva being dead.

"So, then you woke up in the church, as a thirteen year old girl despite having lived to...?" began Alberta.

"Twenty-two," said Aerith, "Though, I lived on in the lifestream for almost a decade."

Alberta nodded. "So... you arrived back here, in your thirteen year old body, despite being roughly thirty-two years old, give or take how one mentally develops in the lifestream."

Aerith scratched her head. "I... guess?"

"It must have been jarring," said Alberta.

"Not really," said Aerith, drawing the woman's interest, "I didn't have time to stumble about. I started acting to change things immediately. There's a few things I've noticed, like having to go through puberty _again_ , ugh."

Albert laughed. "Oh dear, that's going to be an _experience_ go through twice. I can get you a few pads if you need them."

Aerith blushed a little. "I uh... yeah, I'd appreciate that."

"Anyway, that's... pretty much it I guess," said Aerith.

Alberta went silent, writing a few things down slowly, collecting her thoughts. "Hmm. I think we're going to split our time together into sections to be covered. Some will cover your experiences and life, which we will split further into individual sections. The others I think we will split into covering the people who encompassed your life, your homework for the next session will be coming up with nicknames for them if you aren't comfortable with naming them."

Aerith nodded, a little relieved that the woman didn't press on her friends identities. "Alright."

"I suppose first we will cover your early life," said Alberta carefully, watching Aerith tensed, "As I understand it, you were..."

"Kept in Hojo's labs," said Aerith harshly.

"Yes," said Alberta, adjusting her glasses, "Something everyone feared. I've had colleagues be brought into the labs to asses 'Specimens' who were then never seen again. I'm more than happy that the Science Department is getting an overhaul."

Aerith didn't respond.

"Then, we will cover your life up to meeting your Zack," said Alberta, "Followed by the years he went missing. It's important to keep them separate, as years spent never knowing the fate of a loved one is a difficult time. Afterwards we will cover your time with AVALANCHE, and then your time in the Lifestream."

"I'll admit, I'm very curious about what the afterlife is like," said Alberta, "I suppose we'll be saving the best for last."

"From your perspective," said Aerith tersely.

Alberta winced. "Ah, sorry. I meant no offense, I just find the prospect of life-after-death extremely interesting, how the mind adjusts to such a new experience."

"Mine wasn't exactly a natural occurrence," said Aerith slowly, "Most people simply dissipate into the lifestream and are eventually reincarnated in some form or another. Those who stick around are either me, or those having difficulty coming to terms with their deaths or their actions in life... or those who were tainted by Jenova."

Alberta nodded slowly. "It must have been lonely then."

Aerith shrugged. "I had Zack for the most part. I..."

She looked down. "I was selfish, cruel and selfish, I wanted him to stay with me, so he did, he never found peace and full release into the lifestream before it all ended. I never let him..."

"That was his choice," said Alberta, "That he would wait until you were ready to let him go speaks a great deal about his character."

"Or how I'd abuse his selflessness," muttered Aerith, her voice starting to wobble, "One of many who abused him. He suffered _so much_ at the hands of those he thought he could trust. How he stood so strong, how he never fully broke, with so many people dragging him down and hurting him, I'll never know. Forget Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal, or any of them, Zack... my dear precious Zack..."

She took a ragged breath. "Was the greatest SOLDIER who **_ever_ ** lived. He never forgot his honor."

Cloud... never actually made it into SOLDIER, and while Cloud may perhaps have had greater character in the end, they both were strong in ways the other lacked. Especially Zack...

"He sounds like he was a great man," said Alberta thoughtfully, "But... you will have to let him go."

Aerith clenched her fists tightly.

"You can't keep holding onto him," said Alberta softly, "Don't forget about him, but don't forget that the Zack here is his own person, who probably will walk a different path. Holding the memory of your Zack over him... is that really fair? To him or yourself?"

Aerith looked away.

"It's something we will look to help you deal with," said Alberta sadly, "And to properly grieve, because dear, judging by what I see, did you ever really get a chance? Before you met him again in the Lifestream?"

"I...," stammered Aerith, "N...no... maybe? I... I knew deep down he was gone, b...but..."

"It's alright dear, take a deep breath," said Alberta, giving her a moment to do so, before closing the folder on her lap, "I think that's enough for today. I'd like to discuss a schedule. Initially, I would like three sessions per week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and slowly dial it back as we go. Is that acceptable?"

"I...," said Aerith, feeling so ragged, "Does it have to be three every week at the start?"

"If you feel you need more downtime between sessions, we can put them off a little," offered Alberta, "But not forever. Alright?"

"Okay."

"Now, would you prefer these sessions early in the day, or towards the end?" asked Alberta, "I've been asked to make our sessions my priority, so I can switch between first or second shift as necessary."

"Um... e-end of the day," said Aerith, "I'd rather... have the chance to sleep these off if... if they are particularly trying."

"Alright," said Alberta, giving her a soft smile, "I look forward to working with you Aerith."

* * *

Doctor Redman watched the girl shakily (and hurriedly) leave the office before she moved back to her desk.. She felt such pity creep up, and sighed softly, rubbing her eyes. This was going to be the most challenging patient she ever had, hands down. Never before had their been a patient like this in her history, probably not in anyone's. There was so much work to be down, the girl, despite how strong and harsh other people noted her to be in the files she was provided, was **_not_ ** in a good state. Not at all.

She began to write down offhand notes on a separate piece of paper, humming to herself:

 _General overwhelming guilt on many different things? Check._

 _More specifically, Survivors guilt? (Maybe) It was... an odd form of it._

 _Lost a loved one (all of them). Check._

 _Witnessed mass death (an entire world). Check._

 _Traumatic childhood (the worst possible with Hojo). Check._

 _Lost her parents, grew up adopted. Check._

 _PTSD (from her journey, and maybe what she witnessed while dead?). Probably._

 _Anxiety (Was on and off during that session). Check. Not sure how deeply it goes however._

 _Depression (In a way most people would never live through). Check, but attempts to plow through it rather than confront the root cause or allow it to affect her._

 _Stress (an ungodly amount, she saw the end of the world for goodness sake and is trying to prevent it). Check._

 _Which leads to perhaps a_ _ _'Super' Atlas Syndrome (Literal weight of the world on her shoulders). Check. (Gives to much for others and not enough to herself).  
__

 _Isolation: From what notes I was given, she has failed to really make any friends since becoming a SOLDIER (very dangerous for SOLDIERs to be truly alone, especially when combined with Atlas Syndrome). Check_

 _ _New condition: Dissociative Relationships (might need a new name?): Knew people perhaps deeply who would no longer know her. I can't imagine the damage this would do to someone. I'll need to take time to properly think this one over. I unfortunately can't talk to my colleagues about this and swap ideas on how to treat this properly. Perhaps I could study how people dealt with amnesiac friends or family members? Not exactly the same but might give clues.  
__

 _*New* Condition: Death Trauma: Actually died, not just suffered a near death experience, but died and was not resuscitated_. _Check.  
_

 _New Condition: Afterlife Trauma: Lived on after death. Need to learn more to figure out damage and treatment. Check.  
_

 _New Condition (or issue perhaps): Reoccurring Threat: She didn't know who this person was that always came back from the dead (Did she mean Sephiroth? There was no hints that he could revive himself in the notes, scary thought though), but that had to invoke a sense of helplessness, that no matter what was done he'd just keep coming back, that nothing they did mattered. That there would never be safety or an end to the conflict._

 _New Condition: Visions: Suffered 'visions' of her life crammed in her thirteen year old brain by a Goddess. I can't even begin to know how to deal with this. Check._

 _Sidenote: Minerva is a bitch for doing that to a child. Couldn't she have done that to someone else instead of forcing it on the poor girl?_

Alberta leaned back in her chair and sighed heavily. She closed her eyes and rubbed them tiredly before opening them and glancing over her scribbles. She had probably missed something, but this was good enough for now. She needed a bottle of something tonight, and to hug her own daughter to near death. Jessica was going to be forever _grounded._ She _better_ not see those two boys around either. Probably going overboard, but she did **_not_ ** like the thought of her daughter dying so young...

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._

She paused her thoughts and looked at her desk-phone, eyebrows rising at the caller ID, and picked it up. "General Sephiroth."

" _Doctor Redman_ ," came his crisp voice, " _How was your session with my SOLDIER?_ "

Oh boy... she'd have to give him something, but she didn't want to throw away Aerith's chances at SOLDIER. She was not disclosing everything she found the girl struggling with thus far. SOLDIERs with far less than Aerith had been... 'retired'... for being unstable. She couldn't do that to the girl. Would they go that far with the girl though?

"I can't go to indepth, patient confidentiality and all, but... I'm... not exactly sure how to classify what she has," admitted Alberta into the phone, "Its some kind of extreme survivors guilt, except she _did_ die, which makes her feel guilty for how it impacted her friends. It's a conundrum. She is extremely guilt stricken, finding fault with herself on so much she doesn't need to. And that drive of hers... I need more sessions to try and properly classify her condition, but it will be a unique one regardless."

" _I see,_ " came Sephiroth's voice, " _I expected as much._ "

"There is also a... unique and delicate matter concerning her relationships," admitted Alberta, "She knows people, in depth I'm sure, that will have no clue who she is."

" _You believe this is a major issue?_ " asked Sephiroth.

"Well, imagine you've lived your life, and you suddenly found yourself at a point where you had just met Angeal and Genesis, you know them well, and they don't know you at all, how would you feel about that?" asked Alberta.

Sephiroth didn't immediately respond, choosing to work over his answer. " _I am... unsure. I imagine it would be jarring. However, it might make things easier if I knew how to react to them in the beginning._ "

"Wouldn't that seem suspicious to them?" asked Alberta, "Wouldn't that put them on edge to have you suddenly familiar with them, or knowing their ticks and attitudes, when they know nothing of yours? It might drive them off instead of making things easier."

Sephiroth considered it briefly. _"Ah, I see. She's not certain she will ever get back what she had with her friends. That, I can admit, would be... upsetting._ "

"I imagine that is something that weighs heavily on her," said Alberta sadly, "It's another pressure and pain on her when she already bears to many."

Sephiroth gave a non-committal hum into the phone.

"She needs people to ground her," said Alberta quietly, "To held her find stability, for support, and to help her carry the weight on her shoulders. Therapy will only go so far on it's own."

" _I cannot force her to befriend people, or for other SOLDIERs to befriend her_ ," said Sephiroth mildly.

"I know, it's... something to be worked on," said Alberta.

" _Agreed_ ," said Sephiroth, " _You've done well today Doctor Redman. Take the rest of the day off, I'll clear it with your supervisor._ "

Alberta sputtered a little. "B-but...!"

" _Good day_ ," said Sephiroth, hanging up.

Alberta stared at the phone for a moment before sighing and hanging up. "Well, can't look a gift horse in the mouth."

She got up, went for her coat, and left the office, mind buzzing on what she could do for Aerith Gainsborough (Faremis, can't forget just who is her father either). Feeling a bit of the weight Aerith felt, because she knew helping the girl mattered more than she could possibly imagine...

* * *

 _Click._

Sephiroth hummed quietly to himself, hanging up the phone, eyes flickering to the video feed into Doctor Redman's office replaying before him. Patient Confidentiality was all well and good, but this was SOLDIER. It was hardly the first therapy session he had watched over. He was required to know the state of his SOLDIERs after all, especially this one. They never told their therapists, as it could cause... issues... with ones that refused to break their oaths. Never forcing them to lie made the sessions easier for both the staff and the patient.

There was much that matched up with his own thoughts, and a few things he hadn't quite realized, or tried to shy away from. The fact that she had suffered Hojo's 'tending loving care' as he did still made his stomach twist in ways he couldn't identify. He at last had a final age for the girl, technically. Did one stop mentally developing at death? Or did they continue? It was a difference of ten years, twenty-two or thirty-two, it would make a difference. Not to mention that slip up...

She had said 'Clo' when speaking of her 'Bodyguard'. Was this the Cloud she mentioned during the Glass Exercise? He had been a _terrorist_? Well that wouldn't do. He would have words with the Turks to keep an eye out for any 'Cloud' and see if they could draw this mystery man into Shinra instead. He would do the same for any other friends she slipped up and identified. Anyone that would stand up to an insane version of him would be to valuable an asset to let go. It made him a bit annoyed that she was going to hide them all.

His thoughts drifted to Zackery, Aerith's words of him being the 'Greatest' soldier. Considering the fates she had said had befallen the rest of them... as much as his inner warrior rose in uproar, he could grudgingly give it to the boy. They had failed, he had risen, and at the end, died a true SOLDIER rather than fall to madness. However... the boy was a mere unproven third with potential now, the trials the boy had gone through that made him such a SOLDIER most likely wouldn't happen again. He hungered though, hungered to see Zackery reach the pinnacle of his potential now that Aerith had placed him on so high a pedestal. Perhaps he could _help_ Angeal with lessons, possibly convince Genesis to do the same. They would make the best damn SOLDIER they could out of Zackery Fair.

He would allow nothing less.

There was also... the curious revelation that she had given about himself. He **_revived_ ** himself after death? How was that even possible? On one hand, it was... interesting, perhaps comforting in a way, that he could not die, could not dissipate and fade away. On the other hand... he truly could not ever allow himself to lose control of his mental functions, because he at last understand the true threat her future faced. He had assumed that perhaps they could take him down and eliminate the threat once and for all, perhaps if there was enough of him left to allow it, but that he could just keep coming back?

He sighed softly to himself. After Aerith was taken care of, he probably should force himself to attend his own therapy sessions. The thought of being so _weak_ as to need it was extremely off-putting. But he wasn't stupid nor foolish. He would do whatever it took to win this conflict. No matter the cost, especially if the price was only his _pride_. Not that he had that much left in himself after her disclosures.

 _Madman..._

 _Genocidal planet destroying murderer..._

He shook his head and banished the troubling voice, annoyed with himself.

He pondered Doctor Redman's last point. It was going to be difficult for Aerith to fit it, not even accounting for her personality. She had missed her chance over the last few weeks to really try to befriend her comrades. There were already rumors spreading, not that she'd notice as obsessed as she was with training, about just how she got into SOLDIER. There were some fools that allowed the notion she'd slept her way in. To either imply that she would be willing to do so, or that he or one of the other firsts would be so dishonorable to take advantage of a _child_ , it made him want to take the fools by the throat and smash them through the nearest wall. There were other rumors of course, such as being the child of a high ranking Shinra staff (not technically untrue) that got her in (false). They were all like that, and while some rumors or notions faded away with her dedication to training, others (especially the 'to stuck up' one) sprang up in their place.

It reminded him of all the early rumors surrounding himself... and reminded him of another shared ache between them. It made him think, aside from Genesis and Angeal... who did he really have? She had less friends and acquaintances than **_him_ ** at the moment...

He frowned in irritation and agitation. This girl caused to many issues. Life had certainly never been easy before, but it had been simpler.

He shook his head and stood, deciding to go a round in the VR room. He allowed himself one last thought before he locked his office.

 _ **IF**_ she failed to open herself up to her fellow SOLDIERs, he would... _attempt_... to correct that deficit. Though he had misgivings about it. He was more than aware of his own social 'faults', perhaps it was arrogance to think he could do anything. That also didn't consider what his 'alternate' self had done to the woman, which could make such attempts counterproductive.

That was a matter for another day.

For now, he'd see what Doctor Redman could do for the girl...

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes** : Some turkyness and my initial attempt at a therapist. Condemn or acknowledge as you will._

* * *

 ** _Review Responses:_**

 _x3eloved : Teenage!BadassAerith. It wont be too much longer, it will be before Cloud/Tifa end up as cadets. And no, Aerith can't do it all herself, Deepground alone would destroy her, she couldn't take the __Tsviets alone. Jenova VS Aerith near the pinnacle of the story is going to be bad because she tries it alone._

 _Kidness will somewhat come back, she's getting halp, and maybe two cute adorable cadets might help bring it out. *pinches cheeks*_

 _Colegate : Nope, is it FF7 or another fandom?_

 _Azure Shrine : Mmm, no? Aerith is the main character, and I'm not doing a villain story. Perhaps something got lost in translation for you. Cloud and most of the others will make an appearance throughout the story. Though some may only do brief appearances. Though the thought of doing an Evil!Aerith version of this story is an interesting one, I'm not sure anyone's done that or not. Anyway, hopefully I can sit at only two OCs with Crawford/Therapist for the story. We will see.  
_

 _GreatAzureDragon : Hypocrite!Sephiroth? (maybe not at the end of the chapter anyway) :D._

 _UnLike Us : Reliable!Tseng. And thanks, trying to show major changes from a main developed character is always challenging without it seeming like a forced OOCness rather than character development. The Planet/Minerva has/had a vested interest in Aerith destroying it's enemies, they don't/didn't particularly care about motives (as you said) or emotion or consequences from that so long as the Planet lived.  
_

 _Guest : Hmm, well, the Turks aren't going to particularly care if old man shinra bites it. Sephiroth probably wont kill him, but either Rufus or Deepground or Jenova most likely will at some point. No way that fat bastard gets to live to the end of the story. Regardless of that, the Neo Midgar Project was terminated last chapter._


	16. Not-So-Gentle

_**Chapter 16: Not-So-Gentle  
**_

* * *

Aerith wished they had the first 'Therapy Session' at the end of the day, rather than the beginning. She felt like a jittery mess during training and lessons afterwards. Maybe, just _maybe_ , there was _some point_ to all of this, maybe she did need someone to help her sift through her previous existence. She could look into her memories on what had happened during her last life for the sake of others just fine. It's when she went in on her own... or was reminded of it directly (like every time she interacted with Zack), that it struck deeply. If Zack, the trip through the Forgotten Capital, and that 'Initial Session of Therapy' was any indication; if she really sat down and tried to deal with all of this, she wasn't sure she'd be in any state to help anyone anytime soon. If the Calamity struck during that time, Aerith couldn't count on herself to be at her best.

And there was so much; just the act that Doctor Redman had gone through, of planning sessions for each section of her life, for each person... had really drummed in just how much she'd have to deal with. She especially _**NEVER** _ wanted to recall the years of her life before she had lived with her adoptive mother, aside from her birth mother. There were deep and dark things she kept locked down deep, which she never would admit resonated with the rage and hate her time's Sephiroth had for humanity, that Hojo had done to her and her birth mother, or _made them do_...

 _Specimen A is showing an elevated reaction to hormonal injection, I estimate she will be ready within the next few months for the next stage of experimentation. I look forward to having additional Ancient test subjects to test, even if they are diluted by humans._

She viciously shook her head and shoved the memory back into it's deep dark pit, the act enough to draw the curious looks of passing SOLDIERs in the hallway. She ignored the looks and continued on. It would take so long to do; months, perhaps years, of spread out ache filled one hour sessions. In addition, Doctor Redman probably hadn't even considered some of the major shifts between being alive and being dead. She reached out and ran a hand along the wall as she walked back to her shared room. The physical touch of it, after not having any kind of physical sensation for almost a decade... if she hadn't been so intently focused and tensed when she got back... she wasn't sure how she would have reacted. Even now, just having all those sensations back again...

Sight.

Hearing.

Touch.

Taste.

Smell.

She didn't experience that in the Lifestream, only echoes of it. Herself or the Higher Powers (She had only ever met Minerva, but _apparently_ there had been more in the past, before the Calamity came), they could mentally create a location within the Lifestream. She could emulate many things (she had enjoyed sending Cloud and the others to fields of flowers whenever she met them in their dreams), but it wasn't the same. The sight of the flowers, the smell of them, the touch, the sound of leaves rustling in the wind... it was all just memories, echoes of something from her own or the shared life of the Lifestream.

If she allowed herself now to relax and the sensations to linger... it was jarring. If she just forced passed it, kept tense and controlled, she could tolerate and ignore it, _like most things these days..._ she could grudgingly acknowledge she probably had to deal with this at some point, enough people had made their point forcefully known in that regard. She just... just wished it wasn't _now_. She needed to get through dealing with Jenova, with Hojo dead, and the top SOLDIERs securely sane, then she could have her own breakdown if that's what all of this lead to.

Except there was one _tiny_ problem.

Somebody had ordered her into these sessions, and unless she wanted to lose further access to SOLDIER, she had to go through with this. If push came to shove, she could go out on her own and count on Lucrecia slowly cleansing SOLDIER and them fighting if Jenova awoke and came after them. But there would be no cohesion between them and her, no trust, and she'd be _much_ weaker from missing two levels of SOLDIER enhancements, not to mention the training and experience. There was really little choice in this...

She opened the door to her shared room, wanting to just flop into bed...

"...love to be a fly on the wall for that little chat," came Kunsel's voice.

"Yeah... _no_ ," said Zack, voice rather serious, "That's between Angeal and his mom, no one else."

And with that, she crumpled all her own troubles into a ball and tossed them into a closet with the door locking behind it. "What's between Angeal and his mother?"

Zack glanced over, looking a little sheepish. "Ah... well, 'Geal's heading home for a bit of leave. Think he plans on asking his mom about... you know, the whole mess."

Project G, oh boy, there was a confrontation in the making there. It also tickled the back of her mind, memories from the last lifestream, of an empty Banora...

No, that couldn't possibly happen this time, Genesis wasn't a degrading madman, if anything, he'd help keep Angeal calm. "Whose going with him? Genesis?"

"Uh... no one I think," he answered.

Surely she hadn't heard **_that_** right. "No one?"

"It's kind of a private thing," said Zack, shrugging his shoulders.

She _stared_ at him. Oh Zack...

He was so _young_ , he didn't understand yet even if it was only a few years before he would have been _forced_ to. He hadn't seen Genesis's madness (neither had she directly, but she knew of it via Minerva), hadn't seen Angeal lose himself, seen Sephiroth go mad. He had heard what she had told them, but he didn't truly see it, hadn't seen how fragile those he saw as living legends actually were. Angeal going into that confrontation alone was an absolute _disaster_ waiting to happen, and considering one of the visions she could recall Minerva giving her, probably the way they would lose him to the Calamity.

 _It can't be allowed to happen._

"Where is Genesis?" her voice was short, clipped, and commanding in a way it had never been before, and for a second, her vision turned gold, she could see the room and its inhabitants in a way she wasn't sure she could comprehend.

Zack froze perfectly for a moment, not a single twitch in his form, before he spoke quietly, _nervously_ , "Off on a mission last I knew."

"Sephiroth?"

"His office."

"When is Angeal leaving?"

"Helicopter would have left about five minutes ago."

"Call him."

Zack, bless him, didn't question it. Unfortunately, he got an automatic prerecorded do-not-disturb response.

Aerith turned and left before Zack could hang up his phone, pulling out her PHS and calling up a map for the building. Five minutes later she walked past a sputtering secretary, and threw Sephiroth's door open...

* * *

Sephiroth paused the recording he was taking notes from, eyes going up from the computer screen on his desk, to see Aerith barge into his office, looking furious. He could only stare, incredulous. He knew she had started in on that class, had her military lessons taught her nothing? Unless it was Jenova waking up, there was little that would stop him from giving her the dressing down of her very short military life once whatever tirade she was about to go on was over.

"Are you insane?" she demanded, "I thought you were smarter than this, especially with everything I've told you!"

Whatever it was, he doubted it was Jenova at the moment, and slowly, he rose from his desk, irritation playing his face and his eyes narrowing on her own...

Which had a faint golden glow to them.

What in the world?

Not important at the moment, though he was aware of the fact he almost felt compelled to straighten his spine as if he were the one who had disrespected a superior officer and was about to get dressed down and not the other way around. "SOLDIER, you had better have a good reason for barging into my office throwing insults."

"You let Angeal go off to go confront his mother on his own!"

He blinked. _**THAT** _ was what she was on about? "He deserves to have the chance to get answers, to know _why_ she made the choice she did."

She pursed her lips, displeased. "I'm not denying that, but why did you let him go _alone_? With no support? No one to turn to!"

He frowned at her. "Incase you forgot, _Ancient_ , we've already had your little 'revelation' meeting. We are fine."

The only reason he considered getting additional 'help' himself was because he couldn't take _any_ risk of loosing control.

She gave him a look of near pity, the gold in her mako green eyes swirling. "Sephiroth, you still have so much to learn about people, about emotion."

He glared at her, feeling a fire ignite in his chest. "Is that _so_? I'm an unfeeling machine to you? A weapon?"

She narrowed her eyes. " _That_ , is not what I said. You are not unfeeling, what you feel is valid, but what you understand about others is stunted, or did you forget how Hojo _raised_ you?"

Sephiroth's hand was half-way to Masamune before he controlled himself. "Watch yourself SOLDIER, this is your **_only_ ** warning."

She didn't so much as flinch, which sparked a hint of wariness in him. She had steel, he knew that, but this was beyond that, something else was going on here. "You will go after Angeal."

A statement.

An order.

He had half a mind to tell her, what had he heard that one SOLDIER said? 'Go to Hell'?

He was better than that though, he was controlled. So instead, he sat back down, placed his hands in a bridge to rest his chin on, and stared at her. "Why?"

"You allowed Angeal to head off into what will most likely be an emotionally charged situation when he is _not_ even close to his best," said Aerith.

"He has had time to adjust, last I saw he was fine, when was the last time you interacted with him?" he countered, "What would give you even a hint of danger?"

"He's had time to brood, not adjust," She pursed her lips. "But, there is no time to be..."

"Right now SOLDIER, the only thing I am contemplating is how much punishment you are going get for this," he said quietly, dangerously, "This is not how you approach nor address a superior officer."

"And I told you, Sephiroth, SOLDIER does not matter to the Planet, Shinra and it's rules and regulations do not matter to the Planet," she snarled, actually snarled at _**HIM**_ , "I told you the Calamity can take advantage of **_ANY_ ** mental weakness."

"It's not awake, unless you have anything to reveal on that?" he inquired, "And without proximity is there any real danger even **_IF_ ** he _momentarily_ loses his cool?"

She scowled. "Sephiroth, I am going to tell you something about what I witnessed, you will hear it, then you will go, because you can't take back a dead town."

What was she...

"Banora was massacred in my visions by those it had betrayed," she said in warning, the gold in her eyes growing stronger, "No one survived."

Sephiroth stilled for a moment, assessing the possibility and probability, cold logic started on that before he could even begin to dismiss it. The situation couldn't possibly be close to the same to whatever had happened originally...

"If anything like that happens, Angeal will not return here, and he will go off on his own and become vulnerable. _**I WILL NOT**_ tolerate him becoming Jenova's pawn," she stated.

"Why not go yourself?" he countered, though simply for the sake of it, he was already reaching for his PHS; he did not believe Angeal was in danger of that, of murdering his own hometown, it was incredulous. But the same inner voice that demanded he find himself 'help' also warned him that it was unacceptable to even risk something like this _(to risk his friend)_ when the only thing he would lose by going after Angeal would be possibly a few days of _paperwork_ and perhaps a peeved Director (and the irritation of giving in to the situation when the Ancient had barged in like this).

"I am not his friend," she answered simply, "As understanding as I am, and as comforting as I can try to be, I am more than aware that I have caused him, and by extension you and Genesis enough emotional and mental anguish over what I've revealed that you avoid me like the plague unless you have a point to see me."

He blinked at her, and resisted the urge to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. "You are correct that you are not my friend, nor Angeal's, nor Genesis's, and regardless of that, this is the military, not some civilian _groupie_. Why in the world would we go out of our way to see you?" aside from observation and assessment of course, "We have _duties_... no, this isn't important right now. I'll deal with you when I return, and so help me if he doesn't show even an ounce of emotional distress I will have you scrub every single toilet in the Shinra tower clean."

He ignored whatever response she would give and turned to his phone, dialing. "Tseng? I need a helicopter."

" _When_."

"Now."

" _I'll have it ready on the pad in five minutes_."

 _Click._

He could always appreciate efficiency. It's one of the reasons Tseng was fast becoming one of Sephiroth's favored Turks to deal with outside of Veld.

"If I'm wrong, then I'll happily scrub them clean."

He looked up and narrowed his eyes at her. "SOLDIER, you need to learn when to not run your mouth."

She said nothing, but he did note the golden glow had started to fade from her eyes, and with it, a lot of the brute confidence faded out of her posture. He was puzzled, wondering if he had missed previous instances of that glow, but ignored it and moved, grabbing his leather's.

" _I might not be your friend, but I wouldn't have minded being one if any of you but asked, and I've never really had the chance to, in either life_."

His hand stilled for a single moment at the so soft whisper before he forced an arm through his sleeves. He walked passed her without a further word. Perhaps he didn't understand emotion, or at least a civilian's (or maybe just hers). Did she feel _left out_ because none of them had approached her in that way? Regardless of what he had been thinking earlier about ' _perhaps_ ' reaching out, what arrogance did she had to think she was _owed_ it? They owed a debt, he was not ignorant of that, but that was all that was owed. If she wanted something more, she'd have to earn it. Surely she understood that? He could grudgingly admit she had impressed him at times, and had things that resonated with him, but SOLDIER wasn't a group that just gave that out easily. She couldn't possibly be that naive or ignorant about it. Could she? He, Genesis, and Angeal had befriended one another over _years_ in the battlefield or on missions. SOLDIERs did not go up to one another and say 'hi, want to be friends?'.

He briefly amended that to 'SOLDIERs that were not Zackery Fair' and apparently now Aerith Gainsborough.

He brushed it off as unimportant for the moment and made his way for the helicopter pad...

* * *

Sephiroth hadn't been to Banora often. Maybe once or twice during a mission. It was a small, quaint little town in the Mideel Area. Houses were structured in a circular fashion around a small fountain. Greenery surrounded the town, a refreshing sensation to look upon after any time spent in Midgar and the immediate wasteland surrounding it. There were warehouses off in the distance, and people milling about. Though they gave him a wide berth as he strode into town from the helicopter on it's outskirts. He was roughly half an hour behind Angeal, give or take. It's not like he expected the town to be up in smoke, but there was a tint of relief when it wasn't.

He was however a little tense when he approached Angeal's house and could hear, not Angeal's unusually loud voice, "How could you! Why?"

Sephiroth hesitated. Now that he was here, he was a bit unsure on what to do. He paused a bit from the entrance to the house, a little uncertain of how best to approach this...

He really didn't get much time to think as Angeal stalked out of the house, Buster Sword nowhere in sight, muttering darkly to himself. Sephiroth sized him up in a single glance. Stressed, frustrated, tense, agitated, but most of all, the look of pained betrayal on his face.

"Angeal?" he questioned.

The man in question came up short, and he started at Sephiroth in bewilderment. "Sephiroth? What in the world are you doing here?"

"I took a sick day," he said offhandedly, and while it wasn't untrue as he had punched that as an excuse into his timekeeping, it was mostly to buy him time to think.

Angeal blinked. "You don't get sick."

"I had chicken pox I think when I was a small child."

Angeal snorted, but fixed an unusually impatient glare on him.

"I... came to offer... support," said Sephiroth tactically.

Angeal stared at him for a moment before running a hand down his face and turning away, walking off towards the outskirts of town. Now it was Sephiroth's turn to be bewildered, and perhaps a little hurt. He had come here, even if it was at the Ancient's prodding, to offer support to his friend, one should not just turn away from that without so much as an 'I'm fine' lie. At least, he didn't think so. Still, he followed silently as his friend left the town and moved to the fields outside of it in powerful strides, his friend's fists clenched tightly.

"NYAAAARRHHH!"

Sephiroth's eyes went comically wide to see Angeal smash his fist into a boulder, shattering it. The man never lost his cool like this, not once had Sephiroth ever seen it. "Angeal!"

"She did it willingly!" shouted Angeal, bitter and hoarse, "She wasn't forced to participate, she did it willingly!"

Ah, so Angeal had gone right for the heart of the matter, no politeness or working his way towards it. Sephiroth slowly walked over, letting the man pound the boulder into oblivion before placing a hand on Angeal's trembling shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Angeal took a ragged breath. "How could she?"

"She didn't say?"

"No... she just... just hung her head and looked away from me. I... I should have demanded an answer until she gave it but I... I had to get out of there. I couldn't...," Angeal trailed off, a small chocking sound escaping his throat.

Perhaps Sephiroth would dial back the punishment he gave the Ancient, half the building instead of the entire tower would be fair he supposed. Angeal was easily strong enough to come back from this on his own, but if Sephiroth could spare him any pain, he gladly would.

"You will get your answers in due time," said Sephiroth softly, "Take this slow Angeal, like a battlefield, don't rush in and get surrounded by more than you can handle."

Angeal gave a harsh laugh, turning to look at him. "Only you Sephiroth would make that kind of comparison, only you."

Sephiroth gave a confused look, but chose not to comment since some of the tension had gone out of the man's shoulders.

Angeal sat down on one of the remaining pieces of the boulder, sighing and rubbing his face again, staring back into town. "I wonder if Gen's parents were the same. He was adopted, but surely they had to know. We're we all _betrayed_ by those who were supposed to protect, care for, and love us?"

"You've never spoken anything ill of your mother to me," said Sephiroth, "Only of how much she cared. Do you now doubt she does?"

Angeal closed his eyes and sighed. "No."

"I can't pretend to know what Gillian was thinking nor why she accepted," began Sephiroth carefully, "But I do know that we are all human, and humans make mistakes. There is also the possibility that Shinra may have sold her lines about possible benefits the experiment might give you, or given her a deal of some kind, I don't truly know. But I doubt she did this, or would have considered doing it, if she thought it would harm you. Be patient, hear her side of the story, and talk it out."

Angeal nodded, his shoulders sagging a bit, but didn't otherwise respond.

Sephiroth didn't press him further, merely sitting down next to him, bumping shoulders as he did. They sat there in companionable silence as the sun slowly moved towards setting. Angeal took a good thirty minutes to gather himself before rising to his feet and making his way back towards his home. Sephiroth paused, they both did, at the entrance to the house, a certain unmistakable metallic smell assaulting their noses. Something they were both very familiar with. Blood.

They dashed in...

And there on the floor next to the Buster Sword was Angeal's mother, somehow managing to have slit her throat on it. He stared at the scene, dumbstruck with disbelief.

Angeal made a horrific chocking sound. " ** _Mom_**!"

The son rushed for his mother, kneeling down and turning her over, shaking her. "No, no no no! Mom no!"

"Angeal...," it was all he could do to stupidly say the man's name.

His friend's mother had just killed herself... what was he _supposed_ to do?

"Use Life! A Phoenix down! Anything!" cried out Angeal.

The blood on the woman's throat had long since dried. She had probably done it within minutes after Angeal had stalked out. She was long dead past the point where such things could save her. How her body hadn't been claimed and faded away already was a mystery to him at this point.

"I'm sorry, Angeal," he whispered.

"Use them!" Angeal roared, "Please!"

"She's gone Angeal, I'm...," began Sephiroth, walking over to place a hand on his shoulder...

How he suddenly had a bruised face, ears ringing and head throbbing painfully with what felt like a concussion, and was flying through the walls of Angeal's house was momentarily lost on him. The fact that his friend was charging after him, Buster Sword in hand, looking like a wild and wounded animal, was not however...

* * *

Genesis sighed, irritably, leaning against the wall near the Shinra Helicopter pad. He had just gotten back from his mission and hour ago. He was looking forward to a warm shower and an hour reading LOVELESS before calling it a night, only to get a short call from the Turk Tseng about his presence being requested here along with medical. _Apparently_ Angeal was hurt, how badly Genesis didn't know. The Turk's call had been tight and clipped, not the controlled words he usually got from Turks that weren't putting on some theatrical act. It left a wary feeling in Genesis's gut. Angeal was supposed to have been heading off on vacation last he knew. Did he take a last minute mission or what?

His ears picked up the Helicopter well before it arrived. When it landed he motioned the medical staff forward. He couldn't help but tense when they pulled Angeal out of the helicopter, unconscious, shirt half burned off, long bloody gashes on his chest that looked far to much like Masamune's work to be a coincidence and...

Was that a white _**WING** _ out of Angeal's shoulder?!

He watched, incredulous, as they took him away on a stretcher. At that sound of Sephiroth's footsteps his vision turned red. **_SEPHIROTH_ ** had done this to him? He whirled on the man, and was about to release a torrent of his rage that would make the building tremble...

Then it died in his throat.

Sephiroth had a hand wearily on the helicopter for support, blood _generously_ coating his body from the stomach down, what looked like a mostly closed _ **GIANT STAB WOUND**_ in his chest. "Goddess, what the hell happened?"

Sephiroth smiled mirthlessly, voice tired and faint. "I'm not very good at offering condolences."

Genesis stared at him blankly, watching the man slowly walk passed.

He made it about half way across the landing pad before he collapsed.

And it was all Genesis could do but _stare_ in disbelief. Sephiroth did not just collapse! He never collapsed! Or even showed he was tired, it was _beneath_ him. He barely slept as it was!

He heard a soft sigh before Tseng moved to stand next to Genesis. "I was wondering how long he would last. Even for him, extreme blood loss is not something to be shrugged off easily."

Genesis broke his stupor and rushed over, hefting Sephiroth onto his shoulder. "Turk, keep up, you _will_ give me an explanation."

Genesis did not run, but he did walk _swiftly_.

"From what Sephiroth told me, Angeal's mother killed herself, and Angeal... did not react well," said Tseng.

Genesis froze for a moment before forcing himself to resume. "Gillian is _dead_?!"

"Yes."

Merciful goddess...

"Sephiroth forced the fight out of town and tried to talk him down, I believe he held back quite a bit, up until Angeal sprouted a wing and put his sword through Sephiroth's chest," said Tseng mildly, as if it were an everyday report, "I think it was a combination of the wing and Sephiroth not expecting him to fight with lethal intent, even in that state. I'm not sure, Sephiroth seemed oddly offbalanced from the start from what I can tell. Regardless, the fight didn't last long afterwards."

No, it wouldn't have, because that action would have made Angeal a _threat_. And threats were put down, or at thankfully beaten unconscious instead. Still...

"A wing, of course she was serious about that," said Genesis with exasperation, " _Wings of light and dark spread afar_ , Wonder when I'm getting mine."

Tseng didn't comment.

He sighed. "Oh this is going to be a mess."

"Perhaps."

"Not a word is getting out about this Turk."

"Of course. Angeal is still on vacation and Sephiroth is still on sick leave after all."

Genesis snorted. " _Sick leave_?"

Tseng merely hummed in response.

Genesis shook his head. "No one is going to believe that, but I frankly don't give a damn."

"You are going to need to stay with Angeal until Sephiroth recovers incase Angeal is still in an... uncooperative state."

"I'm aware."

And wasn't that just jarring. How in the world could Angeal lose it like that? He had heard the Ancients words about Angeal going suicidal, but attacking a _friend_?! Even in grief...

" _My friend, the fates are cruel_ ," he muttered, " _There are no dreams, no honor remain_."

Oh Angeal...

* * *

 _ **Review Responses**_ :

 _NocturneX : Try being the opportune word. But someone isn't going to be saved, who that someone is, we'll see. When was the Coral incident again? The pillar collapse wont happen, but if lore-wise the Coral Incident is before Aerith turns of age to go on missions... oh wait, actually, that incident only happened because of Avalanche right? So yeah, that probably won't happen either. Will need to think of another reason for Aerith to at least meet Barret once._

 _GreatAzireDragon : Don't be mean to poor Seph! He tries, even if Aerith certainly makes it difficult to want to at times._

 _Mizu Hoseki : Hmmm, when does Cloud sign up again? I might have to fudge the timeline a little bit if it's to soon. I'd like Aerith at least 2nd Class before he shows up as a Cadet._

 _Guest : Cloud failed to make SOLDIER last time, failed the cadet exams I believe. A certain Ancient, or brawler maybe, will have to give him incentive to try harder, or just push him harder, to pass the exams this time._

 _Azure Shine : Those visions were possible futures, not guarantees. Veld wants to keep his daughter close. Zack/Cissnei will most likely briefly be touched on later on, but it wont be a major part of the story except perhaps as a means to make Aerith let go/move on. I plan on having Aerith meet all members of the FF7-AVALANCHE at least once in the story. (I'll give you one guess how she's going to meet Yuffie). Cloud is going to be fine, at most Sephiroth will have interest as a potential rival (not that Cloud can become as powerful as Cannon!Cloud without Sephiroth's cells in him, but he can easily become 1st Class if pushed and guided towards it). Finally, any romance between Seph/Aerith is a LONG ways away._


	17. Mess

**_Chapter 17 - Mess_**

* * *

 _ **Warning** : Zack being Zack kind of chapter. :D_

* * *

Zack gave a small start and blinked awake at the sound of a knock on the room's door. He looked owlishly at the hanging clock, 0400 hours, oh c'mon, he deserved at least another hour of sleep. Glancing around at his roomates, he saw similar looks of why-am-I-awake-early. Zack gave a disgruntled huff and rolled out of bed, taking his blanket with him. He didn't bother to dislodge it, dragging it with a foot to the door and opening.

"Ello...?" he began before going straight, waking up fully at the sight of a very impatient Genesis. "Sir!"

Genesis took an unimpressed look at him. "Shower and change, _now_."

"Yes sir!"

He had never showered so fast in his life. He was back out into the main room, eyes briefly washing over a sleepy Kunsel trying to block out the room's light with a pillow over his head to go back to sleep. Aerith surprisingly seemed to be fully awake and sitting cross legged in the middle of her bed, staring silently at Genesis who was ignoring her, tapping his feet with impatience. Zack walked over and waited.

"You will be coming with me, and you will not ask questions, understood?" asked Genesis, tight lipped.

It took Zack a moment to really understand what he saw. It was in Genesis's eyes, the tiredness, shadows of dismay and grief. Something was wrong. "Yes Sir."

Genesis briefly turned to go before pausing. "Oh, and 3rd Class Gainsborough?"

"Yes sir?"

"Sephiroth wanted me to tell you that starting tomorrow you will be getting up at 0400 hours every day for the next month and helping the janitorial staff clean the SOLDIER floor as punishment for disrespecting a superior officer," he said.

Zack winced and shot Aerith a pitying glance. Owch, sounded like she brought it on herself though.

Rather than look dismayed or chagrined, she merely smiled. "I thought it was supposed to be the entire Shinra Tower."

Zack gaped at her and hissed. "Aerith!"

Genesis snorted. "Sephiroth is right, you **_DO_ ** run your mouth. Now it's two months of janitorial duties. Care to make it a third?"

That time Aerith's jaw snapped shut.

"Thought not, Fair lets go."

Genesis said nothing until they were in an elevator, and even then, he pressed stop and waved a hand at the elevator camera, a small bolt of electricity shorting it out. "You will listen, and you will listen carefully, understood?"

Zack nodded, growing a bit tense.

"Yesterday, Angeal went home on vacation, you know this correct?" said Genesis.

Zack nodded. "Yeah, went to confront his mother."

Genesis looked annoyed. "He told his pup but he lied to me about it being a standard vacation?"

He huffed. "Pah, probably figured we'd bring the town down if we both went together after our respective 'families' at the same time."

Genesis went serious again. "Sephiroth followed him, took a _sick day_ ," Zack snorted with amusement, Sephiroth never took those, even _he_ knew that, "To offer support."

Genesis licked his lips, and the sorrow in his eyes deepened. "Angeal took a break to clear his head after his first round of questioning. When he and Sephiroth returned to the house, his mother had committed suicide."

Zack felt all the air go out of his lungs. " _Suicide_?!"

Genesis nodded. "Yes. With the Buster Sword too as I was told."

Zack leaned against the elevator wall, hyperventilating a little even though it wasn't his mother dead. "Oh man, oh jezz, oh 'Geal. He's probably a mess huh?"

Genesis pursed his lips. "We'll find out when he regains consciousness."

Zack blinked. "Regains...?"

"Angeal... lost it Fair," said Genesis slowly, carefully, "He attacked Sephiroth in his overwhelming grief and anger."

Zack's face paled. "He didn't! No, you wouldn't joke about something like that. He's not gonna get kicked out is he? I mean, his mother just killed herself, that's gotta give him some leeway! Surely Sephiroth understands that!"

"I imagine he will, possibly, when he wakes up again," said Genesis, "Sephiroth took the Buster through his chest. Lost a lot of blood. If it had been any other SOLDIER, even _me_ , they'd be dead. He woke up briefly around midnight, and I got the full story and his standing orders out of him, before he went back to sleep. What he decides will be for later."

Zack _stared_ at him, face paling further. "Geal almost killed Sephiroth? Oh man... he's never going to forgive himself for that."

Genesis rubbed his face tiredly. "I am bringing you into the aftermath of this because Angeal cares about you, has taken you under his _wing._ He will need everyone he can get to ground him. That is your duty, as his apprentice and as a SOLDIER, to help him."

Zack took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "It's way to early for this. Yeah, I'll help, no questions asked. Who else knows?"

"Myself, Sephiroth, Tseng, Director Verdot, Doctor Crescent, and now you," said Genesis, "All the medical staff who tended to him know is that a 'mission' went south, that's it. No one else is to be informed of anything. If word of this reaches the President, we all know what his current orders are for compromised SOLDIERs."

Zack nodded grimly.

"Though I'd like to see him try to order us to put Angeal down," snarled Genesis, "I'd burn the company down first."

Zack snickered. "And I'd get him out on the back of a motorcycle if that's what it came down to."

Genesis snorted. "A motorcycle?"

"Ya, ya know the one in the lobby? I'd take that, smash through the window onto the freeway, and just goooo," said Zack, masking a woosh sound.

Genesis snickered ( _ha! Got one of them besides Angeal to snicker! Score!_ ). "One of us should do that, just for the hell of it at some point. Ride off into the sunset, middle finger raised over our shoulder."

"Hey! Don't be revealing my master plan!" said Zack with a grin.

Genesis slowly shook his shoulder. " _There is no hate, only joy, for you are beloved by the goddess_."

"Or at least Angeal," said Zack with a snicker.

Genesis rolled his eyes and restarted the elevator. "Don't butcher my quotes boy."

Zack wasn't quite sure if he couldn't keep himself from cracking up. "Yes sir."

The light atmosphere lasted right about until the elevator dinged into the Science Department. Then they went solemn and wandered into it's depths. They found Sephiroth and Angeal on beds separated by curtains in the heart of the department. Doctor Crescent, eyes tired in a way that said pulled-an-all-nighter, fluttered quietly around her son, checking his vitals and entering data in a laptop an assistant carried around for her (like he was a moving table). Angeal...

Zack's bulged and he hissed to Genesis. "Is that a _**WING**_?"

Genesis held up a finger to his lips for silence, and walked over, taking a chair next to Angeal and plopping down. Zack wandered over, staring down at the white feathery appendix propped up on a side-table with a pillow as an attempt for comfort. He looked at the pale face, stretched with tension and stress, even while asleep. He looked... well, like his mother had just died. That about fit it.

"Oh man," was all Zack could whisper, taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed.

He hesitated briefly before reaching out and grasping one of Angeal's hands, squeezing it tightly. "Here for you buddy."

"Buddy?" snorted Genesis, "Have a bit more class Zackery, honored teacher, comrade, or..."

"Genesis, some of us are trying to rest," came Sephiroth's tired voice.

Genesis grinned 'evilly' and sauntered over to Sephiroth's bed, plopping down on a chair and speaking in low, teasing tones. Zack slowly shook his head and closed his eyes, bowing his head and waiting patiently. He had never been one to sit still before, but... for this, for Angeal... he didn't move a muscle, and wouldn't, not until he was awake.

"Honestly Sephiroth, how in the world did he get you with that slab of a sword?"

Zack's eyes flickered to the curtain separating the beds, enhanced hearing picking up on their low tones.

"I started the fight with a handicap," Zack could practically hear Sephiroth scowling, "I wasn't expecting him to just punch me. Landed it squarely against my head and knocked me through the wall. Fighting with a concussion was... an interesting experience. I saw double of Angeal for the most of it."

"Ah, that would make trying to block rather difficult," said Genesis, just a tad smug, "So even the great and mighty Sephiroth can be brought low."

"It's not the first time."

"Pff, really? I've never seen you come close to losing a fight before this," scoffed Genesis.

"Not since I officially joined SOLDIER perhaps, but I lost many battles when I was a child in Hojo's care," said Sephiroth with derision, "He pitted me against every kind of monster under Gaia's skies, and then plenty he created himself."

There was a very uncomfortable silence then. Zack really wished he didn't have enhanced hearing at that point, waaaay to personal and deep for him to be hearing at the moment.

"He has that effect on people, speaking of such things casually," came a tired whisper.

Zack's head swerved to see Angeal's eyes tiredly on him. "Geal!"

"Not so loud Zack," muttered Angeal.

"Sorry."

Zack briefly caught Genesis peeking around the curtain before he was apparently dragged back by the arm of a Sephiroth shaped shadow. His lips twitched with amusement before refocusing. "You okay 'Geal?"

"I feel like Sephiroth kicked the shit out of me."

"Language 'Geal, you owe the swear jar a gil," said Zack, teasing, with a large smile growing across his face.

Angeal wasn't co-co crazy, so there was no reason not to after all.

Angeal gave him an unimpressed look. "That only applies to those underage."

"That's so not fair!" said Zack, wagging a finger at Angeal, "You're making that up!"

Angeal didn't even smile, just tiredly closed his eyes and sighed. Okay, Angeal might not be crazy, but he was not okay if that didn't get a hint of a grin.

Oh boy, how in the world was he supposed to do something about this, how did he even start? He weighed his usual cheer VS trying to be serious...

Ah who was he kidding? "So, heard you sucker punched Seph pretty good."

Angeal opened his eyes and gave him an incredulous look.

Zack just grinned, not even slightly abashed.

Angeal sighed, looked away, his eyes landing on his wing and then forcing himself to look back at Zack instead, just a tad bit of panic in his eyes at the sight of the appendix.

"What's it like having a wing?" asked Zack, "Can you feel it? Can you really fly with it? It's gotta give aerial a whole new meaning in a fight. It's got to be cool as hell."

"I... what? Cool?" asked Angeal, baffled.

"C'mon man, it's a fricken wing!" said Zack excitedly, "How long have you been holdin out on me? You coulda took me flying. Always wanted to touch a cloud."

Angeal had that pinched look on his face he got when Zack really went hyperactive, it was a bit early for that in Zack's opinion, but he'd let it slide. "I did not hold out on anyone. I thought..."

A tremor ran through Angeal's body. "I... thought it was a delusion or something... that..."

He took a shaky breath. "One moment I was with my mother's... body... the next, everything was red. I was so angry, it was all consuming, everywhere, a unending buzz in my ears and mind. I don't..."

"Easy 'Geal, easy," said Zack, scooting his chair closer and leaning to rest a hand on Angeal's non-wing shoulder, "Take it slow man. I was given you an out to be normal, we can get to the heavy stuff when we get to it."

There was a sharp laugh. "And you think pestering me about a _wing_ is normal?"

"Well it's normal for me," said Zack defensively.

Angeal put a hand over his face and gave a shaky half-laugh/half-sob into it. "What am I going to do with you Zack?"

"Take me flying when you're better and out of here?" he suggested.

"I'm resisting the urge to turn and rip it out of me," admitted Angeal, "I don't... I don't like the feel of it. It's like an uncomfortable muscle stretching out of me in a way non of the other's do."

"Psst 'Geal," said Zack, leaning closer to whisper, "That's not the only muscle that stretches out and away from a guy."

Genesis barked with laughter behind the curtain, and Angeal merely sighed, sinking his head into his pillow. "Zack, you are forever going to be as mature as a twelve year old."

"Thanks."

"It wasn't a compliment."

"I'm choosing to take it as one."

"Genesis, Sephiroth, _help_ ," said Angeal.

"I cannot, as I am bedridden," said Sephiroth, just a touch of amusement in his voice, "And Genesis is keeping me company."

Zack wasn't the only one that heard Genesis snicker.

Angeal however had gone pale the moment 'bedridden' slipped by Sephiroth's lips, head turned frantically towards the curtain, adam's apple bobbing like crazy as he swallowed. "Sephiroth, I..."

Sephiroth reached out and yanked the curtain away, turning his head to look at Angeal. "You were not yourself, it is fine."

"You're _bedridden_ ," stressed Angeal.

"As are you," said Sephiroth, just a tad pointedly, "I gave as well as I received."

Angeal looked away, voice growing quiet, "I'm sorry..."

Sephiroth sighed. "It is nothing I will not recover from. It isn't the worst I've been injured, nor nearly the closest to death I have come."

Zack gave him an incredulous look. "You've had worse then being stabbed by the buster?"

"I took a King Behemoth's horn through my chest while fighting when I was... eleven I believe, as one of Hojo's tests for seeing my readiness for SOLDIER," said Sephiroth mater of factually, as if what he said wasn't a crime-against-humanity to put a fucking kid against a monster like that, any monster really, "Considering the horn was bigger than the buster, and I was much smaller then, the damage was far more severe."

Zack couldn't keep any kind of happy-like attitude on his face. "I know you all have first dibs, but, can I at least punch Hojo, like really _really_ hard before you kill him?"

Sephiroth hummed to himself for a moment. "I'll consider it. I am first, the Ancient is second, Genesis and Angeal may share third, anyone else can have the... leftovers I believe it would be called, afterwards, if there are any left. I may allow you to go first in the later lot."

Zack blinked a few times. "Aerith? Why would she have a shot at him _second_?"

Sephiroth stared at him unblinking. "That, is not for me to disclose."

No, but Zack wasn't stupid. If Sephiroth would let her have second stab, then Hojo had really messed with her bad then. Question was, experimented at/before birth kind of bad, labs kind of bad, or both kind of bad? His eyes went distant for a moment, searching through his memory for anything that...

Nope, what was he doing?

He had Angeal to help right now.

If Aerith was Sephiroth-like-coping by treating it like it was an everyday occurrence and was nothing important, then he'd work her over the way he slowly planned on doing Sephiroth: By just being himself. He was great like that. If she was pretending it never ever happened kind of coping, that might be more difficult and explosive. But that was for later, he had his hands full as is with Mr. Mopey at the moment...

* * *

Aerith finished her meal off, if one could call what Shinra fed it's employees a meal that is, and sat alone at her table, forehead pinched in thought. She hadn't heard anything yet from Zack or the others and it was noon. Something had obviously happened, especially since she was stuck with cleaning SOLDIER toilets instead of the entire tower ( _she wasn't sure if Sephiroth had honestly been joking on that or not, probably not all things considered_ ). But, considering the building wasn't burning down, whatever had happened was probably manageable.

Hopefully.

Then, as if right on cue, Zack walked into the cafeteria, and then did something abnormal. "Hey! Could I get everyone's attention please!"

Which of course made every soldier turn towards him as he held up a large card. Aerith had to squint to realize it was a bunch of cards tapped together. "I'd like you all to sign the card."

"Why in the world do you want us to sign a card?" asked the skeptical SOLDIER.

Zack hesitated, glancing around, "I'll probably get in trouble with Angeal for this, but... his mom just died, he was there when she passed away."

Aerith closed her eyes briefly at that. Did Angeal kill her and this was a cover up? Had there been an accident of some kind? She didn't know, she merely opened her eyes and watched. She was slightly astonished, as the demeanor of the entire SOLDIER cafeteria changed instantly from skeptical and offput to just... well...

"Shit."

"No fucking way."

"Is he okay?"

"No way he's okay dude, giant with a heart like his?"

"Gimi that damn card, I'll write an essay."

"I'm next!"

"No me!"

"Can you tell how how sorry we are for him?"

"We ought to get him something more than a fricken card."

"Hey hey hey don't rip it, everyone will get a turn."

Without fail, every single SOLDIER lined up to sign that card and put in a little note for Angeal. SOLDIERs that weren't present were called to either come and sign it, or asked if they wanted something written for them. The only ones that didn't were those either in Wutai, or that didn't pick up their phones for one reason or another. Aerith was... more than a little touched and amazed to see this collective action. Angeal was _treasured_ by SOLDIER. How the entire SOLDIER roster hadn't just upped and left with him in the original way of things, Aerith didn't know.

Aerith remained at the tail end, waiting until everyone else had a turn. She studied the small space left on the card and wondered what to put. There was nothing that could really be said for such a loss, her own birth mother was still a ache in her chest even all these years later. She simply offered what she felt, and wrote ' _I'm sorry_ '. She was sorry she couldn't have saved his mother. To be frank, she had barely remembered the event as it was from the Lifestream's memories. If she had known in advance, had time to prod and search through the garbled mess, she might have been able to offer something.

But she hadn't known, and that was unfortunately that.

"How's he doing?" she whispered quietly, walking next to Zack as he closed the card and left the cafeteria.

"Eh...," said Zack, "He's being kind of a downer at the moment."

"Zack!" she said, slapping his shoulder.

Zack flashed a not-really-apologetic grin before going serious. "He hurt Seph pretty bad, he's convinced he should try to leave SOLDIER-"

Bad vibes started rolling down her spine at this. That was how everything had begun before with Genesis...

"-convinced he's a monster, with that wing of his," continued Zack, irritated, "I tried to show him I didn't care about it, I'd love to spar against someone flying, I think it would be cool."

Oh, he grew his wing. That... probably had sprouted out of the stress or trauma of his mother passing. "What he'd say to that?"

Zack rolled his eyes, "The same crap I've been arguing with him in a circle for the last few hours. Says he's not safe to be around, that he's a monster, a freak, that would hurt everyone around him. That no one should care about a monster."

He flashed a sly grin and held up the card. "Thought I'd prove him wrong."

Aerith gave him a sweet smile. "That's so nice of you Zack."

"Well, someone's got to look out for him since Genesis and Sephiroth are _terrible_ at it," said Zack, shaking his head, "Genesis keeps quoting LOVELESS at Angeal like its the answer to every problem, and Sephiroth trying to be all-logical-but-making-it-worse by saying it's not the worst thing that's happened to him and making the room way more heavy then it needs to be."

"To who? Sephiroth or Angeal?"

"Seph, did you know Hojo pitted him against a King Behemoth when he was eleven?" said Zack, just a _touch_ of outrage in his eyes.

Aerith blinked a few times, slightly stunned and more than a little horrified. "No!"

They reached the elevator, and Zack threw his arms up into the air. "Yeah, he used that as an example of how what Angeal's did to him with the Buster wasn't so bad. Gave a few examples that I _really_ wish I hadn't heard. I kinda want to just hug Seph to death, don't wanna tear the wound open though if it hasn't fully healed yet."

Aerith grew a little uneasy. "What... happened exactly?"

Zack opened his mouth, and then firmly shut it with a snap before shaking his head. "Eh... I shouldn't. Sorry Aerith, I've already said to much as it is."

She gave a brief, tight nod. He gave her an apologetic smile before walking into the elevator. "See ya later! And don't forget, you've got smelly toilet duty in the morning."

Aerith huffed and hit the close button, shutting him in the elevator and turning away. "Honestly, maybe if boys tried actually cleaning once in awhile they might not think it's the worst thing ever. Or maybe he just doesn't put on gloves or something, that's eww. Shouldn't clean a bathroom without them."

She shook her head and walked back towards her room, sitting on her bed while she waited for time to pass between lunch and her next lesson. She pursed her lips and leaned back against the wall, thumping her head softly. She wasn't going to go barrelling up there and demanding an answer, but... she did have another way to figure out what happened.

 _Planet?_

 **CHILD.**

She focused her thoughts on Angeal's mother. She didn't know what the woman looked like, but she could focus the thought of Angeal, and through that ask the question: _Gillian Hewely? How did she die._

There was silence for a few minutes. Searching through the Lifestream for one person would be quite the task, especially for the Planet without the finesse of it's Avatar behind it. Time ticked away, and she was about to give up and just go before the Planet answered.

 **SHAME. GRIEF. SORROW. OVERBURDENED. CLAIMED OWN LIFE.**

Aerith sighed softly and sent her thanks to the Planet. So Angeal's Mother had killed herself, while her son was there. How cruel and selfish could a mother be to do that? To leave Angeal all alone without answers, for him to find her corpse and no longer have the comfort of his mother in his life. She couldn't imagine it. But... how had that turned into Angeal and Sephiroth fighting? The pain of loss could make people do things, terrible things, it was true, but...

She shook her head. Zack was right, it wasn't any of her business in so much that it was being dealt with. She'd trust Zack to handle Angeal, and if he couldn't, well, she'd see where they all went from there. But Zack had a way with people, so she allowed herself to relax and simply head out for her lessons. She still had a few months to go before she hit fifteen and could start on missions (she had actually went and looked to figure out her actual age, she was fourteen, not thirteen thankfully). Soon enough, she'd be out there, proving herself to SOLDIER, and beginning to make a difference...

* * *

"Hey 'Geal!" said Zack cheerfully, walking in and seeing Mr. Mopey looking up at the ceiling, ignoring everyone else in the room. Angeal didn't reply to him, so still as depressed as he was earlier then. He was a work in progress.

Genesis was sitting on the edge of Sephiroth's bed reading LOVELESS while Sephiroth was laying down with his laptop on his chest, Zack raised en eyebrow "Seriously Sephiroth? Aren't you supposed to relax, not do work?"

Sephiroth didn't even look up. "I'd rather not have it stack up. Some of us take responsibilities seriously Zackery."

Zack rolled his eyes and moved to sit next to Angeal's bed. "Got you something I think you'll like."

Angeal sighed and looked down from the ceiling. "Zack, I'd like to just be alone for awhile."

"And I'll leave you alone, soon as you take your card," said Zack, holding it out.

Angeal scoffed. "You got me a card? Zack, really?"

Zack grinned. "Not just me, open it up."

Angeal took it out of his hands. "If it'll get me some peace and quiet-did you tape a bunch of cards together?"

"Yep!" exclaimed Zack, "The best get-well card is a big get-well card."

Genesis snorted in amusement. "I don't know what you see in him Angeal, I really don't."

"I think the effort should be seen as touching," mused Sephiroth, eyes still glued to his screen as he typed away.

"C'mon 'Geal, open it up," pleaded Zack.

"Fine," muttered Angeal, opening it and then just staring at it silently, eyes flickering through it, his voice going hoarse, "Z... zack..."

Zack reached forward and squeezed Angeal's shaking shoulders. "They all care about you Angeal, don't doubt that for a sec."

With that, he stood and walked away, giving Angeal his promised alone time. He did take a quick peek back just before he left though, watching Angeal read the card, his hands shaking. He'd give Angeal a few days, both to recover physically, and to get his head straight. If he didn't get his act together, well, Zack was going to have to drag him kicking and screaming down to the SOLDIER floor and getting everyone else to help with it.

Because there was no way in hell he was letting Angeal leave SOLDIER and struggle through it alone...

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes**_ : _Zack Fair, on duty!_

 _As a note, we're going to be leaving Zack to help Angeal, and move onto Aerith. The next several chapters (or maybe one mega chapter, IDK) will be her therapy sessions over the next few months/year. Each line break will be a time-skip to the next session. As a warning, the chapters, at least the first part of them that covers her time in the labs, will be very dark. Hojo is a psycopath, needless to say. We've seen what he's done in cannon, and I've unfortunately read enough fanfiction to see what people have him become creative with. While we have little confirmed about Aerith's time in the labs between age 0-7, I'll be filling in the blanks._

 _Take that as your warning for the faint of heart, and know that I have no issues with hurting my characters to force them to grow._

 _ **Edit:** Sorry, we've got one more chapter before we start on Aerith, I just realized I was about to pass over an important timeslot. Thanks to Mizu Hoseki for the reminder._

 _Because next chapter, we get to meet Shelke._

 _:D_

* * *

 _ **Review Responses** :_

 _MisaxMisa : Mmm, IDK if it counts as a Sephiroth Redemption since this Sephiroth never actually went evil. I personally only count it as redemption if it's after-the-fact, either after Nibelhiem or after Meteorfall. There's many fics however that center around Zack or Cloud keeping Sephiroth sane however, on that I will agree with you. Glad you enjoy what's been written thus far. I'm not sure if I will call the next few chapter(s) 'Handling', but we will see._

 _V01dSw0rd : Mmm, ish. Wasn't really thinking about Aeons (that's for another fanfic I'm writing), but I did read this one fanfiction (Haunted House I think it was), where Summons were considered entities that walked around in the olden days. There was also To Be Human which Chaos refers to other higher powers. I like absorbing and alluding to other fanfics in what little subtle teasers._

 _Azure Shine : Mmm, probably not intensely lemony. There will be intimate moments, but I'm not writing smut. There's already plenty of that out there._

 _Patrick the Observer : I won't say Jenova was near per say, but egging Angeal into violence? Definitely._

 _Mizu Hoseki : Nah, there wasn't exactly any grinding in, and Aerith got a 2nd month of janitorial duty for running her mouth as it is. :D. I thought Gillian killed herself in cannon, I never saw Angeal as having lost it enough to murder his own family, he got Zack to kill him before he reached that point. _

_November 20th, 1999 was the date she came back in time to. Nothing major happened according to the FF wiki during the rest of 1999. Next year in December is when Cloud makes his promise to Tifa. Sometime between then and June of 2001, Cloud fails the exam. We are currently a few months after November, so early 2000. ACTUALLY, thank you for reminding me about timelines, as I'm reading the wiki-timeline-page I just realized ima have to do a chapter before we start on Aerith. Because Shelke was taken by Deepground during this time. Anyway, we have roughly a year, I'd say, before Cloud/Tifa enters the Cadet Program, give or take a few months. Aerith is only a year older than him, so I'll need to have her turn fifteen soon and start missions to have a chance to reach 2nd class, might edit in a few lines about that, tee hee. I suppose it wouldn't be a tragedy if she was still 3rd at that point.  
_


	18. A Mother's Touch

_**Chapter 18: A Mother's Touch**_

* * *

Everything burned inside.

And everything was blurry outside.

Shelke Rui was curled up in a ball, barely garbed in ripped up rags. She stared at her nine-year old face in the smooth reflection of the hard mettle she tried to sleep on. She couldn't help but angrily swat at that weak redheaded face. And her eyes... where had the brown gone? It was all blue-glowy... it didn't matter, nothing mattered, and everything hurt. She had been on her way to Midgar, she had been taken from Sh... shal... sh... her _sister_ , told she was gonna become a SOLDIER, then someone blew everyone up and she was taken away. They had stabbed her with a needle, then she had woken up in this cage... she didn't even know how long ago it had been.

Then they had dragged her out by her hair, kicking and screaming, as they brought her down a hall into another room, strapped her down on a table...

She curled up tighter into a ball, sobbing. They had cut her open, poking and prodding. It had hurt so much. She had passed out in pain, woken up, passed out again, over and over again, barely able to scream. They put something into her head, near the spine, she could feel the metal pressure. They had told her it was a chip, that if she didn't behave, they'd blow her up. That was only the beginning, they kept cutting her open, testing her for something, trying to understand 'synaptic net-dive'. She didn't even know what that was, only that she could do it, and it brought her pain.

This last session, they had pumped something into her, blue glowing liquid with black spots in it down big needles into her arms and legs and chest. IT HAD BURNED! It still burned, her arms and legs and chest were still bloody from her scratching at them, trying to get the burning out, but that only made it hurt worse. She wished her big sis was here, she wished sh... shal...

She gave a frustrated scream. Why couldn't she remember? She had a sister, she knew she did! Why couldn't she remember? Things were slowly turning spotty for her, of times before being in this dark room and cage. It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair...

She hated this.

She hated them.

She hated how pained and empty they made her feel.

She hated how that emptiness was slowly getting worse.

She hate hate hate hate **_HATED_ ** them!

" _And you have every reason to my child_ ," came a soothing voice, " _Hold onto that hatred, and it will guide you._ "

Shelke gave a startled yelp and sat up, scrambling to one side of the cage and peering out into the darkened room, trying to see who was there. She squinted, but no shadowy shape sprang out at her. "W-whose t-there?"

No one responded, and Shelke honestly couldn't tell where it had came from. It felt like everywhere. She waited a few more minutes, but when nothing happened and no one else spoke, she laid down on the metal surface again, curling up. She thought about what the voice had said, to hold onto hate, that she had every reason to. For the longest time, she could remember being happy, being with her big sis, smiling all the time as they played. She hadn't had a reason to smile in what felt like a long time. The creepy men had taken away every reason to, hurt her so much...

She hated them

And she focused on that hate...

* * *

Shelke was led out into a room, forcibly stripped down, and thrown into a shower of glowing blue water. But it burned, everything it touched burned. She hit the doors, the walls, screaming in pain as it washed over her, until all she could do was curl up on the ground and sob...

" _Shh, it will be alright my child_ ," came a soothing voice, " _So long as I am with you, everything will be okay._ "

She looked up through through blurry eyes, blue liquid burning them and making it so hard to see. She thought she saw a blue woman with glowing red eyes kneeling in front of her, hand reaching out. It couldn't possibly be real, but when the woman ruffled through Shelke's hair, touch so gentle and loving, easing the pain she felt, Shelke let out a sob and reached for the woman. The woman smiled and drew her close, holding her tightly, and in the arms of the blue woman, all the hurt went away...

The woman cared so much, and took away the pain...

So when the bad people came to take her way, they looked down at her with confusion at the happy smile on her face. They kicked her, causing her to lose focus and make the blue woman disappear. Shelke snarled and lashed out angrily, but they pinned and beat her down before dragging her out of the room. She looked back frantically, seeing the blue woman again, reaching out for her, but the bad people took Shelke away from her, no matter how much she screamed and fought and reached back for her...

So she hated them all the more, for taking her away from the woman's love...

* * *

Shelke was brought to a new person, a woman in white armor and leathers, with a crown on her head, an eyepatch over one eye, and a sword in her hands. "I am Argento. The Restrictors have instructed me to teach you how to fight."

" _She will teach you the skills you need to kill those you hate_ , _the Restrictors_ ," whispered the blue women's voice in her head, " _She hates them too, a sister in your suffering._ "

A sister...

Shelke smiled at the white woman, her new sister. "Okay."

The woman, Argento, looked momentarily taken aback by her attitude, a hint of a frown on her face, before she led her into a wide room, with racks of weapons on the wall. She gave her two short swords that she called EM-Sabers. The lessons were long and hard and more than a little painful, but at the end, when she was dragged away by the bad men, Shelke saw the blue woman again, watching her proudly over the shoulder of Argento, so Shelke smiled a wide bloody smile.

And Argento looked at her, disturbed...

* * *

Eventually, they permanently let her out of her cage, showing her this 'Deepground'. It was an awful place of decaying machines. People ambled about, and those without helmets or masks had faces so filled of depression and fear it twisted Shelke's stomach. Fights broke out with ease, and no one stopped the stronger from beating down the weaker. In fact, people laughed at it, laughed at someone else suffering instead of them. Shelke was led about by a cloaked man, a Restrictor, as he showed her the rotten kingdom they lived in. She saw people killed before her eyes for absolutely no reason, she wanted to stop it...

" _Stay your hand_ ," warned the blue woman, " _You are not strong enough to stop the suffering, not yet my daughter._ "

D...daughter? But... mom had died years ago... hadn't she?

"Pay attention when I speak to you, brat!" spat out the Restrictor, slamming a fist into the back of her head and knocking her to the ground, he kicked her, hard, across the hallway they were walking down, "Get up."

Shelke struggled to, raising her head to glare hatefully at the man.

"Hah, that one's got spirit," came a savage purr.

The Restrictor turned away to speak to someone, "No one asked you Rosso, go cull the ranks or something, I'm busy."

A red teenager walked into view, sauntering over to the Restrictor. Dressed in a red cloak coming up to her neck on her back, her stomach bear, silvery clothes covering her legs and chest. The young woman had red hair and eyes, eyes so devoid of life, filled with pain and agony and anger and hate and madness. Shelke briefly felt the urge to flinch away as the woman started towards her. "But I want to play with the new recruit."

The Restrictor sighed. "She's not to be killed."

Rosso pouted but kept on walking.

" _Do not fear my child_ ," whispered the blue wom... whispered Mother, "Y _our sister hurts, and lashes out. She doesn't mean what she is about to do. The hated ones drove her to this, shattered one of my children to the point where I can not even whisper to her through her suffering._ "

Rosso knelt down and grabbed Shelke's hair, wrenching her up, face close to face, "So, what do we have here, hmm? What pitiful dredge have they dragged down here from the surface?"

She rose to her feet and threw Shelke to the ground and kicked her, drawing her blade and driving it clean through one of Shelke's arms, pinning her to the floor. With Mother's touch however, Shelke didn't even flinch, didn't react to the blood spilling out of her arm. Rosso tilted her head, curious, and knelt down next to her again. "Come now, won't you even scream for me? I love making those from the surface _bleed_."

From the surface... she said it twice... almost as if...

Shelke studied her for a moment. "They've never let you out of here, have they?"

Rosso froze for a moment, before rage played across her face. She grabbed the back of Shelke's head and dragged her closer. "Watch yourself, lest I show you why I am _Crimson_."

Shelke leaned forward as much as she could, planting a soft kiss on Rossos's cheeks, making the teenager freeze, startled, before Shelke whispered, "It's okay sister, me and mom will make it all better. We'll kill the bad men, and we'll take you to see the sky."

Rosso let go and pulled away, standing up yanking her sword free. She took a few steps back, staring down at Shelke, red eyes meeting Shelke's own. There was something in Rosso's eyes, was it hope?

Or was it fear?

She didn't know, but Rosso turned and walked away, legs steadily picking up speed until she broke into a run and disappeared from view.

The Restrictor slowly approached. "What did you say to Crimson to get her to react like that?"

Shelke merely smiled at him. She was going to kill him one day.

The Restrictor kicked her head, and Shelke blacked out.

* * *

Mother began to steadily speak more and more to Shelke as time passed.

She spoke of her journey, seeking out those from countless worlds to become her children, to take home within her. Of how she had found this world, and shown it's people her love, only to be cruelly rejected and attacked. She spoke of waking up, and discovering that she was imprisoned, that people used her to make children that she could not touch nor guide nor love trapped in a tank of the burning blue liquid. She spoke of her struggles, of steadily trying to reach out to her children while pretending to be asleep so her jailers did not act, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year.

Sometimes they could hear her.

Most of the time they could not.

Mother spoke of Shelke's brothers and sisters. Of how there were two separate families, above and below the surface. She had tried to focus on the surface family, as they would be in a better position to help those below. Then Mother spoke with such sorrow, of how her brothers on the surface were being taken away, that a wicked woman was turning them on their family. Mother showed her an image of the woman, teenager really at this point, a flash of brown hair, glowing blue eyes resting upon a soft face. There was something... odd about her eyes, so older than the rest of her face...

Shelke hated her.

Hated her for taking her brothers out of Mother's reach, preventing them from helping those down below.

Mother told her about her most powerful brothers, of Sephiroth, of Angeal, of Genesis, their strengths, their weakness, how they acted. She lamented with such sorrow it brought tears to Shelke's eyes, of how they would have to kill their family because of the hated woman. So Shelke cried for them, cried with a deep ache for the family she'd never get to know.

Then Mother spoke with wonder. Of finding a child so much like Mother herself. Mother knew hatred, so deeply, so passionately, and had felt Shelke's hate of those who hurt her. With the surface family lost, Mother reached out for her child, determined to help and guide and love her. They had touched, and thus, Shelke had brought her such hope, a chance to save her children below the surface. But it would be a long time coming to be able to break free. Especially since Shelke was alone, that her brothers and sisters did not know Mother yet.

But Mother could help her make them know her.

If Shelke would allow Mother deep into her mind.

If Shelke would accept Mother into her heart.

Her body.

Her soul.

Mother could make her stronger, faster, smarter. She could change Shelke, make her able to give pieces of herself to her brothers and sisters with but a touch, to make them resonate with Mother, to give them _the gift_. The gift would spread through their bodies, breathing new life into what had been taken from Mother to make them. She would be able to speak to them, guide them, and they would know their family.

But Mother promised that Shelke would still know her best, as her first child to hear her will, her most beloved daughter.

What was Shelke to do before such care and love but accept?

So Mother nestled into Shelke mind, her body, her soul, and promised to make Shelke the best she could be, and that one day...

That one fateful day...

When they finally came together and became one...

She'd make Shelke the most gifted, most beloved, and most powerful child that Mother had ever born...

And they'd make everyone who had ever wronged Mother pay...

* * *

"...and as such, SND can also be used to not only delve into the Worldwide Network, but into other their target's minds," instructed the Restrictor.

" _Another reason you are so like me, my beloved daughter_ ," whispered Mother, " _You can project your mind, and with my guidance, your will, onto others. This 'Synaptic Net Dive' they speak of is but the first step into a world so much larger, that you and I alone are able to touch. You will be able to bend minds to your will, to destroy them if need be._ "

" _Can I heal them instead?_ " asked Shelke.

" _Heal_?"

" _Rosso._ "

" _Oh my sweet caring child_ ," said Mother, a phantom touch ruffling Shelke's hair, " _How you care for your siblings. Perhaps you could mend Rosso, make her able to hear me. But not yet, you need practice, and we cannot do it when the Restrictors are watching. But when the moment arrives... yes... with my guidance, we can help Rosso rejoin the family, for we will need her power and skill and..._ "

 _ **SLAP**_

Shelke cringed briefly as the Restrictor spat into her face, "How many times do I have to tell you, Shelke? Pay attention!"

There were snickers from some of the other Deepground personnel present, "How they think she'll be a good Tsviet is beyond me, she's always off in her own brain damaged head."

There was an audible growl from Mother in Shelke's ears. " _One day soon, they will suffer for their transgression's my child._ "

Shelke merely smiled up at the Restrictor, fingers slipping into her pocket, for the explosive chip that had once been in the back of her head, that Mother had managed to push out of her carefully, leaving skin and cells around it to fool its sensors to think it was still buried in her flesh. One day, all to soon, she'd bury her sabers into the black hearts of the Restrictors.

One day soon...

* * *

Shelke the Translucent.

Only half there, caught up in her own make-believe world.

Crazier than Rosso, often caught talking to herself and whispering to her 'mother'.

A baby Tsviet that had been handed her tittle and rank just because of her SND, not truly worthy.

A clinger, always trying to touch and hold people.

Soft and weak.

Somehow still smiling and laughing despite the bleakness of this place.

Like a surface dweller, not a true member of Deepground.

Yet...

The only member of Deepground that unsettled Argento...

The one with a creepy smile that promised death...

Only half there, suffering punishment, but not feeling its effects...

The one that the Restrictors treated harsher than the rest, unknowing fear guiding their actions...

The one whose silent defiance drew others to her...

The only one able to sooth Rosso...

The only one able to calm Nerro in his chained wailing fits...

The only one that Weiss refused to harm after their first and only spar, no matter the Restrictor's will...

The one whose touch made others as Translucent as she was...

The one who made others family...

The one whose Mother whispered quietly to them...

Whose Mother freed them, placing their flesh covered explosive chips in their pockets...

Whose Mother instructed them to wait for the right moment, for Mother's will to spread...

For Deepground to slowly free itself...

For the Tsviets to age and grow stronger...

Shelke was the only one who stared into the eyes of the Restrictors as they beat her, appearing so oddly cheerful, yet filled with such malice and hate...

The only one that when one looked into her eyes, they found two sets staring back out at them, eyes flickering between mako blue, and green catlike slits...

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes** :_

 _Translucent : (of a substance) allowing light, but not detailed images, to pass through; semitransparent._

 _Transmitting and diffusing light so that objects beyond cannot be seen clearly._

 _Jenova needed a host to act through, but rather than go for the obvious super powerful Weiss, I chose Shelke. Little Shelke that so many would underestimate and not take seriously, not until it was to late. Whose young body is so easy to mold and change. Who fits Jenova's plans perfectly. There will be more Shelke chapters later on, this is but the first to set the ground for her/Jenova. I considered her to be a more tragic choice, so bound to Jenova, and I do love tragedy._

 _Aerith is going to be absolutely distraught when they eventually meet. :evilsmile:_

* * *

 _ **Review Responses** :_

 _Azure Shine : Banora would eventually be massacred in the future, but this is before than, and with Aerith's actions, not going to be destroyed. I'm a bit confused, not use what? The Goddess Materia? That was from Minerva healing Genesis, but Minerva is kinda dead, so the Goddess Materia would do nothing. Hojo's location isn't going to be revealed for a long time, and Hollander is already dead, Genesis killed him. Angeal is most likely going to keep the wing hidden._

 _V01dSw0rd : Perhaps it would have been easier 'shrug'. And yes, Aerith was overwhelmed by visions from Minerva, and what she had been thinking about was buried underneath them. Hmm... huge materia... hadn't thought of using them. I'll think on it._

 _Camixsss : Mmm, the letting go will be kind of painful for her, and not really up to her at all. Not going to spoil what forces it. :D._

 _NocturneX : Oops. As for Jessie, I could always make her a SOLDIER, hell, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie could be a trio in SOLDIER since there won't be any AVALANCHE to join. IDK, we'll see._

 _Guest/Patrick the Observer : Thanks._


	19. Of the Past: Labs

_**Chapter 19 - Of the Past: Labs**_

* * *

 _ **Preemptive Notes:**_

 _I might be smudging the timeline a bit, IDK. I literally just noticed in my wiki readings that Gast and Ilfana left the year Sephiroth was born, which made an earlier chapter where Sephiroth knew them false. But I also read that Sephiroth considers Gast a greater scientist than Hojo and respected him greatly 'until Gast left Shinra', which was either when Sephiroth was like a year old like the timeline page says (and unable to remember), or later on. Which... is kind of conflicting to read. One of the Wiki entries might be off, IDK._

 _Not to mention the wiki timeline says Gast meets Ilfana during his travels (as does her own page), rather than Gast's wiki page saying he helped free a captive Ifalna from Shinra (Crisis Core Complete Guide cited...?)._

 _Not to mention the timeline also says Vincent was shot in 1984 (4 years after Sephiroth was born), while Lucrecia's page says Vincent was shot before Sephiroth was even born..._

 _IDK, the whole things a mess to try and sort, so I'm putting my foot down and saying: This is already an AU. In this, I'm assuming Gast/Ilfana left shortly before Vincent got shot a few years after Sephiroth was born because Vincent got fed up with Lucrecia being treated like shit and not being allowed to see Sephiroth. Considering that Lucrecia needed time to fix Vincent/Hojo experiment on him... it would have made Sephiroth... five or six, before heading for Midgar._

 _* headache*_

* * *

 _ **M-Rated WARNING** : Hojo being Hojo._

 _But seriously, we know Aerith was in Hojo's labs for... what, the 1st seven years of her life? We have little knowledge of that time for Aerith, so I'm going to take creative liberty to absolute **destroy** the poor young woman. There are so many things Hojo could have done during that time, and seven years is a very long time. Though realistically, Aerith being an infant would limit it. So I imagine from age... 3-7 is where Hojo would really be an absolute psychopathic crazy bastard. Ifalna would do what she could to shield her child, but realistically, she'd have little power._

 _So yeah... Ifalna and Aerith are in for hell. I have a hard time understand how Aerith could develop into the kind of woman she was while having suffered Hojo for her early years. Elmyra I imagine would have had a huge saving influence, not to mention whatever Ifalna imparted, and Aerith's own will on the matter._

 _Warnings include: Human Experimentation. Human Child Experimentation. Abuse of a child. Unethical Science. Torture. Emotional Trauma/Damage. Emotional Manipulation/Brainwashing. Captivity. Ect... In general, Hojo being an utter bastard. This is a dark chapter. As another reminder about Aerith, she is currently in a young, teenage body, not a matured one yet. That impacts emotional responses as well. Not that the excuse is needed, all things considered, Hojo would make fully grown tough men cry.  
_

 _You have been warned._

* * *

"No."

It was a word Aerith had been dreading for weeks now, and her knees felt weak. "No?"

Doctor Redman gave Aerith a stern look. "I've been allowing you to push this off for to long Miss Gainsborough, its been almost a month of quick meetings or vague answers. I know, I understand, that this will be incredibly painful to speak of, but it has to be done. I wanted you to feel ready to open up about it to me, but I see that's not going to happen. No more dodging it. Either you accept this therapy and speak, or you don't and I pass it up the chain and you can kiss your career in SOLDIER goodbye."

Aerith let a dry swallow pass down her throat, looking away. "You... you don't know what you're asking of me."

"Probably not," admitted Doctor Redman, "But I do know that you've kept it bottled up for almost a decade, and that's not healthy for you. It leaves lasting impact and can alter your behavior."

Longer actually, but Redman believed it was a vision Aerith had experienced and not time travel.

"I was fine," muttered Aerith.

She had been _fine_ , the flower girl of the slums, life had been simple and _fine_. Her life in the labs hadn't _existed_ anymore.

Redman hummed. "Aerith."

"Yes...?"

"I want to help you, I truly do, but I can't if you won't let me. So either sit down in the chair, or leave and forfeit SOLDIER."

Aerith struggled with it. She considers, so badly, if she can manage things without SOLDIER. After that first agonizing meeting, which had just been an overview, she weighed that gamble again and again the last few weeks, every time their scheduled meetings had come up and Doctor Redman had let her weasel out of it or not pressed deeply. She didn't want this... she didn't want this at all...

Yet she didn't know if she could do it alone, and as much as every fiber of her being screamed to run away from this, she was not so selfish as to risk dooming the Planet over her own personal fear and pain.

With great trepidation, Aerith slowly, dragging her feet, moved over to the comfy chair in Redman's office and plunked down, sinking into it.

Doctor Redman had a self-satisfied smile on her face that Aerith wanted to hit and make go away. "I'm glad you saw reason Miss Gainsborough."

The woman moved to sit across from Aerith, a pad of notepaper in her hands, pen held between two fingers. "We will, as we agreed in our initial session, start with your early life."

Aerith swallows.

"We will start simple, what is your first memory?" asks Redman, "The very first think you can recollect."

Aerith's eyes go distant for a moment; she feels herself strapped down in a white room, her gut in agony, puke covering the little white gown she was in, whimpering in pain. She sees Hojo peering down at her...

"Aerith!" came Redman's voice, snapping her out of it, "Don't lose yourself in the memory, simply say it."

"My... my earliest memory...," she begins shakily before laughing bitterly, "It's not even of my birth mother. It's me... me puking my guts out from Hojo testing how resistant I was to poison."

There is an air of incredulous about the therapist, "As a how many year old child?"

"I don't know... three?" says Aerith.

"Why?"

Something darkens across Aerith's face. "Comparison."

 _I'm disappointed in you Specimen A, Specimen S showed not even a quarter of the effects of the poison that you did at his age. So very disappointing..._

"To whom?"

Aerith looked away for a moment before muttering, "Sephiroth."

Redman waits.

"He wanted to see how resistant I was to ailments compared to Sephiroth at my age," said Aerith, swallowing again, bitterness flowing from her lips, "He wanted to see how _superior_ Sephiroth was compared to a Cetra. He tested me on everything. Sleep, poison, fury, sadness, petrification, confusion, silence... just... everything."

"When you were a toddler," said Redman with a shake of her head, "That's madness."

"That's Hojo," countered Aerith, not as a defense of the actions, just as an explanation, "And he did this periodically to test for growth in the area, to both me and my birth mother, and each time..."

She swallowed again, "Each time when I failed to meet his expectations..."

 _I'm so disappointed in you Specimen A, couldn't you even manage a few more seconds?_

"...he made it seem to be my f... fault," she stammered, "That I... I was a... disappointment to him."

"Negative reinforcement," murmured Doctor Redman, "Taken to new heights and used against a child. Do you understand what he was trying to do?"

 _If you can manage to do even half as well as Specimen S did in this test, I may reward you. If not, I will be so very disappointed._

"Yeah," said Aerith, voice dry, "I do now. I'm not stupid."

 _You don't wish to disappoint me, do you Specimen A?_

"I didn't say you were," said Redman softly, "But as a young child..."

 _I'm so disappointed Specimen A, such poor results must be punished, I suppose since you are to young to weather them, Specimen I will have to bear it instead._

Aerith shivered briefly. "It's worse than that. Whenever... I-I... failed him..."

"You did not fail him," spat out Redman, "That's the conditioning he tried to pour down your throat."

Aerith glared at her, chills turning into hot rage. "I know! Why do you think I don't want to talk about this? I thought I had put it all behind me, that I shoved it down and locked it away! It let me live my life without having me chained down by **_him_** and what he did to me and my birth mother!"

Doctor Redman gave her a patient look. "Aerith..."

A disappointed look.

 _I'm so disappointed Specimen A..._

Aerith shook her head violently and rose from the chair. "I can't. I can't. I'm sorry, I just...

 _So disappointed..._

"I can't," she said, shaking and rushing for the door.

"Aerith!"

* * *

"I'm glad you decided to rejoin me, Aerith," said Doctor Redman.

"You didn't really give me a choice," muttered Aerith, sinking into the comfy chair, "What, with texting and calling me day after day threatening to have me kicked out of SOLDIER."

"I don't want it to be this way," said the therapist with a sigh, "But you give me little choice."

"You know, I remember Hojo saying something similar to me once," Aerith said snidely.

Doctor Redman glared at her. "I'd prefer you don't make **_that_ ** comparison, if you would, because unlike that poor excuse of a scientist..."

"Human being," corrected Aerith.

"...poor excuse of a human being," agreed Doctor Redman, "I care, and I want to help."

Aerith went silent and just gave the woman a chilly look.

Which the Doctor promptly ignored. "Now, last time you were here, you were saying something about what he does when you don't meet his insane expectations?"

Aerith shifted uncomfortably.

"Aerith?"

"He... punished my birth mother, early on when I couldn't handle it," Aerith said quietly.

"Of course he did," muttered the therapist, jotting down a note, "So, to summarize before we go in depth: he experimented on you, used negative reinforcement whenever you didn't meet his expectations, and punished your mother, making it seem like your fault."

Aerith pursed her lips.

"But it wasn't all bad?" asked the therapist, "Was it?"

Aerith gave her an incredulous look.

"You had your mother, didn't you?" asked Redman, "There has to be something positive in that time you spent with her."

Aerith laughed, a bitter, brittle, hollow thing. "Not really. I was... any time I had with my birth mother was either given to me as a reward for my behavior or test results, as part of an experimentation, when my mother did something to please him, or w-when he needed her to h-heal me. All other times I was alone. Either resting and recovering, waiting for the next session, or studying."

"Studying?" questioned Redman.

"I'm not stupid," said Aerith slowly, "He would never have let me be. Said it would have been a waste for the future of the Cetra. Not to long ago I might have looked like slum trash to most people here, but I can probably explain the scientific method better than most college graduates. He wanted me..."

"To be like he was," said Redman softly when Aerith couldn't bring herself to finish, a tint of horror to her voice, "All the negative reinforcement and conditioning..."

"I'm not stupid," muttered Aerith again, "I figured it out when I was six. It was... part of a project. He wanted me to analyze people and figure out why they did what they did. Gave me some historical figures, then had me do it on those in the lab. The scientists, the other test subjects. He didn't order me to do it to him or my birth mother, but I did anyway, because I thought it would please him to take the initiative."

A broken smile cross her face. "Nothing was quite the same after that. All that time he spent on me, gone the moment I realized my birth mother did everything she did for me, and him... the opposite. Things got worse and worse rapidly. There was a reason my birth mother made a break for it with me when she did."

Doctor Redman said nothing for a long moment, looking like she was trying to swallow something foul. "I see."

No, she really didn't.

"I... have a question though, why do you call her your 'birth mother' instead of just mother?" asked Redman.

Aerith closed her eyes. "Because I hardly knew her. I knew Hojo better than I knew her. I knew Elmyra, my mom, my _mother_ , better than my birth mother in the first year we were together alone. I know... I know that she loved me, deeply, that in the end she gave her life for me, but she always had to watch what she said or how she acted. We were always watched, always listened to. She didn't want to reveal anything to Hojo or Shinra that she wasn't forced to. It's why I knew so very little about my people and my powers. Any time she was overly affectionate, Hojo would have us separated and punished. I..."

"I never had the chance to know her," whispered Aerith, opening her eyes and staring down at her clenched hands, "It wasn't fair..."

"It's... not alright Aerith, but it will be okay," said Redman softly, "Now, I think that was good progress for today."

"It hasn't been ten minutes," muttered Aerith.

"Yes, but I'm trying not to push you to the point where you rush out and I have to wait a week to get you back in here," said the therapist mildly.

Aerith crossed her arms defensively.

"I do have an assignment for you however," said Redman, "For the next time we meet, I want you to think of all you do know about your birth mother."

"So... we're talking about her next time then?" said Aerith.

That... didn't sound so bad for the next session...

"No."

Aerith frowned. "Then why..."

"At the end of each session that we finish about your early life, I want you to tell me a pleasant memory of your birth mother," said Doctor Redman, "It will help to calm you down after a difficult and stressful recollection, and perhaps, offer closure about her."

"She died a long time ago," said Aerith quietly, "I came to terms with it."

"So you say Aerith, so you say."

* * *

"Tell me about the average day in Hojo's labs."

Well, that was certainly one way to start a session.

Aerith sighed. "Wake up, be ready when a Turk came to the door, shower, brush my teeth, brush my hair, study until Hojo called for me. Either he'd experiment on me, test me on something, or make me watch him experiment on someone or something else as he coached me through the process. Depending on how long it took or what he did, I'd either be put into another experiment or test, end up back in my room studying, held overnight for supervision, or sent to my birth mother."

"Did he ever have you experiment on someone?"

Aerith flinched. "N... not exactly."

"Explain."

Aerith looked away. "He... had me pretend to be him once, ordering his subordinates how to go through a dissection."

"How did that make you feel?'"

Aerith's eyes went towards the door, hair on the back of her neck rising, squirming in her seat.

"It's alright Aerith."

"It's _**NOT**_!" shouted Aerith in a panic, "It's **_NOT_ ** okay! You... you're a therapist! How do you **_THINK_ ** it made me feel?"

"Powerful? In control?" guessed Doctor Redman, "Happy that it was someone else under the knife and not you for once?"

Aerith wilted under the woman's gaze, choking a little. "I..."

"Aerith, you were in an awful situation, feeling that way is, I imagine, a perfectly normal response," said the therapist, "You had no freedom there, and you were constantly hurt and degraded. It's..."

Aerith was shaking her head, shivering. "It's not okay, don't... d-don't you dare say it was! I... I walked..."

She started sobbing. "I walked his people through dissecting a human being! Who was still alive and screaming for the first part of it! I'm... I'm a monster just as bad as he is!"

Aerith curled in on herself, shattered, crying uncontrollably. Redman was there in an instant, arms wrapped around Aerith, whispering soothingly into her ear. Aerith wanted to throw her across the room, reach out and snap her neck, rip it from her head, destroy the one who brought this pain and agony back to her. She didn't have the strength to, her entire body felt like jello.

"I... I didn't want to do it," she whispered brokenly, "But he was watching... had been talking about the opportunity for months... he promised a big reward for me... he would have... would have been so disappointing and angry if I failed him... would have hurt me and mom so badly... msorry-I'msorrysorrysorrysorrysorry..."

She kept whispering it over and over again, even after Redman had broken away. She could faintly hear the dialing of a phone, but couldn't care, couldn't care, couldn't focus on anything but the pain and how sorry she was...

Then strong arms were propping her up, sitting her up and giving her a tight hug. "Hey, Aerith, speak to me."

She saw spiky hair through her teary eyes, a lovable concerned face. "Z-aack?"

He brought up her arm to wipe at her eyes with her clothes, "Hey 'Rith," he said, worry etched so deeply in his face, "Breath in and out, alright? In and out."

Zack was here...

Her lovably, loyal, concerned Zack...

No...

No!

He couldn't be here!

She had never told him about this!

Even when they were together in the lifestream!

He couldn't know!

He'd hate her!

"No... no nonononono," wailed Aerith, "I didn't mean to Zack! I'm sorry, sorrysorrysorrysorry..."

"Hey hey hey! Relax Aerith," he said, his voice in a panic, "Just... chill, chill okay?"

She shook her head, shaking uncontrollably, voice turning into a continuous mumbled apology.

"Ummm okay, Angeal was one thing, this is another, and way outta my league," said Zack, sounding honestly scared, "Doc, she's absolutely freaking, and aside from sitting on her incase she goes violent, I don't know what you expect me to do. I'm not trained to deal with panic attacks or whatever the hell this is."

"I... had hoped her connection to you might help," admitted Redford.

Zack scoffed, sounding more agitated and angry that Aerith could ever remember, and _stressed_ , "Doc, I'm not **_him_**. I ain't the Zack she saw in her freaky voodoo stuff. I already gotta measure up against what I heard he would have done, what the trio wants me to be without listening to what I want to be, and now you want me to deal with **_this?!_** I care, I really do, but I don't _know_ her. I can't help with this, I'll only make it worse, I already _have_ made it worse, go get someone who does know her for fucks sake! She's got family, right?"

Didn't... know her?

Aerith shakily looked at Zack, a Zack so young... not... not her Zack... not her Zack, she bowed her head down, placing her hands behind it and taking ragged, panicked breaths.

"I... yes, yes, she's got a mother...," stammered Doctor Redford.

"Zack," came a woman's voice, "Don't yell at the poor woman, she's in over her head just as much as you are."

Aerith turned her head, sighting a blue-suit in the door way, woman, not one of the ones who escorted her through the labs... to young... that was... Cissnei? Why was she here? The girl noticed her eyes and gave a hesitant, placative, and _fearful_ smile. She was afraid of Aerith... they were always afraid, or wary, everyday in the labs... always afraid... or studying and curious, even worse...

"I um... I'll call Veld and get a chopper down to Elmyra, just... just watch her, okay?" said Cissnei, stepping out of the room.

Watch her.

Always watching.

Always learning.

Always understanding.

Never alone.

There were always cameras.

She always had to watch how she behaved, or she'd be punished.

Always...

Always...

Always...

"Aerith? Aerith sweetie?"

Aerith's eyes refocused, finding her mother kneeling in front of her, worry etched into her face. Aerith sobbed and lurched forward, clutching her tightly.

"Ah-Aerith! Aerith! Tight, to tight!" exclaimed Elmyra painfully.

Aerith flinched away and curled in on herself. "Sorry, I'msorrysorrysorrysorry..."

"Merciful gods, what did you do to her?" exclaimed Elmyra, "I haven't seen her like this since she was eight!"

"She's had panic attacks like this before?" asked Redman.

"Panic attacks? You think this is _just_ a panic attack?" came Elmyra at a shrill tone, "This is her entire life crashing down on her again. I'll not ask a third time: What. Did. You. Do?"

"I... I'm a therapist, I was trying to help her come to terms with her early life in...," began Doctor Redman before pausing, "Umm, Zack, you should step out for a moment. This is patient confidential."

"Yeah, sure," said Zack uneasily, "Right, I'll be down the hall."

And he was gone.

Zack's presence was away.

Going away again...

Five years...

Not a sound or a letter or a call...

Just gone...

Abandoned...

Or dead...?

"By early life," hissed Elmyra, "Were you talking about what that bastard scientist did to her?"

"Yes, I take it you are aware?"

Elmyra gave a slightly hysterical laugh. "Am I aware? The girl hardly had a clue that half the things done to her were inhumane and wrong! She expected it to continue! She used to tell me about everything! Everything that happened to her as if it were commonplace. Do you know, after the first few days, she asked me when the men with needles were coming with the injections? Or when she was going to have to go back to the 'experimentation room'? If she was going to be punished for accidentally breaking a dish? If I was going to be the one to do the next procedure? She told me she could walk me through the basics if I was new, even started to before I had to hush her up or empty my stomach. Do you know how long it took me to get her to stop referring to herself as Specimen A? YES, I'M FUCKING AWARE!"

Redman went deathly silent, and Aerith curled tighter at the tone.

"Gods sake woman," said Elmyra, breathless, "I did my best to help her move on and forget for a **_reason_**! I gave her a chance to develop into a sweet young woman, in defiance of the hell she went through, and you go and dig it back up. My daughter already has enough on her plate without _this_."

"It's... not healthy to keep something like this bottled up," said Redman.

"Sometimes, it's not about being healthy, but being able to even function and survive," said Elmyra thinly, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a daughter to tend to. Afterwards, she's coming back home with me for awhile, you can tell the Turks and the SOLDIERs if they want her back before I get her situated then I will shove my broom up their asses."

Soft hands were on Aerith's face. "Aerith honey? I want you to listen. Okay? Are you listening?"

"Yes," Aerith mumbled weakly.

"Who do we hate?"

Who do we hate... those words were so familiar...

"Hojo," she whispered.

"Why do we hate him?"

"He... he ruined my life," whispered Aerith.

"And what do we do to get back at him?"

Aerith struggled to think. This question... it rang in the back of her mind, an old memory. "We... I..."

"We take back our life and live it in defiance of everything he did," soothed Elmyra, "We are happy, we are carefree, we let nothing bother us, we walk free of any chains he'd use to bring you down, we are nothing like he was. We show him you could still feel, that you still can care. Okay?"

Happy...

Happy tending flowers...

Helping the less fortunate...

Never taking life for granted...

Never letting anything really get her down...

Never crumpling, never giving in to hardships...

Taking life in stride...

Always defiant.

Always her.

She was not an object, she had her own thoughts, feelings, and emotions...

Not Specimen A.

She was Aerith.

Aerith Gainsborough.

Aerith shuddered and blinked a few times, the room snapping back into place for her. "Mom...?"

"Hey sweetie," said Elmyra, smiling with relief, "I was thinking about baking your favorite pie tonight, you want to help?"

"I...," she felt all kinds of dizzy and confused, there was a tint of hurt to everything she felt at the moment, "Yes...?"

"Come on then," said Elmyra, gently tugging her to her feet, "We'll make that pie, then you can sleep with me tonight, and we'll freshen up your room tomorrow. You're going to be spending some time back home, okay?"

"Okay...," she whispered back, "Okay..."

Elmyra led her out of the room, and Aerith didn't look back...

* * *

 _*Knock knock knock*_

Aerith glanced up briefly, adjusting the position of the flower vase on the family table. It was almost dinner time, did mom have company coming?

Elmyra walked over to the door and opened it. "Hello...? Oh. You."

Aerith watched, slightly amused, to see Elmyra squaring off with Doctor Redman in the doorway. "Ah... hello. It's... been a month, I was wondering how Aerith was doing..."

"I'm doing A-okay," called over Aerith cheerfully.

Redman looked over Elmyra's shoulders, a little surprised. "Well, that's good to hear."

"You've seen, now you can go," said Elmyra firmly.

"Mom, no need to be rude," chided Aerith before threatening in mock seriousness, "I'll make you swallow a whole spoon of peanut butter!"

Elmyra turned and huffed, struggling to withhold a smile, "Why I never! After all I do for you?"

Aerith giggled a bit. "I know, I know, I'm sooo inconsiderate."

Elmyra smiled fondly at her before sighing. "Alright, you can stay for dinner Doctor Redman, just..."

"I'll try not to bungle things again," said Redman.

Aerith smiled, humming under her breath as helped to set the table. "I don't take offense, I know you were trying to help."

She giggled a little. "Though, you really didn't know what you were getting into."

She laughed. "Neither did Cloud when he stumbled into my life. Honestly, I remember when he tried to sneak out, and found me there waiting. He had noooo idea what I was made of," she put her hands on her hips, "None. At. All."

She snickered. " _Especially_ when I got him to crossdress."

"Oh, you haven't told me that story yet," said Elmyra, "It sounds like a good one."

Aerith couldn't help the fit of giggles that escaped her mouth. "He cross-dressed for a good cause! And he looked _good_ in that dress! I coulda gobbled him up!"

Elmyra just laughed and went back to stirring a pot on the stove, Redman on the other hand gave Aerith a blank look.

"What?" asked Aerith innocently, a mischievous smile plastered across her face, "Oh, right, I suppose I'm getting ahead of the therapy schedule."

"I... you're acting nothing like...," Redman began before trailing off and shaking her head, looking at Elmyra in amazement, "Okay, the first thing that should have been done after she got her visions should have been to stick her back in here with you."

Elmyra smiled a bit, finishing her stirring and walking over to stand behind Aerith, a hand on her shoulder, and Aerith reflexively leaned lightly back into her, something she recalled doing so many times. "I know my daughter better than you can possibly imagine. I had been planning on taking it slow, when I saw how she was struggling, I wanted to gently unwind her. But it appeared best to go back to the beginning, to reminder her why we live as we do, as she once did."

Aerith smiled a little. "It's... been so long since I was a little girl mom. So very long... I forgot..."

Elmyra kissed her cheek. "I know sweetie, I know."

Aerith turned her attention to Redman, and sighed, her cheer slowly bleeding away. "But I know I can't stay here forever."

"Aerith...," said Elmyra with a sigh, "Cant you just enjoy yourself for another few months at least?"

"I need to go back," said Aerith, her voice growing tired, "I need to get this out of the way so I can actually start being a SOLDIER."

"Perhaps... a compromise?" suggested Redman, "That she stay here, in a comfortable and familiar environment, with you present as an anchor, while we go through the more difficult parts of her life?"

"That... sounds reasonable," admitted Elmyra.

"Only for the rest of the labs," said Aerith with a sigh.

"Aerith...," began Elmyra in a warning tone.

Aerith shook her head. "The labs are the only truly horrific part, at least, until I die, and then until the end of the world."

Elmyra gave her a skeptical look.

Aerith didn't acknowledge it, merely turning to Redman. "Do... you want to do anything today?"

Redman hesitated for a moment. "Mmm, I'll settle for a finish to our last meeting."

Aerith tensed.

"...do you recall what I said about how our sessions should end?" said Redman, "With a memory of your birth mother?"

Aerith visibly deflated, relieved. "Ah, yeah. Hmmm..."

She smiled a little. "I got a memory."

"I remember when Ifalna taught me how to listen to the planet," said Aerith softly, "It took me a long time, of just sitting and slowly tuning out everything else, to hear it all the way up in the Shinra Tower. The first time I heard it... it... it felt like coming home for the first time in my life..."

* * *

"Before we begin again, do you mind if I record these sessions we have here? To take back and listen to for my notes and session planning?" asked Redman.

Aerith shrugged, doodling aimlessly on a piece of scrap paper. "Sure, why not."

"Alright then. I've thought of a... schedule for this, something you can set at your own pace," said Redman.

"Like what?" asked Aerith, tilting her head to study the therapist.

"Each session, I'd like you to pick something, an experiment, a test, anything that Hojo did to you or your birth mother," said Redman, carefully watching Aerith's reaction, "You get to set the topic for each session and decide if you are ready or not to discuss it."

"Eventually I'll be forced to talk about the worst parts," said Aerith softly.

"The point of therapy is to acknowledge and accept what happened," said Redman, "Though, you and you're mother makes a solid effort of finding a way around that through sheer stubbornness and force of will."

Aerith smiled a little. "We do."

Elmyra chuckled a little from her perch, sitting on the kitchen counter, watching silently otherwise.

"So, one by one, we'll hit everything, more in a session if you feel that you are up for it," said Redman, "Does that sound acceptable?"

Aerith nodded and looked down at her scribbles. "Yeah, I guess."

"So... with that in mind, start small since I sprung this on you all the sud...

"He cut me open."

Redman went deathly silent, paling.

Elmyra sighed. "Aerith..."

"Like a bandied mom," said Aerith matter-of-factually, "Might as well get something heavy out of the way while I'm in some kind of a good mood."

Aerith didn't look up from her doodling. "It was one of the few times he had me numbed. Didn't do that for Ifalna though. I think she had pissed him off or something. She screamed enough to scare me half to death ten times over. He wanted to do a side by side comparison of our internal organs. See how much differed between a human, a half-human half Cetra, and a full blooded Cetra. He poked and prodded, took pictures and samples, even tilted my head up to get a look at what my insides looked like."

"Gods," whispered Doctor Redman, "You don't do or show that kind of thing to a child!"

"I think... maybe some positioning were a little off," mused Aerith, "Or some things were shaped a little differently? Nothing absolutely major. Humans are descended from the Ancients after all. They just lost their ability to hear the planet, to touch magic without materia."

"I... how did... that affect you?" asked Redman, hesitant.

Aerith shrugged, her grip on her pencil tightening and slightly crunching it. "I was numbed, I found looking in at myself a little fascinating, and I was more than used to blood at that point. I was more concerned for my birth mother than me, she was the one screaming her head off. Though... being opened up like that... peeled back... was ick."

"I... I imagine it was," said Redman shakily.

Aerith looked up. Her eyes were cold. "He stitched us back up after, rewarded me with a lolipop for being 'such a compliant specimen'. It was the first one I ever had, I thought it the best thing I ever tasted at the time."

"He gave me that reward a few times," Her smile was mirthless. "I never had a lolipop again after I left the labs. Can't even look at them or people sucking on them without feeling like throwing up."

"I... I see." Redman swallowed. "I suppose... that was a... good session, progress t-towards getting things aired and acknowledged. Do you have a memory of your birth mother to give?"

Aerith smiled with false sweetness. "I thought ahead, it even goes ahead with this session. I remember that Hojo let me and my birth mother spend that night together. Ifalna didn't let the incisions heal naturally, would have left a nasty red line down our bodies. She ran a finger down the line, healing away the irritation, the starting of pain, the cut itself..."

She started at her collarbone and started tracing down slowly through her clothes, humming softly before speaking, "After she was done, she clutched me for hours, shook and cried and apologized to me for having to go through that, as if I had been the one screaming in agony and not her. She always gave such thought to me before herself."

She let all falseness fall away and asked coldly, "Is that satisfactory, Doctor Redman?"

"I... yes," said the therapist, "I think... that will do for today..."

"That was mean Aerith," said Elmyra softly, after Redman had left.

"I consider it payback," said Aerith darkly before musing, "For a therapist, she has a weak stomach. I had better control when I was six years old. I had to."

Elmyra just sighed, and didn't respond otherwise...

* * *

"Physical training and fighting were the worst," said Aerith, sipping a bit of ice tea her mother had made, "I always, without fail, was miserable at them. I could never manage to even beat the simplest of monsters. Hojo knew I wasn't a fighter, had no potential for it at that age. I think he did it when he was feeling particularly sadistic, or wanted to berate me for some reason."

Aerith spoke snidely in a nasal tone. "Always so disappointing Specimen A. Specimen S defeated that creature his first time with ease, you couldn't even injure it."

"Did he do that alot?" asked Redman.

"What? Pit me against monsters? Yeah, at least a few times a month from age five onwards," said Aerith.

"I... no, I mean yes, but not that," said Redman, "I meant, did he compare you to Sephiroth alot? I assume that's who he was referring to."

The cup in Aerith hand shattered as her fist tightened. "Every chance he could."

Elmyra sighed. "You're cleaning that up Aerith."

Aerith huffed a little, muttering under her breath as she moved to do so.

"Did you resent Sephiroth for that?" asked Redman.

Aerith laughed a little. "How couldn't I? He was always the measure stick I was held against. It felt like most of the punishments I got were his fault. I..."

She looked away, ashamed. "I hated him, early on. That I could never measure up to him. Whenever Hojo started rambling about Specimen S and how I'd compare in this experiment or that test, I always knew I was in for it. I hated Sephiroth so much..."

She sighed. "When I voiced that to my birth mother... that was the first time she taught me compassion for others. Really taught me it. Because she pointed out that Hojo was doing the same thing to me that had been done to Sephiroth."

"I see," said Redman thoughtfully, "How did that make you feel?"

"Pity," said Aerith, "I suppose. I felt bad for him. I felt... a little relieved, that me and Ifalna weren't the only ones who had suffered Hojo's attention. But... I wished... I could have kept hating him."

"Because you lost something that you had always been able to blame your suffering on."

"Yeah," said Aerith, her voice painfully dry, "Yeah. It took me way to long to realize I should have been hating Hojo the entire time..."

* * *

"I remember when Hojo injected me with Jenova Cells," said Aerith.

Redman chocked a bit. "What?! You..."

Aerith shook her head. "Ilfana purged them out of me before they could spread very far. You wouldn't believe how enraged she was. It was the first time I had ever seen her lose it. She wielded her magic with a power I never knew she had, that I've never touched without materia, in this life or the la... the visions. She killed a number of staff, infantry, a Turk I think, and destroyed half the lab we were in. Almost got Hojo before she was pinned down by SOLDIERs. She swore if he ever put them in me again, she'd destroy him, rip his soul apart so that he'd never find peace in the Promised Land. That she'd kill herself, and me, before she let the Calamity take us."

Aerith smiled, it was a savage smile. "It was one of the few times I've ever seen Hojo afraid. He never did try that again."

"She'd... kill you?" whispered Redman.

Aerith shrugged. "It would have been a mercy."

"Did... you understand that at the time?"

"I figured whatever Hojo had done was bad to make Ifalna freak like that," said Aerith, "And... the way I had felt. The burning, sickly, spreading taint. For a moment, before my birth mother purged it..."

Aerith shuddered. "I... I thought I heard a woman's voice in my head... it promised me peace, freedom, revenge, if only I'd listen to her..."

Aerith shook, and Elmyra quickly walked over to place a arm around her. "Shh Aerith, shh..."

"I never wanted to hear that voice again," whispered Aerith, "That voice of nightmares."

Redman looked apprehensive. "So... Jenova is a deceiver then?"

"Oh no," said Aerith, "I don't doubt Jenova would have given me everything I wanted as she twisted me into a tool of her will, making it seem like what she wanted was also what I wanted."

"But... I thought Jenova wasn't awake?" asked Redman, confused.

Aerith sighed. "Her body wasn't active, and she never took an active control of her cells. She's dormant by our definitions, but she's always whispering to those who would hear her will."

"Oh... that's troubling," said Redman.

Aerith shrugged. "You have to be weakened of will for her whispers to really break through and nearby her main body, or so I'm led to believe. So it's generally not a problem."

"Still...," said Redman before shaking her head, "Nevermind. Do you mind if I direct your recollection about your mother for this session?"

"Go for it."

"What is your first memory of her?"

"I... my first memory of Ifalna... was her crying over me while healing me," said Aerith quietly, "I think... it was my first test against a monster, well before I could even think of lifting a basic weapon. He wanted to see if I had any built in reflexes. If i did, they weren't good enough. I was gored, badly."

"Hojo put you into a combat situation when you were basically a toddler?!" Redman's voice had gone shrill, "I thought you said it started when you were five? Which isn't honestly much better."

"Like I said, he called it a reflex test, not a combat test," Aerith grew bitter. "He said he did it with Sephiroth, and he had much better results..."

"That's not actually true Aerith," said Doctor Redman, her voice carefully neutral.

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't reveal anything in particular about you to him, but in the interest of perhaps getting him into his own therapy, I asked Sephiroth a question about his early life in the labs."

Aerith tensed, staring at the woman in shock. "Are you **_insane_**?"

Maybe this Sephiroth wasn't crazy, but that was asking for it!

Redman seemed amused at her outburst. "Sephiroth was quite calm and respectful about it. His response was that Hojo didn't got sole control over him until Professor Gast left the Jenova Project. While he admitted to some early tests and lighter experiments, he said the worst of it didn't start until Hojo took over the science department. Any results Hojo compared you to were from a somewhat older Sephiroth, not the same age as you."

A feeling of burning, consuming, fire roiled up in Aerith. "That... _bastard_. He _**LIED** _ to me! Of course he lied to me!"

She couldn't help it. She screamed and swept everything off the table in a shattering of vases and plates and tingling of silverware. "EVERY GOAL WAS INTENTIONALLY OUT OF REACH! HE NEVER EXPECTED ME TO MEASURE UP! HE WANTED ME TO FAIL! WANTED SEPHIROTH TO ALWAYS BE SEEN AS BETTER THAN AN ANCIENT!"

"Aerith!" cried out Elmyra.

Aerith saw red for a long moment, and when she came to, find her fist embedded in the house's wall, many punch indents and holes near it, her breathing ragged and labored. Aerith slowly withdrew her hand and slid to the floor, pressing her head against the wall, tears of frustration spilling down her face. "He always spoke of being impartial, about not biasing his experiments with expectations... he's... just a hack, a fake, a psychopath with a degree..."

He sat there for a long moment before rising to her feet and turning, pausing when she saw Elmyra and Redman's fear stained faces. Aerith turned, took one look and the butchered wall, and muttered, "Sorry about the wall. I'll pay for it."

Without further word, she turned a retreated upstairs to her room and sobbed... she had never wanted her mother to be afraid of her...

* * *

"Most of the tests he did, the mental ones anyway, were puzzles, or just reciting things I read," said Aerith, "Those... were the better days."

"What kind of puzzles did he have you do?"

Aerith shrugged. "It varied every time. It started with simple puzzle games, but grew into larger logic puzzles, like, if you run X fast for X amount of time with X distance per step, how far could you run."

"He gave you mathematical equations that young?"

"I told you, he never let me be stupid," said Aerith flatly, "Though, even that had its limits. Said the human brain needed at least a few years to begin to understand such complexities. Anything more than picture puzzles and basic math didn't really start until I was five."

She sighed. "When I got bored, I did those in my head to pass the time."

She smiled a little. "You might find this odd, but, you have no idea how happy I was that Elmyra didn't send me to school, or well, the slum version of school. It just... let me be simple for once and..."

"While I'm happy to hear that, kind of, we're getting ahead of ourselves," pointed out Redman.

Aerith wrinkled her nose. "I guess. But yeah, I had that sort of crap crammed down my head almost every day."

"He never really let you have anything or do anything that let you be a child, did he?"

"Not really."

"Do you have something about Ifalna you'd like to share today?"

She smiled sadly. "She would sing quietly to me. She didn't expect anything from me during our time together. It was... soothing, relaxing. She just let me be..."

* * *

"He'd inject me with things," said Aerith, "Illnesses, viruses, chemicals, just to see how my body would react to them."

"What was the worst?"

"Well, its hard to say," admitted Aerith, "He'd never tell me beforehand what he was putting in me, and very rarely told me afterwards. Jenova Cells were... ironically not the worst thing I've felt in me. The most alarming yes, but not the most painful. One time..."

She fidgeted. "One time, it felt like my insides were liquefying. You have no idea how painful that was. Even after I was healed, even with my birth mother's magic, the pain stayed for days."

"I believe that's called... phantom pain? No, that's with limb that arn't there anymore, um..."

Aerith waved a hand. "Whatever it was, it felt real. Never screamed like that before or after in my entire life. Hell... I didn't make a sound when I was run through and killed..."

She shook her head when Redman opened her mouth. "I know, I know, ahead of myself. Was just making a comparison."

Aerith ran a hand through her hair. "I've been in all kinds of states from what he put into me. Feeling detached from my own body. Delirious out of my mind. Sicker than a dog. Hyperactive to the point of bouncing off a wall, literally. I think being hypersensitive to everything was the worst. My state of mind changed day to day, he put enough chemicals in me to make teenage moodswings seem pleasant in comparison. Sometimes he let them run their course, sometimes he called Ifalna in to fix me, sometimes he tested some counter-agent, which more often than not made things worse."

"I was a guinea pig," she whispered, clenching her fists tightly and looking away, "His little pet half-cetra."

Redman jotted down a few notes on a pad of paper. "Where does the term 'pet' come from in all of this?"

Aerith scowled. "Because I... I used to follow behind him early on, before I really knew better, like a pet. Even afterwards, when I knew all he brought was pain, I still followed."

"Because there was nothing else."

Aerith gave a humorless smile. "I could have resisted and made him drag me."

"Which would have encouraged punishment, humans do a lot of what they do to avoid pain Aerith, especially children, it's natural."

Aerith looked away and swallowed. "Sometimes, I think there needs to be a line drawn that you can't allow yourself to cross."

"Would you have any concept of that as a five year old?"

"No," Aerith admitted, "Probably not."

"You do know, you do understand, that you are not some pet, not an animal, right?"

Aerith scoffed. "We're all animals Doctor Redman."

"You're avoiding the question."

"I will always be a pet, a specimen, to **_him_** ," she spat.

Redman studied her across the table, thinking, before saying softly, "It's only a weight if you let it be."

"I know," said Aerith, sighing after, "It didn't matter anymore when I was dead in the lifestream, nothing like that mattered, but... alive... it's..."

"Always weighing in the back of your mind," offered Redman, "Here and now he only has power if you let him."

Aerith pursed her lips. "You really need to rethink that. Because Hojo being _anywhere_ except dead is a power over every living thing on the planet. The only thing currently worse than him is Jenova itself."

Redman went awkwardly silent at that before evidently deciding to end the session, "What would you like to remember about your birth mother today?"

Aerith's eyes went briefly distant, and sadness rippled from her. "She told me of the Promised Land."

"The legend?"

"It's both real, and not real, at the same time," said Aerith quietly, "It's the afterlife, floating in the lifestream, all your worldly troubles left behind. For normal people anyway. She told me, that when we went there, there would be no more pain or suffering. That... if push came to shove, she'd take us both there herself early."

"That's..."

"I was a young child," said Aerith softly, "I didn't understand what she was saying at the time, but... there are some things better to have died than experienced. And I... looking back, I think I was the only reason she hadn't sought the Promised Land herself already. Hojo was far more cruel to her than he was to me. Because... I wasn't the one who had to watch my own child go through that kind of hell..."

* * *

"Aerith?"

"Hmm?" said Aerith, looking up from picking around her plate of food at Doctor Redman.

"You've barely said a word since I've arrived."

"Most whats left is just... small stuff... until we get to the final parts," said Aerith quietly.

"You mean what led up to your escape?"

There was no warmth in Aerith's voice. "Yes."

"Do you feel you need time to prepare yourself to talk about this?"

"I've been working towards it since we began Doctor," said Aerith bleakly, "If I must retell it, then I don't have a choice. Telling it now instead of later means nothing to me, it's going to hurt either way, and once I've begun, I don't think I'll be able to stop, because I wont ever be speaking of it again once I'm done."

She can see the queasiness in Redman's eye. The woman knows its going to be bad, and wouldn't Aerith hate to disappoint?

"Do you remember, Doctor, when I told you about figuring out Hojo never gave a damn about me?" asked Aerith, "That the game he was playing was a lie?

"You said you figured it out when you were six? As part of a project to analyze people?"

"Yeah, when I started to finally resist him," said Aerith slowly, "I told you things got worse. That's... honestly an understatement. Because he wasn't pretending anymore, no more of that ' _I'm so disappointed nonsense_ ', any fake or mock care he pretended to have was gone. When he called me Specimen A, there was no more fondness, only contempt and irritation. He became brutal in his testing. I was never numbed from that point onward no matter how painful the experiments were. He left me regularly untreated and sometimes wounded to 'test my resilience'. Everything just... went bad, worse than it had been. And... and then... he decided he wanted to try again."

"Try... again?" asked Redman, confused.

Aerith watched her eyes flicker towards Elmyra, for some kind of clue. But this is something she had never told her mother either. She's half the mind to think she's going to flip or lose control half-way through telling this. Or go compleatly dead inside, she didn't honestly know.

"To raise a pet cetra," she said flatly.

"He offered to... what? Take you back?" asked Redman.

"No," said Aerith, her throat clamping up, "He decided he wanted to... to have another Cetra to start the whole process over with. So... he had Ifalna... he... he brought me in... told me it would be... educational to watch... would teach me about reproduction."

Then Redman gets it, horrified. "He had her raped."

Aerith was full on shaking, looking downward at the table, a ragged breath escaping her lips, and for a moment, rather than bury it, she let the memory resurface, saw her mother strapped down and telling her to look away but Hojo wouldn't let her and... she just couldn't, she shoved it back down and locked it away with the rest of the memories to dark and twisted to _ever_ acknowledge, a slight whine of distress escaping her lips.

Elmyra carefully came over, dragging a chair to sit next to Aerith, resting a gentle hand on her own clenched ones.

"There is no depravity that man... _thing_... would not fall to," said Redman with a sigh, "To make you watch was... cruel and very unnecessary."

"It gets worse, so much worse," was all Aerith could say, and she forced herself to keep going, because if she didn't, her throat was going to close and not open, "My mother wouldn't give him what he wanted. I could feel it, her using her power. Anytime she conceived... she killed it..."

There was a deep, gaping wound in her heart at that, and she rasped out, "She killed innocent, unborn babies, to spare them from Hojo. My brothers and sisters..."

She struggled to continue, "And... and when... when Ifalna wouldn't give him what he wanted... he... he started hormone therapy on me..."

"Please tell me this is when Ifalna took you and ran," begged Redman.

She didn't dare look at either them, didn't want to see the horror or... or pity or whatever they had on their faces. "No, that... that happened after... after she healed the scarring..."

That... was the closest she was ever going to say to what happened, and nothing Redman could threaten her with, SOLDIER or not, would ever change that. The clenched gasp from Elmyra was enough to say that at least one of them understood.

"I don't... don't know if the hormone therapy honestly worked that fast or not... considering it was only a few weeks after it started that... that he decided to test it... I'm doubtful," said Aerith brittley, "Either that... or my birth mother killed it before she took me and ran."

Elmyra was up and out of her chair, squeezing Aerith in what she imagined was the tightest hug of her life. "My sweet daughter... I'm so sorry..."

"Ifalna... killed her way out of the Science Department and ran with me," said Aerith in a hushed voice, "She was... either as mad, or even angier, than she had been when Hojo tried to put Jenova in me. As I understand it, an Ancient is supposed to be peaceful, happy, nomadic tender of the Planet. One of us turned to wrath, who actually knew how to use her power, is a truly terrible thing. There was no mercy..."

"For anyone who got between her and getting her child to safety," said Elmyra in firm understanding.

"I just... if she had that much power, why wait so long?" asked Redman.

"She was afraid, I think," said Aerith softly, "If she failed, and we were caught, she'd never see me again. Hojo would never have given her a second chance to take me and run. She always said there was to much power imprisoning us, with SOLDIER, Turks, the entire Shinra Army, and we were in the most secure place in Midgar. I don't think she ever expected to get as far as we did. But at that point, she couldn't bring herself to wait any longer. Do or die."

Aerith looked up through tearstained eyes at Doctor Redman, "You want to know what my most powerful memory of my birth mother is? It's... its that she **_died_ ** for me. She loved me so deeply that she died for me, broke her own peaceful ways for me, took bullets to protect me, held me tight as she bled out slowly on the train and told me everything would be alright, that rather than take me with her to the Promised Land as she went and not risk Hojo getting me again, she had hope and entrusted me to my mother."

"She loved me so much... and... and I don't love her nearly enough in return," sobbed Aerith, "I never had the chance to learn how..."

Aerith didn't remember much after that, not when Redman left, or the rest of the night, or being led to bed, but when Elmyra climbed in and curled around her, she turned and buried her head into her mother's shoulder and cried until she burned out and slept...

* * *

Alberta Redman stared down silently at all the notes she had taken over the months listening to Aerith slowly relive her time in the labs. Every thought she had, every possible treatment plan to help her heal, and wanted to dump it all in the trash bin. She had already felt in over her head to begin with, but now? She didn't have the faintest clue how to help the girl. Because, she wasn't sure the standard procedure would be enough.

Have the patient recall the trauma, help them identify it and what caused it, have the patient to feel and experience it rather than bury it away, encourage the patient to let their emotions to run their course, be willing to listen to and share the burden or bring in someone who can, and finally, help the patient let it go.

Except, she wasn't sure Aerith could let it go. The young woman had glossed over during many recollections, just regurgitating what happened, rather than trying to acknowledge and accept. She had done good, for the severity of the trauma, and Alberta had tried to get her to release her feelings on the events, with moderate success. There was also still a major problem, because frankly, the girl wasn't wrong in thinking that Hojo being alive meant she was never safe. And that was an awful feeling to have. There was little Alberta could do about that aside from find Hojo and beat his head in with a frying pan. She wasn't under any illusions about the possibility of that, so...

Alberta wanted to find a bottle to drown herself in, for a few days at least.

"How in the world is that girl not mentally fractured?" muttered the therapist, staring down at a several page-long list of damaging events and conditions that should have damned that girl to a psych-ward years ago, or made her go cold and cruel. Traumatic childhood was an understatement. It made so little sense to her how the girl could be functional in any way, shape, or form, especially the cheerful teenage girl she had been noted to be. Had briefly touched being again while with her mother...

* * *

 _"And what do we do to get back at him?"_

 _Aerith seemed to struggle with the question. struggled to think. "We... I..."_

 _"We take back our life and live it in defiance of everything he did," soothed Elmyra, "We are happy, we are carefree, we let nothing bother us, we walk free of any chains he'd use to bring you down, we are nothing like he was. We show him you could still feel, that you still can care. Okay?"_

* * *

Alberta considered the memory, pulling at it, twisting and turning and analyzing it this way and that. Elmyra's mantra had more visable effect than the therapy thus far, but, that was to be expected. Therapy was to get at the underlying cause of behavior and help them move on, it wasn't an instant quick-fix, it was a long process with slow, but gratifying results. Elmyra encouraged... burying the hatchet, putting it all away, forgetting or living in defiance of what happened. To prove that Aerith still could. In the face of everything that happened, perhaps it wasn't so ill a decision to give the young traumatized child a chance to live her life...

Perhaps Alberta was being to hasty in her estimates of Aerith's psyche and condition. She still had the rest of the girl's life to listen through. This was but the first, if but horrific, part of it. The next years, up to the time she would have been swept up with this 'AVALANCHE', were implied to have been much better, a time of healing, especially with 'her' Zack Fair.

Yes, because she couldn't disregard that young man's words either. The Zack here was not the Zack Aerith had known, and trying to force him to or imply that he should fill that role was... _unwise_. She wondered if she should have a quick check in with the young man and see how he was doing; he had his own set of pressures on him at the moment, and a quick chat could do wonders if he was willing.

Because Alberta, in her experience with SOLDIERs, knew they never sought help unless they were forced to, even when they were drowning. SOLDIERs were constantly in warfare over in Wutai, on potentially dangerous missions against monsters, exposeded to extreme levels of violence in their training and sparring, and who knows what else that was classified from her ( _knowing they had a bit of space parasite in them definitly made her even more concerned for them_ ). She was of the mind that the vast majority of SOLDIER should have mandatory counseling at least once every few months, especially the top trio, all things considered.

She had been read in on enough to be cleared to treat the Cetra, and that included a large majority of the Jenova Project and it's victims.

Frankly, she wouldn't call them anything else...

* * *

Sunday, Sephiroth mused, was supposed to be a day of rest and relaxation, winding down from a week of mindless paperwork and pointless meetings generally, sometimes missions. The ceasefire with Wutai was still up and going, longer than usual to his interest, and considering the President's lack of care for it after the Cetra had said her piece about the Promised Land, might continue to the point of a peace treaty if they were all lucky. He even had went out and bought beverages for the weekly gathering he, Genesis, and Angeal did ( _now that the latter was finally up and moving again, still moody from time to time_ ).

Yet, he found himself doing his job on his relaxation day in his apartment, once again. He was required to do this, to keep track of the mental status of his SOLDIERs who went into therapy, 3rd Class Gainsborough going home for the rest of her initial treatment had been a... complication. But, Doctor Redman bringing back notes and recordings and observations to her office allowed him to circumvent that. It wasn't difficult to slip in and make copies.

This was the first time however, he sorely regretted having to do this.

He had heard all sorts of admissions, confessions, and painful pasts listening in on these types of sessions before. Feelings of inadequacy, abusive parents, rivalry, jealousy, the pain of losing a loved one, trauma of losing a limb, being the sole surviving of a mission gone bad, ect...

Aerith Gainsborough however, was the first time that anything he heard had struck home so deeply against him. Was the first time he could admit, that someone had suffered through things worse than he had at Hojo's hands. Listening to the recordings, the cracks and pain in her voice as she described her 'sessions' with Hojo, caused him to relive some of his own memories in quiet, comparative, consideration. It also shamed him, because he for once did not want to do this, wanted to turn away from his job and let her past be kept by her and her alone. In Shinra, privacy did not really exist, but... still. He had never spoken of what had happened to him specifically in the labs, if their positions had been reversed, and he found someone poking their nose into it, he... wasn't sure how controlled of a response he would have.

He sighed softly and flicked one of the labeled recordings on, fast forwarding it...

* * *

 _Redman's voice cued in: "I meant, did he compare you to Sephiroth alot? I assume that's who he was referring to._

 _There was the sound of a shattering cup before Aerith answered, voice tight and angry: "Every chance he could."_

 _ _ _Mrs. Gainsborough__ sighed. "You're cleaning that up Aerith."_

 _The faint sound of Aerith huffing came through a little, muttering under her breath,_

 _"Did you resent Sephiroth for that?" asked Redman._

 _Aerith laughed a little, bitterness evident. "How couldn't I? He was always the measure stick I was held against. It felt like most of the punishments I got were his fault. I..."_

 _There was a brief pause before she continued: "I hated him, early on. That I could never measure up to him. Whenever Hojo started rambling about Specimen S and how I'd compare in this experiment or that test, I always knew I was in for it. I hated Sephiroth so much..."_

* * *

Saying Sephiroth had the urge to throttle Hojo would be repetitive and pointless at this point, but he really did want to yet again, take that scrawny neck, and slam him into the wall again and again. Sephiroth had been used, yet again used, without his consent or will. This time, against a little girl. A little girl who had been not only younger than him for these experiments, but unenhanced. Sephiroth had been exposed to mako by this point, any comparisons would be pointless and were, ultimately, just more of Hojo's damnable schemes.

He was loath to admit, how uncomfortable hearing that hatred of him from her. It wasn't as if he had any choice in the matter, he wouldn't have wanted to be used that way against Ifalna's child. He was also not blind to how Hojo was pitting the girl against Sephiroth by doing so. To what end, Sephiroth couldn't guess. Had Hojo wanted Aerith to hate Sephiroth? Look up to him as a goal? Develop a rivalry? Make her feel inadequate in these unfair comparisons? What had been his final goal in this?

Sephiroth shook his head and continued the recording...

* * *

 _Aerith sighed. "When I voiced that to my birth mother... that was the first time she taught me compassion for others. Really taught me it. Because she pointed out that Hojo was doing the same thing to me that had been done to Sephiroth."_

 _"I see," said Redman thoughtfully, "How did that make you feel?"_

 _"Pity," said Aerith, "I suppose. I felt bad for him. I felt... a little relieved, that me and Ifalna weren't the only ones who had suffered Hojo's attention. But... I wished... I could have kept hating him."_

 _"Because you lost something that you had always been able to blame your suffering on."_

 _"Yeah," said Aerith, her voice painfully dry, "Yeah. It took me way to long to realize I should have been hating Hojo the entire time."_

* * *

Sephiroth clicked the recording off and put it down, running a hand through his hair. "..."

How he missed Ifalna. It was the first thought that came to him. That way of compassionate logic had been so brief in his life, and so thoroughly trampled over in years to come. Considering what his 'vision self' had done to Aerith, this moment, when Ifalna had shown her compassion, was probably the only reason Aerith didn't hate Sephiroth guts with an all consuming passion. He shouldn't care to much about that, he never really had before, but... his men hating him could cause complications on missions, bucking orders, and the like. Aerith hating him, someone distinctly important, and with great potential, could have drastic impact. He wondered if she would have bothered revealing the truth of his past to him, or just tried to kill him if she had hated him...

He didn't know what to do with her pity. Generally, he disliked the emotion, especially when it was directed at him. But this wasn't some random person feeling bad for Shinra's pet general for some reason, this was someone who had gone through the labs, who understood that pain. He toyed with the feeling for a bit, not sure what to do with it, before simply pushing it away for the time being. He wasn't listining to this for his own feelings, but to judge Gainsborough's fitness to be in SOLDIER.

He had listened through all of these once before, just to get the general thing down with specific notes to look into certain sections again. Indepth. He picked up another recording and clicked it on...

* * *

 _Aerith's voice chimed in, already shaky. "He... had me pretend to be him once, ordering his subordinates how to go through a dissection."_

 _"How did that make you feel?'"_

 _There was nothing for a moment in the recording before Doctor Redman spoke again, "It's alright Aerith."_

 _"It's NOT!" shouted Aerith in a panic, "It's NOT okay! You... you're a therapist! How do you THINK it made me feel?"_

 _"Powerful? In control?" guessed Doctor Redman, "Happy that it was someone else under the knife and not you for once?"_

 _Aerith choked a little. "I..."_

 _"Aerith, you were in an awful situation, feeling that way is, I imagine, a perfectly normal response," said the therapist, "You had no freedom there, and you were constantly hurt and degraded. It's..."_

 _Aerith's voice was... quaking. "It's not okay, don't... d-don't you dare say it was! I... I walked..."_

 _She started sobbing. "I walked his people through dissecting a human being! Who was still alive and screaming for the first part of it! I'm... I'm a monster just as bad as he is!"_

 _Aerith started crying uncontrollably, deeply._

 _"I... I didn't want to do it," she whispered, her voice having a distinctly broken quality to it at the moment, "But he was watching... had been talking about the opportunity for months... he promised a big reward for me... he would have... would have been so disappointing and angry if I failed him... would have hurt me and mom so badly... msorry-I'msorrysorrysorrysorrysorry..."_

* * *

Sephiroth clicked it off, lips pursed. All things considered, he ought to pull her out of SOLDIER. It's the cold, logical thought; emotional breaks had no place in SOLDIER. But that would be hypocritical of him, considering that Angeal was still in SOLDIER as a 1st Class. If he allowed himself an emotional response, it would be to gut Hojo with a smile on his face. He considered Hojo's goal here, of making Aerith like him, and found himself distinctly glad that hadn't happened.

Ancients were said to having healing powers, Ifalna proved that true. Having a cetra as a mad-scientist who could experiment, heal the subject, and continue experimenting over and over again... that was a shudder worthy thought. An endless nightmare. Everyone had within them the capacity for good or evil. Sanity or madness. He distinctly understood that considering what he had been told of his 'vision self'. Having Aerith on the opposing end of the spectrum, depending on what stage of enhancement she was at, could be very, very dangerous.

Then again, Angeal had almost killed Sephiroth in his fit of emotional devastation. If he counted that _possibility_ against Aerith, could he consider himself impartial or fair? Now that he thought about it, should he even be doing these anymore? He was already looking the other way in regards to Angeal, he was compromised, but did he trust anyone else to do these and not potentially abuse what knowledge they gained? Aerith herself had many ways in which the knowledge of her past could be used to hurt, to _devastate_ her.

If Sephiroth wasn't doing this, someone else would be. He wouldn't trust anyone else with this responsibility, to not act, for good or ill, on what was learned. Perhaps a Turk could manage to do so, but this was a SOLDIER matter. At the end of the day, regardless of what he thought or felt about what he learned, he was only here to determine if she should be a SOLDIER. Not to act on what he learned in any way, shape, or formed, nor give any indication he knew anything. He had to be able to look his SOLDIERs in the eye, having listened to their personal past, and show no reaction whatsoever. He did not think anyone else but the top of the Turks could manage that type of firm control either.

Now... coming up was what he had noted to be the most interesting part of this, to him at least...

* * *

 _"Merciful gods, what did you do to her?" exclaimed_ _ _ _Mrs. Gainsborough__ , "I haven't seen her like this since she was eight!"_

 _"She's had panic attacks like this before?" asked Redman._

 _"Panic attacks? You think this is just a panic attack?" came Elmyra at a shrill tone, "This is her entire life crashing down on her again. I'll not ask a third time: What. Did. You. Do?"_

 _"I... I'm a therapist, I was trying to help her come to terms with her early life in...," began Doctor Redman before pausing, "Umm, Zack, you should step out for a moment. This is patient confidential."_

 _"Yeah, sure," said Zack uneasily, "Right, I'll be down the hall."_

 _"By early life," hissed_ _ _ _Mrs. Gainsborough__ , "Were you talking about what that bastard scientist did to her?"_

 _"Yes, I take it you are aware?"_

 _ _Mrs. Gainsborough_ gave a slightly hysterical laugh. "Am I aware? The girl hardly had a clue that half the things done to her were inhumane and wrong! She expected it to continue! She used to tell me about everything! Everything that happened to her as if it were commonplace. Do you know, after the first few days, she asked me when the men with needles were coming with the injections? Or when she was going to have to go back to the 'experimentation room'? If she was going to be punished for accidentally breaking a dish? If I was going to be the one to do the next procedure? She told me she could walk me through it if I was new, even started to before I had to hush her up or empty my stomach. Do you know how long it took me to get her to stop referring to herself as Specimen A? YES, I'M FUCKING AWARE!"_

 _"Gods sake woman," said_ _ _Mrs. Gainsborough_ , breathless, "I did my best to help her move on and forget for a reason! I gave her a chance to develop into a sweet young woman, in defiance of the hell she went through, and you go and dig it back up. My daughter already has enough on her plate without this."_

 _"It's... not healthy to keep something like this bottled up," said Redman._

 _"Sometimes, it's not about being healthy, but being able to even function and survive," said_ _ _Mrs. Gainsborough_ thinly, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a daughter to tend to. Afterwards, she's coming back home with me for awhile, you can tell the Turks and the SOLDIERs if they want her back before I get her situated then I will shove my broom up their asses."_

 _There was a rustling of movement. "Aerith honey? I want you to listen. Okay? Are you listening?"_

 _"Yes," Aerith mumbled weakly._

 _"Who do we hate?"_

 _"Hojo," Aerith whispered._

 _"Why do we hate him?"_

 _"He... he ruined my life," whispered Aerith._

 _"And what do we do to get back at him?"_

 _Aerith seemed to struggle with the question. "We... I..."_

 _"We take back our life and live it in defiance of everything he did," soothed Mrs. Gainsborough, "We are happy, we are carefree, we let nothing bother us, we walk free of any chains he'd use to bring you down, we are nothing like he was. We show him you could still feel, that you still can care. Okay?"_

* * *

Sephiroth turned off the recording and switched to his laptop. This session had thankfully been in the Doctor's office in HQ, so he also had a video of it as well. He watched it a few times, sound off and on, sometimes switching back to the recording with no video, studying body language and tone. This was... probably the most important moment for studying Aerith's character from these sessions thus far.

He couldn't say he didn't understand doing things in defiance of Hojo, it was one of the reason's Sephiroth kept his hair long after all. Aerith's mother had taken that to a whole new level, making it a way of life. It gave Sephiroth a logic conundrum. Was living one's life in defiance of someone truely living? He'd like to think the happy girl she had been noted to be in Mrs. Gainsborough's care would have been her natural state anyway, but he couldn't be one-hundred percent sure. It was, he could admit, likely. But did Aerith herself consider it like that?

He had yet to hear about that part of Aerith's life from her perspective yet. Not to mention, did the Turk profile of her only show what was seen outside the girl's house? What about what happened inside? Currently, what he had heard was a large strike against the girl, even if it was through no fault of her own. Yet... it was to soon to fully judge the girl. Regardless of what he had heard thus far. These seven years of her life were not all of it, a large, potentially dehibilitating factor perhaps, but not all of it.

Still... there was one, personal pleasure he got from all of this.

He reached for what he dubbed his 'favorite' recording and clicked it on...

* * *

 _There was the continues sound of Aerith punching holes through a wall, ranting and crying and screaming before it slowly ended into ragged and labored breathing, soft sniffles."He always spoke of being impartial, about not biasing his experiments with expectations... he's... just a hack, a fake, a psychopath with a degree..."_

* * *

"I am glad someone finally agrees with me that Hojo is a hack," mused Sephiroth, clicking off the recording.

He looked down at one of the others with a frown, the admission of the rapes, and wasn't quite sure he wanted to stomach hearing that again, but steadied himself to reach for it...

And jolted when the door to his room burst open, and Genesis strode in like he owned the place with a pack of beer in his hand. "I knew it! Working on our day off again! For shame Sephiroth!"

"Genesis!" hissed Sephiroth in frustration, scrambling to close his laptop and gather the copies of Doctor Redman's notes and recordings, "I told you I was to busy for this today!"

Angeal walked in a moment later, with a large bottle of wine. "Sorry, but, you've been busy the last few sundays, you need an actual break for once."

Sephiroth pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "Give me a moment to put my work away."

They trio settled down a few minutes later, Sephiroth and Angeal in separate chairs, Genesis on the couch, beverages on the table between them. Genesis propped one leg over the other and cracked open a bear. "Ah, there we go. _Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess._ "

"I'm pretty sure beer is manmade," said Angeal dryly.

"Do you know how many different folklores have gods partaking in alcoholic merrymaking?" countered Genesis dryly, "Alcohol is the gift of the gods to man!"

Angeal snorted, and Sephiroth allowed himself a small chuckle. He watched the two of them joke and jeer around with eachother, it was... always refreshing, these short moments. He responded faintly when spoken to, but mostly just allowed himself to bask in his friend's presence, as annoying as the pair could be at times. What Aerith needed, was a pair like these two. Well, she probably needed a great many things at this point...

"Earth to Seph," called Angeal.

"Hmm?"

"Thought we lost you for a moment," the man teased.

"Care to share what has you so dark and brooding this time?" poked Genesis.

Sephiroth considered it for a long moment before shaking his head and reaching for the bottle of wine Angeal brought, pouring himself a glass and taking a sip. He trusted these two with many things, but not this. He gave an indulgent smile and thanks for the wine, and settled comfortably into his chair.

"So, whose turn is it to choose a movie to watch?" asked Angeal.

"Mine," said Genesis victoriously, "And there is this wonderful play I think you neanderthals would benefit from watching, highly educational and enlightening."

Sephiroth and Angeal both groaned as the redhead began flickering through channels, dooming them to a night of painful poetry. Later, after it was said and done, and Sephiroth laid in bed, considering the subject of the Ancient again, he came to a conclusion he really wasn't certain how he felt about.

"If we had the opportunity, and she asked it of me," he mused to himself, "I'd let her kill Hojo instead of killing him myself."

He slowly shook his head, reached over for his lamp, and click it off...

* * *

 _ **Author's Notes**_ : _I'm a heartless bastard. Let me know how I did.  
_

 _Next up is Aerith's life from Lab Escape - Zack's disappearance._

 _Will probably be shorter than this chapter. Goodness, I let it drag on a bit._

* * *

 _ **Review Responses**_ :

 _Meow Meow Fluff : Happy X-Mas._

 _Azure Shine : Because they haven't talked about it yet...? This is currently just about Aerith, Sephiroth hasn't approached Lucrecia about the Jenova Project yet._

 _Guest : Hmm... a Tsviet AU, I'd need to consider just what I'd do, how I'd do it, and how it could possibly differ from cannon. I'd probably go for Shelke main character, but, idk. It would have to depend on what time period I chose. Shelke's initial entry, sometime during her conversion to being emotionally destroyed, or the current Shelke we know before DoC._

 _Morganna Saphire Raven : Weep for Shelke, weep deeply._

 _Greatazuredragon : Vessel in more ways than you'd think. *potential spoiler*_

 _Patrick the observer : Yeah... Deepground is going to be 100% converted. Jenova is a cunning, devious, insidious thing, showing love for those it's going to consume one day. There will be more chapters for them in awhile. Got a lot of Aerith stuff to burn through._


	20. Of the Past: Moving On

_**Chapter 20 - Of the Past: Moving On  
**_

* * *

As much as Aerith loved being back home with mom, she could admit, the comfy chair in Doctor Redman's office was growing on her. "I hope you don't mind, but when I'm 1st Class, I'm buying this chair from you and putting it in my appartment."

Redman gave a hearty laugh, watching her sink into it. "Maybe I'll give it to as a present at some point."

The therapist shifted focus. "Now, I believe we will be starting on your life... post laboratory."

"Honestly," said Aerith, "It didn't really become that until the end of the first year. It took... awhile for me to adjust, for mom to become mom, rather than a scared woman so far over her head."

"What was it like, at first?"

Aerith gave a sad smile. "I was little more than a doll to begin with, her words not mine. She didn't mean anything offensive by it, she was just..."

She shook her head. "I treated my home as the new labs. I put my life into a structured routine. Wake up, be ready when Elmyra came check on me, shower, brush my teeth, brush my hair, help with chores, read the various books she had on shelves, then I'd... just sit in my room, on my bed, and wait, and wait, and wait..."

"She'd check up on me," said Aerith quietly, "Anxious, worried, and whenever she opened the door at first, I'd ask if it was time for an experiment. She'd just... pale and start stuttering and then leave, to overwhelmed to deal with a screwed up little girl."

"That's not being fair to yourself."

"It's the truth," said Aerith with a shrugged, "She told me that I didn't have to act like a doll to be led about on strings, that I could go outside and play if I wanted to. Do you know what I said after that?"

Redman hesitated. "What?"

"I asked her what ' _play_ ' was, what the word meant," said Aerith bitterly.

"Hojo," Redman closed her eyes for a long moment, breathing in and out her nose. "I see."

"She hugged me for a long time after that," said Aerith softly, "Said she was so sorry, and I had no idea why at the time, she hadn't done anything wrong. She..."

She licked her lips and looked away. "She took me to the park. I saw... I saw other children playing for the first time, and I just... I froze up. I watched them all laughing and running around and I just... I ran away. I ran back to her house, I ran to my room, and I hid under the bed. I wanted to go back to the labs, to the poking, the prodding, the pain, what I understood, over facing _that_."

"Over acknowledging how badly Hojo had wronged you, over understanding it," said Redman softly, "Over facing something new."

"It took a few days for me to work up the nerve to go back," admitted Aerith, "I... remember being so confused, so _afraid_... acting anything like that in the labs was grounds for immediate and severe punishment. I just... watched. Studied them. The other children. Tried to understand. I couldn't figure it out, there was no rhyme or reason, they seemed happy for no apparent reason. I..."

She wringed her hands together. "One of them approached me once, asked if I wanted to play ball. I... I froze again, but mom was there and said it was alright. So... I tried. I understood the concept loosely, that I was supposed to catch a ball when thrown to me and toss it at someone else. I did what everyone else did... but... I couldn't fathom why it made them happy. Everyone was smiling and laughing and giggling but me. And... they noticed."

A bitter smile crossed her face. "They said if I didn't like the game, I didn't have to play. I asked an honest question, why they enjoyed throwing a ball around... they just looked at me, and I started babbling about reasons and methodology, was the game some kind of reward for good behavior..."

She shook her head. "It was the first time someone called me a freak, and it wouldn't be the last time."

"Children can be cruel," offered Redman.

"I _was_ a freak, Doctor Redman," said Aerith with a sigh, "I wasn't normal, wasn't... _right_. It was a long time before I was anything close to passable in a social setting. But... those first few months ruined my future in the slums."

"How so?"

"Stigmas linger," she answered, "That incident in the park was just the first of many. During that first year I... introduced myself to people as Specimen A... that always got me strange and wary looks. They called me the brain addled girl. The girl who heard things. The freak. There's all sorts of names they stuck me with."

Aerith touched the memories, the sensation of isolation and loneliness. "Aside from my mother, the Planet, unless you count drug addicts or other messed up people or homeless people who stayed at the church... I... I had no one else until Zack..."

She shivered, feeling the weight of it, of all those years where no one but her mom reached out for her...

"That's enough for today's session," said Redman softly, setting down her notepad and walking over to rest a hand on Aerith's shoulder. "I'm so sorry your years free had to be like that."

Aerith gave her a tired smile. "At least there were no Hojo in anywhere but my nightmares."

Redman flinched a little before nodding. "At least there was that..."

* * *

"At what point did you start really adjusting to life outside the labs?"

Aerith twirled a bit of her hair around a finger. "I'm... not really sure how to answer that."

"Why?"

Aerith averted her eyes. "I'm... pretty sure I... had a breakdown of some kind. That period of time, towards the end of the first year, is... really hazy in my mind. I know mom had been pressing me. Pointing out how things should be, that I can be happy, be a kid. That Hojo was a bad person."

The therapist's eyebrows furrowed. "But you already knew that."

"Did I?" asked Aerith sullenly, "I chose Ifalna over him not because I thought he was bad, but because he did everything he did for himself and his twisted form of science, while Ifalna did everything she did for me. Because he brought pain while she brought comfort. It was a logical choice. Not based off right or wrong, I had no concept of that notion at the time."

She put her arms around herself protectively. "I saw people cut up in the labs and thought it was _normal_ , Doctor Redman. Do you have any idea just how sick and twisted I could have grown up to be if it wasn't for my mom fixing me?"

Redman's eyes narrowed. "Aerith, you are not a machine that needed to be _fixed_."

"Depends on who you ask," muttered Aerith, "Some people say were animals, some people say were biological machines."

"That makes no sense," said Redman before pausing, "Hojo?"

Aerith adopted a nasal voice. "You can explain any behavior from a human as a series of chemical reactions in the brain, with variance for gender, experiences, and personal will, with some predispositions dependent on DNA."

A disgusted look crossed Redman's face. "I will never understand him, nor do I think I'd want to."

Aerith didn't answer. She understood far more about that sick and twisted mind that anyone sane would ever dare to. Had been so close to becoming like that...

"Do you remember the mantra?" Aerith asked quietly, "That mom said?"

Redman nodded.

"The breakdown... the freakout... whatever you want to call it...," said Aerith, swallowing, looking away, "Was when I finally accepted that Hojo was bad, was well and truly evil... that... that I was like him... that I was bad and evil..."

"Aerith, that's not true!"

"Wasn't it?" asked Aerith, "I walked a team through dissecting a living human being when I was a _child_. I was raised to think and act and feel like Hojo did. I was being shaped to be completely and utterly evil, without humanity or compassion."

Aerith clutched her arms around herself. "The truth shattered me."

"Oh Aerith..."

Aerith looked away for a long moment. "You were right. The others were right. I'm not okay, _at all_. Are you happy now?"

"Yes and no," said Redman softly, "I'm glad you understand, so you can truly start healing from your past, but I don't want you to beat yourself up about it. What you've gone through would destroy the vast majority of humanity if any one of us were to go through it."

"My past," she murmured bitterly, "I think, that my past is how Jenova would have converted me in that other vision. Would have used my pain and suffering and hate to twist me if I didn't get help to deal with it."

"What do you mean _other vision_?" asked Redman, startled.

"Minerva tried to show me other potential futures, to guide or warn me," admitted Aerith, "Most are a jumbled mess, but some I can remember better. In one of them..."

She trailed off, swallowing heavily. "In one of them, I called Jenova mother, she called me daughter, and I murdered Sephiroth in the Calamity's name."

She bows her head, trying to stabilize her breathing, feeling panic and fear and self-loathing breaking her control.

"Oh... oh Aerith," whispered Redman, moving to sit on the arm of the chair and draw Aerith into a hug.

"Sephiroth stopped it," sobbed Aerith, "Called me out for being stupid and impatient, wanting to go off on my own and kill Jenova. I would have been isolated, captured, they would have used me to eventually get around the immunity to infect and convert me. I never learned... I went off on my own from Avalanche and died, I would have went off my own and ruined _everything_. I would have killed an good man who tried to _save me_ , who held back to try and pull me free of Jenova rather than put me down, and I would have called him _weak_ for it."

"I'll always have that _monster_ in me, that potential," whispered Aerith, vision blurring with tears.

"Everyone does Aerith, everyone does, it's how we control that beast that matters," soothed Redman, "Enough for today. Work on your breathing, in and out, in and out, breath Aerith, breath..."

* * *

"My... first concrete memory after shattering, was gardening, working alongside mom to plant seeds," said Aerith fondly, "We'd do that often. It... brought me peace, to hear the planet's soothing tone, even if I might not have understood it at the time."

"It offers concentration, something to focus on," said Redman, nodding, "It gives a sensation of progress as you see your works bear fruit over time."

Aerith paused to toy with the idea. "Maybe?"

Redman smiled a bit. "It does. Gardening, or other progressive hobbies where you make concrete steps, is a common technique I've suggested to people when they start to become overwhelmed by their trauma when alone. Something to focus on rather than the pain, and potentially giving into it."

Aerith tilted her head for a moment, trying not to take offense. "I was never suicidal."

"I didn't say you were, I was just explaining why I suggest things like that, though, you and your mother were ahead of the curve on that."

"I suppose," murmured Aerith, "Things... just settled down I guess. She slowly taught me how to be a kid, how to play and have fun. But... most of the damage was already done between me and the other kids. So, I mostly played by myself."

She smiled a little. "Explored by myself to, was how I found my church. I gave my Turk watchers all kinds of fits trying to keep me out of trouble. Not only did I have a more tolerance for pain and dangerous situations, but I lacked a developed sense of what I shouldn't do or get into."

Her smile faded and she looked away. "I interacted with the Turks more than I did children my age, and they made a point to be distant most of the time."

"You were lonely."

"Terribly," admitted Aerith, "And it didn't lessen for years. I had mom, I sometimes interacted with homeless people or orphans, but... I... didn't have any friends. People were to afraid of me, or thought I was a freak. I tried to be nice... but... that more often than not got me taken advantage of. The slums really weren't a nice place..."

She looked down at her hands. "When I was eleven... I was lured into an alleyway... the man threw me into the wall and ripped my clothes off... but... Reno got there in time. Beat the man into a bloody pulp while I was crying on the ground. Reno was _viscous_ , I can remember having blood on my hands and face that weren't my own. He..."

She swallowed, a horrific scream and the stench of melting flesh assaulted her. "Have you ever seen a shock-rod shoved through someone's eye while active?"

Redman grimaced. "No, I can't say that I have."

"I think... its one of the worst death's I've seen," she admitted, "At least, outside of Hojo's labs."

"Not something you want to see when trying to move on," agreed Redman.

Aerith smiled sadly. "No, I suppose not. But... the Turks were all I really had outside my mom. I wonder what it says about me when I try to befriend hardened killers, not that they ever let it really become friendship. They were protective, a little fond, but they were watchers, not friends. I thankfully didn't try to mimic them."

"Aerith the Turk," she mused before shaking her head, "I suppose it could have happened if I had tried to change the future that way instead of through SOLDIER."

She looked away for a long moment. "I'm glad it didn't though. If they had trained me in their ways, it... it would have been to tempting to make certain people disappear. I never would have been able to match Jenova in a fight either, or a controlled SOLDIER."

Her eyes grew distant, a hint of a smile on her face. "Though... I can guarantee that somehow, someway, someday, I would have made Hojo disappear if I had the Turk's training, and maybe... maybe that could have made a difference."

"Well, that's opportunity costs for you," teased Redman.

Aerith laughed a bit, shaking her head. "Hojo or not, I shouldn't be laughing over a murder joke."

"I don't think there's a person alive who would count that against you."

"I suppose not," Aerith murmured, a lull coming over the session for a few minutes as Redman looked over her notes.

"So... your church, you found it while wandering?" asked Redman.

Aerith blinked a few times. "The Church? Yeah... I think I found it when I was... nine? Ten? Somewhere around there. I'd spend more and more time there as the years passed."

"Were you religious?"

"Not really," admitted Aerith, "I knew so little of my own people, what our faiths or deities were. I know we cherished the Planet, maybe even worshiped it, but I had never been instructed on how to do so. I didn't know Minerva existed until I died. I just... I liked being there. In that church. It was... quiet there, compared to the rest of the slums. I could hear the Planet a little better, and it put me at ease. Very few bad things ever happened there, it was a sacred place to me, protected, sanctuary. It's... its where I met both my Zack and my bodyguard."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to save your Zack for next session."

"Okay," said Aerith with a small smile, "He honestly needs his own session."

Redman put the end of her pencil in her mouth, nibbling on it. "Would you like this Zack here for it?"

Aerith gave her a startled look. "I... what?"

"As a kind of closure?"

Aerith hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. "No... it... it wouldn't be fair to do that to him. It would put unfair expectations on him, I... as much as I treasure him... both him and my Zack, I don't want to try to force him to be the same for me as he was before. And..."

She huffed a little. "And I never knew how much of a shameless flirt he was before. Honestly, he was getting me set up with SOLDIER benefits and flirting with the secretary of Human Resources at the same time."

Redman laughed. "Oh dear. Youthful energy."

Aerith's smile faded a bit. "It made me wonder... how long did it take my Zack to see me as more than his next interest?"

"That's an unfair thing to ask, Aerith," chided Redman gently, "Very few times is it ever love at first sight. Most relationships begin as simple interest in the opposite gender that develops from there."

"I suppose," murmured Aerith before sighing and running a hand through her hair, "Could we call it done for today? Up until I met Zack, my life after the labs wasn't anything extraordinary, there were a few events that were rough, but... I always had the Turks to pull me out of danger. It was... just a time for me to grow and normalize a bit."

"We could, but, what about your mother?" asked Redman, "Surely you did more than just garden with her?"

"Well, yeah," said Aerith, "We talk, gossip, cook, she schooled me in what topics I hadn't learned in the labs. We... like to do puzzle games, on the floor or the table if they are to big. We used to play cards, but... that didn't last long. You might not guess, but I'm good at counting cards. Leftover from the labs I guess."

Redman snorted. "You're kidding."

"No," giggled Aerith, "Counting cards is like a probability and memory puzzle."

"Hmm... I don't suppose you could teach that? I do play a bit with my friends on the weekends," asked Redman teasingly.

"Well...," began Aerith in a mischievous tone...

* * *

"Tell me about Zack."

Aerith smiled a wide smile. "We first met when he crashed through the roof of my church and landed on my flower bed unconscious."

Redman blinked at her. "When he _what_?"

Aerith had a brief fit of giggles. "When he crashed through the roof. It scared me half to death I tell you. Of course, the first thing he did when he woke up was start flirting with me. Honestly... that boy."

Aerith's smile faded a little. "We didn't get to spend that much time together, what with him a SOLDIER, and me hiding in plain sight in the slums. But... he came back. Each time he left, he always came back... until he didn't."

She pursed her lips for a moment and shook her head. "There's more memories before then."

"I was honestly curious how much he knew about SOLDIER, how much Shinra told its people," she said quietly, "I tested him a few times. Commented on SOLDIERs getting some kind of 'special surgery'. What did he say... ' _so they say_?'. Still loyal back then to keep a tight lip if he knew anything at all."

Her smile faded almost completely. "I was mean, in a way. I knew he was a SOLDIER, but I bad-mouthed them to him. I told him normal was the best, that SOLDIER was weird, scary, that they fought and loved it. I made it seem to be a bad thing."

Redman studied her for a moment, eyes searching. "Normal is best?"

Aerith flushed a little. "Ah..."

"Was that a test comment, or truth for you?"

Aerith looked away for a long moment. "I don't know. Maybe both?"

Redman shifted in her seat. "I suppose I skipped a question I should have asked early, or maybe I never thought to. Do you resent being an Ancient?"

Aerith sighed softly. "At times maybe. Most of my life wouldn't have happened as it did if I had been born normal. Perhaps I could have had a regular childhood with friends, gone to school, gotten to know both my birth mother and father..."

She shook her head. "But if there was no other Cetra after my birth mother. No one could have called Holy, or helped rally the lifestream during Meteor, and the end would have come quicker..."

At Redman's blank look, Aerith waved a hand. "Getting ahead of myself again. We're talking about Zack, not the first potential apocalypse."

Redman's face drained a little bit. "The... first."

Aerith wagged a finger. "Here and now Miss Therapist."

Redman huffed a little. "Whose got the PH.D. here?"

Aerith hummed, non-committal. "Zack could be a little pushy when he thought people needed it. Such a pester and bother sometimes, never took a hint. But it was charming in a way, because he was always trying to help, offer support and build confidence. Always tried to get me above the plate..."

She shook her head, bemused. "He was a little gullible to."

"Gullible? Is there a story there?"

"I told him I was afraid of the sky," she said, chagrined, "It was an on the spot thing, didn't even look him in the eye when I said it and he still bought it... yet... it's not fully a lie, not fully a truth either. Both the Turks, and Hojo I suppose, taught that the best lies were mixed with truths."

"What were you afraid of then?"

"Well, originally, I told him that fear because I didn't want to go to the upper plate with him," admitted Aerith, "Best to not risk being seen by anyone loyal to Hojo."

"Wise."

"But...," said Aerith quietly, "Once I learned more about the Calamity, I learned to be afraid of the sky, or rather, what lies above it. Space. The cosmos."

"Because of Jenova, right?"

Aerith nodded. "Out there, beyond our world, is where the source of so much suffering came from. What _other_ monstrosities exist out there?"

"The fear of the unknown," mused Redman, "Or perhaps not so unknown. Jenova is one horror, its not unreasonable to be suspicious or fearful of more. It's good that you are upfront about it, rather than leaving it unnamed and unconfronted."

She shrugged. "Oh, its confronted. A few years before the end, Minerva and I discussed the possibility of it. We decided that if anything like Jenova hit us before the Planet had a chance to recover, we'd flee."

Not that they had a chance to use Omega when Sephiroth came back serious and killed Avalanche so quickly the last time...

"Flee...?"

Aerith opened her mouth and then snapped it closed, a guarded look crossing her face. "Just... never mind."

Stupid, she couldn't get to comfortable with this. Loose lips spilled secrets best kept silent.

Redman shifted back a bit, uncertain and the sudden cold and hostile look. "Okay... lets... return to the topic at hand, about Zack."

Aerith closed her eyes. "Things... with Zack got serious quickly, not in a relationship way, but... in a dangerous way. He was put under so much stress, I almost got caught up in a few things... the Ang..."

She caught herself before she said 'Angeal Clone', "The... there was a... kind of guardian monster of all things that looked after me. A... leftover from the global mess at the time with Genesis and Angeal."

She waved a hand before Redman could comment. "I don't really know a lot about it. Just a few specific events..."

A crestfallen look overcame her. "I remember walking into the church that day Angeal died, how utterly devastated Zack was..."

"To lose a mentor is a terrible thing."

Aerith's lips went tight. "Oh, it was so much worse than that. Angeal forced Zack to kill him because he was to afraid to confront the Calamity within him."

Redman swallowed. "That... is company policy, but it is a terrible thing to do to someone you care for."

Aerith blinked. "It's _what_?"

"If someone goes rogue or betrays the company, send a friend, send family, to get them to lower their guard, or maybe they'd hold back as to not kill them."

Aerith gave her look of utter distaste. "Have I ever told you I hate Shinra?"

"You're the one trying to be a SOLDIER."

Aerith sighed. "I know, I know."

She rolled her shoulders and frowned. "I still have the urge to just walk up to and punch Angeal sometimes. Even if its not fair to this one."

"Some version of him hurt someone you loved, its not an unreasonable desire."

"Maybe not," she said quietly, "Zack... was never really the same after that. He had always had hope to bring Angeal back to SOLDIER... until he couldn't. There was always that loss in his eyes from then on in. He was... a bit more protective after that, I think the term is 'mother hen'. Should have mother henned himself a bit more..."

"The first time we 'went out', he got pickpocketed by a kid, all those enhanced senses and a little boy snatched his wallet right from under him," giggled Aerith.

Redman snorted. "Arrogance in a way I suppose."

"Innocence in another," Aerith countered softly, "He tried to see the best in the world, in people, even if they didn't deserve it."

She looked down at her hands. "He saw something in a lonely freak like me, and kept coming back, despite my faults. He... made me happy... I cared for him, I felt safe around him despite the Calamity in him. I had twenty-three little wishes, and they all ended up amounting to wanting to spend more time with him. It took him vanishing from my life to realize just how much he meant to me..."

She wrung her hands together. "When he disappeared... and didn't come back, I kind of freaked a bit. I started writing letters and giving them to Turks or SOLDIERs to pass onto him. I thought maybe he was on some kind of extended mission. I braved above the plate to ask around some of the SOLDIERs, and to try to look for him. But it never amounted to anything. I... I was a bit obsessed I guess. He was the first person I loved that wasn't family. I didn't want to lose him, to let him go. I wrote eighty-nine of those damn letters, and only one of them ever reached him, because I sent the guardian monster to track him down and give it to him."

Aerith let out a shaky breath. "Shinra betrayed him. After... after Sephiroth went insane, Shinra did a big coverup and... and gave Zack to Hojo."

Redman swallowed thickly. "That's..."

"Yeah... we talked a lot about how much we hated Hojo in the lifestream," admitted Aerith, "Zack joked about it a little..."

She cleared her throat and did a poor imitation, "My little Aerith has got a mean streak a mile wide, oh the humanity!"

Redman smiled a little. "Well... he stayed true to himself after death I suppose."

"That he did," Aerith said quietly, taking in a deep breath and letting it out, "Those years he was gone for... made me ache so badly. Filled me with such doubts. I wondered if he had left because of me, or had abandoned me. I hate myself for thinking them..."

"We all have our fears and insecurities Aerith," said Redman gently, "Those kind of situations, when a loved one goes missing, can do terrible things to people. They imagine the worst possible scenarios..."

Aerith scoffed. "Except the worst one I imagined was the one that happened."

Redman winced. "Hojo having him was one of your fears?"

"Among other things, but that was the worst thing I came up with," Aerith said quietly, "Because frankly, being dead is generally preferable than to being in Hojo's clutches. Trust me, I know from experience, and from the lifesteam. Hojo left so many victims whose deaths, whose pain and suffering hurt the lifestream..."

Aerith trailed off, her eyes going distant, looking at the wall without really seeing it, just... stop stalling, get it out and over with. "I felt it. The moment Zack died. It was like ice right through my heart. Like I had been gutted. I tried to deny it, pass it off as something else despite the Planet whispering the truth to me, its sadness for my loss. I never really got a chance to come to terms with it, to grieve, before I met my Bodyguard, and I started on my final journey."

Redman sighed softly. "I would suggest you do so, but... I'm not so blind as to not realize its hard to grieve when you can turn a corner and bump into a Zack on any given day."

Aerith gave a weak, cracked smile. "It is."

"What did you love most about him?"

Aerith blinked back into focus. "Nothing that isn't completely selfish."

Redman raised an eyebrow at her, waiting.

"I... I loved that he saw me for me, not that I was an Cetra, or had any special powers, or anything like that," Aerith admitted painfully, heart aching and yearning, "I wasn't a freak. I wasn't an object, an addled girl, a pet or a project. Not a tool to be used. Not a weapon to be wielded. I was just... Aerith. He showed me that I could be normal, that I could love and be loved."

"He helped me be whole," said Aerith, vision blurring with tears, "I miss him, I miss him so much... and I wont ever get him back..."

"I was out of it, but I still remember," said Aerith with loss, "I heard what _this_ Zack said, the pressure he's under, all the expectations... that you brought him in to try to help me. Its not fair to him, to constantly be seen as and compared to someone he could be rather than who he is right now. I _can't_ do that to him, can't hurt him like that, I know I would if I tried to hold onto him, hold onto my Zack through him..."

She had seen a future of it happening, of them being together with children... but... from where she stood now, and where Zack stood now, she didn't see how it could happen. Not to mention the deaths that happened in that ending. Did she get so obsessed with getting Zack back that she lost focus on her mission and people died for it? Was it because of her that Cloud, Genesis, Angeal, and who knows how many more people died? That Sephiroth went mad again? She didn't know...

"Letting go of the ones you love," began Redman gently, "Is sometimes the most painful thing in the world to go through, especially if its for their own sake. For you to do so is twofold the effort, and twofold the pain. To let go of your Zack, and let go of this one if that is your wish."

"I don't want to," Aerith admitted, her voice cracking.

But she knew she had to let Zack go.

It just hurt so much...

She thought of the frustration and anger in Zack's voice, the pure pressure he was on to live up to a legacy...

Oh Zack...

This was the second time he had done that, to make someone a living legacy. First to Cloud, now to a second Zack... even if it was unintentional...

She swallowed heavily, her heart throbbing, her pulse racing, her mind aching. She thought of herself laying beside Zack on that couch in the vision, watching their children play...

And let it go. "But I must."

* * *

Sephiroth listened through the tapes and watched the video of 3rd Class Gainsborough's recent sessions. Less painful, not as long in duration. Better, to a degree, in nature. No, perhaps still as painful, just different in nature of the kind of pain. A kind he admittedly lacked experience in, that of the heart. Yet... for once, it wasn't difficult to understand. Her experiences were similar enough to use as a bridge, but, this wasn't about him. It was about her and her position in SOLDIER, and the last few sessions had been rather enlightening about her character...

The will and strength to let go, even if it sounded like she was ripping a limb off by doing so.

The struggle with being seen as an object, a tool, a weapon, a freak.

That she cherished those who would not see her as such.

Reinforced earlier observations of deep care for the well-being of others, and perhaps a little vindictive over those who wronged them.

A... not so unreasonable fear of the cosmos beyond their world.

Calculative and a little cunning, to string the Zackery of her vision/future ( _whichever it was_ ) along as a caution when she had yet to determine if he could be trusted.

A desire for normalcy, but the duty and dedication to do what was necessary regardless.

The ability to count cards was not on its own a major thing, but aptitude for memory and logic puzzles had potential implications about her intellect.

The desire to bear the weight of her struggles alone, to not bring Zachery into that last session.

Not particularly religious, at least, not at that time in her life. If she was now or not, he did not know. But her tone didn't indicate worshipful reverence he occasionally heard in those of faith.

No longer allowed herself to be so easily influenced, if he was reading into what she said about the Turks correctly. He could also admit he had never personally seen a shock-rod shoved through someone's eye socket to kill them either. How unpleasant that was compared to other methods of death, he wasn't quite sure.

Not being suicidal was a very large point to note, and heavy credit in her favor. A suicidal SOLDIER was an extremely dangerous one, to themselves, and to their fellows.

Lonely, but not allowing it to dictate her.

The ability to recognize her mistakes and try to learn from them.

A recognition of the own danger she could represent was another large point in her favor.

A difficulty adjusting to new settings, but something she eventually overcame.

Finally, a recognition that she was not normal.

Those were the notes he had jotted down on a pad of paper as he listened and watched. He took those as the main points he should focus on. Though, he would not be arrogant enough to assume that he wouldn't misunderstand or miss some things. He rubbed his chin in thought as his eyes flickered from one line on the paper to another. It was... difficult... to keep his observations purely impassive and in regards to whether or not she should remain a SOLDIER. There were things that resonated with him. Being seen as an object...

He shook his head lightly and re-read the list again. All in all... it led more credibility to her being able to hold herself to SOLDIER standards with a bit more training and discipline. She showed traits that could potentially make a great SOLDIER, though that was not necessarily a good thing, for her. A SOLDIERs life was never easy, she had struggled and lost much already, she would struggle and lose potentially more if she stayed rather than being rejected and, he imagined, taken in by the Turks. The question of whether or not she could bear it however was becoming less of an uncertainty. He was relatively confident she would not crack under pressure.

Though that was not to say he wouldn't keep observing.

Some of the observations had little to do with SOLDIER, and more to do with her as a person. Not to mention some of his notes created great implications that he wasn't sure how to address. That she had additional visions was something she should not have held back. What if there were some clue in them that could be used to their advantage? Or situations to try and avoid? Just how many did she see? What did she see? The one she had hinted at was a terrible one, and one he was frankly glad he had put a stop to. Going off on one's own without backup was dangerous, even he acknowledged the potential danger on solo missions, even if he was rightly confident. Getting herself captured, eventually infected by the Calamity, and turned into the very monster he himself had been in a potential other life...

Yet...

Her words confused him. She said that he had held back, had not tried to eliminate her after she had become a threat. Why would he do that? Why would he try to ' _save her_ ' as she said? If she was an enemy, she was an enemy, he couldn't understand why he'd hold back and risk himself, his friends, his SOLDIERs, the entire planet. He repressed a sigh. He was trying to judge a situation without knowing it in full, without knowing what led from point A to point B.

He shifted his focus to her fear, of the cosmos, of other entities potentially like Jenova. Was there truth in this fear? If astronomers were to be believed, the Universe was a potentially infinite expanse. It's not unreasonable to assume there were other dangers out there. How they could prepare for future incursions was up for debate however. Because if there were other threats, would they be like Jenova? Or something completely different? Could focusing to fight one type of enemy cripple them in the face of another? Trying to predict the unknown was a exercise in frustration and futility he supposed. He would make SOLDIER the best he could, it was all he would be able to do without knowledge of what lurked in the great dark.

He turned his attention back to her traits. Weighing what kind of missions she could excel at, what she would struggle with. He doubted she would ever balk at any mission given so long as it didn't go against her morals. But did he focus her on solo missions or group missions? She wouldn't be a 3rd class forever. Once she made 2nd, she wouldn't require additional SOLDIER supervision per regulations. Generally there would be troopers or sometimes a Turk depending on the missions. But being backed by a SOLDIER vs being backed by others was a large difference. Yet she had not made any gains in connecting with her fellow SOLDIERs, in fact, if rumors he heard in passing were to be believed, someone had noticed her walking into Redman's office.

Unstable SOLDIERs had a stigma that was very difficult to overcome.

Much like her first year free, this could have crippling effects on her future comradery and cohesion with her fellow SOLDIER. He would expect his SOLDIERs to follow orders if they were instructed to work with her, but, he wouldn't imagine they would like it. That they wouldn't be watchful of her, rather than giving their mission their full attention. It was an opportunity loss he supposed, by having her seek treatment over letting her continue as is. Having her go through therapy would give him a stronger SOLDIER in the long run if successful, but perhaps more as an operative than as a team member. He had several loners, hard-asses who preferred to go it alone. Yet... she could work alone, but he did not believe she was a loner. More isolation was the last thing she needed.

He brought a pencil end to his lips in thought. There were some simple solutions. Focus on those who he knew would tolerate her. Zackery, Genesis, Angeal, himself, perhaps Zackery's friend Kunsel. A few other extremely laid back SOLDIERs might work. He would have to be careful in how he used himself and his friends however, lest rumors of favoritism or her needing the top SOLDIERs to keep an eye on her start up. He rubbed his forehead and sighed; this could be such a task to think through some times.

Though, speaking of Zackery...

He toyed with what Gainsborough had said. The pressure, the expectations; were they being unfair with Zackery? He wasn't trying to force the young SOLDIER to be someone he wasn't, he simply wanted the boy to reach his full potential that Aerith had revealed. The boy had seemed stressed lately though... his smiles and enthusiasm a bit forced... perhaps... they could reign it back a bit. Zackery was after all just a young 3rd class right now, not 2nd, and definitely not 1st. He'd talk it over with Angeal and Genesis later and bounce ideas. The last thing he wanted was to drive Zackery to a breaking point and ruin the boy after all.

He sighed again and rubbed his eyes. This whole thing with the Ancient, with what his other self had done, was making him far more aware of the potential dangers of an unwell mind than he had been before. Still, knowledge gained was knowledge gained, even if it made him a bit disgruntled.

And oh was he looking forward to gaining more knowledge from her next sessions.

Because next, if he recalled right, was where she would begin talking about the events surrounding the mad version of himself, and those who had rose up to challenge him. And he wanted them, all of them, anyone with that kind of strength and will, as an asset...

* * *

 **Review Responses** :

UnLike Us: Poor Zack, being his own living legacy. A little more on that this chapter, and perhaps a little closure to it.

SnarrySlave: Mmm, Sephiroth really isn't a fluffy kind of guy. Comradery and understanding perhaps, but overtly romantic/silly isn't his thing.

SakiWatari: Making me blush here. Thanks for the complements, it's always nice to find someone who enjoys my work. I've thought about trying to go get published, even have a book written in word, just never took the final step. I enjoy reading/writing fanfiction to much to have it shut down by trying to go all the way, if any publisher was interested anyway.

Patrick the Observer: A bit lighter than before, but still with hardship.

Azure Shine:

To everyone else: Thanks for the comments, and yes, Hojo will know pain, just perhaps not the way you think it will happen. :tease:


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